Notes

MikaNoa and GureShin may be my OTPs, doesn't mean I'm not going to write Shinya with Shinoa (ShinyaNoa?).

I mean, aside from Mahiru there's still another daughter of Hiragi (neglected af but yeah), and since making a competition for Mahiru's fiancée was already too much effort, why wouldn't they make Shinya to be Shinoa's fiancée after Mahiru's death, instead? Seriously, that's such a waste of resource.

Also, the height difference would be hilarious. Hahaha

When She's 17

She has always felt like a cheap imitation of her sister.

She doesn't particularly bother, except for one thing.

Because in the end, she's just a castaway daughter of Hiragi and he's the fiancée of her deceased sister.

There he stands, leaning against the pillar and looking up at the sky. His blue eyes—those the color of the sky—are closed, hidden behind pale eyelids and silver eyelashes.

Sometimes, Shinoa thinks that nothing can change the fact she's just a cheap imitation of her sister.

She leans her back beside him, feeling the breeze of autumn on her skin. Warmth emanates from the man, and his eyes—blue and soft—glance at her as he smiles. "Shinoa-chan, come to accompany me in this boring afternoon?"

"Perhaps," she says. "Major General looks lonely so I, a mere Sergeant ought to lend my presence."

He chuckles. "Awww, aren't you adorable, Shinoa-chan." He messes her hair and she glares under ashen strands. Still, she lets his fingers—long and callused—buried in her hair while he leans his tall frame closer to her. "I'm so proud of my little sister."

"I'm not your little sister," she objects—not betraying how her heart throbs at the mention of their relationship—her being the sister of his deceased fiancée.

It's unfair, Mahiru isn't even alive anymore but she's still there—haunting them, haunting her—because nothing she can do can ever let her forget that she's...

That Shinya is still his sister's.

The man sighs. "It's so boring. Guren and everyone is in two weeks mission and here I am—" He points himself with flourish, "Standing like a lamppost with nothing to do."

Guren, she thinks, is another thorn on her side.

Truthfully, Shinoa doesn't understand why Mahiru chose Guren over Shinya. Yes, they were childhood lovers, but for Shinoa who yearns for her sister's fiancée—it hurts. Not only because she knows that Shinya would never be hers, also because he—the man she loves—doesn't deserve any of this. To be forced to kill his friends when he was young, then met his supposed fiancée who didn't reciprocate him, to be treated as a dirt by Hiragi House, and being lied to by his best friend.

For years, Shinya stays with Guren—someone who's strong, a genius and so much alike with her sister. She doesn't know what Guren thinks about Shinya, just as much she doesn't know what Shinya really thinks about Guren. But sometimes she wonders if Shinya thinks Guren like he did to Mahiru—as someone he would grow to love, or if the silver haired is already in love with Guren.

Because it's hard to understand what Shinya is thinking, even after years she spends by his side—unfortunately as his little sister. What does he think of Mahiru? Guren? Or herself?

Shinoa is not Mahiru nor Guren. She's just a young—too young—girl with normal abilities and neglected by their family who yearns the adopted son of Hiragi—someone just as a cast out as she is.

Will he, ever look at her for even a second, to know that she's not his little sister but his equal, someone who loves him so much that it hurts.

"Shinoa-chan? Why are you suddenly looked like that?" Shinya crouches before her, frowning. "Are you okay?"

There are times she wants to tell those words to him, but... Shinya has always wanted a family. And if he wants Shinoa to be his little sister... what can she do?

Her throat feels choked up when she replies, "Just annoyed. My squad can be a pain in the ass."

He laughs. "Of course, the responsible Sergeant Hiragi Shinoa—the leader of a rowdy squad."

She smiles. "It's a real hard work."

Shinya shrugs. "Well, I understand that one. Guren can be such an annoyance most of the times. Especially everytime he procrastinates."

There goes her mood again. "I'm sure you only need to stand with Byakkomaru pointed on him then he would finish his paperworks."

"That's a quite good idea." He winks and Shinoa wills the blush away.

The silver haired hums under his breath, lips quirk on the edge and it's such a breathtaking sight.

She remembers the time she talked with Guren, about Yuu's condition and Mahiru-no-Yo. He guessed that she was in love with Yuu, but he was wrong. It wasn't Yuu. For years, she's been secretly in love with the man whom always stands beside Guren. The man that Guren himself treat as if... as if Shinya doesn't have any feelings. Sure, they are fond of each other, but Guren keeps secret from Shinya—even though Shinya has always been by his side. She knows how everything will blow up someday, and if Shinya would be hurt in the end...

"Shinoa-chan, we should go back. It's almost dark already."

Shinoa looks up. The silver hair shines under the red sky, a small smile on his face as he regards her. "Yes, we should, Major General."

And she will never call him other than Shinya or Major General, because she's not—and never wanted to be—his little sister.

"Go," he said. Eyes anxious, the wounds all over his skin, and lips tight in controlled anger as he fended off the oncoming assault.

They were betrayed but she, couldn't do anything except to gather her squad. Leaving him with them.

Shinoa wonders if he's even alive.

The girl hugs her knees closer, brown eyes looking at the beach—trying to control her emotions. She had shed her tears a lot for the past months alone—although she bets her squad know about it—that her tear duct feels dry no matter how much she wants to cry.

Because she's worried, of their survival, of his survival. She doesn't know if she could keep her squad alive or if she would let them to their death. She doesn't know if Shinya is well, or dead, or tortured by someone he called his best friend.

The betrayal stings, but it must hurt him even more.

"What are you doing here, Shinoa?"

She looks up. "Ah, Micchan. Just looking at the sea."

"Sure you are," she said but her tone unconvinced.

Shinoa shrugs, her finger leaving trails on the sand.

"What are you worry about?"

She glances at the blonde, a small smile quirks on her lips. "Aww Micchan, are you worried about me? How cute."

The girl glares in response. "Yeah, whatever." Then Mitsuba frowns, looking at the waves crashing on. "We don't know what would happen, but we're together, you know?" She continues, "As to those we had to leave behind... They would be fine. Your brother—Major General Shinya-sama—is strong, isn't he?"

"He's not my brother," she automatically objects and Mitsuba raises one eyebrow. "And yes, he's strong... but I don't know..."

She feels vulnerable, anxiety gripping her heart.

"Kureto-nii and Lieutenant Colonel Guren already did those things, and I know what they're capable of."

"Yes, they are, aren't they?" Mitsuba mutters. It reminds her that Mitsuba's sister did the same thing.

"Sorry Micchan."

She brushed it off. "Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it."

Still, Shinoa thinks how much they've suffered. Both her and Mitsuba, living in Elite House which can't be careless of them. Mika, Yuu, and Yoichi lost their family. Mirai, the one person Kimizuki loves the most, is experimented by JIDA.

Then there's Narumi, who lost everyone in his squad—just like Mitsuba did years ago.

"You're strong, Micchan." She was young when she lost her squad, then she was thrust into another squad—especially the one is led by Shinoa. Her sister, someone who should have protected her, didn't even bat an eye trying to kill her. Yet, Mitsuba still there, trying her best.

"Uuuh, you're so weird when you act like this." She says, still her neck reddened in embarrassment.

Shinoa laughs. Mitsuba is funny, acting tough though she's soft hearted inside. Everyone knows that she talks a lot with Narumi these days, given they're the only ones who understand how it felt to lose their squad.

Her thought takes a somber turn. "I wonder if they—" She gulps, hiding her eyes on her knees. "If they tortured Shinya." Shinoa grips the sand tight. "If—he's even alive anymore."

They fall silent but Shinoa can feel the stare on her back. Looking up, Mitsuba's wide shocked eyes are on her.

Shinoa can feel her cheeks heating up. Because by the look, it seems Mitsuba understands.

Mitsuba blinks then shakes her head. "I guess, that's the problem, isn't it?" Shinoa cringes at her uncertain tone. "Well, I don't know what to say about that—I think you should talk with Mika or Yuu better because honestly I don't understand—and I won't judge you for it—who am I kidding? Mika and Yuu have been dancing around each other and they're supposedly brothers—but..." She coughs, every bit looking flustered. "Your br—I mean, Shinya-sama is fine. You just have to believe that."

Those words warm her heart. It makes her eyes burn and she surreptitiously wipes her unshed tears. Mitsuba is right, she has to believe that Shinya will be fine. That they can meet again.

"Thanks Micchan," she smiled. "Your words were awkward but weirdly comforting."

Mitsuba looks as if she can't decide whether to be glad since Shinoa feels better, or to feel insulted.

There he is. His slacks and shirt are torn, bloodstained. His silver hair is lackluster, but she thinks it shines brighter than the moon. He's shaking from fatigue and injury, because the battle has been lost—and won. Still, he grins at his squad, laughing at their similar state and tag teaming Guren with Goshi—judging by the dark haired sulking demeanor.

Then those blue eyes catch hers. A smile—beautiful, which she misses for months—appears on his face. "Shinoa-chan!" He jogs toward her, limping on his right foot.

She freezes, her fingers still checking Yoichi's injury. A hand pushes her back, and she turns to Mitsuba—tired and wounded—smiling. "Go to him, we'll be fine."

Slightly confused, Yoichi adds. "Yeah, my wound is healing already."

"I—" she starts to say but Mitsuba interrupts.

"I said, go." She push her hard that Shinoa almost stumbles. Then her feet runs fast into his direction.

"Shinoa-chan!" He catches her, holding her tight in his arms that Shinoa—with her arms around his shoulders—is lifted from the ground. "You're fine—you're alive." He buries his head into her shoulder. "I thought—that I couldn't see you anymore."

She doesn't say anything. Closing her eyes, dripping tears on his shirt as she sobs. Fingers gripped him tighter, as if he would vanish from her arms.

Slowly, she feels one hand strokes her hair slowly. "It's fine, Shinoa-chan," he says softly. The warmth from him, seeps into her body.

It takes a long time to calm down. They disentangle, Shinya puts Shinoa back on the ground. "Now, now Shinoa-chan." He wipes her stray tears. "You're very brave. I'm so proud of you."

Shinoa looks up at the warm blue eyes and soft smile, feeling her throat chokes from the words she wants to say.

Shinya frowns when she keeps silent, still looking at him with those big brown eyes. "Shinoa-chan? Are you okay?"

Suddenly she grabs his collars down, rises to her toes and kissed him. Her eyes staring straight his blues. Tilting her head as she opens her lips, catching his lower lip between her teeth then drags her tongue across his mouth.

Just as suddenly, she goes back to her feet. Her hands leaving his collars but rise to his cheeks and stroke his lips.

"Shinya," she stares the wide blue eyes, his frame is frozen in shock still leaning down toward her. "I'll be eighteen soon," she says resolutely. "So prepare yourself."

Then she turns to walk away when Guren curses, "WHAT THE FUCK?" That wakes the rest of his squad into litany of yelling.

Before her, Mika is holding Yuu—who looks as if he has an aneurysm, while both Narumi and Kimizuki are gaping unsightly. Yoichi—who's blushing so hard—smiles at her and Mitsuba yells, "Go Shinoa!"

Halfway to her squad, she glances behind. Guren's squad are currently dragging the still frozen Shinya, a commotion of curses and slapping each other—wondering if they were dreaming. Shinya, however doesn't even flinch when Mito pulls his hair nor when Goshi pinches his cheeks. Blue eyes are still on her, so she licks her lips and winks.

The silver haired blushes.

Notes

The next chapter is Shinya's.