Distraction
A relatively uneventful weekend draw to a close as Sam got out of the car, sighing softly. She hadn't been able to stop Pete from driving her to the base - and here she was, at the entrance of the base under the watchful eye of the security guards and the cameras. She didn't like it when he brought her to work or picked her up, but she rarely succeeded in stopping him from taking her there. And as always, he gave her a goodbye kiss which she was still uncomfortable with. The security guard at the gate smiled to himself when he saw that, but Sam gave him a withering look whereupon he stubbornly looked straight ahead again. She was about to say goodbye to Pete and go as a silver cabriolet stopped behind Pete's car and she almost lost her faith when she realized who was sitting in it. She stared toward the car and what she saw dealt her a deep stab in the heart.
In the passenger seat sat Jack, no Colonel O'Neill to her, and smiled at the woman in the driving seat. He leaned toward her and whispered something in her ear before he kissed her. Sam's stomach churned and she had to force herself not to run away immediately or burst into tears – after all, Pete was still standing beside her. Pete, the man she was around with now, the man she wanted to marry.
She continued to watch as Jack kissed this woman and the two didn't seem to want to separate in the next time. But it got worse. The next moment Jack pulled the woman toward him and then she sat on his lap already. He kissed her long again while his hands rested on her back and it was very hard for Sam to hold back the tears that burned in her eyes. She noticed in passing that Pete talked to her, but she didn't listen to him. Instead, she was still staring at the car and could only imagine too well what the two just did. And she hated it. After what felt like eternity they broke away from each other and Jack smiled at the woman lovingly, then he whispered something in her ear, making her laugh. And then he closed his eyes, put his head slightly back and the smile on his face was getting wider. Jack kissed her again before the woman broke the kiss and he pushed her back on the driver's seat. Now Sam was able to throw a good glance at the woman: She was young, very young. Much younger than the Colonel and also younger than she herself was. She had long brown hair and a really pretty face. She hated the woman at this very moment.
When Jack climbed from the car, peppy and with a big grin, Sam was aware that maybe she also ought to move again. In addition, Pete was still standing beside her, but it seemed he hadn't noticed her mental absence, because he simply smiled kind when he actually said goodbye to her.
"I'll see you tonight, right?", Pete asked as he climbed into the car and Sam affirmed the question. Although she had no desire for this evening meeting but what should she do? She should play a small part in the wedding planning, too. So Sam said goodbye to him and headed for the security check, the Colonel close on her heels.
"Carter, hey Carter, wait a minute", she heard his voice behind her and her heart stopped for a moment. Was that really all he saw in her? Would she always be Carter for him? She turned around and looked at him blankly.
"Colonel, I thought you might need a moment...", she said, pointing to the silver cabriolet which drove off straight.
"Oh, that... Yes..." He began to smile and then cleared his throat. "Have you seen us?", he asked and Sam got nervous immediately. She began to chew her lower lip and got sweaty palms. That was soooo uncomfortable.
"Um, well... It was very hard not to miss you two!" she said, her voice sounded unusually hard, even in her ears. And Jack stopped short and looked at her quizzically. "So, who is she?", Sam then asked, trying to smile.
"Her name is Melissa, Melissa Jenkins", said Jack with a smile, and again this gave her a stab in the heart. Did he have deeper feelings for this woman?
"And how did you both met?"
"She is currently writing her doctoral thesis and I help her doing a little bit." Sam raised an eyebrow and wondered how the Colonel could probably help this Melissa.
"And how exactly do you help her, sir?" The shrewish tone in her voice didn't escape the Colonel, because his view changed and became harder again. His smile disappeared and Jack became serious again.
"I think I don't understand the question completely, Major", said Jack and Sam twitched slightly. She had upset him, that was more than clear and actually it was not what she wanted. But the sight of him with this woman had hurt her - but presumably he didn't even know that. How could he? After all, she was with Pete now, more than that, she was engaged to him. How could he get the idea that it hurt her when he kissed another woman?
"Um... I mean, at what exactly you help her?", Sam rephrased her question, hoping that Jack no longer looked at her like that.
"Oh... I thought..." But he didn't finish the sentence.
"What did you think, sir?"
"Oh, nothing...", he muttered and then continued. "She writes her thesis on the different properties of explosives and how they can be used best. Something like that. And General Kerrington sent her to me because he thought I may help her."
"She's in the Air Force?", asked Sam then and frowned. If she really was in the Air Force, they could still be together because he wasn't her commanding officer. Thus, he didn't have to go into hiding with her and could be seen with her in public without causing any trouble. Sam became melancholy, because with this Melissa he could have what he could never have with her: an official relationship.
"God, no Carter. She's a civilian employee! I'd never…" escaped him, but he didn't finish the sentence this time, and immediately she was confused again.
"Um... And you had a nice weekend?", Sam wanted to know and immediately Jack began to smile again.
"Yeah, I think you could say that. And you?" Oh no, he had a nice weekend. With her. And she? She had spent a terrible weekend with Pete – dreary, boring, tedious. But she couldn't tell him, so she lied.
"Well, yeah. Maybe we should move on, shouldn't we?", Sam said then, trying to suppress the feeling of nausea that rose up inside her. She simply couldn't believe it. The Colonel had a girlfriend or something like that and she? She had Pete. And Pete was nice, really nice.
"And you both are? You know...", Sam asked as they had passed the security checkpoint and stood in the elevator to go down. She was afraid of the answer the colonel could give her, even though inwardly she knew what he would say.
"Um... I think you could probably say that."
Even if she had expected this answer, the statement hit her as a hard punch in the gut. But she would brace herself and put a good face on a bad game.
"Oh... And may I ask how long?"
Jack cleared his throat and got a little unsure beside her. She knew his behavior almost exactly, and right now he was nervous, very nervous.
"I would say about three months...", he admitted quietly and Sam almost choked on her own air. He had a relationship for three months and she knew nothing about it. Why hadn't he told her about that? And why hadn't she noticed it?
With a pling the elevator doors opened and they went to the changing rooms together, where their paths eventually parted.
The day passed quickly, because Sam had barricaded herself into her laboratory and well avoided the Colonel this way. She hadn't seen him all day and he hadn't even dropped over her lab. When it was time to call it a day, she changed clothes and went to the surface. Her car was still in the parking lot, as Pete had picked her up last Friday. She got into her car, but instead of going home headed for a different direction. She drove to Jack's house.
She wanted to talk to him again, wanted to apologize for her strange behavior this morning and she hoped to lose this strange feeling inside her afterwards. She had Pete and she would marry him. Why only then she felt a stab in her heart when she thought about Jack and Melissa kissing and doing other things? Things that she wanted to do with him for so many years? And now it was too late, because they had both grown apart. He had a girlfriend and she was about to marry. A man she thought was nice. A man she, being honest, didn't love. But Pete was a good man and she was confident that everything would add. It surely took only a little more time.
After arriving at Jack's place she walked toward the front door, but when she heard noises, she went directly to the backyard. But she rather shouldn't have done. The noise grew louder and clearer. It was obvious what kind of noise it was. She heard loud breathing noises, low moan and repeated choppy "Ah's" and "Oh's". She should have gone back, but she couldn't. Instead she went on and the noise grew louder. And as soon as she had turned the corner she already saw the two.
Jack pressed her against the house wall, she had wrapped her legs around his waist and Jack repeatedly rhythmically moved in the same direction. She should have gone, but she stared at them magnetized, wishing with every movement Jack made that it was her he was screwing against the house wall. She continued to watch them both and heard the ever louder moans of the two until it was completely calm at once. Sam pulled herself together and hid, so that the two couldn't see her. But what she had seen and heard had let her get wet and the thought that Jack could do the same with her increased her desire for sex even more.
But at the same moment she was aware that Jack just had sex with another woman and that she never might have him in this way, and that made her sigh disappointed. She dropped herself quietly out of her hiding-place and ran back to her car to drive home.
Once there, she walked right into the house and was - for the first time - really grateful that Pete was already there. She longed for satisfaction and she hoped that he could give it to her this time. The sex with Pete had been rather not so good, but maybe it would be different this time, maybe it would be better. After all, she was more than ready for him, so she pulled him, without much preface, with her to the bedroom.
"Hey, what are you doing Sam?", Pete asked with a grin, but she didn't answer him. She opened his pants and pushed him onto the bed. Fortunately, it usually didn't take long until Pete was ready and so it was this time. She removed her clothes also, and grabbed a condom from the nightstand drawer which she held out to him in a hurry. She lay down on the bed and it wasn't long until he was in her and moved slowly as he tried to kiss her everywhere. But Sam didn't want it to be slow and tender; she wanted it fast and hard. So she turned with him so she sat on him and could set the pace. And that she did. She moved quickly and lust for redemption. But she just wouldn't come. She closed her eyes and imagined how she wrapped her legs around Jack's hips while he fucked her against the wall of his house. She slipped her hand between her legs and rubbed the sensitive bundle of nerves hard while moving up and down faster and faster.
It didn't take long and an orgasm spread through her body and left her cringe. Marginal she noticed that Pete had also reached his peak, but she didn't care. At the moment it was all about her and about forgetting the sight she had seen only half an hour ago.
"Wow, what was that?", she heard Pete ask and she smiled, shrugging.
"I just felt like", Sam said, before she climbed off of him and left him on the bed inquiring. She went into the bathroom to take a shower and she rolled her eyes slightly as she heard that Pete followed her.
"How about a second round?", he whispered into her ear as he stepped behind her under the warm shower spray. But Sam wasn't up for a second round, at least not with him and excused herself. Slightly taken aback she left Pete alone in the shower after a few minutes.
That night she didn't sleep very well, because there were always the same thoughts running through her head. The sex with Pete that she had had this evening was the best she had ever had with him and she had thought of Jack. How would it be when he was under her not only in her thoughts but in real? Just the thought made her wet again and she tried to give herself a little relief without waking Pete. How it would feel like if Jack was fucking her? Was there still a chance that it will ever happen? She didn't know it, but she would find out. First thing tomorrow, she would talk to him and just ask him. But what if he was laughing at her? Could she handle it? She didn't know, but she had to try it.
The next morning she went alone to the base. She had succeeded and had talked Pete out of taking her to base. After passing the security checkpoint, going down and changing she made her way to the meeting room, as at 0900 they would have a short briefing on their next mission, which would start in two days. Sam was nervous as she entered the room, because Jack was already there and obviously waiting for the rest of his team.
"Carter", he greeted her, smiling slightly.
Sam couldn't help but smiled back at him as she greeted him with "Good morning, sir". And she took the chance and put her plan into action.
"You have some time after the meeting, Colonel? I'd like to discuss something with you. In private…"
She saw Jack frowning and looking at her intently as he asked her if everything was okay. Sam said yes halfheartedly and noticed that Jack still looked questioningly at her. Also during the briefing his expression changed only when he looked at the others. But once his gaze was back to her there was also back the quizzical look.
"All right, Carter. What you want to talk about?", he asked as the meeting was over and they were the last two left in the meeting room.
"Um, I'd like to tell you in a less public place."
"It's nothing bad, I hope?", Jack then wanted to know directly. "You're not pregnant or something, right?!"
"Good God, no!", escaped Sam directly and she saw Jack breath somehow relieved.
"Well...", he said very quietly, so only she could hear it and he looked at her a little more relaxed. "So where should we go? To talk, I mean?"
"Don't know exactly. How about my quarters? Since we're undisturbed…", Sam suggested and she saw Jack swallow, before he nodded slowly.
"So Carter, what's so important?", Jack started the conversation, obviously feeling a little uncomfortable in her quarter. Was that a good or a bad sign? She would probably find out soon.
"I was at your place yesterday, sir...", Sam began and Jack frowned for a moment.
"I know...", he said and Sam startled briefly. What did he mean? Had he seen her? God that would be more than embarrassing.
"You know?", Sam asked, therefore, after hesitating.
"Yeah... I always know when you're near, Sam. And I know that you have seen us as we... "
"Oh God! I really didn't want to...", stammered Sam to herself. That was soooo embarrassing and she began to chew on her lower lip unconfidently. And she realized how Jack's mouth slightly moved upwards.
"What is it you didn't want, Sam?", he asked with a raspy voice and slowly walked toward her.
"I... I didn't..."
"You did not what, Sam? Watch as Melissa and I have sex? Watch as I satisfy her? Watch as I make her moan while I think of you?"
The last part let her sit up and notice and caused her to look at him wide-eyed.
"What?"
"You heard me, Sam."
"But…"
"But? What did you do when you were gone?", he asked her as he put his hand to her cheek and gently stroked it.
"What?", Sam replied confused. His sudden proximity was too much for her and she had difficulties to concentrate.
"What did you do after leaving?", Jack asked again and she saw a fire in his eyes that she had never seen before.
"I went home and..."
"And?"
"I slept with Pete...", she admitted quietly and Jack's eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second.
"And how was it?", Jack asked and Sam realized that he swallowed hard.
"Good, because..."
"Because?"
"Because I was thinking of you and I imagined how it would be to be in her place...", Sam admitted quietly.
Jack licked his tongue over his lips while he stared at hers and then he closed the small gap between them and kissed her. First, the kiss was careful and cautious, but it quickly became passionate, demanding and their tongues dueled in an attempt to gain the upper hand. When they broke from each other after an eternity, just because of the acute lack of oxygen, they looked deep into the others eyes. Both were breathing heavily and Jack was the first one to speak again.
"Wow ...", it escaped him softly and Sam also said only a "Yeah, wow ..."
"Do you know how many times I've wished to do this?", Jack said softly and lookef her still deep in the eyes. "And do you know how many times I've been wishing to be able to hold you in my arms and to..."
"And what, Jack?"
"To sleep with you", he confessed softly and Sam watched as he swallowed.
"You want to sleep with me?", asked Sam, she just had to hear that again from him.
"More than anything else…"
"But what then?"
"Then... you have to decide what you want, Sam."
"But what about..."
"Melissa? Don't worry about her. We both agreed from the beginning that it's only a loose affair... "
"You mean..."
"Yes…"
Surprised and pleased at the same time how the conversation developed, Sam pulled Jack again toward her into a never-ending kiss. But Jack broke up after a while and said that he has to leave. First Sam didn't understand why and what exactly he meant, but then she remembered that they were still on base.
"When will you knock off work?", Jack wanted to know and Sam briefly considered what this question was about.
"About 1800, I think. Why?"
"Because I'd like to continue what we've just begun."
"You mean..."
"Yeah, if that's want you want..."
"When and where should I be?", Sam asked immediately. Nothing and no one could hold her from sleeping with Jack today.
Before he left her quarters he gave her another kiss and this gave her, even more than the others before, a sneak peek at the upcoming evening.
The next hours retreated as chewing gum, where Sam more than once wished that it was finally 1800 hrs. She worked all the time in her lab, but she didn't get forward. Instead, she kept thinking of Jack and how his lips have felt on hers. How would they feel at ease on the rest of her body?
When her cell phone rang suddenly, this tore her out of her thoughts. It was Pete and for a split second she felt guilty. But when she answered the call, the bad conscience was gone again. Instead she chillingly lied to Pete that she had to work longer and would therefore stay on base. Pete sounded disappointed, but he seemed to buy it.
He still told her something but she only listened monaural, because something at her door caught her attention. Or rather someone. Jack stood in the doorway, arms folded, smiling slightly to himself. Sam quickly said goodbye to Pete and hung up.
"Hey...", she said and began to smile timidly. Her heart was pounding and she began to sweat.
"Hey...", he said likewise only. "Everything okay?", he asked then by pointing to the phone in her hand.
"Uh... Oh, yeah. That was just... Everything's fine. "
"It's 1800..."
"Oh... Really?" Her heart pounded even more and she became increasingly nervous. Now it was serious. Jack stood in her laboratory door to tell her that it was time to knock off. And they both knew exactly what that meant. They had a date after work. A hot date, hopefully. Her mouth was suddenly dry as she thought about what would happen between them and she licked her lips to moisten it a bit again.
"Can you please stop doing this?!", Jack said relatively quiet and she saw his penetrating gaze.
"Oh... Does it..."
"Yes…"
"Oh…"
"Yes…"
"We should then..."
"Yes..." And with that he left her lab and she followed him a few seconds later.
She followed his truck and found herself half an hour later in front of his house. This she hadn't expected. She had assumed that they would go to a hotel and immediately the images of what she had to face yesterday sneaked back into her thoughts. Jack and Melissa as... How he... But maybe he would do the same today with her. But what then? Then she'd have to decide, Jack had said. And she knew exactly what he meant. She would have to decide how to go on with Pete. But actually she knew long ago. She couldn't marry him because that would be wrong for so many reasons and not fair to both of them. If she really loved Pete then she wouldn't be here, wouldn't stand in front of Jack's house, the house of her commanding officer, and wouldn't look forward to sleep with him. Banishing the thought of Pete from her head she climbed out of her car and grabbed Jack's hand which he had put off inviting. And in the moment she'd touched his hand her heart beat faster and in her belly this insane tingling spread, that she always felt when he touched her. But now it was increased a thousand times when she thought about what she was going to do. Jack smiled at her as he pulled her to him and hand in hand they climbed up the few steps to his front door. As the door was closed behind them it wasn't long and she felt his lips back to hers. He kissed her as he did a couple of hours ago and for Sam it was clear that she would never get enough of him kissing her. Their tongues played with each other while their hands began to undress the other. When Sam had completely unbuttoned Jack's shirt and had pushed it from his shoulders, he moaned softly. Still kissing she let her hands slide over his bare chest, through his chest hair further down to open his pants. Hers had already made its way to the ground. While Sam opened Jack's pants, he broke the kiss briefly to get rid of her shirt. Only dressed in underwear they still kissed right in the hallway of his house, and their hands and fingers gently explored the other's body.
"Tell me what you want, Sam", whispered Jack when he ended the kiss, to caress her neck.
"I want you to shag me how you did Melissa yesterday", said Sam and Jack stopped to kiss her neck. He looked at her questioningly and tentatively and Sam had the impression to explain herself.
"Since last night I imagine what it would be. So please, Jack. I want you to shag me as you did her yesterday."
Jack swallowed shortly before he said "Okay, but we'll vary the whole thing a little, because I want to share this moment with you and no one else."
Sam nodded hesitantly and bit her lower lip again. What was he going to do? Jack took her hand in his and pulled her with him to a room she identified a little later as his bathroom. When he was starting the shower she knew exactly what he was doing and she liked the idea very much. He began to kiss her passionately again while he undid the clasp of her bra and let it fall to the ground unnoticed. He broke away from her and looked at her hungry from head to foot.
"You're so beautiful", he said before he kissed her again. He let his hands tenderly wander over her breasts which drew Sam a long, rough groan. She placed her hands on his hips and shoved a hand into his underpants. He was more than ready for her and she had been more than ready for him a long time ago. They got rid of the rest of their clothes that even prevented them from finally merging together and then they both stepped under the warm shower spray. They kissed and Sam enjoyed how the warm water ran down her already overheated body and she heard Jack groaning. She ended the kiss and looked deep into his eyes.
"Are you sure?", he asked with a raspy voice but Sam didn't answer and kissed him instead while she wrapped one leg around his waist. She could clearly feel Jack's arousal and with one fluid motion he grabbed her second leg and lifted her up so that she could wrap this around his waist, too. He let go of her a little, only to enter her in a slow, fluid motion. They both groaned and Sam took a moment to adapt to Jack, but then he even began to move. In slow and gentle movements he pushed himself into her again and again while he kissed her all the time. Sam realized that all the muscles in her belly tightened and the orgasm was building slowly deep inside her. She pulled her lips from Jacks and rested her head against the tiled wall as she panted for air. Her breathing was getting faster and she moaned more often and Jack felt the same. His movements became faster and faster, also his breathing and the way he groaned in her ear brought her even closer to her climax. And this was about to come sooner than expected as Jack changed his position slightly and now pushed himself ever faster into her. Her breath mingled with his and his moans drowned hers out. He was also on the verge, so Sam again kissed him passionately. She felt Jack stop suddenly before he thrusted into her a few times fast and hard so they both simultaneously reached their climax.
Still breathing heavily they remained in their position and looked deep into the others eyes. Jack was still in her and her legs were still around his waist as he kissed her again tenderly. She noticed how he swelled up again inside her and in the next moment she heard Jack moan. That had never happened to Sam before but she wouldn't complain. Jack began to move again while still tenderly kissing her and made them climax again shortly after.
"Wow", was the only thing Sam could say as she slowly pulled away from Jack. Her legs still felt like jelly when she felt the floor of the shower back under her feet.
"Yeah, wow... This hadn't happen to me in a long time", Jack said softly and smiled.
"What?", Sam wanted to know then and looked at him quizzically.
"Coming twice in such a short time, that hadn't happen to me for a long time," said Jack and Sam smiled fondly.
"Me neither", confessed Sam softly.
"No? Not even with...?"
"No. To tell the truth, I had the best sex with him yesterday... and there... I was thinking of you...", Sam admitted, and saw Jack's face changing again.
"Can we stop talking about sex with others? From today I'd only like to talk about sex I have with you... "
"Oh... Okay", Sam whispered and then added, "...So you want to continue to have sex with me?"
"Yeah! What you think? I'll prefer to sleep with you, and only you, for the rest of my life. But that only works if you also want to."
And with this they arrived at the actual point. Could they be together? Be a couple? But they'd have to keep it secret. Hide it from their friends, their families, the Air Force. From everyone. As Jack had guessed her thoughts he said that there was a solution, but that he wanted to talk about it with her when they had finished their shower. So they did.
Wrapped in a towel they both sat on his bed and Sam wanted to know directly what solution there was for their problem.
"First you have to think of what you want to do with Pete", Jack began.
"I'm going to leave him. I don't love him and I can't marry him under any circumstances."
"That's good."
"But what about the regs? We can't be officially together."
"So truth to be told, yes we can. We can be together, if that's what you really want."
"What do you mean? The regs say quite clearly..." But Jack put a finger on her lips and made her to remain silent.
"There's an exemption for the SGC", explained Jack and Sam looked at him quizzically. "There are already a couple of colleagues at the SGC, soldiers, having a very official relationship."
"But how? Who? Since when?" Jack smiled slightly when he heard these questions from Sam because that's exactly what he had expected.
"The president has approved this exception about six months ago and since then..." But Sam interrupted him directly.
"You know that for six months? Why didn't you say a word?"
"Because you were with Pete and you wanted to marry him."
"But if I had known that..."
"I know... But I couldn't tell you. You had to decide what you want. And when you got engaged to him I thought that it didn't matter anymore."
"Is that why you got involved with Melissa?" Sam had just calculated this in her had. She had accepted Pete's proposal about four months ago and Jack had met Melissa about three months ago.
"Yes... I thought I'd lost you forever and needed a distraction to not always be reminded of what I've lost."
"But if I had known..."
"I know now. But Hammond has good reason to keep this under tight wraps. He wants people to come to him, because then they're really serious about a relationship. So if you really want to lead an official relationship with me, we can go to Hammond and tell him that tomorrow."
"Then let's do it!"
"Really?", Jack asked again, but Sam just nodded and kissed him.
"I love you, Sam", Jack said softly.
"I love you too, Jack", replied Sam before she kissed him again.
The next morning they both stood in Hammond's office and explained their situation to him. Sam was nervous but Jack gave her the confidence that she missed in this moment. Hammond grinned the whole time to himself and told them at the end that he had wondered if they would eventually find each other. He congratulated them and wished them all the best for the future.
That evening Sam met one last time with Pete and explained the situation. But, contrary to her expectation, he didn't respond angrily but almost sympathetically. He told her that somehow he had always known that something was wrong and that something or rather someone was standing between them. That this someone was Jack O'Neill, he hadn't suspected, but in the end it didn't even matter. Pete said goodbye in a sad but composed way and wished her all the best.
Jack had already talked to Melissa that day and both had ended their arrangement by mutual agreement.
As they lay in Jack's bed this evening and talked, Sam felt a feeling of having arrived for the first time in her life. She was exactly where she wanted to be for so long - in Jack's arms. And there she would remain for the rest of their lives.
AN: I hope you liked it. Feel free to review ;-)