silver clouds with gray linings
A/N: Hello to all of you! I tried out a chapter of remembering the ending (reading backwards does not work) and realized that I do not do that kind of story well. So it's back to the rain clouds and funerals and the like. Sorry to disappoint the fans of my less-than gloomy stories, like Visions of Sunset. Anyways, enjoy! I do not own Clannad or anything affiliated with it (unfortunately). There's currently an idea festival going on; send me a private message of the fandom you want me to write for since I have a serious case of no ideas...hahahahaha~
summary: she likes to watch the clouds, she likes the peace that comes with them. but one day somebody else stumbles into her hideout. maybe she's secretly thankful for the routine chaos that she experiences when she's with him.
She lazily throws herself down on the blanket she's spread out, relaxing and gazing up at the sky.
The clouds are as puffy as the day that she sat all alone in her house, waiting for her parents to come back home.
She listens to the silence carefully.
There's not a single footstep.
Everything is silent, because everyone is in class.
Except for her.
She's allowed to skip her classes, on account of the fact that she already knows what's being taught.
So she sits out here, watches clouds, and chases away her fears with solitude. After all, if you're alone, then you can't be hurt, and nobody can get in to hurt you.
Today is a strange day.
Even though the clouds are out and a light breeze is blowing, she has a vague premonition that something will happen.
She discards the thought and decides she doesn't care.
So she takes out a book to pass the time until she can see him again.
Tomoya Okazaki, who made her childhood happy.
But then he disappeared.
He became a delinquent.
And her heart cried out that it wasn't fair, that he wasn't such a bad person as they made him out to be.
She heard stories sometimes as she walked to school.
Sighing, she unpacks her picnic lunch and spreads it out.
She's made it herself.
She always makes lunch by herself.
She won't go to the cafeteria, because she's afraid of the people there.
She's afraid that they'll hurt her, that they'll call her mean things, or worse yet, that they'll be her friends and disappear like Tomoya did.
But she still misses him all the same.
She misses the feeling of knowing someone is there to catch you if you fall.
She misses the feeling of butterflies flitting all over the garden, and running around to catch them, knowing that even if you don't get this one, the boy next to you undoubtedly will.
And above all, she misses the companionship which she cherished the most, a real friend to call her own.
Nobody comes to visit her anymore.
Of course not.
The library is lonely and it frankly depresses her even more.
She used to go there.
But she doesn't now.
She stays out here, where the immense feeling of being alone in a school with hundreds of other people cannot attack her and leave her on the verge of tears.
Propping up her reading glasses, she leans her head against the soft bundle that is her jacket (she's taken that off, it's way too nice outside) and yawns.
She's getting sleepy.
She'll probably sleep until the end of school. She somehow always wakes up before then.
Suddenly, she hears the sound of feet coming alone.
It's a navy-haired boy, running towards her.
His look of surprise is obvious.
He didn't think anybody would be out here.
She wonders how he knew about this place.
Maybe he didn't.
Maybe he was just looking for a place to hide.
He's obviously an athlete, since he doesn't even look tired from the long way from the classroom to here.
"Ah," he gasps, "may I...hide here?"
She nods, and looks him over, then gasps in surprise.
It's Tomoya.
Tomoya, taller and changed, but still the same boy who caught butterflies with her.
"Tomoya-kun?" she inquires, looking at him.
He's taken aback.
"How do you know my name?"
She frowns. So he doesn't remember.
They sit in lingering silence together.
Wordlessly, she pushes a sandwich towards him and a water bottle.
He nods his thanks and begins to eat quietly.
The sky, bright blue as ever, is abound with fluffy clouds, in all sorts of shapes.
She watches a bunny one drift aimlessly about, bumping into another one shaped like a dove. Or she'd like to believe it's shaped like a dove.
She remembers cloud-watching with her senior guide her first year. She had taken her outside.
Kanako's uneasy smile made her feel terrible. She didn't want to force her to do something that she hated.
"C-cloud watching, Ichinose-san?" she managed to stutter out. "H-how...nice."
Kotomi smiles sadly.
Just another one of those people who enjoyed the rush of life too much and couldn't be happy just sitting down and doing nothing
She blinks.
Maybe there's something to be said for Kanako's pretty looks, but she certainly has nothing in the way of the art of cloud watching.
Silently, the two stare up at the sky, before Kanako checks her watch and shakes her head.
"I've got to go to the dance team. Thanks anyways, Ichinose-san."
She hadn't even asked Kotomi's first name.
That made her sad.
Now, Tomoya was looking at her curiously, in fascination, not the disgust and fear that Kanako had looked at her with.
"What's your name?" he asked, setting the water bottle down.
She smiled at him.
Even if he didn't remember, she should still be polite.
"I'm Kotomi Ichinose, spelled with three hiragana."
"Kotomi...Ichinose...you're not in my class, are you?"
She frowns at him.
"I am in your year, though."
They sit together in silence once more.
She begins to pack up the scraps of her picnic lunch.
He helps her by collecting all the trash into one plastic bag.
Finally, she rolls up the blanket and stuffs it into the basket she brought.
"Lunch is almost over," he informs her.
A girl comes running in, her eyes wide with worry.
"Okizaki! I was wondering where you went!"
Then, she goes quiet and looks a little downtrodden.
"Was I...interrupting anything?"
Tomoya shakes his head.
"It's nothing, Furukawa."
She's a little hurt he called their reunion after so many years "nothing."
But he redeems himself by patting her head, and saying, "I'll see you tomorrow, Ichinose-san."
She shakes her head.
"When you call me, call me Kotomi-chan."
He stops for a moment, and she thinks she sees a flash of remembrance in his eyes.
But then he smiles and says, "I'll see you tomorrow, Kotomi-chan."
She sits there in a stupor, placing her hand on the spot that he touched.
"Tomoya-kun..." she whispers sadly, before leaving the area.
The next day, she's there again, reading her novel in French: Quand Mon Amour Pour Vous Est Parti, or When My Love For You Has Left.
It was actually a very interesting book, about the tragic heroine Josephine, who struggles to love the man who she is forced to marry, but finally decides to leave him due to his mental condition.
Tomoya does come back, this time with food.
He's holding a container full of what seems to be brownies.
"I made these, since yesterday you gave me the sandwich."
He looks at them self-consciously.
She smiles, and says, "As long as you put your effort into them, it's fine, Tomoya-kun."
He smiles in relief, and sits down.
The girl from earlier comes back.
"Okizaki, I thought that you shouldn't eat alone, and so..."
Then, she sees Kotomi.
"Ah...! I'll just go, then..."
She can never bear to see a sad look on anyone's face.
"No, please stay! There's enough food for everyone, especially since Tomoya-kun made brownies."
Befriending another person makes her uncomfortable, but at the same time she feels like it'll make her happy.
She doesn't know, so she'll try it out.
Hesitantly, the ginger-haired girl sits down and straightens her skirt. She glances at Tomoya out of the side of her eye, but Tomoya is busy looking at Kotomi to see if she's bothered by another presence.
"What's your name?" she says, with as much cheerfulness as she can muster.
The girl smiles, and says, "I'm Nagisa Furukawa! I'm pleased to make your acquaintance."
"I'm Kotomi Ichinose, spelled with three hiragana~"
Nagisa props herself up on her elbows, and says conversationally, "How come I never see you in class, Kotomi-chan?"
"I..." she blushes, afraid of what Nagisa will say, "don't actually have to go to class since I...already know the lessons."
Tomoya is surprised. "You must be really smart, then!"
Kotomi affixes him with a glare, and chides him lightly. "Tomoya-kun, did you really think I was skipping class?"
"Well, you don't seem like the type...but hey, you never know!" He defends himself, and smiles.
"So, how long have you known Okizaki, Kotomi-chan?" Nagisa cuts in, and helps herself to a brownie.
She debates about how to answer the question.
She glances at Tomoya.
On one hand, he doesn't remember the time they spent together.
On the other hand, she doesn't want to lie.
She merely answers, "Yesterday was the first time I met him here."
That wasn't really a lie, since she had never met him at school before.
Tomoya stiffens.
Nagisa glances back at the entrance to the clearing.
"What is it, Okizaki-"
Then, a shadow crosses the ground.
They look up.
It is a blonde student, with blue eyes and an outraged face.
"Okizaki! YOU DITCHED ME AGAIN! Hey, wait, who's that chick?" He points to Kotomi.
Tomoya bristles.
"Hey, back off, man. I only met her yesterday, Sunohara."
Sunohara smirks. "Two-timing with Furukawa and her!? I thought you were better than that!"
Nagisa flushes red, and says quietly, "We're not dating, Sunohara-san!"
He says, "Could've fooled me!"
Then he sits down to the picnic as well. Things are getting rather crowded, she thinks, taking small nibbles of her coconut sponge cake, and offering Sunohara a slice.
"Who're you?" he asks her inquisitively.
"Kotomi Ichinose."
She doesn't think he'll care about the hiragana part.
"I'm Youhei Sunohara, the best-looking guy around!"
Tomoya snorts.
"More like the best-looking guy around Shrimp Land. You can't even get a girlfriend."
"Neither can you!" rebuts Sunohara, flying into a rage. "I mean, look at Furukawa and Ichinose-"
She frowns at him.
"When you call me, call me Kotomi-chan."
"Alright, fine, Furukawa and Kotomi-chan! The girl likes you, so why don't you go for it!?"
She can't tell if he's referring to her, Nagisa, or both of them.
Tomoya frowns.
"Sunohara, get your mind out of the gutter."
Kotomi smiles in her mind.
She may not be alone with Tomoya like she wanted, but she has a warm, fuzzy feeling inside of her.
Maybe she'll enjoy being around Nagisa-chan and Sunohara-kun as much as she likes being around Tomoya-kun.
A/N: YAY THAT'S DONE FINALLY (hahahahahahahaha took me forever though .)