By my Side
I stood alone on the platform, the gentle downpour soaking me through to the bone. A warm stream of tears ran down my face as I nearly crush my phone with a tight grip. The simple text on the screen renewed my anger and sorrow
You have no messages' it read. Of course the bitch didn't call or text to apologise. No, she wasn't feeling guilty or remorseful at all. She probably went back to fucking like I hadn't caught her; like the fucking whore she is
Sure, I'll admit I'm not the best person. I'm an egotistical ass at times, but at least I try. I adored her, tried to make her happy, and she cheats on me. If I didn't still care for her, I'd probably tell the world how much of a slut Brittany Miller is.
"Next train arrives in fifteen minutes" An automated voice told me
Fifteen minutes seems like an eternity to wait.
"Brrrrrrrrring" My phone rings loudly
I contemplated whether or not to answer it. Maybe it's Brittany calling to say she's sorry and beg me to come home to her, as if we could work it out.
"Brrrrrrrrrrring" The cell phone cries out again
I press the green flashing button to accept the call, placing the object to my ear with a heavy breath. A part of me screamed to hang up but another hoped secretly that it was Brittany
"Hello" I answer with a hoarse voice, my tears still fresh
"Alvin?! Where the hell are you?! Brittany said you ran out on her?!" My brother's voice called back to me
I felt anger rise in my chest. The fucking bitch didn't tell him fuck all about what's going on. However, I felt guilty for worrying Simon, and probably Theodore if he's there. Most likely he's doing a book signing at the moment or doing a cooking show
"I'm at the train station, I'm leaving Simon" I quietly told him
"Like hell you are! I'm coming to get you" Simon yelled before abruptly hanging up the phone.
I knew that Simon wouldn't make it in time, not unless he broke some serious road rules. I guessed I'd find out soon enough. If Simon did make it, I knew it meant at least somebody cared
"The next train arrives in ten minutes" The automated voice announced again
Time felt as if it were slowing down; the cold rain numbing my body. I was biting back bitter tears. Why did she have to do this to me? Why is she so selfish?
These questions tormented my mind for what seemed like hours.
"The next train arrives in five minutes" The automated voice woke me from my self-loathing
I grabbed my bags, ready to step on the train that whisk me away from the pain. A voice called out to me, making me snap my back in wonder. I saw a blue clad munk sprinting towards me, clearly out of breath
"I had to…. break several…. laws to get here" Simon panted out between breaths "And I'm doubled parked"
I had a feeling he would make it, he always did. Simon at least cared enough to try. A painful thought that broke the dam of emotions welling up inside me. The straw that broke the camel's back
I broke down into painful sobs, dropping to my knees. I couldn't take the pain any longer, it keeps piling on like a never ending dung heap. I could tell that my breakdown was hurting Simon, it showed in his eyes.
"Alvin, what happened?" He asked, kneeling down to my level
"I…I came home for soccer practise, it had been cancelled due to rain. I was putting my soccer gear away when I heard a noise from Brittany's room. When I went to check it out I found her in bed … with some guy I couldn't see his face. I screamed at her for a good ten minutes before packing my bags and running out" I explained through a mess of tear and snot
"I'm so sorry Alvin. I can't believe she'd hurt you like that, that fucking cunt" I was shocked, Simon never cursed. He believed cursing to be the language of the ignorant
"Yeah, I just don't know what to do now" I looked up at him with teary eyes
"We find some bar and get plastered, that's my suggestion" Simon said, he always found a way to cheer me up, even if it's only in the slightest
"You got your fake id ready Si" I asked, receiving a cheeky grin in response
We managed to find a dive bar that didn't ask too many questions; a place called The Last Round. It was actually quite quiet in there, the two of us could drink in peace. I knew that Simon would always stand by my side
It was funny you know; the fact that Simon, the logical one of the family, could drink like a fish. He could match me shot for shot, hell he drank several other bar patrons under the table. Even the Irishman that was sitting in the corner, McCloud I think his name was.
We drank through the night, forgetting our woes. The night became hazy and distorted. I didn't care though, it meant that I didn't have to think about my bitch of an ex
Life was good for a few hours
The next morning hit me like a freight train. The sunlight filtering through heavy curtains roused me from my sleep. I was greeted with the mother of all hangovers; my stomach felt like it was going topsy-turvey.
But what startled me the most was the presence of a person next to me. A part of me hoped that it was just some random bar skank that I picked up. Then again, the bar was filled with mostly guys, not that I'm against a fling with a guy. All the same to me
As my memory slowly drifted back, I was met with a horrible realisation. I could replay every moan, the feeling of every thrust that I made. The clear image of Simon's cerulean eyes staring back at me his gaze clouded by alcohol and pleasure.
I could still taste his sweet lips against mine, my ears graced by his voice calling my name and begging me for more. I was both horrified and excited by the thought that I had indeed fucked my own brother. I had committed a great taboo
I looked down at Simon as he lay next to me, clad in nothing but my red sweater. He looked adorable in it.
I quickly shook that image from my mind, trying to mentally prepare for the awkward conversation to come. We were both drunk granted but still it shouldn't have of happened
But why didn't I regret it happening?
The more I thought about it, the more I realised that I'm glad it happened.
"Ugh, Note to self. Lay off drinking for the next millennium" Simon said as he woke up, clearly feeling his own hangover
"Si… We need to talk" I said, my voice quiet for both our sakes
Simon let out a sigh, he was must have also been dreading this conversation
"We can forget this happened Alvin, try and avoid each other if you want" Simon said, fiddling with the hem of his shirt
"No, I won't forget it" I stated seriously
I could see Simon visibly flinch at my words, his fur standing on edge
"Alvin…Please, just forget it" Simon was clearly nervous
"Simon. We had sex, it was great from what I remember and I don't regret it happening" I said, nervously rubbing the back of my head
My words shocked Simon into silence, the tension hanging thick in the air. I dreaded that I had alienated my brother, It made me sick to my stomach but I couldn't falter now
"I'm glad about that Alvin, I was hoping that we wouldn't drift apart because of a drunken accident" Simon said with a chuckle
"Thank you Simon, for everything. For putting up with me for years, for helping me through my heartbreak, for not turning your back on me like Brittany had" I tried not to let my emotions escape, in fear that I might cry
"I love you Al, as a brother and as something more" Simon said as he hugged me
I couldn't hold my tears back any longer, his words hit me hard. I returned the hug, burying my face into his shoulder. I could feel the sweater becoming soaked with tears but I didn't care one bit. I knew for once that I was truly happy. My brother had stuck by me through thick and thin and still loved me. As his brother and now his lover.
Despite my brain screaming objections, my heart spoke for me.
"I love you too Simon"
As I spoke, a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I truly did love Simon, with all my heart and soul