Him.
That's all that's going through my mind even when he talks to me for 2 minutes and I end up thinking about him for the rest 23 hours and 58 minutes.
I will never ever be enough for him. I will never be able to move on. Even though I have every reason to. That's what happens when that happens I guess.
Love.
Thinking that I'll never untangle myself from him and the depth of his eyes, it's frustrating. I want to be lost in him forever. I want to be with him. I don't want anything to end.
I don't want him to go to her. I don't want to get heartbroken again.
I just wish there was a way he could show up on my doorstep.
I'd end up letting him in. He'd say he has mistaken and chose the wrong person. She wasn't what he wanted. It was what the society wanted. That I was everything he'd ever ask for. Nothing more.
Just the two of us.
In a small little cottage in the middle of nowhere. Everything enough for the both of us. Angels calling for us, us ignoring them and being wrapped around eachother oh-so tightly. Continuing from where we left off. Reading the rest of the book with passion, excitement and pure focus. Living everything we were supposed to have.
What I'm actually doing...
A cold winter night. I'm sitting here, alone at home. Middle of the rug, nowhere to go. Nothing I want to see, nothing I want to hear. Don't even want to face my fears, everything you've become.
Praying and thinking, crying and some more thinking.
That's all I do all day.
I'm overthinking everything I want to say to you, prying myself off from the thought of begging you to come back.
I know the truth. It's hurtful. It's unexpected. Remembering every detail breaks my heart over and over again.
Suddenly, the bell rings.
I don't know who it might be. I don't answer it. I don't move a muscle.
The door opens with a key.
My minds chants your name.
I can't move though. You wrap your arms around me. Breathe in my faint shampoo scent. Jasmines, your favorite.
I am once again tangled in your grip.
I don't want to get away.
So I don't.