Authors Note: Originally, they all had proper email addresses but for some reason, this site wouldn't post them so hopefully this will work and we'll just have to assume that they are on some sort of internal server. Anyway enjoy.
From: James Hathaway
To: Jean Innocent
Cc: Robbie Lewis
Subject: Expenses!
21.30pm 14/03/09
Name : James Hathaway
Rank: Detective Sergeant (CID)
Station: Oxford
Police Force: Thames Valley Police
Amount of Claim: £65.00 only.
Nature Of Claim: 1 Suit
Reasons and Rationale.
Well you see, during the recent case involving the members of the band, Midnight Addiction, I had course to dive into a sewage infested lake in order to save the life of a man who had been drugged and pushed in. There was considerable danger to myself and the said man as there were spinning metal blades in the centre of the pond that were designed to dispose of unwanted rubbish. I did this without thought for my own safety in the course of my duty as a police officer as I'm sure Detective Inspector Robert Lewis will testify. Unfortunately this meant that my suit was damaged beyond repair. As this event occurred during the hours of my job,(I don't tend to jump into dangerous situations like that outside of work hours) I feel I am entitled to make a claim for the monetary value required to replace this item of clothing. If the department feels this is an unfair claim, I would ask that you try to get the money from Mr Vernon Oxe's estate since he is the one that gave me the reason to jump in.
Detective Sgt. James Hathaway
From: Robbie Lewis
To: James Hathaway
Subject: Re:Expenses!
21.55pm 14/03/09
You're never going to get away with this James. If there's one thing Innocent cares more about than the press' view of the station...it's the budget. Also, you could try being less, well facetious, it might go down better.
Also what makes you think I'll back you up eh?
From: James Hathaway
To: Robbie Lewis
Subject: Re:Expenses!
21.58pm 14/03/09
I wasn't being facetious! I'm telling it like it is sir. In the course of duty, I ruined my suit. That cost me £65.
Of course you will sir. You hate all the red tape and bureaucracy the same as I do.
From: Robbie Lewis
To: James Hathaway
Subject: Re:Expenses!
22.07pm 14/03/09
S'not how Innocent will see it James. Where did you get this suit anyway? Harrods? Either that or you've been fleeced.
Why do I get the feeling you didn't need to use the spell check for that last bit? Alright Sergeant, if push comes to shove, I'll do my best to help you out. I expect this to be repaid in yeast and hops though.
From: Jean Innocent
To: James Hathaway
Cc: Robbie Lewis
Subject: Re:Expenses!
09.48am 15/03/09
Claim Denied. Grounds – Free will.
You didn't have to dive in James. You actively chose to jump in and save Franco. You didn't have regard for your own safety and so you logically had no regard for your suit either. So I am not giving you £65 of the currency of the realm, to replace something that you didn't seem to be worried about in the first place. Added to that, its come to light that you shouted at that Mr Oxe. And I quote "You're in prison for the rest of your life Oxe. But before you do, you're going to buy me a new bloody suit". Threatening behaviour Hathaway? You could be facing disciplinary charges.
From: Robbie Lewis
To: Jean Innocent
Subject: Re:Expenses!
09.52am 15/03/09
That is a bit strong Ma'am. If he hadn't jumped in, Franco would have died. You'd have had him for that as well.
And Threatening behaviour? It was hard for him to look threatening when he was stood there, sopping wet and covered in...well sewage ma'am. How'd you here about that anyway? You can't be serious about disciplinary action surely, he saved a man's life after all!
From: Jean Innocent
To: Robbie Lewis
Subject: Re:Expenses!
10.13am 15/03/09
Of course I'm not serious Robbie. I just want to knock some respect into into the boy. Since working for you, well he's become a lot more insubordinate. And its something that'll need to be drummed out of him.
From: Robbie Lewis
To: Jean Innocent
Subject: Re:Expenses!
10.25am 15/03/09
I take offence to that ma'am. I don't think threatening him with charges is going to work anyway. How's he going to feel if he saves a man's life and get disciplined for it? Anyway, a little cheek never hurt anyone.
From: James Hathaway
To: Jean Innocent
Cc: Robbie Lewis
Subject: Re:Expenses!
10.26am 15/03/09
Am I to understand Ma'am, that I am to be disciplined for saving a man's life? This is, to say the least, unfair.
Also I fail to see how you would have a case against me. The man I "threatened" is dead so he's hardly going to complain is he. The other witnesses were choking on the ground or is currently a murder suspect. And that only leaves Ins. Lewis who could be biased so easily that the board will throw the case out. Anyway all I did was ask the man to repay me for the suit that he ruined. That seems fair enough to me.
From: Robbie Lewis
To: Jean Innocent
Subject: Re:Expenses!
10.28am 15/03/09
Hahahaha! He's got you ma'am. They don't call him the boy wonder for nothing. I'd just give up now, while you've sill got a leg to stand on.
From: Jean Innocent
To: James Hathaway
Cc: Robbie Lewis
Subject: Re:Expenses!
10.55am 15/03/09
Very well James, you win. Well, half anyway. I am prepared to give you back £30 of the £65 you have put in a claim for. This is the bests its going to get so don't try for more. It seems your inspector has some sort of mad idea that I'm treating you harshly and to be quite frank I cannot be bothered to tangle with both of you. Last time that happened I had the mother of all migraines. I want no more spoken on the matter. And that James, includes smug looks. Don't give me any of that gubbins about the shape of your face either, otherwise you will find yourself on a insubordination charge that even Lewis won't be able to get you out of.
Now both of you...go and find a case to work on before you drive me mad!
From: James Hathway
To: Jean Innocent
Cc: Robbie Lewis
Subject: Re:Expenses!
10.57am 15/03/09
Thank you Ma'am. I am very grateful for your time...and patience.
From: James Hathaway
To: Robbie Lewis
Subject: Re:Expenses
10.57am 15/03/09
Sir, since £30 pounds won't replace my suit, how do you fancy going to the pub later?
From: Robbie Lewis
To: James Hathaway
Subject: Re:Expenses!
10.58am 15/03/09
Thought you'd never ask!