The Tragic Tale of Lady Elwen Romenel

Chapter One- Oh, What a Beautiful Morning... Not

I'm rewriting a story that's been sitting for some four years. I figure that's enough time to let it stew- maybe now my editing can make it amount to something. Almost everything belongs to Tolkien, but Elwen and the situation are mine.

I hate mornings, as a general rule, and that morning wasn't an exception to it. I opened my eyes to see my ceiling, all dark wood and skilful carving, dappled with sunlight from the window. It was far too bright and I rolled over onto my stomach to try and go back to sleep.

"Milady?" I had been almost out when a soft voice near my ear spoke. "Does it please you to rise? Your father has need of your counsel."

My brain started working at that. My mother and father had divorced when I was ten, and I hadn't seen him since then and when it dawned on me that whoever-the-hell-it-was had called me 'milady', I sat bolt upright in shock.

"Lady Elwen? Are you well?" I looked over at the speaker- a slender, incandescently beautiful girl looked back, her eyes nervous. Behind her, everything was different than it was when I went to sleep- light woods, green hangings, and a view onto pine woods and mountains and waterfalls that I was pretty sure I would have remembered. The girl repeated her question. "Are you well, milady?"

"Uh. I'm fine, I think." I was in shock now, just looking around at the room.

"Good. Your father wishes to see you as soon as you are dressed and have breakfasted. Which gown would you like to wear today?"

I probably resembled a fish as I opened and shut my mouth. "Um. Could you decide? I'm not sure at all."

"Ah, I think something green would be nice today. To match your eyes, of course."

Last time I'd looked in a mirror, my eyes had been a kind of greyish-blue.

She walked gracefully to the wardrobe- more gracefully than I'd ever seen anyone move- and pushed her hair back, revealing a delicately pointed ear. My hands went to my own ears, practically of their own volition. They were pointed too- this latest development probably should have surprised me more than it did, but I was feeling practically blasé by now.

The elf-girl came back to my bed, carrying a long, delicate-looking dress of green silk. It was trimmed with silver embroidery and beading that twined around the neck and the hem like vines. She laid it over the foot of the bed. "I thought you might wear this, milady."

"Uh." Okay, wearing that? I'd fall and get tomato sauce all over it or something. "Uh, that looks lovely."

"Put it on and I will do your hair." She glided out of the room, and I managed to get the gown on, fumbling with the laces that tightened it to fit. It was quite long, and the sleeves were drapey and they kept getting in my way. I had to keep pushing surprisingly blonde hair out of my face. I moved to the mirror I'd seen as she came back in, apparently psychically knowing when I'd finished getting it on. I sat in the chair set in front of the dressing table and stared.

I was beautiful! Forest green eyes that were exactly the shade of my dress, wavy gold hair that reached to my waist, and a flawlessly alabaster complexion- not to mention a perfect nose, amazing cheekbones, and full, scarlet lips. What on Earth- no, wait, this definitely wasn't earth- what the hell had happened to me? Whatever it was, it was pretty good. I was a beautiful elf-maid. What could be better?

The maid finished combing my hair and then braided the parts next to my face, fastening them together behind my head. "Now, milady, do you wish to eat breakfast in here, or in the hall with everyone else?"

"Um, in here, please." As amazing as this was, I wasn't ready to deal with more surprises. Not that that ever stopped them...

A young elf ran in and said quickly, bowing politely to me. "Your father needs to speak with you in the hall of fire, Lady Elwen. He says for you to come as quickly as you can."

The elf left just as quickly as he'd entered, and the maid frowned. "Lord Elrond must be worried if he wishes to see you before you've broken your fast. We'll go at once."

Woah. Pause, back up, run that by me again? Lord Elrond? Lord Elrond is the father of three kids. Arwen, Elladan, and Elrohir. I've read The Lord of the Rings at least ten times, and not once have I ever seen some 'Elwen' in there. Even if there was such an elf, I was not her. And being Elrond's daughter was... well, it was wrong. I didn't mind being a beautiful elf- who would? But being Elrond's daughter was screwing up the story, and that I did mind.

I had no idea what I could do about it, though.

At a loss for other ideas, I followed the elf out of the bedroom, into the pretty hallway. All the elves I passed either curtsied or bowed to me- I couldn't remember, did they do that for Arwen? I hoped she still existed and that I hadn't stolen her spot.

The maid- I'd have to find out her name at some point- opened the door to the Hall of Fire. It was everything I'd imagined it to be, the Elven architecture beyond words to describe. It was empty, except for the elf sitting at one of the fireplaces, staring contemplatively at the flames.

I bit my lip as I recognized him as the noble father of the most beautiful elf in Middle Earth, Arwen Undomiel, and two handsome, valiant sons. I'd always had a bit of a crush on Elladan- that was probably really creepy right about now. Lord Elrond Peredhil, my 'father', looked up.

"Elwen, my daughter, why do you look so mournful?"

"Why do you call me your daughter, Lord Elrond? I'm not even related to you!" I couldn't help myself- there had to be a huge, gigantic, cosmic mistake here. Maybe pointing it out would help.

Of course, he just looked aghast. "What did your journey do, that you exclaim thus? You are my eldest child, my Morning Star! Of course you are my daughter."

Eldest? Since when?

He stood and put his hand on my shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. "Sit now, my child, and tell me of your journey. I see that something happened on it that has disturbed your mind in a strange manner."

I groaned out loud this time. He was persisting in the delusion that I was his daughter, and he was asking me about a journey that I'd never taken! What on Earth- Middle Earth, really- was I supposed to do?

"My lord, you're really mistaken. I never went on a journey, and I'm certainly not your daughter." I covered my face with my hands, ignoring Elrond's attempts to pull them away.

"Elwen, your journey has obviously upset your mind. Nendilme will take you back to your room to rest- I will come to you later and attempt to devise a cure for this strange malady."

The maid- Nendilme- led me back to my room, where I collapsed on my bed, my mind working furiously. I was a Mary Sue! I'd become one of the things I most hated. I could probably sing like an Ainur and fight like Jackie Chan, Legolas, and Aragorn combined. I still didn't know if I'd replaced Arwen, and to top it all off, this was the movies- Elrond bore a suspicious resemblance to Agent Smith. I wondered morbidly who was going to fall in love with me- would it be Legolas? Or Boromir or Aragorn?

It was probably far too much to hope for Eowyn.

I was going to have to leave, but that was such a Mary Sue thing to do, running off to avoid horrible fates, or drama, or something, anyways. I tried to ignore the internal voice that had all its alarms going. ::Moral dilemma! Danger! Moral dilemma!::

Either I could stay, pretend to be Elrond's daughter, fight off the attentions of one or more amorous men, or I could run away, get hopelessly lost or captured by orcs, or eaten by wolves, but I wouldn't have messed up the story that much. Or maybe going to sleep and waking up to find out it was all a dream would work.

For now, anyways, it was definitely the best option.