A/N: Here it is, Danny. I think I totally overdid it, but whatever. I had fun. I think. Anyone who isn't Danny, give this a try - it's completely random and hopefully will get better. Hehe.

Spiderdan

"Get out, kid," wheezed the bartender in a deep voice. Danny felt the balding man let go of his shirt, and found himself on the ground. It was cold and hard, but he didn't mind much. There had been worse.

Looking around, Danny saw that he was in an alley full of trash bins – though he didn't need to see, he could smell them well enough. He felt around for something, and his hand came up clutching a broken bottle; he turned it over and shook it. Three drops left little stains on his jeans, and he got to his feet slowly.

That was the third place he'd been thrown out of tonight, and Danny figured it was time to go home. There was a flickering street light in the distance, and he walked toward it, kicking a can in front of him. It was hard enough getting into these places, let alone. Then he had to convince the jumper that he was twenty-one (a hard task, but he had some serious skills), and then to convince the manager to let him take over as DJ, because the music was terrible.

Danny sighed and shook his head. Nobody had good taste in music anymore. Fall Out Boy – what kind of crap was that?

It wasn't like he was trying to seduce the bartender or anything, he just wanted people to broaden their taste in music, and no one his age was smart enough. They were all into that pop and country – ugh, and rap. Danny tried time after time to listen, but the music all sounded the same, and what little diversity there was, was the only thing that kept him from sticking his foot through the radio.

Danny was almost off the street now. He jumped when a mouse ran across his foot, then laughed at himself. Scared of a mouse… Danny wished he were a mouse. If a mouse could fly, Danny knew exactly what he'd be. Actually, anything that flew would be fine. Being airborne and having animal instincts sounded very cool.

A few other dark creatures scattered over his feet, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what they were. Danny stepped out of the alley and onto a dark sidewalk, the streetlamp having worked itself out for the night. It gave a last feeble flicker before the small street was indulged in darkness. Danny stood still for a few moments, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the dark. When he finally moved, he found that his shoes had been tied together. By a web. He took another step, assuming the web would just brake, but found himself flat on his face for the fourth time that night. He needed to find a new hobby – preferably one with carpeting.

Danny rolled over and adjusted himself into a sitting position. The web on his feet was thick, and he now realized it appeared to be blacker than if it were transparent. It wasn't like anything he could remember seeing. The weirdest part was it moved, and not like a wind-blown kind of thing. Like, creepy, eating-my-leg kind of moving. He watched the black snare crawl up his leg, interested. Only after the tangled mess reached his knee did he realize he should be concerned – if not scared out of his mind. But guys didn't do that. Especially guys like him.

Something moved behind Danny, sending shivers down his spine. Who cared about his reputation? Now was time to run. Barely man enough to glance over his shoulder, Danny got to his feet as best he could, even though he couldn't walk, he managed to hop a few feet confidently… or as confidently as one could hop with his legs bounded together.

He heard something move behind him, but by the time he turned around it was gone. Danny leaned against a brick building and tried to rip the web off. Whenever he managed to cleave any part of it off, the rope-like web regrew itself, twice as thick. Something moved on his left, a footstep echoed on his right. Danny looked up, confused.

There was nothing there, of course.

He decided his mind was playing tricks on him, and took a pocketknife out of his pocket. He began to cut through the mesh, finally breaking free and running as fast as he could in the other direction, anything to get away from that bazaar web-thing.

His mind scrambled for an explanation, but he was too freaked out to think straight. Just when Danny had finally come to the conclusion that he had imagined it all, and that he indeed had been dropped on his head too many times for a night, he ran into someone. Or something. Glancing up, it seemed like a huge, hairy, spiderish, man. Its whole body was pitch black – so black that his outline was distinct and clear compared to the surrounding darkness. Everything except its eyes. They were white, with thin, bloodred slits. The light from a row of buildings in the next street over was enough to glint off of it's fangs; they sparkled in the light, despite their dark gray color. And then it bit him.

Danny felt the hard fangs sink into his neck, piercing two deep wholes into his throat. He pushed back, hard, knocking the creature to its feet. He blinked and it had grown a few extra legs, now looking more like a huge spider. However scared Danny was, he was glad to see that a long, profound slit cut across the insect's chest – he'd still been holding his pocket knife when he'd pushed it. Smiling grimly, Danny took a step nearer to the creature, filled with a sudden urge to kill it. But when he blinked again, it was gone.

Danny could hear the faint sound of scales on stone, but looking at the walls around him saw nothing. It was then he realized his neck was throbbing. He moved his hand to the wound and his fingers came back dark, warm, and sticky. Innormally that. The blood seemed almost black, his fingers were scorching from the heat, and he could barely part them from the thickness of it. But he was sure it was his blood.

It was kind of like an instinct, or pre-knowledge. Danny somehow knew this was his, and he knew it wasn't good, whatever had just happened. The strange part was that his neck was the only place that stung. The rest of his body felt vibrant, tingly. He started walking toward the street where a few buildings were lit up, trying his best to rid his neck of whatever blood he could.

Danny caught sight of himself in the window of an old department store, and cleaned up a little, until he looked decent enough. There were two tens in his pocket, plus a few quarters.

The open places turned out to be a tobacco shop, a tiny café, a shabby-looking pub, and a 24-hour pottery shop. Having had enough bartenders for a lifetime, Danny walked into the café and ran a hand through his hair.

Two girls were talking to each other, one with dark red hair in braids, who was sitting on the counter Indian-style. The other had short, bleach-blond hair and was blowing big, pink bubbles. She was sitting on a red chair at the counter, turning it back and fourth. The redhead hopped down from the counter and put a white apron over her head when she saw Danny.

"I'll take him," she told the blonde as she pointed to a small table by the door. Danny sat down at it and picked up a menu from the center of the table.

"What kind of coffee do you have?" Danny asked, turning the menu over.

"Oh, none of it's any good. But Brianna was about to drive down to Starbucks, so if you want her to get you something…?" the waitress said. The blonde rolled her eyes and got to her feet, taking off her apron. She picked up her car keys from behind the register and paused as she walked past Danny and the redhead.

Danny took one of the tens out of his pocket and said, "A cappuccino is fine, thanks."

She nodded and looked at the other girl.

"Decaf mocha with whipped cream and caramel," said the redhead. She handed the blonde some money and they watched her leave.

After the door closed, Danny returned his gaze to the menu. He sat there, not really reading it, for a couple minutes until the redhead spoke.

"I'm Audrey. Good to meet you."

"Danny," he said, holding out his hand.

Audrey looked at his hand, and Danny thought he saw a flicker of a cringe before it disappeared so quickly he thought he'd only imagined it. Instead she sat down across from him and folded her legs, tapping on the tabletop. Danny lowered his hand and kept his eyes on the menu again. Every few seconds he dared a glance up at her – after about the tenth time she caught on and was staring back when he peeked.

"See anything appealing on there?" Audrey asked. Now she was playing with the saltshaker, passing it from hand to hand. Weird, she must have ADD or something. And after hearing her coffee order, he didn't think he could blame her.

"Not really."

"I know what you mean." Audrey nodded. Suddenly she stood up. "Danny, would you like a grilled cheese? On the house."

More out of politeness than actual desire, Danny said, "Okay."

Audrey smiled and disappeared into the kitchen.

Danny wasn't sure how long he sat there for, but his bite seemed to get both better and worse. It wasn't stinging anymore, but there was this gooey, hot feeling under it. Every now and then it would throb at the exact same moment as his pulse, and he swore he could feel a venom-like shock run throughout every vein in his body. Once it was so bad his hand flew to the bite, as if this would help. He bit his lip and flinched a little.

The strange sensation was over soon enough, but Danny didn't move his hand. He hoped the next one wouldn't be that bad. Audrey walked out of the kitchen with two plates in her hands. She put one in front of Danny and the other across from him.

"Something wrong?" Audrey asked as she sat down, eyeing Danny suspiciously.

"No. I'm fine," he said. He picked up the sandwich and took a bite. It was hot. He gasped and waved his hand, his eyes starting to water.

Audrey laughed – she must enjoy his pain.

"Hot," whined Danny, blood rushing to his cheeks. Now embarrassed, he watched Audrey take a bite… and chew it without flames erupting from her ears. Danny glared at her in awe and she smiled, victorious.

"Girls," he muttered under his breath. Audrey smiled wider and giggled a little.

"So, Danny, what brings you here at this time of night?"

"You like questions, don't you?" Danny asked, noting this.

Audrey just smiled again expectantly.

Danny sighed, "I don't know. I was at that club 'Nick's Place', he – Nick – kicked m- I mean, I left through the back."

"Nick, himself? Wow. Oh, but you left," Audrey smirked knowingly, "Isn't that a twenty-one plus club? How old are you anyway?"

Danny laughed, purposely avoiding the questions. Audrey put her hand on her forehead and laughed at herself.

"Okay, sorry. I'm done with the twenty questions thing. It's just something you pick up as a waitress – 'Can I take your order?' 'Would you like fries with that? 'Ranch or Thousand Islands?'"

"It's fine," Danny said, smiling. He took another bite of his grilled cheese – it wasn't as hot anymore. "So, what kind of music do you like?" He asked Audrey, of course.

"Um, I li –," the blonde suddenly burst back into the café, looking straight at Audrey. She ran over to the table, out Danny's money on the table in front of him, and pulled Audrey out of her seat.

"What about the coffee?" Audrey asked.

"Forget about the coffee! I need to talk to you. Like, now!" Brianna said, now practically jumping out of her shoes. She appeared to be biting her lip off aswell. Danny took that as his que to leave. He got up and pushed his chair in.

Brianna was now pulling – or, more accurately dragging - Audrey into the back, but the redhead said, "Bye, Danny! See you around." She sounded hopeful.

Danny waved and said, "Thanks for the sandwich," but Audrey was already gone. He didn't get his Starbucks, so this whole trip had been pretty much pointless. Something in the back of his mind told him it wasn't, but he was to tired to think more about that. Danny just wanted to go home and sleep.

Danny's room was quiet and still. Almost. The window was open, and a cold breeze was swooshing in and out, making the half-open door creak. Downstairs, his little brother was eating cookies under the concealment of the dark, the only light coming from the fridge, which was sitting wide open. This was a different world from the one Danny was in – one where he was reliving the night again and again, each time the man getting more and more spider-like. Until it was a spider who bit Danny. Who bit Danny, that is, before he, himself, became a spider. Until it was him who was biting people, who was scattering through the streets at night, looking for something. He needed everyone he could to help him find it… but only the strong ones. Only the worthy ones of this super, superior form. He perched on top of a warehouse, looking down the nearly deserted street. He was close, he could smell it – sense it in the air that vibrated around him. He could see it, everything – only in the back of his mind did it occur to him that he definitely had more than one eye. He wasn't him. He was the spider. The spider was him. They were each other. He pondered this, saying the same thing in as many ways that occurred to him. Time meant nothing now. All that mattered was finding it. The sun started to glare from over a dusty looking, bluish mountain in the distance. He scurried out of it's way. A single ray glinted across him, and steam poured off him, both gas and liquid.

A ray of sunshine much like the other spangled across Danny's hand, and the black, rope-like webs that had returned overnight sunk into his skin, leaving no traces.

A/N: Hmm... I think it turned out pretty serious considering it was a joke... and I was making it up as I went. Ah, well.