Disclaimer: The Harry Potter series is the sole property of JK ROWLING and a select number of Publishing Houses worldwide hold a limited amount of rights to its usage. I do not own nor do I make any profit from the writing and publishing of this story. The characters here-in are still hers. The idea behind the story is my own and as such is mine to do with as I please. Also, this chapter has not been beta-read, so I apologize ahead of time for any grammar and/or spelling mistakes.
See the end for an Author Note.
BEFORE
Draco awoke to a dragon clawing down his chest.
Fire burned his eyes and acid clawed up his throat. He quickly lost the battle to keep his last meal down.
The movement to keep from drowning in his vomit only upended him onto hard marble.
"Happy Birthday, Draco," he said to himself.
The War was over. The Trials were over. And Draco was hungover.
Theodore had the most lavishly decorated house in their group. Much of Draco's childhood home had been ransacked by the Ministry and it was now a skeleton of its previous grandeur.
But that was probably besides the point. His parents wouldn't let Theo back into the Manor anyway.
Or anywhere near it for that matter.
Draco rubbed his cheek against the shag rug surrounding Theo's bed. And then spit up on it again. Greg's groan came from somewhere in the vicinity. He had lost the drinking game last night so was probably doing much better than Draco himself. Theodore had pre-gamed.
The dragon clawed down his chest and Draco had rarely felt closer to death then when he was trying to expel his internal organs. So much pain could only be reserved for those crossing into the next life.
But this was normal. Just another day. He lapsed into dry heaves. A simple wave of Draco's hand did away with the heated pile of sick.
He had become quite skilled with wandless magic and nonverbal spells.
What with not having a wand and all.
"I see you've come home."
His father looked much older after the war. His brief stint in Azkaban still showed in the hollow of his cheeks.
The dining room was a dull gray.
"Where have you been all week?"
Draco's sipped his tea. The elf had put in the firewhiskey he had requested. "I was at a friend's."
They all coped poorly. Those of them that were left. No one wanted to go back to Hogwarts in the Fall. Draco wasn't even sure he wanted to wake up in the morning.
"My mother's sending me to Durmstrang."
Draco glanced at Greg from the bottom of his glass. The fact that he could still see him meant that he needed another drink. "Good then," Draco said.
When he woke up in Theo's bathroom Greg wasn't there.
"What do you want for breakfast?"
Theo had just gotten out the shower. Water curled slowly down his lean frame. If Draco squinted he could pretend the brown hair was a darker black. "You got some firewhiskey?"
He picked up a bottle off of the bathroom counter and passed it over. The dragon's claws loosened its grip on his chest after a few swigs.
Theo didn't say anything when Draco pulled off his towel.
Neither of them ever saw Greg again.
His mother frowned at him as he went to his wing.
His father was nowhere to be seen. Probably holed up in his study.
A glass of wine had him drifting off to sleep.
The nightmares tore through him like a warring centaur. They eviscerated his thoughts and he didn't dare sleep. Didn't dare dream.
If he was quiet for too long he could hear the screams echo through the manor.
A concentrated effort to get to his feet found him apparating to his nightstand and crashing the candelabra onto the floor where it shattered and awakened the screams of the long dead. A quick swig of a pain potion later and he found himself in his study looking at a pile of naked bodies spread out upon his rug. His memory had placed several more people last night, but only three remained. The fit bloke with the dark hair that Draco had spent half of the night snogging was gone.
A bottle of firewhiskey was in his left fist.
The sunset looked gray from his perilous perch on his balcony. He leaned forward a little more. Just enough to where a stiff breeze would upset him. The fall would hurt if there weren't so many safety charms on the balcony. As it was, Draco didn't think he could jump even if he wanted to.
Even though he wanted to.
Perhaps he should move out of London. The skyline was never much to look at from his loft. It wasn't much better at the manor.
"Dammit Draco, we can't keep doing this."
He didn't remember going to Theodore's loft. He didn't even remember drinking another dosage of dreamless sleep potion. But when he let loose another bout of vomit into Theo's toilet, that's what it tasted like. Sick, sleeping potion and a couple shots of firewhiskey. As it turned out the burn coming up was just as nice as the burn going down.
It distracted him from the burn on his left forearm.
"Hey."
The pounding music echoed beautifully with the headache blooming from behind Draco's eyes. There was this bloke in front of him. Wild dark hair that looked like he had just had sex. "What's your name?"
The bloke leered at him. It made Draco feel like a piece of trash. "What do you want it to be?"
The dragon was back. Draco could feel the ache in his chest. Could hear a curse ringing through the cold stone of the bathroom, could feel the blood staining his white shirt.
There was a stranger in his bed and nowhere near enough liquor in his stomach.
"Who's Harry?"
In the daylight, the bloke's hair was actually red like a Weasley's. Draco threw up over the side of his bed. There was a trashcan there filled with ashes and scraps of burnt red paper.
His ears still rang with the Howls of the Wizarding World.
"How have you been?"
Draco nursed his cup of tea. It was really nothing more than Dreamless sleep potion with a shot of vodka. Daphne gave him the courtesy of pretending she didn't know this.
Draco didn't see how she couldn't. She had watched him pour both into the china. "Your mother said she visited you yesterday. I'm glad you're talking with your parents again."
Draco couldn't remember the last time he saw his parents' faces. Probably during the Trials.
"They're having a gala for the Battle of Hogwarts tomorrow. It will be the first anniversary."
Draco took a long drawl out of his cup. Once it was empty he simply grabbed the firewhiskey bottle.
"No one's seen Potter for a while, though. He might not even come."
The bottle didn't last long.
"Death Eater scum."
Pain blossomed across his body. He tasted blood.
Draco hit back twice as hard and fell over laughing. He was in hell.
"What happened to your face?"
Theo was always there with a couch to crash on and a bottle of liquor handy. "Birthday present," he choked out around the bottle.
It burned across his split lip.
He screamed.
Then he cried.
"It's over, Draco."
His mother's voice was thin and her hands frail as she pulled him forward into a hug. His father remained motionless at the base of the stairs. He looked dead. His mother looked tired.
When had they become so old and gray? "You're fine now."
Was he? He felt like he was dying the longer he stood in the atrium.
"Everything's going to be fine."
He stared at his plate. He wanted a drink. He wanted Theo.
"One day," Draco agreed.
That was the best he could offer his mother. She had this perfect dream of how it was all to go.
He had to hold onto it. For her sake.
"I'm fine again."
It was the lie he told his father after his eighty year old scotch showed up missing. No one believed him.
But he had to be fine.
"I'm going to America next month."
Theo hadn't wanted to drink. Just as well. Draco downed the entire bottle of scotch by himself.
His food had long grown cold.
"What are you going to do Draco?"
"I'm not going back to Hogwarts next term."
Draco wasn't either. He knew his parents expected him to, but he couldn't.
"We're too old for Hogwarts."
Draco didn't care. He was tired. Tired of pretending to be fine. Of waiting for everything to fix itself. It was too late. He couldn't be fine.
He just couldn't.
"Draco where were you?"
His mother's face had more lines than he remembered. She was so tired. He was too. "I went to see Theodore."
"That was yesterday."
His father's gaze was accusing. He felt the dragon's claws dig in further.
He needed a drink.
"You're lying. I can smell the alcohol over here."
Draco felt like hell.
He had taken a dose of dreamless sleep potion, but the taunting laugh of his aunt still broke through.
He threw back another dose and chased it with a swig of vodka.
Blackness overtook him.
"What's your name?"
Draco stared at the pale face in the mirror. It didn't answer.
"Say it," he hissed at it.
It was a dare really and a pathetic one. They both knew the answer anyway. The dark circles under its eyes looked like smudged eyeliner. He didn't remember wearing eyeliner last night.
"Say it."
A swig of firewhiskey.
"What's your name?"
A new batch of Dreamless sleep potion. Stronger than the last.
"Say it."
There is an interesting bruise blooming along his temple. It hurts when he licks the blood from his split lip.
"Malfoy."
The pale visage flinched in disgust. "Death Eater," Draco said to it.
He spat at the mirror. It opened its mouth and expelled everything it had consumed that day.
More dreamless sleep potion.
The nightmares came back. It was just as well, really. They lost the War, didn't they? He couldn't even remember what he had been fighting for.
Screams echoed through the halls chased by manic shrill laughter. Blood choked his senses.
"Looking for a good time?"
This bloke had green eyes but they were wrong. Everything was wrong.
"MISERABLE FUCKING DEATH EATER."
The red parchment was smoking and still it howled its venom in his face. "YOU SHOULD HAVE JOINED YOUR MASTER IN DEATH!"
I'm trying, Draco thought. Wasn't that enough?
"Draco. I can't keep doing this."
Theo's bathroom was such a nice shade of green. It shone like polished jade and was just as unforgiving. It cut like the Killing Curse.
"It's over."
Draco let out a sigh. His mother had stopped with her dream. It had long since expired in him anyway. He felt like he was dying.
The dragon's claws had torn a gaping hole in his side. Blood spilt out of his mouth and Theo wasn't answering his door.
It was Draco's birthday. They had to celebrate.
Where was he?
Draco needed to use his bathroom.
"Malfoy!"
A stinging hex caught him the face. The cobblestone was nice enough to cushion his fall. "Death Eater!"
His loft was empty.
A glass of dreamless sleep potion fixed that.
"Take your drink elsewhere."
Draco stared at the barkeep. He looked gray. "I'm a paying customer."
"We don't want your galleons here, Malfoy."
"Hey, you."
The music was too loud. The light too bright. The dragon's clutch too tight. And this bloke looked nothing like Potter. "Want to try something that will rock your world?"
Of course he did.
Theo still wasn't home.
"How much for a night?"
This bloke looked fit enough. With another shot of Muggle alcohol he even looked like he was wearing glasses. "How much do you have?"
Draco had run out of potion. Apothecaries didn't accept Muggle money.
"It's not much, but it's well warded."
He hadn't seen Pansy since the Battle. She looked just the same. Defeated.
"Draco are you going to even tell me what you're doing in Wales?"
He grinned.
The dragon tore out his heart. "Do you have any firewhiskey?"
He didn't know where he was.
This wasn't the apartment that Pansy had brought him to.
There were bottles riddled across the floor.
Piles of vomit near the window.
The walls peeled gray paint.
"Am I dead enough yet?"
No one answered.
"Hey buddy."
Draco tried to rise, but only succeeded in throwing up everything but his memories.
Too bad.
"How about we get you cleaned up?"
Draco looked up into bright jade green eyes.
They were perfect.
"Harry."
He didn't need the potion to fall into a dreamless sleep that time.
A/N: So here's the beginning of what I'm debating keeping going or leaving as this really weird and depressing one-shot. I've been on the fence about it for a week now so decided to post it anyway and just add more chapters if I get the urge. I have some ideas in my head on where it could go from here, but they're snippets of conversations and plot twists. And I would like to apologize to everyone reading this who is still confused on what in Merlin's name was that hodgepodge of writing. It's supposed to be really disconnected and skip around scenes a lot. It's actually a little neat when you get the passage of time down but in the same breath its really disheartening. If I do decide to continue on with this then I'll go over why I feel so in the next chapter's Author Note. If not then just go through the story again and keep track of the few mentions of Hogwarts and Draco's birthday. If you know the dates their talking about (which you should be able to tell easily enough) then you'll be well on your way.
As a warning, the main pairing in this will eventually be Drarry (this of course depends on whether I actually continue it or not and even then, nothing explicit will probably happen so theoretically one could squint their eyes really hard and just imagine Draco was obsessed with Potter in this chapter and then they develop a really close friendship later on). Although Harry's present in the next chapter (theoretically) them as a pairing does not come into play for some time. If I get out longer chapters it will probably be a lot faster then if all the chapters were this length though.
Not too many characters from the series show up early on outside of what you see here and then Draco and Harry next chapter. You'll understand why later on. But there is an OC who has some decent screen time. A Muggle. She's not prevalent to the plot at this time, but that might change. Harry will be some variation of OOC for some time, but I'll try to keep that to a minimum. Here's hoping. Draco I'm trying to keep as true to the infuriatingly smart and annoying git that he really is. Or that I remember from the books. I might re-read the series again to get more character reference, but that would take almost two weeks and I might throw a book when I get to Ootp because I never wanted to punch Harry Potter in the face so much then in that year.
Finally, I will answer to all reviews (that are signed in). If you don't want the trouble of signing in at that moment, you can always submit it under your pen name and I'll try to find you on here and send you a PM. Otherwise, I might not respond. Any questions asked, however, I will try to answer in the Author's Notes at the end of the chapters (which will hopefully be much shorter than this one in the future).
P.S. In case anyone was curious, a lot of the inspiration for this came from the song "Fine Again" by Seether.
Bon Voyage.