Blinded by Darkness
Suzaku didn't know who he was anymore. A Knight of the Round? Pilot of Lancelot? White Knight? Son of a dead minster? Murder? Avenger? Hero?…Friend?…
'Traitor,' his conscious answered.
"Ne, Suzaku?"
He wondered what he did in his past life to deserve this. This life of sorrow, suffering, and the need of justice of misdeeds. All he was doing was following a path that he thought would help bring peace to the world.
'And look what that path had led you to do,' it responded back, pinning his heard against the chopping board.
"Ne, Suzaku? Look at the sunflowers."
He palmed his hands over his ears to ignore the hated and once beloved voice he cherished in long past. Suzaku had no desire to remember those days where three children had wondered through that blossoming field of gold… cheerfulfunwarmthlaughterwondermentcherishingfriendshiploved… Those days he burned away the moment he murdered his own father to protect the peace (not that it helped any).
But as much as he wanted to forget, those very memories kept playing to the forefront making his heart long for those simpler days when they didn't understand. Just running around and playing like children.
He remembered those times of oblivious innocence.
Suzaku remembered of days when he carried Nunnally around while Lelouch followed closely behind panting; Them climbing hills to view the sunflower fields above; sleeping under a shade together like lazying cats.
And he remembered the utter horror that depicted on the discarded princes face when seeing the Britannian army ships flying above the completely ruined fields covered in fire and corpses. The oath that he had declared when they had run. Loneliness when loosing each other on the field of battle.
He remembered the joy of finding each other again at school. The times of jokes, banters, and events that passed. Friendships rekindled to a brighter flame that warmed him.
"I'm thirsty, please get me water, Suzaku," despite pretending that he couldn't hear, he unconsciously picked himself off the floor to pour a glass of water and handed it over.
When his hands touched the other, his mind blanketed in red. Memories of the death of the would-be-beloved queen, killed by the man he trusted, hidden behind the black mask of Zero. Betrayed in seeing the man who would want war and battles gone, creating more chaos. Destroying lives of innocence and cherished ones; Families, friends and enemies alike dying, turning the streets red.
Without even realizing it, his hands were already around the slender neck squeezing the one he thought he considered a friend. The one he thought he would be loyal to till the very end. The betrayer of his ideals and hope.
The anger and rage battered at him as he squeezed harder. He wanted to kill this man. He wanted to kill this man who he believed to start all of this chaos. The monster who wanted battles instead of peace.
'Kill him! Kill him! I have to kill him!'
What he expected was the insanity of a madman to shine behind those purple irises.
What he got instead was not.
Lelouch's lips curled to a smirk, giving out a small laugh despite the lack of air left in him, said those words that brought him out of his rage.
"… Kill me, Suzaku…"
No… it wasn't just the words he realized as he stared wide eyed as he carefully studied the purple eyes staring back at him. Purple eyes that had that cursed Geass looking right at him; gleaming in pleading, sorrowful tears.
He quickly let go, retreating a few steps back in surprise as the other coughed to recover his air.
He knew what happened, or what would have happened. Suzaku knew what Lelouch was trying to do. He knew what type of Geass that Lelouch had possessed and what it's limitations were. And knowing all of that made bile build in the back of his throat at realizing what was to occur if he hadn't been ordered before.
'He wanted you to kill him,' the voice in his head said sending guilt and regret fill him.
Why did he think this way? When did he believe Lelouch as his enemy? After Euphemia's death? Or before he had even realized who Zero was? How could he betray his friend by giving him to the father who had thrown him away?
He knew Lelouch and why he reacts to specific events. The kindhearted prince who loved people regardless of being Japanese or Britannian. To protect Nunnally and him in the past, Suzaku believed that Lelouch would become a demon.
How was he any different from having his hands bloodstained of innocence? He had broken his promise first. He had failed to protect Nunnally. Now he had failed his friend.
"I will destroy Britannia!"
A voice of distant past resurfaced again, along with the innocent smiles on each other's faces. Just like the joy he is seeing in a broken Lelouch in front of him.
Suzaku's legs gave out, landing him on one of the cold metallic benches of their prison cell. "Let's go together…" he said in acknowledgement to the other man who perked up like the innocent child he once was.
"Let's go pick up Nunnally together…. Lelouch."
….
He didn't know how long later when footsteps sounded at the front of the locked cell door. But when it opened, dread filled him when he saw two guards enter, followed then by a young man he hadn't seen before with a dark humorous smile.
"Sir Kururugi, I have come to fetch you," he said with an outstretched hand.
Suzaku understood now what he had done.
"His majesty would like an audience with the earl."
He had practically sent his friend he promised loyalty to, to the brinks of insanity.
"Now… shall we?"
And he wished that time would turn back to those innocent days, before the darkness took them.
….
I have never really watched Code Geass thoroughly and have seen clips of the Movies but not actually the movie itself. It's still on my list to watch, so don't expect the details to be correct. But if you have seen the movie, then you understand where I am at correct?
Anyways, this is my one-shot of Code Geass.