Authors note: I am insane. I wrote this with my friend Freddy-May. She owns Jett, I own Fiona, some other people I don't care to go into detail about own the Harry Potter plot.
Fiona:
It's been rough. The school as cracking down hard on the students. IT was after all, almost the end of the year. The professors had to get as much learning done as possible before the final exams. Though why they didn't just keep on schedule in the first place was beyond the students.
Not only was school hard, but Jett hadn't been showing up to his lessons. It was like he had disappeared too, only Fiona knew he hadn't. She had seen him here and there, but never had the time to talk to him. there was something defiantly wrong. More than just him missing his siblings. He didn't like Rylie that much anyways. Did he?
Logan however was a different story. She knew how much eh meant to Jett. He was a role model. A father away from home. Like a best friend who was always there, and always had an answer. He was like Kittseta was to Fiona. Now both of them were gone. It was just now sinking in that Kittseta was gone. She had just been there. Just days before. And now? Where was she? Why her? Why Kittseta? Why the only person Fiona really had?
Just as she was about to burst into tears, Fiona saw something. It was Jett. He was finally up and about, but probably doing something quickly, and then once again secluding himself to the Hufflepuff dormitories. Well, thats where Fiona assumed he was whenever she couldn't find him. Where else could he be hiding? Not in the bathroom all this time...
Fiona's urge to cry for her lost friend was gone. Now she was angry. Jett hadn't even once come to her to let he know he was okay. For all he knew, she could have thought him missing too. Then what? He two best friends would be gone. Disappeared. No trace of either of them. Then how would she have felt when she saw him again?
Jett was going to get what he deserved. Sure, he was suffering, mourning, but so was Fiona. They should have been mourning together. Did Fiona not care about Logan, about Jett? He didn't have to leave her out. He shouldn't have. He should have let her in, for once...
Jett:
Jett was frustrated, in a word. There was no escape. Even his dormitory had suddenly become crowded. Sometimes there were even students from other years who came in and tried to talk to him. No one would leave him alone. He had to get out. Out, out, out. Just somewhere that was away. Away.
His entire body was aching, and he felt like he had aged twenty years in the past few months. There was no escape, from anything. He was always running, but nothing ever changed. There was no use in holding on, no use in hoping, because nothing ever changed. Nothing ever would.
There was only a tiny part of him that floated above, shaking its head in dismay at the thoughts now invading Jett's mind. It was wondering what on earth had happened to the happy, smiling Jett that had always kept going. It was wondering why he had changed. It was wondering where the real Jett Cooper had gone.
Because it wasn't really him, not anymore. The incident had replaced him with some model that had no emotion, was just barely making it through the functions of daily life. No, it wasn't even. It was ruined for that. Nothing was happening anymore. He was dead inside. And yet people didn't seem to realize this; they didn't seem to understand that there was no point talking to a corpse.
The problem was, Jett was stuck. He had nowhere to turn, no one to go to. Without a hope, without a friend, without a face to say hello to... nothing, there was nothing for him anywhere, there was nowhere to go, he was stuck, stuck in a web, a sticky spider's web. There was no way out.
There was no way out.
No one was there...
His eyes widened. There was someone. But he didn't want her. It was Fiona Badrinath.
He closed his eyes for a moment, as though she wouldn't see him. He didn't want her to see him. She was angry, he knew it. Because jett hadn't been going through normal functions anymore. Jett hadn't been going to class. And he knew perfectly well that Fiona had. There was no way she hadn't noticed his absence.
The problem was, Jett cared about Fiona. He wanted to, and he wanted her to care about him. But he couldn't let himself care about anyone, not anymore. What good had it done him before? Did it do him any good, caring about his sister and brother? Was there any point?
He couldn't let her in, lull the both of them into a false sense of security. Nothing lives forever. Nothing lives forever or stays forever and no one is happy forever. Nothing lives forever.
Nothing gold can stay.
Fiona:
He was hiding. As if he had nothing to say. As much as it hurt Fiona to know the pain he was going through, his closed-heart angered her. How could he just shove everyone out. Of all people, shouldn't Fiona have taught him that? She lost everyone she held dear the day she got her Hogwarts letter. Did she close up? No. Granted she was always a little shy, but once she got to Hogwarts itself, she made friends from day one.
You can't go on living your life alone. As independent as you may think you are. No matter what has happened in your past, you cannot live alone. If you try, you're going to endure a long, lonely, painful life. Then when you die, no one will notice. Why spend the few years you have on this earth alone? Go out there and do something, make your time here worth while.
Jett should know better. Losing two siblings. He still had two more. He still had his parents. His friends. Fiona hadn't gone anywhere, and she didn't plan on it. She was staying right here, with Jett Cooper at her side, regardless of what he wanted. She knew what he needed. What she had needed all along. They both needed it.
However, if Jett was trying to escape the conversation that was bound to happen, he was sorely mistaken. Fiona had seen him alright. The moment he caught her eye, she marched right over to him. Her hands were in fists, pulsing with the anger she felt all over.
"What have you gotten your mind to Jett Cooper? Skipping classes. Never being out of the commons. What are you playing at? You had me worried to death. You could have disappeared too for all I knew!"
Then she stopped. Her fists clenched, then opened. She rested her head in his neck as she hugged him.
Jett:
What have you gotten your mind to Jett Cooper? Skipping classes. Never being out of the commons. What are you playing at? You had me worried to death. You could have disappeared too for all I knew!
He kept his eyes closed, clenching his teeth to avoid tears. To avoid any type of emotion. Yet there they were, pricking the back of eyes. All he could do was will them not to fall. If they fell he was ruined. If they fell, so did his mask; his mask of apathy; no, not apathy, of sadness without pain. Or... he didn't know what it was. But there was something there covering everything, and if he let Fiona break him down it would be ruined. Everything would be ruined.
He was smarter now. He wasn't the child he used to be; not the naive little boy who believed in forever. Nothing gold can stay. He knew that now. There was no such thing as forever.
For a moment he only braced himself for Fiona to suddenly punch him in the face, or just walk away storming. He couldn't say anything, he just stood there with his eyes closed. And then very suddenly her arms were around his and her head was on his neck.
He wanted to push her away.
He wanted to push her away, but he wanted her to stay. Stay holding him and hugging him and reassuring him. Telling him it was alright. But he was smarter than that. he knew it wasn't safe. There's no such thing as forever. He knew that, he had to remember that. He couldn't let some little girl who didn't know the meaning of pain tell him otherwise.
Fiona knew nothing about pain. About loss. About grief, about death. She didn't understand, and Jett was not going to let a stupid hug change everything he had learned these past months. He knew he was right and Fiona was not going to change that.
Then he was lost in the moment and his heart was soaring. For once he let someone hug him and comfort him, if only for a moment. He relaxed and returned her embrace, and he spoke a single word, and that was her name. Her name, a single word, that carried so much meaning to him right now. "Fiona," he said simply. There was nothing else to say.
Fiona:
At the sound of her name, Fiona knew he knew how she felt. The way she had been feeling for some times now. Since that day on the lake. Why had he suddenly weaseled his way into her heart? He didn't ask for it. As of now, he didn't seem to want it. Even when he had no one left. He almost turned her away. She could feel him resisting when she first put her arms around him.
Fiona needed him right now. She needed Jett to tell her she was needed by him too. No one needed her. Not her family, not her friends. Hell, Kittseta sure didn't need her. It took a while, and her being faded for Fiona to realize it, but Kittseta was only in this for the glory. There was no real bond there. So she needed this. His reassurance, just as much as he needed it too. That there was someone there for him.
She didn't let go. Fiona stood there, holding on to Jett with all her strength. Nothing was going to pull her away. Not now, not yet. She needed him. "Tell me you love me. Tell me you need me. Please." Then she began to cry. Not bawling all over the place. A simple tear. it had been welling behind her eyelids since she first said his name. Jett Cooper. Making her cry. Nobody made Fiona Badrinath cry. No one.
Jett didn't even know about her family. She never told him. She never told anyone. Fiona didn't see the need. They were the past. They gave her, up so she gave up on them. They don't need her anymore. She doesn't need them. Fiona didn't cry. Not once. Until now. Here, with Jett.
Her eyes were now closed, staring into the black oblivion of her eyelids. Somehow, there was so much there. More than there would be if she opened her eyes. The only thing that could coax her into opening them, was Jett. With him in her arms, she never needed to open up. He was all she needed now. But was he going to leave her too? Be overwhelmed in his grief, and leave her to drown in her own?
Jett:
Tell me you love me. Tell me you need me. Please.
His lip began to shake, and he realized it had been a mistake to hold on. To say her name as though she cared. Now there was no turning back. He was past the point of no return.
But he couldn't say it. He couldn't attach to someone. If he got close to her, she'd disappear. Rylie and Logan were already gone. Next, he knew, was going to be Oliver and Dylan. No, he'd already lost Oliver. Oliver was a complete wreck, after everything. Dylan... god, he never saw Dylan anymore. Everything was getting lost. Everyone.
And now he would lose Fiona too.
But it wouldn't hurt him if he didn't let it. If he didn't let himself love her it wouldn't hurt when she was gone. She would be gone eventually, and he couldn't let him care about her. If he let himself love her, it would hurt when he pushed her away. And he needed to push her away. He couldn't let her have him.
"Fiona..." he said yet again, still at a loss for words. He watched her eyes closed, and they didn't open. They just stayed there... like there was nothing outside worth living for. That was how Jett felt. She should have understood. Her friend was gone. Her friend had been like a sister, she was gone. She should have understood that sometimes you just needed to escape from the world... sometimes it needed to be for forever.
"I can't." His voice was quiet, shaky, barely there. "I can't love you. I can't need you." He couldn't let himself break down, no matter how pitiful the sight of her was. It took all the strength he had not to cry and dissolve and tell him he loved her.
Fiona:
That was it. Jett didn't want her. He never did. He loved his family. Not Fiona. Yet she put her heart out on the line. She handed it to him, and he threw it at her. She knew how he was feeling. Why couldn't he just let her in? She knew the things he told himself weren't true. He loved her back, But she needed to hear it. He needed to say it.
It wasn't so hard was it? Three simple words. I love you. That's all she needed. But he wouldn't give it to her. People said these words everyday, and they meant none of it. Now when it did mean something, why was it so hard to say? Why, when she needed it most, did Fiona not get to hear those three little words?
It was happening again. Everyone she cared about was leaving her. Her family was the start. She had no one. No one to turn to. By then she couldn't talk to her friends. They were all muggles. She couldn't tell them how she felt. What had happened. Now it was Kittseta, Jett. They were leaving too. A school tragedy, and now niter of them were there. Kittseta was physically gone, but Jett was pushing her away. Begging her to break her heart. To put it out for him again, for him to mash it into pieces.
Fiona had spend months, crying in her room. Thinking of all she used to have. Everything she lost. Her friends, her family, her entire life. And now she had to focus on becoming a witch. What now? Suddenly she had these powers she couldn't explain before. She hadn't show any signs. Until then. When she was up in her room. Crying. Punching the wall. The lights flickered on and off until the power went out completely. The entire neighborhood was out of power until the electric company could come out and fix it. She had blow every wire in a 5 mile radius.
Now she felt the same way she did when she first lost her family. When the boys went away. Paris, Sheridan...they were gone. Her father. She couldn't even remember what he looked like. It had been so long. Three years. He had left before the summer was over. Taking her brothers with him. Leaving her alone completely. The same way Jett was.
Once he spoke, Fiona immediately backed away, letting go of him. He didn't need her now either. Just like Kittseta. Just like her family. She was made a fool. Again. The she just dropped. To the floor. On her knees, she sat crying. Worse than before. Now she was full on sobbing. Her hands covered her face. She couldn't look back up at him. Not now. Not like this. He didn't care anyways.
Jett:
And then she was on the floor.
And then she was sobbing, because she knew he didn't want her. She knew. And he knew he should be saying good riddance, or being happy because she wasn't going to be bothering him anymore -- no more of Fiona looking for him, waiting for him to love her.
But he couldn't bring himself to be happy about this.
The sight of her there on the ground was too much for him. He had known there was no such thing as forever. But up till now he hadn't understood never.
She would never let him back. Now that he had pushed her away, she could never let him back. He had been wrong. When he threw her heart in her face, it hadn't been something he could do with no emotion, no pain. It had torn his own heart out of his chest. There was no longer anything there, because his heart was on the floor, with Fiona's sobbing body.
Her hands were over her face. Her eyes were covered. He couldn't see inside her anymore.
But he didn't need to. He knew what was happening. He knew now, that there was such a thing as never. That he would never have Fiona. And he knew this shouldn't bother him; why should it matter, now? Why should anything matter?
He couldn't bring himself not to care.
Then he was on the floor next to her, shaking her hard. "Stop it! Stop it, stop it!" He was yelling and he knew his voice was echoing through the whole corridor. But he didn't care, it didn't matter who heard him. It didn't matter, not anymore. Nothing mattered.
In just these few moments it had changed from nothing mattering except Logan and Rylie... to nothing mattering except Fiona. Everything else had been pushed to the back of his mind, and all he could see was Fiona. He wanted her to be able to go on without him. He knew he couldn't love her... but he couldn't bring himself to hurt her.
Fiona:
No. She couldn't stop. Everything was spinning. And she couldn't stop it. She couldn't handle it any more than she could handle losing someone else. Jett. The only one she had left. Fiona put her hands over her ears. She couldn't hear it. Him telling her to stop. Soon that wouldn't be all. He would tell her to leave. To go. He would send her off into the world alone again. To start over. Again.
She couldn't take it anymore. She had to leave. She couldn't. She couldn't move, except for shaking back and fourth. She couldn't stop. Her hands were gripping onto her hair, pulling bits of it out. She sat there, thrashing around, yelling. "No! No!" She couldn't handle this. It was all happening again. All of the anger and sadness she had built up for 3 years was coming out.
Her mothers face, her fathers, her brothers. They all flashed through her mind, but somehow all she could think about was Jett. He was all she wanted. Her 'family' could wait. She could worry about them later. Now all she needed was Jett. But he was still pushing her away. He didn't want her. All the feelings she'd been harboring for him the past few weeks were coming out too.
Everything was changing. The walls were closing in. The sky was falling. The floor was dropping into an endless abyss. Fiona and Jett were falling down into a bottomless hole. They would never escape. He needed to pull her out. He needed to save her. She needed him no more than ever. Even if he had just pushed her away. She still needed him. She still loved him.
Jett:
Jett could only look on as the girl thrashed about helplessly. It was as though there was suddenly a glass wall between them, a glass wall that could not be surpassed. And yet even as she pulled out her hair and yelled like a madwoman, Jett wanted, more than anything, to surpass it.
He took a chance.
His hands touched her shoulders, firmly but gently, somehow, simultaneously. He couldn't pull away. He tried to look into her eyes, but they were shielded, and wouldn't let him in. He was somehow desperate and calm at the same time, and everything was a jumble; his mind was whirling, an endless circle of everything... so much at the same time... and he wanted it to all come down to nothingness.
And then it did. Suddenly he was still. His hands were still on her shoulders, but his mind and his body stopped moving. It was a system shutdown; reboot, reboot. Only he didn't know what would change when he finally rebooted again.
He wanted to tell her. But his mouth wouldn't move. Nor would his heart.
Fiona:
No no no no no. It couldn't happen. Jett touched her. On the shoulders. His hands were there. Touching her bare skin. He couldn't. She couldn't. No way. It was too much. Too much to handle. She had to stop. But she couldn't. She stopped. Stopped completely everything she was doing. She stopped thrashing. Stopped yelling. It was over.
No. It was just beginning.
Fiona looked him in the eyes. Moved his hand off her shoulder. Even though the feeling she got when he touched her had to leave, she knew it couldn't go on. She wanted it to. She felt safe. Like nothing could touch her, as long as she had his touch. Everything was perfect. But she couldn't. He didn't feel that way. She was falling into the trap again.
Her eyes were still lost in his. They were beautiful. Fiona wanted to wake up every morning, seeing those eyes, and no one else's. Just his. Jett's. His eyes told her one thing. He still didn't want her. He still didn't care. He was just cleaning up the mess. He was still going to leave her to rot. To cry in her bed at night. To wish she knew where he was. To watch him with the other girls. Sweeping them off their feet. Something she would never get. She would always be left alone.
There was nothing left. Fiona laid her body down on the cool floor. It was dirty but she didn't care. She needed to lie down, and she needed to be alone. Something had clicked in her mind. To leave people before they left her. Then she would never be hurt. If she never got attached, who could rip her heart out? She closed her eyes, then looked back up to Jett. The cause of so much sorrow, yet so much happiness. He was her everything. "Leave."
Jett:
She pushed him away. She lifted his hand off her shoulder and pushed him away. He should have seen it coming. What goes around, comes around. Karma. Stupid superstition, stupid truth of life. Her eyes were staring into his. She had beautiful eyes. It wasn't the way they looked. It was what they held.
But right now, they held sorrow. Pain. There was pain there. Everywhere.
And he had caused it.
Now it was his fault. Everything was his fault. It was his fault Fiona was going to cry herself to sleep for the next month. Perhaps it was arrogant to think he mattered that much to her, but the look in her eyes was enough to tell him it was true. He had taken away the one last thing she had -- him.
Leave.
Reboot, reboot. The engines started, faster and faster. This was the final blow. Fiona had told him, straight out, to leave. To just leave. To get out of her life... forever.
He couldn't do it.
As easy as it might seem, to just stand up and walk away down the corridor, back to his dorm, or anywhere, it was impossible for Jett. He couldn't move. He was stuck where he was.
"I won't," he said, and his voice was hard and firm. For once in his life he was sure about something -- even if later that night he'd mull over it and wonder. For once, now, he was strong.
"I can't leave you, Fiona, I can't let you on your own." He took a deep breath. No. He was acting as though it was her who needed him. And maybe that was true. But he had to admit the real truth -- how could he say it?
"I need you." There. The words were out. Finally. He had said it, he had said it. He had admitted that maybe, just maybe, he needed a little help. No. That had happened when he let her embrace him so tight. Now, he was announcing to the world, surefire clear. He needed Fiona Badrinath. He loved her.
But he wasn't ready for that. He was still so scared. She was going to be gone soon.
Fiona:
It was raining inside her mind. Cold. Dark. Wretched. What was wrong? Everything as wrong. Everything as over. Ending. Finished. Jett was gone, just like her family. Everything she had once known and loved had left her side. They were all doing their own thing. Living their own lives. Without Fiona.
When she least expected it, a rainbow appeared. jett. He cared. He did. Or at least he said so. As much as she wanted to, Fiona didn't believe him. Why would she? He had pushed her so far away just moments ago. Why would he suddenly change, now that she pushed back? What was in it for him? There had to be something going on behind the scenes. He didn't care. He was going to leave her alone. His words were lies. He didn't need her. Not Even little.
"I said leave."
The clouds came back. They covered up the rainbows that had once been so bright. So colorful. The lush green forest that had once been Fiona's life, was now empty. Barren. Now cold and raining. Foggy. Though one thing was clear, she was the only on in it. Despite all the uncertainty, the fear, she was alone, and she knew it. That as the one thing she had left. The one thing she knew was true.
Without picking her face up from the floor, she spoke again. "Those words are lies. You don't care." More tears fell down her face. A student walking by stopped mid step. They simply looked and wondered, then carried on their way. As usual. Not even a stranger who was watching this horrible scene cared. They simply gave up on her as well. Went on with their fun, loving, Fiona-free lives.
Jett:
Those words are lies. You don't care.
His mouth opened, gaping. She... she thought he didn't care. She thought that he had been telling the truth before... and telling a lie now. She didn't realize it was the other way around. He thought she was smarter than that. Maybe she wasn't really meant for Ravenclaw. Or maybe she was just book-smart... not real smart.
She was staring at him and there were tears on her face. He couldn't bear it. He couldn't listen to her, he couldn't leave, couldn't leave her stranded there -- alone. Alone, without him. Without anything, anyone. Someone walked by, looking for a second, and then continuing on their way. He wanted to cry.
So he did. A few tears began to fall, then more, and more and more. He tried to wipe them off, but they kept coming and coming and coming. "No! Fiona, you don't get it." Then his voice quieted, became a desperate, pitiful plea. "I'm not lying..."
She had to understand. Suddenly this was important to him. If Fiona was gone, he was going to hurt. No matter what. If he pushed her away, he was going to hurt. They both were. He couldn't let this happen, despite his recent passive attitude. He couldn't be passive anymore. This was Fiona. This was his best friend.
He had never before thought of her that way. But it was true. She was his best friend in the world. The best friend he had ever had... or ever would have.
She was more than a friend.
"I love you," he said, tears still on his face. Somehow the words came out quiet and unremarkable; yet they were there. And he knew she heard. Now all he could do was regret what he had said, and wait for her to spit it in his face, in a haunting reflection of himself.
Fiona:
No. It was Jett who didn't understand. She knew he didn't care. How could he care, and push her away. He knew her better than that. She can't be pushed away. Not again. Though he didn't know about her past, he knew how selective she was with her incrowd. Now it was time for him to know. To know what happened, not so long ago, in a place, not so far from here.
"Ich liebe Dich She used to say. I love you, like no other. My Mother used to to tell me every night stories about children who didn't have parents. People who were lost in lives that didn't matter. Then she would remind me why I was there. To make her and my father happy." A memory that was all but gone now.
Sometimes, thinking back on this, the world stopped making sense. It was like, one day a person could be one thing, and the next day, another. People changed their minds based on minor details. Became new people everyday. The world was never the same. Aloways changing. Always for the worse. Jett of all people should have known that as well. he saw everyday, how people would change. How everything you thought was yrue was suddenly no longer in place. One day you're fighting twith your younger sister over something completely trivial. The next day you want her back, and she won't come.
The only thing that was still ture, was that Jett still had a family. Oliver. Dylan. His parents. They were still there. They still loved and cared for him. He still had someone to hold on to. Fiona didn't. Alls he had was gone. And now Jett was too. He had made his choice. He left her there. Crying on the floor. There was nothign he could do or say to convince Fiona otherwise. She kenw how he truely felt.
"I used to have a family too."
Jett:
As Fiona told her story, somehow Jett felt he wasn't getting the whole thing. It didn't seem sad, yet Fiona spoke with utter sorrow and bitterness. Still, he wasn't stupid. Her mother no longer said ich liebe dich to her. Her mother no longer loved her. That much was clear.
So Fiona doubted, like he had. Doubted the eternity of love. She knew, like he did, that things didn't last for ever. Things were always changing, and changing, and changing. But Jett's system had rebooted, and he had understood. He'd been lifted back to a world of at least some hope. But now Fiona was pulling him back down to harsh reality, through simple words of a childhood memory. A memory that perhaps would be held dear, had things been different.
He couldn't let her pull him down. If she did there would be no chance for anything good, ever. If he went down again, there was no more coming up. He couldn't let this happen.
But he could let her fall.
To save himself, he would have to let her fall, watch her fall into the darkness of a world without hope of forever. A world of nevers and can'ts and impossibles. A world full of darkness, and knowing what the future held: bitterness. A bitter world, where no glass was ever half-full, no rain was ever a good thing. No rain was there to cleanse the world and the soul.
If he let her fall, he could be safe.
Something in him said to not be selfish. But there was no longer hope in him that he could pull her up with him. Either they both go... or Jett would live, and Fiona would be condemned forever to the deep world where you knew nothing was ever going to change.
I used to have a family too.
He blinked back tears. Of course. There was no one to say ich liebe dich to her now. No one, now, but Jett. But she wasn't going to let him. And he knew it was his fault. But worst of all, he knew there was no changing that.
He could come back up and continue to hope. But for some things, there was no hope. Fiona, now, was one of them. It killed him to admit this, but it killed him even more to stand up, say goodbye, and walk away without another word.
Fiona:
Jett said nothing. That wouldn't have been a big surprise normally. It was a lot to take in, and kind of sudden. Though Fiona just wasn't in an understanding mood. Everything she thought she understood got completely turned upside down. The fact that Jett had said he loved her wasn't shocking, or even heart warming anymore. She knew he was lying, Just saying things to make her feel better, so she would go away.
Then he got up and left. Not a surprise again. As much as it hurt to see him walk away from her, Fiona knew it was for the best. Though somehow she wanted him to stay. To come back and comfort her. Even if he was lying. She didn't care anymore. No one loved her anymore, and she was okay with it. For now.
"Wait."
He had to stay. Someone needed to tell Fiona she had a purpose. A reason for being at Hogwarts. For being alive. She wasn't just there for people to torture. For her parents to laugh about behind her back, and ridicule at home. For her brothers to wonder. Whatever happened to big sister? Then for Father to say "She's gone. She was a bad girl, and we don't need her anymore." and the children would listen. They were still younger. The oldest now, Paris II, would be 10 this year...
Fiona rose to her knees. Not quite to her feet yet. He could always keep going. In which case she would most likely lay back down and cry on the cold stone floor. But if he turned around... Things could be different. She could feel safe again. At least for the moment...
"I need you, Jett Cooper. I do." She spoke, quietly. Almost a whisper, but loud enough for him to hear. Tears started falling again, and she looked back down to the floor. Her hands wringing in her lap. Would he turn back, come and make her happy again? Or keep walking, and leave her forever?
Jett:
With every step he took, it was as though the ground was burning his feet, as though there were knives stabbing at his heart. But he couldn't turn back, not now. Maybe it was all for the best.
Wait.
He stopped in his tracks.
She said to wait. She said to stop leaving him. What did this mean? He had thought she wanted to be rid of him; he had thought there was no hope of saving her. But maybe there still wasn't. Maybe she was lying, maybe she was just going to hurt him, to tell him he was a liar and he was going to stay out of her life forever. Maybe he would deserve it. He had said he loved her, then walked away. He saw no reason why she wouldn't be willing to just let him go. After what he'd done...
He didn't turn around, but he didn't move either. He was back at square one, stuck again. There was nowhere to go. He would stand here forever. Until something changed. But it didn't seem like something would. The two of them were lost in separate worlds, alone and stuck.
I need you, Jett Cooper. I do.
Something changed.
He couldn't stay where he was any longer. It hurt him, it hurt him, and he knew it hurt her too. He couldn't just stand there. He turned around slowly, staring at the small girl, kneeling on the floor, crying. Crying again. He wondered why that hurt him so, to see her cry. It was just tears, just saltwater. Why did it make such a difference that this saltwater was making stains on Fiona's face? He should be indifferent about it. But he wasn't.
I need you too, he wanted to say. But maybe if he said he needed her it would seem as though he couldn't help her. And maybe he couldn't. But he could try. So he stayed silent, just looking at her.
Fiona:
Again he said nothing. This Jett Cooper was so unreadable. Moments ago he was professing that he loved Fiona too. Now he stood still in silence, his back tunred to her, as she said the same thing. But he had to come back. He had to. Fiona needed him. She needed him to be by her side. To tell her it would be alright. There was no one else to do it, and she didn't want anyone else. Not even Kittseta. Not even her mtoher.
She had to bring him back. He needed to be there. Next to her. For both their sakes. She stood. Now it was the time to make him come back. It was now or neevr. Walk a few stpes forward. Bring him back. Back to her. Or you'll lose him forever. Forever...
And so she did. Fiona took two steps forward. With her long stride, she was now face to face with the boy she loved. She looked into his eyes, and saw the same pain she had been feelign for so long. Everyone had left him too. Now he had one person left, just as she did. Then they pushed each other away. They knew they needed each toher. They didn't want to admit it. Either of them. To admit that it coudl happen again. To let it happen again. To love someone, and watch them leave. Again.
They were running around in circles. With scissors in their hands.
Fiona's legs trembled as she thought up her next move. It was risky, but if it worked, it would be amazing. It would change things forever. She knew it would. This wasn't something anyone took lightly. Especially two people who had lost everyone they held dear in a matter of moments.
"Now or never." Fiona told herself. She had to do it. If she didn't, she would have to talk, and she dind't know what to say. What was there to say? "Hi. I love you I need you, lets run away and get married!" So she did it. Her hands were on his shoulders again. She took in his smell. The smell she loved, but never knew exactly how sweet it had always been. Then her lips met his.
Jett:
She was so close to him. He could feel her, right there, just inches away from his face. She put her hands on his shoulders, and he could only stand there, looking up at her. Somehow he had never before noticed how big of a height difference there was. But now he felt small compared to her.
But when her lips touched his, these thoughts flew from his mind and he was lost in the moment. She cared. She cared, and she knew he did too. It was as though the rest of the world had disappeared, and all there was was Fiona. He let himself return the kiss, because he knew he needed to. And he wanted to. So he did...
Then he pulled away and looked up at her again. She was so beautiful... an imperfect beauty, but beauty all the same. That was what was so beautiful. She was real. She wasn't trying to look perfect. She was Fiona Badrinath, and Jett knew he didn't need anyone else. Not now.
"I meant that," he said. "When I said I loved you, I meant it..." Then he took a deep breath. Maybe this kiss didn't mean what he thought it meant. Maybe it was a one-time thing, and nothing was ever going to change, and she would keep on pushing him away, and they would never see each other again, not more than passing glances, fleeting conversations, cordial trivialities. He had to know. "Do... do you love me?"
Fiona:
It worked. Or so Fiona thought. Jett was returning the kiss. He loved her too. He wanted this. he needed her like she needed him. She looked down on him as he pulled away. He looked worried. As if something wasn't right. But everything felt right to Fiona. She was there wit Jett. They had kissed. He returned it. He kissed her back. What coupled possibly be wrong?
then he asked the question that broke so many people apart. Love. It was a tricky thing, You never knew when you were really in love, and when you were just lonely. You never knew if the person standing next to you was the one you were meant to be with forever, or if they secretly wanted to be with you.
But he had asked, and now Fiona had to answer him. Did she love him? She knew she did, she just didn't know if the time was right. Everything had been so... bittersweet. First he pushed her away. Then he loved her. Then he left her alone. Then he kissed her. Would telling Jett how she felt get Fiona what she wanted, or just lead her further down the tunnel of heartbreak?
"Yes." Then she smiled. It was the first time all day, and the first real smile since she heard of Kitts and Rylie and Logan. She hadn't had anything to smile about until now. Her lips were curled up into the biggest grin she could have ever imagined. It was bigger than any smile she'd ever had before. This moment. It was happier than she had even known before. "I do Jett. I love you, and I want to be with you forever."
Jett:
Yes.
That one word was not what made Jett's heart soar. It was the smile that came after. He hadn't seen her smile at all lately. But now she was grinning, just plain happy. And Jett smiled back. It was impossible not too. This moment was so perfect.
I do Jett. I love you, and I want to be with you forever.
So do I, he thought. Perhaps it was strange, or stupid, to say this at just thirteen, but Jett knew in his heart that he really did love her. Maybe one day she would be gone, but maybe he didn't have to think like this. There could be a forever. Because even after she was gone, he'd still have her. As sappy as it could sound, like words on a Hallmark card, he knew he'd still have her in his heart.
Forever.
Perhaps it was true, that happiness couldn't stay. But he could pull through. They could. Together. They needed each other like they needed air -- needed each other to survive. To remind each other that life was worth living.
Jett was going to stop his nonsense. He had been closed up, pushing everyone and everything away. But it didn't have to be this way anymore. He could still grieve, but he didn't have to destroy what he had been. He didn't have to destroy everything. He could move on. Fiona could help him.
And he could help her.
"I do too," he said. "Thank you... for saving me."