HAVEN FOR A HEART

Author's Note: I don't own any of the characters from Law & Order Criminal Intent. The other characters in this story, Charli Donovan, Harris Donovan, Jacob & Maggie Reilly (and any others who may appear in later chapters) are my creation.

I would like to dedicate this story to my sister, spookycc, who has inspired me, encouraged me and betaed for me – as well as being the best friend/sister a person could ask for. Thanks for the title, sis!

This story takes place after Untethered and Bobby has returned to work at Major Case.

Chapter 1

Detective Robert Goren walked into Reilly's Pub with his partner, Alexandra Eames. Jacob Reilly looked up from where he was waiting on a table, calling 'hello' to them as he indicated a table for them to sit at. Jacob's niece, Charli Donovan, was behind the bar clearing the cash register from the previous evening. She looked up upon hearing her uncle's voice and felt the color drain from her face. She hadn't seen Bobby in almost 12 weeks and wasn't certain she was ready for the encounter now. There was too much between them – and most of it he was uncomfortable with.

"Hey, Charli – pour me a draft, will ya?" Martin Hawley, a daily customer, requested as he took a stool at the bar. Setting the receipts under a glass to keep them from blowing away, she reached for a glass and poured the beer with the expertise of a master bartender. She felt Bobby's gaze on her as she worked but she refused to acknowledge his presence. She was too embarrassed to face him. "Thanks, Toots," Martin smiled and Charli retrieved her paperwork to disappear into the back office.

"How've you been, Jacob?" Bobby asked his old friend.

"I should be asking you that. Maggie's been worrying herself sick over you. She wants you to come for dinner one night so she can see how you're doing," Jacob invited.

"I've been busy. There's been a lot to do between work and settling up my mother's affairs," Bobby explained, his gaze straying to the hallway Charli had just taken. "I – is Charli working here?"

"Just helping out like always," Jacob replied. "She's looking for a new teaching position but still doing my books."

"A new position? What happened? I thought St. Gregory's loved her," Alex joined the conversation. Jacob had been Alex's father's partner for a time. It had been a coincidence that the two detectives had found they had a mutual friend.

"St. Gregory's students love her – the church, however, has a negative view on unwed mother's teaching," Jacob stated, his disdain for the powers that be evident in his voice. "That girl loves teaching – loves her students and she's being ostracized for bringing a miracle into this world."

"Charli's pregnant?" Alex was pleased for the younger woman.

"What? How?" Bobby asked and realized the silliness of the question when Jacob and Eames both looked at him as if he were a child. "I – I know how she got pregnant what I mean is – she's not supposed to be able to have children. There was an accident when she was 20 - the doctors told her she'd never be able to conceive," he explained to his partner.

"It took her three trips to an OB and several home pregnancy tests before she was able to accept it herself," Jacob replied with a warm smile.

"And the father?" Bobby wanted to know.

"She's not involved with anyone and she hasn't said who the father is. Told me that it's her baby and her choice," the older man was obviously proud of the woman he loved more like a daughter. "She's a hard-headed, independent young lady."

"That she is," Bobby agreed, thoughtfully.

"But I think that there's more to the story than she's saying," Jacob glanced down the hallway to the office door. "Somebody's been giving her a hard time – she's been on edge but won't tell me what's going on."

"Do you think the baby's father might be involved?" Eames questioned.

"I thought so at first, but Charli's been insistent that he wouldn't do such a thing," Jacob replied, glancing down the hallway to the office.

Charli carried a bag of groceries along the sidewalk towards her apartment, unaware that she was being watched. She pushed in the security code and shifted the bag so that she could maneuver the door open. When someone held the door from behind, she turned to thank them only to find Bobby. He took the bag from her and motioned for her to continue into the building. She did so, silently, uncertain as to why he would be there.

"You didn't come say 'hello' today when Eames and I came by for lunch," Bobby stated almost as if he read her thoughts. Digging her key out the pocket of her blue jeans, Charli unlocked the door of her apartment and pushed it open. Switching on a light, she tossed her key on the kitchen counter.

"We haven't talked in three months – I doubted you'd want to see me," she replied softly, busying herself with emptying the bag he had set on the kitchen table.

"Jacob said that you've been having some problems," Bobby waited for her reaction. "He – he thinks that someone is harassing you."

"Jacob likes to try to mother me – I'm fine, Bobby," she hoped that she sounded calmer than she felt.

"He said that you've been getting letters – gifts. There's hang up calls at the bar and he's pretty sure that you're getting them here at home," Bobby continued. "Let me help you, Charli, please."

"It's nothing, Bobby – it's somebody that Harris hired to frighten me into coming home," she began.

"Do you have these letters and gifts?"

"Jacob insisted that I hang on to them, just in case," Charli said on a sigh, realizing that she was out of danger for the moment.

"Can I see them, please?" he requested, his tone was gentle, his brown eyes studying her pretty face.

"I don't want to be a bother, really, it's nothing," she shook her head, her long auburn hair falling over shoulders. She knew Bobby well enough to know that he wasn't going to give up without seeing the items he'd requested. "Fine – I'll get them," she said on a sigh, going into the living room. Bobby watched her as she retrieved a shoebox from the closet. Returning to where he stood, she handed him the box and returned to her task of putting away the groceries.

Sitting at the kitchen table, Bobby opened the box and took out a stack of letters – 12 in all. He read them in the order she received them, slowly before moving on to the next. Charli poured two glasses of iced tea, setting one in front of Bobby, who thanked her absently as he concentrated. Finished with the letters, he moved on to the gifts the box contained – a silver rope chain with a puffed heart locket, a diamond tennis bracelet and a crystal dolphin. Replacing all of the items back in the box, he took a long swallow of the tea before asking:

"You don't think it's the baby's father?"

Charli's eyes widened at the question but she steeled herself to remain calm. How had he found out? Jacob – she realized, her uncle was so thrilled at the prospect of a new baby joining the family.

"No – I know it's not him," she replied with a certainty that drew Bobby's curiosity. "You don't think it's Harris?" Harris Donovan was Charli's father – a violent, domineering man who used intimidation and beatings to get his daughters to do what he wanted.

"No, this isn't Harris. This is a man who's obsessed with you – in his mind, he feels that you belong to him – he believes that you and he are involved in a rather intense, intimate relationship," Bobby explained, indicating the contents of the box with his left index finger. "The gifts are his – his way of showing possession – in his world you're completely his."

"You're serious?" Charli set her glass on the counter. "You think this is someone who's infatuated with me?"

"Not infatuated – obsessed. There's a difference. This man is delusional, Charli – it could be someone that you know – or someone that you've bumped into on the street. Anything that shakes his belief – might make him violent," he told her. Picking up his glass, he studied her over the rim as he took another sip.

"I'm not the type of woman anyone would obsess over," Charli said, growing uncomfortable under his scrutiny.

"Why not?" Bobby set his glass down. "You're intelligent, funny – drop dead beautiful."

"I'm none of those things – That would be Trisha's claim to fame," she spoke softly.

"We'll need to agree to disagree on that," Bobby said, his dislike of Charli's oldest sister no secret. The woman was vain, malicious and vindictive – he didn't find her the least bit attractive. "And apparently, your friend agrees with me. After all, he's not stalking Trisha."

"Lucky me," she grumbled, turning to retrieve her glass.

"Did you plan on telling me?" Bobby asked softly, causing Charli to turn to face him. "That you're pregnant," he clarified.

"It wasn't your concern," she replied, setting her glass back down to stick her trembling hands in the pockets of her jeans.

"It's not? You didn't think I'd want to know that I'm going to be a father?" he questioned matter-of-factly, rising to his feet. At 6'4", he towered over her 5'3" frame.

"Jacob didn't tell you that because I haven't told anyone who the father is," she challenged him.

"Jacob didn't have to tell me anymore than you did. I know," Bobby's deep voice was certain and Charli heard an underlying anger in his words.

"How can you be so sure?" Charli wanted to know, aware of the heat of him in the mere inch that separated their bodies.

"You're 29 years old – and you were a virgin the first time we were together," he reminded her. "Somehow I doubt that you'd fall into bed with another man within days of sleeping with me," he reached out to smooth a strand of hair away from her cheek. "Especially considering the fact that I forced you." The pain was evident in his smooth voice.

Charli was saved from responding by the phone ringing drew and it drew Bobby's attention. He took a step back to allow her room to move by him but she didn't seem anxious to answer it. He raised a curious eyebrow and she shook her head.

"May I?" he asked, walking to retrieve the handset. Nodding her consent, she watched as he pressed the 'talk' button. "Hello?" there was a pause before he asked: "Is someone there? If you've gone to the trouble of calling, you can at least talk to me. Anytime you call, I'll be the one answering. Charli doesn't want to talk to you anymore – so either you talk to me or you need to stop bothering." Shrugging, he disconnected the call and looked to Charli: "He hung up."

"But he's not going to give up that easily, is he?"

"No. I think it would be best if you packed some clothes and come stay with me for a few days – at least until we see what this is going to do to your friend," Bobby made it sound like a suggestion but Charli knew he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.

"I'd rather not," she had never been afraid to speak her mind with Bobby. "If you think I need to have supervision, I'll go stay with Jacob and Maggie."

"That's not a good idea – if this guy decides to get violent, do you really want to put either of them in the middle?" he countered and Charli knew he was right. While Jacob was still a vital, healthy man, he was in his early 70's and Maggie's health was not at its best.

"No, of course not," she was quick to agree. "But staying with you isn't a much better alternative," she told him. Mistaking her reasons, Bobby replied:

"I want to help you out here, Charli. I'm not going to do anything to hurt you. It'll be safer for you and the baby if you stay with me. No strings attached."

"Bobby -."

"If you don't want to stay with me, I'll crash on your couch," he insisted and Charli knew there wasn't going to be anyway to convince him that she was fine alone. "It's up to you."

Giving in, she packed a small suitcase and collected several books from the living room to take along while Bobby waited patiently for her. She had missed him, but she hadn't realized how much until he'd walked into the bar earlier that day. She knew that she had to maintain a distance from him though, in order to save her heart from any further pain. She saw that he had the shoebox securely under his arm and she was grateful to see it leaving her apartment. Taking the suitcase from her, Bobby followed her out of the building.

"D – did you get your vitamins off the counter?" he asked, not having seen her pack them.

"Yes," she assured him. She had placed them in her purse while he had thumbed through the books she had set on the counter.

"Do you have morning sickness?" he pulled open the back door of his SUV, setting the shoebox and suitcase on the backseat. Taking the books from Charli, he set them on the floor, waiting for her to respond.

"It's sporadic now," she didn't want to discuss her pregnancy with him. "I need to be careful about what I eat for dinner, otherwise I'll be sick during the night."

"The baby's healthy? You're OK?" he pulled open the passenger door for her, helping her in with a gentle hand on her elbow.

"The baby's fine," she replied softly, not elaborating further.

They drove to Bobby's apartment in virtual silence, Charli watching the darkness pass through the window. She knew that Bobby's mind must be whirling with the news of her pregnancy – she still had trouble comprehending it at times. A severe beating from her father when she was 20 had left her with internal injuries and scarring that doctors had told her would make it impossible for her to ever conceive a child. The night he'd shown up at her apartment, Bobby had never thought to use a condom any of the 4 times he had made love to Charli and the fact that she was a virgin and unable to conceive had made birth control a mute point.

Arriving at the apartment, Bobby carried her suitcase into the bedroom before returning to where she had waited in the living room.

"You know where everything is so make yourself at home. Feel free to help yourself to anything you want and if you need something you can't find, just let me know," he was saying. She stood looking out the window and Bobby came to a standstill, watching her. He had known her for almost 15 years and they had developed a friendship that Bobby had come to cherish. Despite a 16-year age difference, the two had more in common than anyone else Bobby knew. Watching her where she stood, Bobby sensed a sadness in her and hated that he was the cause. "I'll crash on the couch," he broke into her thoughts, wanting to fill the silence between them. "You take the bed."

"There's no way you'd ever be comfortable on the couch," she shook off her melancholy, turning to face him. "I'll be fine out here."

"You're pregnant," he reminded her needlessly. "You'll be more comfortable in the bed."

"I can change my mind and go home, Bobby. I'm here voluntarily and I volunteer for the couch."

"Yes, ma'am," he knew better than to argue with her when she made up her mind – and at least she was standing up to him, which meant that she wasn't as angry with him as he might believe. "Jacob said that you lost your job when the powers that be found out you're pregnant," he broached the subject carefully.

"Devoted Catholics are very sensitive about women with low morals teaching their children," she replied softly, running a hand through her long, wavy hair.

"Low morals? Is that what they said?" This seemed to get a reaction out of the detective. "You're by far the most upstanding, moral person I've ever known – what right do they have to judge you?"

"The school board made their decision based on facts provided from an anonymous caller and the church stood by that decision," Charli shrugged. "I'll be fine until the baby is born. My insurance will cover all the medical expenses and between doing Jacob's books and some part-time secretarial work, I'm making a little more than I was at the school."

"But you shouldn't have to be working. You should be taking care of yourself and the baby," Bobby studied her. Uncomfortable under his scrutiny, Charli walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

"Millions of pregnant women work, Bobby. As long as I feel fine and there's no complications, I can work right up until the baby's born," she had her back to him as she ran the cold water before filling her glass. "This is my baby – I'm responsible for whatever I choose to do."

"It's my baby, too," Bobby had followed her into the kitchen and leaned back against the counter. "I want to be involved – I want to be a father to our child."

Turning to face him, Charli mimicked his position, leaning back against the opposite counter. He was so certain that he had fathered her child – and he wasn't upset by the prospect of an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy. Sipping at the cold water, she met his gaze saying:

"If that's what you want – but right now it's pretty much in my ballpark."

"I can come to the doctor with you, get you pickles and ice cream," he smiled, grateful that she hadn't turned him down flat.

"How about raisinettes and shrimp toast?" she countered and Bobby laughed.

"That's doable."

"And right now, I'm thinking that we should be thinking about dinner," she laid a hand on her stomach. "I'm getting hungry."

They searched the contents of Bobby's kitchen and decided to call for Chinese. Charli couldn't help but smile when she heard him order double shrimp toast. Locating a piece of paper and a pen, she began making a grocery list. If she was going to be staying there, she was going to have to make herself at home. Peeking over her shoulder, Bobby read what she was writing and asked her to add coffee to the list.

The tension seemed to ease a bit and Charli was happy for that. Bobby had been her friend for too many years for her to lose him. The fact that he wasn't in love with her was her problem, not his – and she should have known better than to think that he'd ever find her sexually attractive. The fact that he had regretted what had happened between them was proof of that. He had been going through a rough time and had needed comfort – she was just the most accessible woman at that moment and she had pushed the situation farther than he'd intended for it to go.

"Did Jacob tell you that the bar's been sold?" she asked when they sat across the table from each other, eating their Chinese feast. "They're having trouble finding a buyer for the house – but once they do, he and Maggie plan on traveling."

"I can't believe the house hasn't sold – it's a gorgeous old place," Bobby reached for his beer.

"I'd love to have it myself, but it's too much to take on right now," she replied absently, helping herself to another piece of shrimp toast. "How's Alex been?" she asked after his partner.

"She's good – dating a nice guy – Paul Bradley. She's rather excited that you're pregnant -," he began and Charli shot him a questioning look. "She doesn't know that I'm the father – and I didn't tell Jacob, either."

"I – I didn't tell anyone because it was my decision to keep the baby. You've spent you're entire life being responsible for situations that you had no control over – you're mother, Frank - I knew that you wouldn't want a baby with me and I don't plan on becoming one of those responsibilities," she explained, knowing he misunderstood her reaction. The fact that he hadn't said anything to her uncle or his partner was an indication to Charli that he was hesitant to reveal their 'one night stand'. "I'm not ashamed that you're the father, Bobby – I just never wanted you to think that I tried to trap you or lied to you about not being able to have children," she broke off, blushing softly at the memory of his body against hers – the feel of him inside her.

"I know you didn't lie about that – I was at the hospital with you after Harris beat you, remember?" he reminded her. "I know what the doctors told you."

Realizing what he said was true, it explained his lack of concern for protection – he knew that she couldn't get pregnant. Setting her fork on her plate, she pushed her half-eaten dinner away having suddenly lost her appetite. Some small part of her had wanted to believe that Bobby had wanted to have a baby with her but she had to let go of that dream.

"Are you alright?" he asked, thinking that she was becoming ill from the food.

"I'm fine – I just don't want to overdue it. The morning sickness isn't pleasant," she said, getting away from the table to carry her plate to the sink.

"I said something that upset you," he persisted, following her with is own plate. "Didn't I?"

"It's nothing, Bobby – my moods jump all over the place. You could say good morning and I'll cry," she tried to tease, turning to face him. Her pregnancy had actually been progressing without much discomfort at all but she had been doing considerable reading – one of the many things she and Bobby had in common. At the moment, she was glad that she could use one of the many side effects that she'd read about as a cover.

"We're going to be in close quarters until we catch your friend. We've been friends for a long time and we've always been honest with each other. Please let's not start lying to each other now – especially not now," he set his plate in the sink. "What did I say?"

"Please, don't – I'm tired and this man, if you're certain it's not Harris, has me shaken up," she explained.

"What did I say, Chuck?" he knew her – knew that he had said something that had hurt her.

"It's nothing," she would have moved around him, but Bobby placed his hands on the counter on either side of her, blocking her exit. "I'm not going to discuss this with you, please, let me go." Her voice was soft and her gaze studied a button on his shirt.

"I know you better than anyone. You can tell me anything," Bobby's own tone was barely a whisper but she heard the huskiness. Laying her hands on his chest, she pushed at him but Bobby didn't budge. She felt the heat of him through the material of his dress shirt, his tie and suit jacket having been discarded when they'd arrived at the apartment. Looking up at him helplessly, she felt the tears burn her green eyes and she repeated:

"Please, let me go."

"Are you afraid of me?" Bobby asked and Charli saw the pain in his eyes. "I swear I'll never hurt you like that again."

"I'm not afraid of you," she assured him. "I know that you won't – that you don't -," she broke off and Bobby took a step back, allowing her to move away from him. Charli walked away from him and his gaze followed her as she hurried into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

He knocked on the door, turning the knob and pushing it open. Charli was on the floor in front of the toilet, having lost the contents of her stomach. Kneeling behind her, Bobby gathered her hair in his right hand while his left hand slid around her to support her while she vomited again. Embarrassed, she would have tried to stand up but Bobby pulled her back against his chest and she felt his hand on her slightly rounded stomach.

"I'm sorry," he spoke against her temple. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I probably shouldn't have eaten as much shrimp toast as I did," she replied, reluctant to leave the warmth of his arms. "I really need to be careful what I eat." She shifted away from him and Bobby rose to his feet, holding out his hand to help her up. She allowed him to help her, turning to rinse her mouth while Bobby flushed the toilet. "Not exactly what you planned on doing tonight," she tried to lighten the mood, splashing water on her face.

"Nothing that I can't handle," he shrugged. "Just another way I can try to help – I'll hold your hair whenever you need me to," he smiled at her, studying her reflection in the mirror.

"That should be just about over – I hope," she reached for a towel to dry her face and hands.

Returning to the kitchen, they cleaned up falling into an easy conversation. Settling in the living room, Bobby picked up the books that Charli had brought with her. One was a murder mystery, another was a biography and the third was a book on pregnancy. Selecting that one, Bobby set the others on the end table and began reading while Charli called Jacob to tell him where she would be staying. She set the phone back in the charger once the call was over. Bobby glanced up at her and she said:

"Maggie's insisting that we come for dinner tomorrow night – She's been very worried about you."

"That'll be a good opportunity to tell them – about me," he added, almost hesitantly, waiting for her reaction.

"I – if that's what you want," she agreed, reaching for one of the books and settling on the opposite end of the sofa. Curling her feet beneath her she found her place and they fell silent. Bobby read a few more pages, turning his attention to Charli, studying her unnoticed for a few moments before he asked:

"Y – you're about 3 months along?" He had counted the days in his head from the night he had come to her. He had been standing in the middle of Times Square – on suspension from his job, waiting for a psych evaluation and, having written off his brother and unable to find his nephew, had found himself totally alone. As he stood there feeling helpless, the only person he wanted to see had been Charli.

When his mother had died, Charli had been the first person he called. She had come to Carmel Ridge in an effort to comfort him and had stayed with him, as a friend, taking care of him, helping him make funeral arrangements and overseeing the little details Bobby had been too preoccupied to think about. When he'd gone undercover at Tates Prison, getting himself admitted to the Mental Observation Unit in order to protect his nephew, Donny he had wound up being hospitalized from the brutality he'd suffered. He had asked Eames to call her for him – and Charli had, again, been there for him.

On the night he'd last seen Frank, he had felt lost and at his wits end. Fearing that he truly may be going insane, he had called her, asking if he could see her. Without concern for the lateness of the hour, Charli had welcomed him in – listened to him for almost two hours, offering him her friendship and warmth. A warmth Bobby took advantage of in his weakness – and Charli hadn't refused him – allowing him to use her body out of pity. Something Bobby regretted the following morning, leaving Charli knowing he'd carry the guilt of what he'd done to her with him forever.

"Yes," she nodded.

"When do you go back to the doctor?"

"Next week."

"I'd like to go with you," he told her. It was a simple statement and she knew that he was leaving it her decision whether she allowed it or not.

Alex was already at her desk when Bobby arrived the following morning. For the first time in three months, his mood seemed on a more even keel than she had seen since his mother's death. He had kept to himself and had been unusually withdrawn. In the years that they had been partners, she had learned that he talked little about himself or his family but when he had returned there was a sadness that was deep-rooted and troubling to those around him. Alex had stood by her partner, and would continue to do so, but he was unwilling to share his thoughts and feelings with her. She knew that he had learned at an early age to depend only on himself – and old habits were hard to break.

"Good morning," he said, sitting across from her. "Sorry I'm late."

"Good morning," she smiled at him. "You seem to be in a better humor today."

"I am," he agreed. "I – I dropped some things down at forensics on my way in. I – I talked to Charli last night and Jacob was right. She seems to have found herself a stalker."

"The baby's father?"

"No," Bobby shook his head. "Not the baby's father – this man is someone who's developed a fantasy life – a relationship with her that's totally in his mind. He's sent her gifts, letters – there've been phone calls. I'm sure that he follows her," he held Alex's gaze as he spoke. "He needs to know her every move."

"You think she's in danger." It was a statement, not a question.

"She could be – especially now that he's seen her with me," Bobby added. "I asked that the lab call me if they find any prints or DNA on the items I dropped off."

"You'll have to let the Captain know what you're up to," Alex pointed out.

"Considering that she's Harris Donovan's daughter, I'm sure that there won't be a problem." Despite Goren's dislike for the man, the fact that he was a well-respected city councilman with connections to the Governor and Mayor, anything concerning his family would warrant Major Case involvement.

"So did she tell you anything about the baby's father?"

"As a matter of fact, she did," Bobby knew that Alex was curious to the child's paternity. Charli had only had one serious boyfriend and they had broken up almost a year earlier when she had found him cheating on her. "It's someone that she's known for a long time – they're best of friends. He – they crossed the line one night and she made the decision to keep the baby without telling him."

"Best friends who became lovers? That could be a double-edged sword. How long since she's seen him?" she was curious.

"Until yesterday? Three months."

"Do you know him?" Her curiosity was getting the better of her.

"Better than anyone," he replied, reaching for a file on his desk.

"Does she plan on telling him?" Eames wanted to know. "Bobby?" Alex studied her partner as he focused on the paperwork in front of him. "Bobby?" she repeated. "You?" The thought alone left her speechless but at the same time, the thought that he'd have a family of his own – a chance for a stable home life warmed her. He and Charli had been friends for years and if anyone could hold their own against Bobby, Charli definitely could. The woman was almost as intelligent as Alex's partner and incredibly independent.

End Chapter 1

This is my first attempt at a fanfic – please let me know what you think.