Summary: During the resistance against Voldemort, Lee Jordan earned an audience as the host of "Potterwatch." Now, after the war, he has his own show on the WWN: "Afternoon Tea With Lee," where he's interviewing the most famous witches and wizards of the time.

Afternoon Tea With Lee

PenPatronus

Chapter One / Episode #20:

Harry Potter

At 3pm on a Friday, Lee Jordan raised his wand to his lips and winked at the man sitting across from him. "Welcome, listeners, to the one-month anniversary of the Wizarding Wireless Network's "Afternoon Tea With Lee." This is your host, Lee Jordan, coming to you live from our sponsors, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Today we have a very special guest! Witches and Wizards, I present Mr. Harry James Potter, The Boy Who Lived…Twice. Great to have you here, Mr. Potter."

"Lee, if you ever call me Mr. Potter again I'll stick one of George's decoy detonators up your…Am I allowed to say arse on the wireless?" Lee chuckled and mouthed the word "nope!" "Oops, sorry. Hey…that doesn't look like tea," Harry Potter said, using his glass of pumpkin juice to point.

"Half a shot of Firewhisky per three ounces of butterbeer, mate, on the rocks! Who said you have to drink tea on your afternoon break?"

"As a loyal listener, Lee, I feel misled. Clearly you should change the title of your program."

Lee chuckled. "Afternoon Firewhisky With Lee? Yeah, my mum would love that!"

Harry smiled and shrugged. "Still kind of rhymes!"

"Down to business, Harry," Lee scolded, looking at the parchment in his lap. "So many questions, so little time. Where would you like to start? Past, present or future? Owls have been dropping off letters here for weeks so if you want we could start with the fan mail?"

Harry took a long gulp of pumpkin juice and cocked an eyebrow at Lee over the rim of the glass. "Oh, I don't care, unless you put Veritaserum in my juice. Do your worst."

Lee brought his wand closer to his lips. "You heard him, listeners! Harry Potter has lowered his wand. Let's see what we have here…" Lee pretended to scour the parchment for a moment. "Aha! Let's start out easy. I have a Morgan from London here who wants to know, as we all do, if you wear boxers or briefs?"

Harry choked on his pumpkin juice and a laughing Lee reached across the table to thump him on the back. "Blimey," Harry sputtered, his cheeks red not only from coughing, "you call that starting easy?"

"We can dive right into the Horcrux quest, if you like? I could just owl Ginny Weasley for the answer."

Harry's blush deepened. "You leave her out of this, you brute," he mock threatened as the rest of his coughs subsided. "Boxers. The ones I'm wearing today have golden Snitches on them, if you must know."

"That can only help my ratings, mate. We already answered this next question from Lisa in Winchester. How long have you and Ginny Weasley been together now?"

Harry blushed for a different reason this time, and looked down at his feet. "How long since the Battle of Hogwarts?"

Lee glanced at his watch. "Oh about three glorious months."

"Well, I think if Ginny were here she would say that we were officially together again the day after—after that. We dated during my sixth year at school but then I—well, we had to separate while I was, you know…"

"Fancy couple you make, if I may say so myself. Wish all the best for you two, Harry, you both deserve some happiness after all this!"

"Thanks, Lee. Ginny's great, she's really…really great." Harry smiled and relaxed back into his seat with a contented sigh.

"And what are you guys up to? What are your plans now that the war is over?"

"Well, since the Battle of Hogwarts I've been helping Minister Kingsley and the Wizengamot with the Death Eater and Snatcher trials. A bunch of us have been called onto the stand as witnesses. The other day we got Stan Shunpike out of Azkaban, finally." Harry took a long sip of juice and crossed his legs. "And in September I'm going back to Hogwarts. "

"Really?" Lee asked. "Willingly? On purpose? By choice? Harry, mate, you survived Voldemort, you have a great girlfriend, there's no reason to commit suicide!"

Harry laughed. "That's exactly what Ron said, but now Hermione has convinced him to come back too!"

"And I'm sure this has nothing to do with the fact that Ginny will be at Hogwarts for her last year as well?"

The blush returned. "I'm going back, Lee, because I still have a lot to learn and I'll kind of need N.E.W.T.s to get a job!"

Lee shrugged. "George Weasley didn't need them!"

"True." Harry brought his wand closer. "And by the way, listeners, some of the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes products were pretty handy on the Horcrux quest. Shop there for Christmas!"

"Shameless, Harry. I hear you also have a godson to take care of now, too, don't you?"

"Yeah, Teddy Lupin. He's living with his grandmother but I visit him everyday. He's such a cutie—especially when he changes his hair color to match mine. Good kid."

"Now onto a question from an old classmate of ours!" Lee exclaimed, reading the parchment. "Do you remember Ernie Macmillan? Was in Dumbledore's Army with us, wasn't he? Yeah, Ernie wants to know if you have any heroes? Anyone you admire?"

"Know him? The bloke has a hell of a Patronus—saved my life once, Ron and Hermione's too during the Battle of Hogwarts. Hello to you, Ernie, if you're listening. Do I have any heroes?" Harry cocked his head to the side for a moment, and his eyes took on a faraway glaze. Lee waited patiently, as did the rest of the Wizarding world. "Well, many," Harry said finally.

"Name a few," Lee encouraged.

"Well, there's my mum and dad," Harry said as he shifted in his chair. "James and Lily Potter. They, uh, died trying to protect me when I was a baby, but I guess you all know that…Then there's my godfather, Sirius, and Albus Dumbledore." Harry sat up straighter and began to talk in earnest. "And Ron and Hermione—that is Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, they're my best friends and they're amazing people, they really are…" He grinned feebly at Lee, unsure of what to say.

Lee gestured towards the wands, "Why are they so amazing, Harry?"

"Well, uh," Harry's hands flailed as he desperately searched for the words. "I dunno… Hermione…she's really really smart, like, you don't even know. And she has a moral compass that is just—" Harry made an awkward chopping motion with his hand, "just right on. And Ron…his bravery and—and sacrifice—and his loyalty and humor…

"I can't put it into the right words but…I couldn't of done—done what I did if it weren't for them. People give me so much credit for Voldemort's downfall but the real truth is that if it weren't for Ron and Hermione I wouldn't be here so, so I guess neither would, you know, the world as—as we know it."

Lee smiled. He opened his mouth and got out the first syllable of his next word when suddenly Harry interrupted.

"Oh! I forgot, sorry, I forgot—is it ok if I, if I mention one last person?"

Lee waved his hand, palm up, inviting Harry to continue. Harry leaned forward on the table and rested his chin in his hands, nearly muffling his voice.

"My biggest hero is Severus Snape. He was…such a git when we were in school, do you remember?" Harry chuckled and Lee rolled his eyes and nodded in agreement. "He was always giving us Gryffindors a hard time and nitpicking our potions…But if there's one thing I understand now it's how irrelevant all of that was in the big picture. He…no one, no one worked harder to take down Voldemort than Severus Snape."

Lee cocked an eyebrow, and the audience could surely hear it in his voice. "Really? I mean, I've heard the rumors but what about Dumbledore, and you?"

Harry shook his head determinedly. "No one. The—the sacrifices he made…the lengths he went to protect me, and the students at Hogwarts while he was headmaster…the personal risks he took…the skills he had are just incredible to comprehend. If it weren't for his prowess at Occlumency…Well. Severus Snape was a very powerful wizard who didn't have a single bloody thing to gain from resisting Voldemort but still he undermined him. I can't imagine myself being able to do all of the things that he did…I can barely comprehend anyone being able to do it. I guess that's why Severus Snape's my hero." Harry took an audible deep breath.

Lee nodded solemnly and leaned forward onto his hands as well, mimicking Harry's posture. "I've heard some people say that they thought you'd gone mental when you revealed that Snape and Dumbledore had planned his death. But as I understand it we'll all be finding out the details soon, won't we? Rumor has it that you gave Hermione Granger permission to write a book?"

"My permission? Well that sounds bad but yeah, well, you know me I hate doing interviews but I understand how important it is for everyone to know—to know what's happened in the past few years…"

"I had to bribe him to do this interview, listeners," Lee said, looking at his wand as if he could see through it and into his audience's eyes. "Managed to get my hands on a few Veelas…"

"No, no, no" Harry laughed. "You're a friend, this is a favor, and I knew you wouldn't make this difficult!"

"Hermione has agreed to come onto the show in a few weeks but can you give us a sneak preview, Harry? What is this book about?"

"Well…" Harry ran his hands through his black hair and frowned. "All of our—that is, Ron, Hermione and I—our ideas are just works-in-progress right now, really. Actually, Hermione suggested this project first as nothing more than a therapeutic technique!" Harry let out a short crack of a laugh and rolled his eyes at the image he had of Hermione in his mind. "At this point it's part biography—that is, Hermione telling people what I've told her about my life, uh, a bit—and about the lives of people involved in mine: Dumbledore, Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Neville Longbottom, Rubeus Hagrid, Dobby…but it's mostly about everything that has happened since, well, actually since Voldemort was a child if you want the whole story! Only a few of us left know the details, see, and Hermione says the Wizarding World is really curious, that they have the right to know…"

"Aha! I've heard rumors that Voldemort's childhood wasn't too different from yours, Harry! Bit ironic, eh?"

"Yeah…" Harry shifted a little uncomfortably. "And I don't really understand why people are so interested in me but I guess I would be if it, uh, if it wasn't me—I practically interrogated Neville about what he did with Dumbledore's Army while I was gone—Ha, it's crazy, Neville, Ron and Hermione have been approached by journalists wanting to buy their life stories! Mental!"

Lee shook his head and raised a fist. "After all the mud Rita Skeeter has slung about you since you were 14 I don't blame you for wanting to set the story straight yourself! I think this book is a great idea."

Harry nodded in agreement. He looked relieved to find that Lee understood. "Hermione says that this generation has to learn about this history so that…something about not repeating mistakes." Harry adopted an apologetic expression. "I'm sure Hermione will explain it all better."

"Great Harry, thanks, looking forward to that! Let's switch to cheerier subjects for a spell, shall we?" Lee propped his legs up on the table and looked down at his parchment again. "Here, I'll just ask these in quick succession and you can just answer likewise, all right? Good. Favorite color?"

"Green."

"Favorite Quidditch team?"

"The Cannons."

"Favorite subject in school?

"Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"And your favorite professor?"

"Oh it was great when Remus Lupin taught DADA, it really was."

"Least favorite?"

"Well…I'm not too fond of the few who tried to kill me…"

"Who would you say knows you the best?"

"Oh. Well, Hermione I guess. Ginny, too, but Hermione has known me the best the longest."

"Happiest moment of your life?"

Harry's grinned stretched so far that it nearly slid off his face. "In retrospect, definitely the moment that Hagrid told me I was a wizard. Oh, and it was pretty great when he gave my cousin Dudley a pig's tail."

"He did what?" Lee managed to speak through waves of laughter. He wiped a tear away. "Well I hope we hear about that in the book! Harry, we're out of time, mate, but I hope you're up for one last question? That is, the last question before you come back on the show?"

"Of course, Lee."

Lee seemed to steel himself, and when he asked the final question he did so with slightly less composure in his voice. "No one was immune to losing loved ones during the war…Is there anyone specific you really miss? Anyone you wish you could spend time with again if you had the chance?"

Harry immediately opened his mouth, but closed it just as fast. It seemed as if he wanted very badly to tell Lee and the audience something, but against his better judgment he couldn't. He thought for a long moment, and though the program had gone overtime a few minutes the WWN wasn't about to interrupt.

"I'd say Sirius—Sirius Black, my godfather, and I miss Albus Dumbledore a lot—but really I—I really really miss Fred. Uh, Fred Weasley? He was killed in the Battle of Hogwarts," Harry explained for the audience's sake. "He brought—he and his twin, George, too—brought more joy and laughter into this world than—than Voldemort and the Death Eaters could ever, ever take from it…"

Lee swallowed several times, and decided that he couldn't have put it any better than that.

"Thanks, Harry, thanks for your time. And thanks for yours, listeners!" Though no one could see them, Lee and Harry shook hands and smiled at each other, a smile for Fred.

"Have a great evening, folks! Until Monday at three this is "Afternoon Tea With Lee!"

Mischief Managed

(but will be continued)