Lip's downward spiral
The winter months in Chicago did little to numb Philip Gallagher's mind. Although he could not avoid noticing the loss of sensation of touch in his hands and fingers, he held a cigarette through his fingerless gloves still, and lit the end as he breathed in and felt himself relax. The effects of his insomnia had been more severe since the recent past family Christmas disaster. Given his family's history of holidays in general, he was not necessarily surprised at this. what's one more added to the list? Damn miracle if a holiday passed with any member of the Gallagher family ending up fucked in some way. Part of him wished that people would stay gone once they left his life, or his family's for that matter. Monica's reappearance had triggered Ian's mania amongst other things, and Lip felt that he had the right to be irritated if only for a few days. He continued somberly down the street as he entertained his self-pitying thoughts, briefly glancing up as he passed Karen's house and then later that of Mandy Milkovich. As much as he knew he should leave the past to be, he couldn't help wonder how bad an off the cuff hook up could be at this point. No strings attached, nothing more than just another night of sex to occupy his mind from other things. He knew that it would at least be a distraction for awhile, and that thought kept him walking. But the other thing on his mind was that girls are the worst with drawing a line between love and lust. Whereas when he came past insert your name's home, it took every fiber of his being to keep walking while avoiding the frozen patches of the sidewalk. Still, he knew damn well he wasn't the strongest man when it came to facing temptations of any sort. So he brushed some snow off of his coat and made his way up to the front door.
[POV – reader]:
You hadn't been expecting a knock this late in the evening. You hadn't even been planning to be up this late, but had gotten yourself lost in the world of pointless social media, wasting time scrolling through emails and posts you knew you could care less about. So it was an understatement to say you were taken aback upon answering the door and seeing Lip standing there. His fact was red from the cold and you could tell he was being bothered by something. But as he always did, he tensed his shoulders, and looked around as he spoke.
"So, um, excuse my shit timing, but could you find it in your heart to let a guy warm his hands indoors for a sec?"
You blinked, trying to push away the immediate rising thoughts of anger and frustration. He knew you were a sucker for helping people, even exes with whom you had a bad track record were no exception. You reached up and tucked your hair behind your ear, rolling your eyes as you pulled the door open and motioned for him to step inside. He wasn't worth a verbal response, and you knew the reason he was here. Why else would he care enough to stop by at 3 in the morning?
You stepped aside as he walked in, brushing the snow off his shoes on the entry mat.
"Damn, this place hasn't changed, eh?" he looked around, avoiding eye contact. "Hey, thanks, I uh, know that this must be the last thing you saw happening today… er, the last person you ever wanted to see at your house again."
You blinked unempathetically,
"And why is it that your here?" you asked in a brittle tone, though you knew full well what to be expected of the boy who couldn't control himself whatsoever. "Entertain me although I can guarantee you I already know the answer."
"Hey I know you're pissed, and frankly I don't blame you. But are you really gonna give me shit when I just wanted to get out of the goddamn cold?" he answered in his ever bravado tone, removing his coat and tossing it to the side as he closed the door behind him.
"I let you inside, didn't I?" you said, eyeing the cigarette in his mouth, which he tossed after making eye contact and seeing the look of disapproval.
"I thought you quit?" you observed, arms crossed against the lingering cold breeze in the entryway.
"Yeah, and I thought my house could manage one holiday without anyone sustaining residual damage, but when you lived in a family as fucked up as mine, it's annoying to think I even still entertain thoughts that unrealistic."
You didn't have to say anything else to know that he'd been on more than just tobacco this evening. He had removed his gloves and was rubbing his hands together frantically, staring at the ground at this point.
"Damn, wanna soften those daggers a sec?" he mumbled, looking up at you, but his tone just made you want to push him back outside into the snow.
"Look, I thought we agreed since the last time we spoke that we were entirely done with each other. Obviously, the relationship was way different in my head than it was in yours…" you found yourself tapping your foot absentmindedly.
"I'm just wondering what gave you the nerve to show up here, especially in the middle of the night, like you can still do that to me? God, you really don't understand boundaries, do you? I thought we could keep it civil between us, but I guess that's not fucking possible with you, huh?" you knew you were yelling at this point, and saw from his raised brow that he knew he shouldn't say anything back. He barely had time to think of responding when he'd open his mouth at all. You proved further you wouldn't hear any more of his bullshit by pushing the door shut behind him, placing a hand on one hip.
"Listen, I know you've fucked your way around this neighborhood and beyond, and I don't know what the hell got into me to convince myself that I'd be any different." You watched his face fall again as he held his tongue, and then you continued.
"But listen, I'm done being here to pick up the pieces when you fall apart every time you decide to self-sabotage… Honestly, its time you grew the fuck up and moved on." Because you knew damn you hadn't spent all the time you did to get over him just to throw it all away.
[POV – Lip]:
It's not like he expected her to understand, but he couldn't sit there and respectfully hear her out when he was obviously being misread.
"Okay, just because you're the one I came to after this particular fiasco doesn't mean you're on some kind of pedestal in my mind." He furrowed his brow, meeting her equally pissed expression.
"Who are you to talk like you're above me when you're still weak enough to let me back into your home? After all the shit you gave me the last time we talked…" He knew he was treading on thin ice considering she could at any point tell him to leave. "I can't say that I'm surprised, though." He knew he'd hit home with one of his comments when he saw her expression change. Yet she would continue to try to hide the fact that she could still be stung by his words. He didn't buy it.
"You're trying to push me aside and avoid conflict, but I can still read you like a fucking book, you know that insert name he scoffed, gesturing at you.
[POV – reader]:
"Don't give yourself that much credit." You found yourself stepping towards him with your voice raised, almost stepping on his toes with your bare feet, still shivering in the pajamas you had on.
"Just because you can't respect my wish to have some space after you tossed me aside like a piece of shit doesn't mean you can have the pleasure of making me feel bad for it."
Even without words he managed to cast a look on you in the most condescending way, turning his face from you. You began to raise your hand to smack the arrogance from his expression.
[POV – Lip]:
But even though she was tugging at his last nerve in the incessant manner she always had, something about the attitude that sparked inside of her motivated by her anger towards him made him look back just before her hand made contact with his skin.
He caught her hand mid-air and huffed pompously,
"Damn…" his eyes did a quick once over of your pajamas and no-sock ensemble, and he turned insert name as he simultaneously pushed his body closer, pinning you to the wall,
"You know it's really fucking annoying when I can't tell whether I'm more pissed at you or turned on?"
You looked up and met his gaze, equally as confused by the feelings that were surging through you.
[POV – reader]:
You could smell the liquor and tobacco on his hot breath, but as infuriated as you were, something within you stirred and you hated yourself for feeling the smallest bit turned on by it. You gritted your teeth and responded firmly as you could.
"I told you, if you want a god damn self-sympathy fuck you can get out over to Karen or Mandy Milkovich's house," you tried to say it sternly but felt your breath trembling and making your words shake as you spoke.
A coy grin turned up on the corner of his mouth and he could tell he had you in his hands at this point.
"Yeah? But who's place did I actually fucking stop by?" he cocked his eyebrow up and lavished in the fact that you couldn't manage a proper response.
It seemed that as soon as you'd spoken to him his hands had already found their way to your body, and you threw aside the other snarky comments you were holding in as the familiarity of months of nonsense from before came back.
You turned your head to the side as he aggressively kissed the side of your face down your neck, and watched you shiver under the cold contact of his body as it met the warmth of yours.
You sucked in a breath as his hand rushed under your top, gliding over your braless chest and calling your nipples to attention beneath his frost-bitten hands. You bit your lip and hated yourself for still having that inability to resist his touch.
All of that time spent getting over him, all the self-talks of "you're better than that," and the shit you gave yourself to be strong and not take it anymore.
All gone in a split second.
You shivered and gasped as he reached your collarbone with his lips and tongue, circling your breasts smoothly with his fingers, "L-lip – fuck…" you decided if this was going to be the rest of your night you weren't going to lay unresponsive in his grasp.
You locked your hands behind his neck and held him captive as he continued with his lips pressed to your neck, his fingers wasting no time undoing your shirt buttons.
"Ah…" you pulled on the collar of his shirt unsuccessfully before he released his hold long enough to slide it off over top of his head. He cast it aside to the ground.
In the momentary pause, you glanced at the triangle tattoo still on the right side of his chest. you make it a point to remove your own pajama bottoms next, making sure to show him the identical tattoo that you still wore on your lower hip.
"You didn't get it removed?" he asked softly, remembering the threats you'd given him months before when everything was still okay between you.
But you just laughed, amused that he honestly thought you'd have the means to do that when you didn't have the means to even get a properly done tattoo in the first place.
"Don't just stand there." You responded, kicking the bottoms aside.
[POV – Lip]:
He took the challenge, feeling the lust burn within him as he pulled insert name close again, feeling her warm skin against his still-cold body.
"You're suck a fucking tease." He let insert name pull him a few doors down to her room and did not hesitate being pulled onto her as always unmade bed.
But he didn't say this without it having the most conviction possible attached.
He pulled insert name down with him as she pushed him onto his back on her bed. The dim lights of the room instantly elevated the situation that was escalating behind her closed bedroom door.
[POV – reader]:
"Must be why you keep coming back." You said, meaning the words as much as you thought you meant it when you told yourself you were over Lip Gallagher.
He pulled you down suddenly, kissing you and making it feel as if no time had passed in the last six months you'd spent apart from him. His tongue was reclaiming its original home after being gone for far too long.
His hands traveled down your body, following the slim curve of your waist and hips. You felt his slender fingers find their way under the hem of your panties, sliding them off with ease as he then undid his own pants. As your way of helping, you responded by removing the rest of his clothing equally as swiftly.
He sat up stiffly, holding you on his lap, your naked bodies against each other as seamless as ever. As he held your hips, your legs inched apart over his lap and found the heat you'd been craving too much for you to not realize until now.
You leaned your head back as you rocked against him, feeling his passion at your core and his lips around your nipples again. You breathed and responded wordlessly, feeling nothing but your heartbeat and his breath all over you.
You felt the intensity elevate as your motion did, and he swore under his breath repeatedly, which only turned you on even more.
"God…damn…"
He effortlessly turned you over onto your back as he thrusted more. You reached above your head and gripped the headboard of the bed as he found his rhythm once more. He kept it going this way until you felt that you were going to burst at the seams, if not at the same time then before he did.
[POV – Lip]:
Having lost all inhibitions at this point, he pushed into insert name deeper and couldn't believe he suffered this long without touching her. As he felt himself release, he heard her labored breaths and let himself relax for a moment. He sat up as he collected himself and glanced down at her.
God, she was so fucking beautiful. He almost scolded himself for being such a dick, but he felt that at this point they were pretty much even. He couldn't tell if her face was reflecting tears or sweat, but her chest was heaving less, and so he crouched down, once again on top of her.
"Well… they do say the best part of fighting is the make-up sex." He whispered warmly against her face and neck.
She shivered in response, and he took it as his cue to repay her the favor she'd just bestowed upon him.
[POV – reader]:
You never thought you'd have the chance to feel his raw passion again, so even less were you expecting the thing which made you so susceptible to his charms.
His. Mouth.
As you lay there and felt his teasing words tickle your ear, you became increasingly aware as he descended your torso and left a trail of softer kisses than before on his way down. He took his time, leaving the kisses at various points.
Your chest. your nipples. your ribs. The skin above your navel.
Your eyes fluttered open as he continued the descent. You still failed to understand how the same mouth that held such power could be so gentle the next second. The lower he got, the more sensitive the skin. And he knew that. You were damn sure he hadn't let that fact slip his mind.
His strong hands wove down your exposed body, creating something like electricity from the contact.
Talk about a spark.
Once down to your legs he rubbed them rhythmically over the skin of your thighs, easing them apart once again.
When his mouth greeted the skin in between, you felt the spark ignite through your entire body.
You began to care less that this session hadn't started with your tongue on his member, and more felt yourself melting away as his tongue teased your entire crotch.
You let a moan slip as he began moving his head, somehow reaching places you forgot could produce such a sensation in you.
Fighting was futile, but you weren't upset about it.
At least that's what you told yourself as you felt yourself slip away.
Your breath began to pick up the pace, and you stretched your hand to his head, tangling your fingers in his mess of hair and pulling with every sweep of his tongue.
[POV – Lip]:
And how could he not take advantage of the one weakness he knew he could exploit?
If there was one thing he knew damn well no one could tell him otherwise about, it was that Lip Gallagher could please a woman in bed. That was one thing that couldn't be taken from him.
No matter how many shitty family gatherings he had to endure, no matter how many people in his life shit on him when it pleased them.
He decided this night wouldn't be one of those. He was going to channel all of the negative energy into something useful.
The first few alcohol-fueled hours might have been spent walking aimlessly around the block, but now he was commanding a woman with his tongue.
He felt her body tense beneath him as she moaned and made other receptive noises in response. The hair pulling was encouragement for him to go further, and harder if anything.
He occasionally heard her utter a phrase of protest.
Well, more like attempt to.
That is until they'd been reduced to moans and gasps of pleasure.
He went relentlessly now, knowing that she was about to peak.
[POV – reader]:
You could feel yourself unravel and let go even more than you thought possible.
You didn't have any room to feel upset about it, all consumed and under his control.
You could barely respond as it was, between moans and trying to hold back other noises you weren't even aware were coming from you.
Biting your tongue only did so much.
You felt the wave of pure ecstasy resonate through your body from your base. You panted heavily as you felt it build for what felt like an eternity until
You. Spilled. Over.
A noise escaped you at this point that sounded pathetic in your mind
But you felt fucking relieved and in a state of complete bliss
[POV – Lip]:
He smiled contentedly, feeling insert name release herself and relaxing after the fact.
He trailed his tongue along her one last time before lifting himself up and moving up beside her.
"That's my girl." He draped his hand down her face, re-tucking the hair behind her ear so he could look at her face.
Utter peace.
That was a sight he was happy with.
"Hey listen… think we could start again with our… time apart?"
He propped himself up on his elbow after pulling the blanket from across the bed over the two of you.
[POV – reader]:
You stopped trying to understand the feelings in your head and your heart.
Whatever the tears on your face had been from, you didn't notice until you felt his hand brush it away halfway down your cheek.
You let out an exasperated breath, which ended up being longer than you thought.
His arm snaked around your waist.
You decided not to respond
To just exist in this moment, when nothing made sense still.
You knew damn well you couldn't begin to fix this boy, and he wasn't good for you either.
But somehow in your mind you felt okay, and in his arms you felt safe and content and you didn't want that to change.
Even if it was only for a night.