Me and my friend were just thinking of ways people could make Edward snap then we moved on to Jacob and I just thought that what we were talking about made a good series of oneshots.

If you're Team Jacob, I suggest you don't read this because while I'm a Jacob fan too, this has a lot of making fun of Jacob in a mean way. Oh and Jacob gets back with a mean comment at Edward which I would find funny but I'm not sure about you guys.

I guess you can say I'm just naturally mean.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Renesmee Questions

RPOV

I never had to think about whether or not I loved Jacob. I mean, come on. He imprinted on me and he's been there all my 8 years but mentally, 17 years. I got to go to high school with the family now. But when I talk with my friends, who think I'm just dating an older guy, we get into some pretty weird conversations.

"Hey Ness," Jacob comes up to me.

"Hey Jake," I greet back.

"You seem kinda troubled," he says.

Figures it's the subject of the topic that always notices.

"Not really," I answer, "Just a few questions."

"Maybe I could answer them," he suggests.

I think back to my conversations with Liz and Jen. But isn't it weird dating someone more than 3 years older than you? That was Jen's question.

"My friends and I were talking," I explain, "And Jen says that it's weird that I'm dating you because you look old."

"What, 25?" he asks, "Pshaw, at least I'm my mental age too. And I won't age again for a while so it's good."

"Yeah but Jake," I try and get him to understand even though I didn't understand what he said, "I've stopped aging too. I'm forever 17."

"Meaning…?"

"Sorry to break it to you Jake, but while I'm forever 17, you're forever a somewhat pedophile. Then there's that 17 year difference between us. I am just 8."

"Yeah well, what about your parents? They have some serious age problems."

"What about them? They're around the same age."

"Nessie, your father is over a century old."

"Yeah but at least my dad looks 17 while my mom looks a day from 19."

"This means they have an 86 year difference and you're worried about 17 years and… and 8 years?"

"I gue--"

"Not to mention Carlisle and Esme! He over 300 years old! That's a 255 year difference!"

"You had a lot of time to think and do math, didn't you?"

"Yeah well…"

"What?" This is weird. Jacob usually tells me everything.

"No, nothing."

"Seriously, tell me."

"Well I was originally gonna use it as a reason for your mom to stay away from your dad."

Well, there's a shocker. I remember a question I came up with after my conversation with Liz and Jen.

"I actually have another question," I say.

"What?"

"Weren't you like, really in love with my mom and made out with her a few times?"

He looks extremely uncomfortable. Normally, I'd stop here but I'm too curious.

"Well, that's not really a good topic," he says.

"Why? Also, didn't Dad once tell you that it's ok for you to have a kid with her?"

"It wasn't that simple…"

"Wasn't it?"

"Technically, but--"

"So it's true?"

"Well yes, but--"

"Ok then, ok then."

"Nessie, don't just back away like I'm a creep."

Ok so just pretend that this took place in 2014 because that's when Renesmee's 8th birthday is. I know it ended not that funny, but I was bored and I just got out of school. In fact, I'm so bored; I'll probably end up making more chapters where Renesmee makes everyone uncomfortable. Whether I have readers or not!