"I choose you!" Ash exclaimed. Ordering his coffee coolatta from the corner store Dunkin Donuts. It was a dark, dark day. There were still many clues to uncover before he found the truth. The barista was perplexed and put in and order for a tall chai latte. Ash stood silently. He stared the barista in the eyes, gaze unmoving. At any moment a fight could break out. This was the bad times. The wild west of pokemon battles. In a Starbucks.
The barista slammed her steel cup of steamed milk against the counter. Once. Twice. Three times. It was too many for a latte and ash knew it. This was aggression. It was time to make a move. Ash put his hand in his pocket as casually as possible considering the circumstances…
Ash reached for a pokeball just like he would during a pokemon battle. But this wasn't a pokemon battle, this was a human he was about to sick his pokemon on. The coffee aggression could not be forgiven. The latte was ruined, and this barista needed to be punished. Ash threw the pokeball and a charmander materialized.
"ROOOOOARRR!" the charmander bellowed. "Listen Charmander, it's time to fight the barista. He sucks real bad" said Ash.
Charmander obeyed. Suddenly a combination of rock smash and fireblast crushed the barista into a small pile of ash and blood and dust. Charmander looked up at Ash for approval. Ash shook his head. He walked over to the pile of barista behind the counter. With all the patient customers watching in awe, he picked up all the bits he could find and…
put him back together as best he could. He was all but successful. There were some ears, an eye, and three limbs missing. But the barista was breathing again, and that's all that mattered. After all, this was war and anything worth killing is worth killing twice, ash thought.
Ash was astonished. Was he witnessing the birth of a new type of pokemon? The barista? He had to test this hypothesis in the only way he knew, by capturing the 'pokemon'. The barista was rabid, he rushed towards charmander with a quick attack. 'Charmander, flamethrower!' Ash commanded. Charmander's golden flame engulfed the barista. When the attack was over the barista, burnt beyond all recognition, was unconscious on the floor. 'Now is my chance', Ash thought. He threw an empty pokeball, but his hand slipped and the pokeball hit him in the back of the head. "OH NOOOO" said Ash. By the time he had finished his thought the pokeball was capturing himself. What a strange turn of events… The pokemaster had mastered himself. Things would never be the same.
The inside of the pokeball was a terrible place to be. Ash never knew the torment he was subjecting his pokemon friends to. In the cramped space, various succubi were tormenting him, forcing him to try things he never thought he would try. It was awful. He thought about pikachu, being forced into horrible acts by the pokeball succubi. Did other trainers know the horrors this well? Did other pokemon masters fully understand the awful fate they were subjecting their pokemon to? He had to break free. He had to get out. He had to make a change. The only option was to find a way out. A hole of sorts, An exit. It took every ounce of energy to part the succubi taking advantage of his body before he saw it. A light at the end of the tunnel. He dove for it as fast as he could and when he emerged, he was a new Ash. Everything had changed.
Ash was part of a system. He was a face, on a nipple. He no longer had hands...or a face...or anything other than being a nipple. He didn't like being a nipple. He had to get back to the world he belonged to...the pokemon world. As soon as he thought that, something appeared before him. A shadow.. no… a mouth. Shit, he was a nipple on a woman having sex, and he was becoming erect. He had to find a way to get back to the pokemon world now.
Things clearly would never be the same. The world had changed beyond anything he had ever conceived. If he ever wanted to get back to the tangible world. He would have to concentrate. Focusing on the distant memories that once defined his normal life. Things began to shift. The nipply world that he had found himself in was beginning to warp. Almost a nipple twister of time. It hurt. A lot. It was the most brutal of all nipple twisters. The fourth dimension opened up as wormhole into a tangent universe. Ash closed his eyes, and even prayed for a moment. He awoke in a blinding flash of light. When it began to fade he looked up. He saw a giant charmander, ten times his size, staring down at him. "Ash! I choose you!", Charmander yelled. Ash knew it was time to fight.
He turned to face the pitch, uneasy about how to handle the situation. Who would be his opponent? would it be another pokemon? or another master? had the universe been completely turned around? He took a deep breath and suddenly there was another flash of light before him. He heard faintly in the distance, "I choose you! …
Professor Oak appeared in the distance. 'Professor!?' Ash screamed. 'Yes, Ash...the time has come. Let us battle to the DEATH', the professor screamed. Ash didn't want to fight his former teacher, but this is what he had to do. He reached for a pokemon when the Oak stopped him, 'Wait, Ash...let us not use pokemon...let's do this man to man.' Ash knew this was the way it was meant to end. 'Okay, professor'. The ran towards each other, each with the intention to kill. Suddenly, Ash had a thought, 'Wait, I love the professor..I want to kiss him real bad.' Apparently the professor had the same thought and the both went in for the kiss. It was very romantic. Skip ten years into the future and they are happily married with three children.
THE END.