Teenage Wasteland

Debbie was pregnant. Fiona had gone through two bottles of Jack Daniels. She stared at the pregnancy test, well the first three. All of them were positive. Debbie was going to be an unwed teenage mother at fourteen.

Fiona had tried to talk her into an abortion. She doesn't want a baby at fourteen. Fiona felt like this was somehow her fault. She fucked up. She wasn't there for the kids. She was out pretending to be married to some guy she barely knew.

She had been taking care of those kids since she was six years old. Never once had she given any thought to her own life or her own future. So what if she wanted to, just once. But it was a bad idea. She wasn't ready, for any of that. Her place was in the home.

Fiona had to wonder what would have happened if she stayed home, kicked Sammi's ass out, and had been around. Debbie certainly wouldn't be pregnant, Ian and Mickey would still be together, Ian would be medicated and watched around the clock, and Carl wouldn't be in juvie. Well the last one she wasn't sure about. He seemed to be happy there.

Ian sat down at the table and grabbed a cigarette. He had been crying—again. Ian's cried off and on for three days. He hasn't spoken to nor seen Mickey since the break up. Fiona wasn't sure why he even did it. She blamed it on the mania. So did Mickey at least that was what he told her when she bumped into him outside his house. By bump into, she purposefully waited for him to come out so she could talk to him about Ian.

"Debbie's pregnant," Fiona told Ian.

"What the fuck?"

"I know. She thought it would a good idea. Poor Derek."

"Poor Debbie."

"I fucked up."

"Why are you pregnant too?"

"No. I should have been here. I should have paid more attention."

"I love him," Ian admitted. He put his head down on the table. Fiona was unable to be there when he ended her during his psychotic break, but she can be there now.

"Then why did you break up with him?" Fiona had to ask. She had to know.

"Because I was tired of causing him pain," That was all Ian said before he went upstairs.

He's the best one of us. She smiled fondly at his back as we walked up the stairs. But her smile soon faded when she looked down at the three pregnancy tests in front of her. Three little reminders that she fucked up royally, and not only that but ruined her little sister's life.

"Oh Debs," Fiona said. She threw the tests in the trash. Debbie had an appointment to her OB/GYN in the morning. Fiona sighed. She needed to let Lip know. Maybe he could convince Debbie to get rid of it. They could get the money.

Fiona needed someone. She turned off all the lights in the house and stepped out onto the porch to smoke in the cool night air. Fiona saw Mickey across the street watching the house. She understood. He really misses Ian.

She nodded for him to come over. He hesitated before walking across the street. They sat side by side without saying a word for a long time. Fiona reached for his hand. At first he didn't give it to her, then he surrendered.

"How's Ian?"

"He misses you."

"I miss him," Mickey choked. He was fighting back tears.

"Debbie's pregnant," Fiona said.

"Oh fuck," Mickey sighed, "You sure?"

"She took three tests and all were positive."

"That's not what she wants. I have a fucking kid. It's a lot of work. But I guess I don't need to tell you that. You raised Frank's fucking litter."

"Fine fucking job I did."

Fiona took Mickey's cigarette. She shivered. He scooted closer. Mickey may have been an asshole to men, but he would never harm a woman or allow one to be harmed. So he used his body heat to warm Fiona. She smiled at him.

"You were great. Frank and Monica fucked you guys over. Ian got that fucking awful disease from your bitch of a mother, and Lip seemed to inherit Frank's personality."

Fiona laughed.

"You were good for him."

"He was good for me."

They were quiet again. Mickey got up and started to leave. Fiona stood up too.

"Don't tell Ian I was here."

"I won't. Hey, Mickey, thanks for taking care of Ian. You don't know what it means to me. Really. I'm a shitty guardian. You were great. Really. I'm sorry you had to have that burden."

"He was never a burden."

Fiona went back inside as Mickey left. Debbie was sitting at the table rapidly texting someone. Fiona sat down across from her. Debbie held out a fourth pregnancy test. Why she bothered to take the fourth one was beyond Fiona.

"I hope it's a girl."

"Debbie, you don't want to be pregnant. Please. Just get rid of it."

"Fuck you," Debbie said, "Tomorrow I will go to the doctor and she'll schedule me for regular check ups. I'm going to be a mom, and Derek is going to be the dad. You're just jealous."

"I've raised kids, Debs. Do you think it's a fucking game?"

"I'll do a better job than you did."

And that was that. Debbie was gone, upstairs as quickly as she could. Fiona kicked the chair she was sitting in. Her stomach was upset, she had a headache, and all she wanted was to rewind the summer and do it all over.

"I fucked up. Oh fuck. Okay," She breathed.