Author's Note: What's up, everyone? :D I know it's been a WHILE since I've written for Degrassi, but I'm starting something new! It's called "Ashley's FanFic Explosion!" Don't know what that is? It's when I write two one-shots, for FOUR different fandoms! The fandoms will be Degrassi, Hunger Games, Twilight, and Harry Potter. I will be doing this every three months, and the dates will consist of March 30th, June 30th, September 30th, and December 30th of this year! So, mark your calendars for the explosion. ;)
Maya stared at the unopened letter from Campbell. It was his last words; his suicide note. Oddly, it was only addressed to Maya.
After searching the greenhouse up and down, they finally found a letter. Maya's hands began to tremble, as she reached for the letter that sat on the dining room table. Katie smoothed her hand down Maya's back, making sure that she knew that she was there for her.
"You can do this, Maya," Katie encouraged. Maya nodded and took a well needed breath, holding the note in her small hands. She slowly lifted the flap, pulling the parchment out of the envelope. Finally, she'd have the answers. She would be able to understand why Campbell did what he did.
With caution, she unfolded the note.
Dear Maya,
I'm sorry.
There's probably no way that I'll be able to justify what I'm about to do. I know you won't understand, and I know you'll be mad. I just don't want you to blame yourself. There's nothing that you could do... nothing that anyone could do. I mean, if anything was keeping me alive, it was you. You were the only reason why I actually managed to smile. It's just... there's only so much I can take. I'm so sick and tired of feeling the way that I do. I know I'm not right for you, and I know that you don't deserve to be burdened by me. I'm sorry that I couldn't be a better boyfriend. And I'm sorry that I couldn't be a better person.
I love you.
Goodbye, Maya.
From, Cheesy.
Maya didn't even realize that a tear was streaming down her cheek, until Katie reached over and wiped it away.
"Maya?" she whispered. Maya shook her head and crumpled up the note. She tossed it to the floor, sniffing. As she stood to leave, Katie grabbed her arm.
"Wait!" she called.
"No!" Maya screamed, pulling her arm back.
"Don't you want to talk about this?" Katie argued.
"No. Campbell made his decision. He's gone, and talking isn't going to bring him back," she retorted, storming away from her sister.
Once she was in the privacy of her own room, she locked the door. She allowed herself to break down, sliding down the door. Images of her and Campbell flooded through her mind, making her dwell on the beautiful moments that they shared. She thought about their time in the photo booth, when he opened up to her. She even thought about the charm bracelet that he got for her, and his promise to buy her a new one at each show that she played. She realized that he wouldn't be able to keep that promise anymore.
She couldn't believe that her boyfriend was capable of suicide. She knew that he was going through a rough time, but she never would have guessed that it was to that point.
If there was anything that she could have done, then she would have done it.
Weakly, she rose to her feet. She walked over to her desk, and grabbed her notepad. She dug in her drawer and searched around for pen. Once she found one, she headed over to her bed, and took a seat.
She didn't know how she would start off her letter to Campbell, so she allowed her mind to do the talking.
Dear Cam,
It doesn't feel real.
Everyone around me is mourning your loss, confused as to why I'm not sobbing every time I hear your name. It's not that I didn't love you, or whatever the heck they're saying about me. It's because I can't find it in my heart to believe that you're really... gone. I can't process the fact that I'll never be able to see your face again.
Why did you do this to me? More importantly, to us? Everything was going so good... at least, that's what I thought. I've never felt happier than when I was with you...
You were right when you said that I wouldn't understand. I'll never understand what could make you do that. Did you even think about how everyone else would feel once they found out? Me? Your family? Your friends? Or were you the only thing that was running through your mind at the time?
I'm so mad at you... but I love you so much. It's so hard for me to write this, even though I know it's no use. It's not like you're even going to read it. But... I just can't seem to stop writing.
You apologized for not being a better boyfriend, when I'm the one who should be saying sorry for not being a better girlfriend. You were always there when I needed you, and I regret not being there when you desperately needed me.
Once again, I love you, Campbell Saunders. I'll probably never stop, as cheesy as that sounds.
R.I.P
Love, Maya.
Maya ripped the note from her journal, and folded it neatly. She made a vow to leave it on his grave the following day. She rarely ever visited, but now felt like the perfect time.
"I wish you were here," she whispered, placing a kiss to the folded note. She wiped away a tear that managed to escape from her eyes. She laid the note on her bedside table, running her fingers down the side of it.
She heard a knock from the door, and knew that it would be Katie. She was thankful to have a sister who cared about her so much. She walked over and unlocked the door, smiling weakly at Katie.
"How are you feeling, little one?" she asked softly.
"I'm better," Maya responded, sniffing.
"I managed to revive this. Thought that you'd might want to keep his last words to you," Katie said, handing the wrinkled letter to Maya. Maya stared at it for a second before nodding, and taking it in her hands.
Katie pulled her little sister into a hug, and held her close. She allowed her to let out her emotions, reminding her that she would always be by her side.
"Thank you," Maya said, pulling her head back to stare at her. Katie smiled and pressed her lips against Maya's cheek, nodding reassuringly.
With Katie being there to support her, Maya felt that she would be able to get through anything– even something as heartbreaking as this.
Author's Note: A little sad, I bet. /: Leave me a review and let me know what you thought. :)