A/N - So one of my pals told me there aren't a lot of this crack pairing, so this is dedicated to her; Leven The Valkyrie.

I hope she/you enjoys it

Cheers


Reno sighed as he flagged down the female bartender once more, as he knocked back yet another short glass of amber liquid, the ice cubes clinking against each other as he placed the glass onto the black counter top of the bar. "Tifa! Can ya grab me another, yo?" The redhead shouted, waving his lanky limbs towards the empty glass, turning his gaze back to staring into the cup, as if it held the answer to all his problems. The woman nodded as she made her way over, pitying the eccentric redhead. It had been over three weeks since his long time crush; Cloud Strife had found the love of his life; Leon which had sent the redhead into a depressed state, constantly drinking and crying, often taking home random strangers from the bar in an effort to comfort his loneliness.

"Are you sure he can show me around, Cloud? Didn't you say he's really depressed and drunk all the time?" Zack asked, concerned for his safety. The blonde rolled his eyes at his cousin's dramatics and raised his hand to smack the other who cowered away from his fist. "Don't be stupid, Zack. Reno's got a thing for hot guys. You'll be fine." Cloud growled, letting his hand fall to his side as he looked around the street outside his good friend Tifa's bar, searching for his brunette boyfriend. "You better be right." Zack murmured, begrudging his lazy cousin for dumping him on one of his friends so he could go on a date with his new boyfriend. "Come on, we should get you guys acquainted before Leon gets here." Cloud said, giving the empty streets one last look before ushering his cousin into the aptly named 7th Heaven bar.

"Reno!" Cloud called, making his way over to the lone figure that had seated himself at the shiny black counter top bar, interrupting both the brunette and the redhead's thoughts. Reno was pulled from his thoughts as a sweet voice called out to him, breaking his drunken stupor. The older man turned briefly to glance at the owner of the angelic voice, sighing as he realised it was his unrequited love and bane of his existence. "Hey." Reno murmured, turning back to gaze at his now filled glass. The blonde stopped short of both the bar and the redhead, waiting patiently for the older man to once again turn around. "I made you meet me here for a reason you know." Cloud crooned, causing the redhead to stiffen under the blonde's gaze. "What do you want, Cloud?" Reno sighed, turning to face not the blonde he wasn't expecting but a black haired man with a strikingly similar resemblance to his friend. "This is my cousin Zack. He's new in town, so you should show him around." The blonde said, teasing the slightly inebriated redhead. Distracted by the almost violet blue eyes peering into his own teal ones, the drunk man had to shake his head to break his daze. "Huh? You want me to take this hottie out?" Reno questioned, almost incredulously gaping at the smirking blonde. "Yes, Reno and his name is Zack." Cloud chuckled, amused by his previously depressed friend's antics.

"Hey buddy. Cloud left ages ago, stop staring at me!" Zack whined as he waved a hand in front of the comatose redhead still perched on the barstool. With a grunt, the black haired man swiftly slapped the drunken man, effectively awakening him from his alcohol induced daze. "Whoa there, sweetness. Don't be putting your hands on little old Reno, yo." Reno groaned as he rubbed his reddened cheek with one of his hands, staring fondly at the other man. "Cloud said you'd take me home." Zack whined, his lips twisting into what seemed to be an all too familiar expression for the man. "Oh, I'll take you home, sweetness." The redhead growled as he lifted himself off the stool, advancing on the other man and picked him up, crushing him to his chest. "Hey! I said take me around town! Not home!" Zack shouted, surprised as the redhead lifted him off the floor and flung him over his shoulder, the eccentric man cackling as he raced out of the bar. Smiling, Tifa pulled out her cell phone and sent a text to an eagerly and grateful blonde alerting him of the redhead's lifted spirits and his maniacal absconding exit.

Cloud startled and broke away from the heated embrace of his lover as his pocket vibrated. "Who is it?" Leon murmured in between placing his lips against the blonde's neck in a trail of sweetly pressed kisses. Pulling out his phone, Cloud opened his messages to smile at the text from Tifa. "Tifa just wanted to let us know that our plan worked." The blonde chuckled, slipping his phone back into his pocket. "Good, now keep that in your pocket." Leon snarled, crashing his lips against the blonde's as he engaged him in yet another passionate kiss.

"Reno, stop running! I'm going to be sick!" Zack moaned as his body was jolted up and down on the redhead's bony frame. "Soon. We're almost there!" Reno murmured as he gave a loving tap from his palm on the black haired man's ass. Pouting, the blue eyed man quietened himself, patiently waiting for the frantic jumping and jostling of the ride to end. "We're here!" Reno crowed as the two found themselves outside the redhead's front door. "Thank the Gods." Zack groaned as he was placed down onto the solid ground once more. "Come inside, sweetness!" The redhead yelled as he grabbed the smaller hand of the other man and lead him inside, opening the door and shutting it behind the two of them quickly. His motion sickness subsiding, Zack looked around the house, surprised that it was actually clean and tidy, with nary a piece of rubbish or broken glass bottle anywhere in sight. "Surprised, sweet cheeks?" Reno joked, noting the widened eyes and slightly gaping mouth of the other man. Zack nodded as he continued to look through the lounge room, wandering over to peer at the book shelves that held many books, and not just gaming manuals, walkthroughs and porn magazines but actual hard cover pieces of literature.

Making his way over to the silent blue eyed man, Reno grinned as he slipped his thin arms around the muscular waist of the other man. "I'll give you a tour of my room, sweetness." The redhead suggested flirtatiously as he whispered into the black haired man's ear before giving it a swift lick of his tongue. "Ah, uhm. K-kay." Zack moaned as he leant his head back, allowing the redhead even more access to both his ear and neck. Reno allowed the other to turn in his grip before picking him up again, walking them both to the master bedroom before throwing the black haired man onto the bed. Though there was a brief pause after the manic redhead throwing the other, he quickly pounced onto the black haired boy and initiated a sweet and slightly sloppy kiss.

Zack couldn't believe the predicament he had found himself in as he accepted yet another kiss from the drunken redhead, barely able to keep himself from swooning as the older man slipped his tongue into his mouth. He had only been asked to accompany the crazed man around the town as he tried to help get his mind off of his blonde cousin. Zack had felt bad, knowing that his cousin and brunette boyfriend were using his eerily similar looks to distract the moping redhead. This wasn't how he expected to spend his holiday though it was hardly bad at all. As he lay underneath the drunk man, he wondered how his cousin couldn't appreciate the ragged beauty that was the redhead, grinning maniacally as his mouth and hands roamed his now half naked muscular body. Reno may not have been the stoic thug that Leon was, but he was something more, something that held finesse, wily and sly all in the same attractive package. He seemed to have more intelligence in his little finger than that brute of his cousin's boyfriend, why couldn't Cloud see what he was missing out on? Never mind, I'll just take him for myself, Zack thought as he eagerly accepted another kiss from the redhead.

Reno couldn't believe his luck when the other man began to kiss back, encouraging the maniacal redhead to rip the clothes off the muscular man. Bending his head, the eccentric man kissed his way down the tanned skin of his soon to be lover, tearing his pants off along the way. Zack had no idea how it happened, one moment he was kissing the redhead, the next they were both naked and grinding their erections against each other. "Oh my god!" Zack groaned as the redhead spread his legs even further, lifting them a little. "I need you to suck my fingers or it's going to hurt." Reno murmured, his crazy personality subdued by the heat of the moment, dangling his fingers in front of the black haired man's mouth. Zack eagerly suckled on the three digits, licking them delicately and coating them equally in saliva. Reno watched as his lover sucked gently on his fingers before he pulled them away from his mouth, a little more than aroused.

Zack winced as the redhead slipped a finger into his tight entrance, making a come hither motion as slowly as he possibly could. Whimpering as the other man thrust his second finger in the entrance, Zack couldn't help but moan as the redhead found his prostate, his two fingers dancing along the bundle of nerves. Reno nearly crowed with victory as he hit his lover's prostate with the two digits, taking the chance to slip the third and last finger into the tightened entrance. "Oh! Please!" Zack moaned as the redhead prodded his prostate with all three of his fingers, effectively loosening and stretching his entrance. "Hold on, sweetness. Daddy's coming." Reno murmured as he removed his fingers, ignoring the soft whines of his lover and positioned his cock outside of the relaxed entrance. "R-Reno." Zack cried as he writhed under the soft touches and caresses of the gentle redhead, stiffening as the other man thrust his dry length into his entrance. "God, sweetness. You're so tight." Reno groaned as he thrust into his now squirming and moaning lover. Zack could barely handle the redhead's length as he languidly rolled his hips into his still tight and burning entrance, scarcely able to contain his cries of pain.

However, Reno soon noticed that his lover had clenched his ass around his cock, almost to unbearable and slowed his already lazy movements to a halt. "You alright, Zack?" The redhead asked, soothing the uncomfortable man by rubbing his cheek fondly with one of his hands. "I'm fine." The black haired man managed to spit out, biting his lower lip as he waited for the redhead to start up again. Reno waited until his lover released his lower lip and the unshed tears disappeared from his eyes until he thrust into the hesitant man, slowly as he allowed him to become adjusted to the new sensation. "Oh my fucking God!" Zack shouted as the redhead slammed into him suddenly, tapping against his prostate again. Smirking, Reno angled his hips so he repeatedly rolled his hips into that same position, delighting in the soft gasps and lusty deep breaths of his lover.

Zack threw his head back against the pillows as he felt his orgasm near, his hand automatically flying to his weeping erection, jerking his length wildly as he moaned his lover's name. Reno had to say he was flattered as he watched the black haired man fist his erection, but even more so when Zack orgasmed thick ribbons onto his naked chest, calling his name in a soft shriek of pleasure. The ring of muscles clenching around his cock, Reno groaned loudly as his own orgasm was ripped from his body, his seed shooting deep into his lover's ass. Slumping forward onto the sticky and mussed form of the muscular man, the redhead fought to catch his breath. "Well, that was an interesting first time." Zack murmured, interrupting the silence. Reno turned to look at him incredulously.

"You're a virgin?!" The redhead shouted, lifting himself off of Zack's frame, the sudden confession erasing any traces of alcohol from his system. "Well yeah." Zack cringed, covering his ears to protect them from the outbursts of the redhead. "Oh god, if I had known, I would've used lube. I swear!" Reno muttered, hugging his muscled lover to his chest. "Well...I'm only fifteen so of course I'm a virgin." Zack murmured, blinking surprised eyes at the eccentric man. Reno stiffened against the younger boy, definitely thrown for a loop this time. "Oh Gods, I'm a pervert. Aren't you Cloud's age? How'd you get into the bar? What?" Reno rambled, pulling away from the teenager. Zack rolled his eyes as he pulled the older man to his body once more. "Don't be a baby. I'm glad Cloud picked that oversized idiot, now I can have you all to myself." Zack cooed, pressing soft kisses against his lover's forehead. Reno sighed as he settled in against the younger boy's skin. "I'm so going to jail, sweetness." The redhead murmured, his lips and heated breath tickling the teenager.