My love for you
A/N- Anna's POV. There's not much to say. Although most of it is inspired by a personal experience. More like venting out my feelings. Anyways, hope you all like it.
I knew it. I should not play with emotions. I knew it. Still, I played with it, for you. I wanted you with all my heart. I knew you didn't. That you were just relieving your stress. You had no feelings. No emotions. Still, I was blinded by this powerful force called love. My being was getting engulfed by a giant whirlpool which was you. Yet I allowed it to happen. I could have pushed you away. I could have retaliated. But I didn't. Because I was in love but with the wrong person.
Many a time you would appear to me as a mirage. Your caresses, your touches making me feel that maybe just maybe you felt the same. But oh no I was so wrong about you. You were a very good player and unfortunately, I had become the pawn in your game of chess.
You saw a spark in me. A warmth and often at times you became curious. You wanted to know me. To know my secret. And when you did, you exploited it. You exploited my weakness. The power to love, you made it my weakness.
My spark nearly subsided. I became aloof.
You smiled crookedly. All this while, this is what you wanted. To turn me into a living dead, as you already were.
Years passed, I didn't see those long blonde hair again. And although I was hurt. That's an understatement. I was shattered into pieces. Yet I didn't give up. I rose from my own ashes like a phoenix. I became what I wanted to be. Successful.
Love came again. I opened my doors to welcome it. Because that's my nature. I can't stay away from it. I can't resist it.
My love is different, you see. Most people describe this feeling as a way to satiate their desires. Or if not that, maybe being affectionate or caring.
I, on the other hand, call it worship. Fool? Maybe I am. But that's how I love. Completely forgetting my own self and loving the other one with all my being. My very heart, body, and soul become one with the other. I worship that person as a deity. I give away my everything. My complete self. Don't believe me? You don't have to. After all, people believe what they see. What they feel. And not what others say until and unless they have felt it themselves.
The body is not a mere body but a temple for me. I start worshiping from the top of the shrine to the bottom. Each and every part. Sprinkling infinite kisses and tenderly stroking as if this is the most precious thing in the world.
And I never get enough of it.
I shower my affection. In the form of everything you want me to be. More accurately, everything I want myself to be, for you. Because I want to be worthy of you. And not just a mere lover who cares only about his needs. But I want to be your worthy.
Everything seemed to be perfect. I got everything I wanted. On my wedding day, when I was about to marry the man of my dreams, I saw you amidst the crowd.
Why?
Those blue eyes bore into my soul. And before I could get lost into it, I hurriedly kissed my man.
At the reception party, you asked for me. Even though I was in fear of getting hurt again, I went to you.
You smiled. A smile full of regret.
Then said, "You are my dream that cannot be fulfilled."
I'm not ready for you. I don't want to fall again in that state of misery. I told you to get out. Leave me be.
You didn't say much. "Be happy."
Neither did you fight to stay.
But left with a kiss on my lips.
I was shocked. Stunned.
Why?
I never understood you. Still, you're a mystery to me. A mystery I don't want to solve because of the consequences.
I want to forget you. Forever. If only it would have been so easy.
I hate you. I love you. I hate it that I love you so much.
But that's my nature. I will continue loving you. Maybe in a way, no one will ever know.
Not even you.
"After sometimes I've finally made up my mind
She is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching everywhere to find her again
To tell her I love her
And I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done
I find her standing in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But she's crying while she's saying this
Boy I missed your kisses all the time but
This is twenty-five minutes too late
Though you've traveled so far
Boy I'm sorry you are
Twenty-five minutes too late"~Michael Learns to Rock