Unbearable

A/N: I'm REDOING THIS HORRIBLE CHAPTER OF UGLINESS. Thanks.

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It was unbearable to see him like that, happily enjoying his regular life without his shinigami powers. Or fighting hollows and dealing with ghosts.

But, the most unbearable thing was that he was enjoying without her. Not even a look of forlorn or a glance in his closet for a chance to see her.

It was like, he had forgotten about her. It was the worst possible thing to see. She had just gotten a year break from her duties in Soul Society, since she had played a great part in protecting it. So, she decided to spend it in the human world in her gigai to finally be with her human friends again. Namely, Ichigo.

But, as she was just taking a walk through the shopping plaza, she saw him holding hands with Orihime. Her heart breaking, she heard them laughing without a care in the world. Jealousy did not flow through her, but sadness did.

"Oh, I shouldn't have come. Maybe he did forget. If he had seen me, everything that he had done to get a normal life has been wasted. It is probably for the best if I left him." She thought sadly to herself. Shuddering and breathing in a shaky breath, clenching and unclenching her fists, she turned around quickly to get as far as possible away.

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"Are you sure your hands are that freezing?" He laughed, testing his hands on Orihime's. Red quickly appeared on her face and she stuttered while talking.

"Y-Yes! But yours are.. so..warm," Her voice dropping down to a whisper of embarrassment.
She turned around to look at the shops, but from the window display's reflection she caught a glimpse at someone she had not seen in a year.

"..Rukia?"

Ichigo instantly turned around to search for the raven-haired shorty.

"Where?"

"Ichigo.. you have to let her go."

"Not when she's right in front of me!"

He searched desperately for a few minutes, scanning the crowd as fast as he could. Finally, he had spotted her.

"R-Rukia?" He gasped, quickly letting go of Orihime and made his way through the crowd to her.

He grabbed Rukia's arm and yanked her around, seeing her face after a long time. But all that happiness disappeared when he realized she was crying.

Anger instantly flared on his face as he dragged her away from the busy crowd. Leaning in, he touched her tears on her cheeks gently caressing them.

"What happened? Who did this to you?" He gently whispered, she was in a very vulnerable state right now. No good in shouting and pressuring her.

"Nothing. I just .. yawned. Yeah, that's it." She tried to grin while rapidly wiping her tears away.

She's lying again, he thought. She never improved on her acting, and now she's going to lie in my face while she's obviously crying? His frustration finally snapped.

"Please tell me. Rukia..?" He wanted to keep on talking to her. To keep on interacting with her, touching her so she couldn't be gone. It felt like she could slip away from him any minute.

"I was just overwhelmed with memories, okay? I mean, I hadn't gone back in over a year and I see you.. having fun. Without me, it just felt slightly painful. What is that called..?"

"Loneliness.."

Unable to stand her distraught face, he bent and hugged her small form. Both of them weakly smiled, and Ichigo led them back into the busy crowd.

Orihime smiled a little, knowing that she had lost the battle. Ichigo couldn't be taken away, because he had found the one for him. She laughed to herself, what was she thinking taking an already taken man?

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Ichigo and Rukia both sat themselves on the bench, eating a couple of hotdogs.

"I had..a year long break from duties. It was a reward from Yamamoto." She grinned at the break she was rewarded, taking a small bite at the steaming hotdog in front of her.

"That's why! You're staying here for the whole year right?" He said hopefully, wanting to be near her. Getting back a year of memories that they had lost.

"Yes, but it seems I'm not remembered here. I'm probably ruining your date with Orihime, I should go." Her eyes were shadowed over, and her tone carried no emotion as she gently stood up from the bench.

"W-We weren't on a date! Besides, no. I'm not letting you go again. Let's go tell all our friends." Trying to cheer a depressed Rukia was hard, as he was soon about to find out.

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An Hour Later 3

"Rukia!"

Ichigo's dad, Karin, and Yuzu exclaimed with happiness. They all ran forth and embraced her happily and trying (but not successfully) holding back tears. She had been gone awhile and Yuzu had believed that Rukia had moved away and would not be coming back ever.

Rukia cheered up a little but was still depressed. Knowing that the second she was gone after the year was over, Ichigo would move on. But what kind of person would she be, to hold back someone who wasn't even rightfully hers?

"Can I talk to you, Rukia-chan?"

"Er, yes, Yuzu-chan?" Rukia was curious, why did Ichigo's gentle sister want with her?

"You know, the year that you were gone. Something didn't feel right at home. Ichigo started being distant, it was only today that he had gone out. Just for fun, of course."

Yuzu turned towards Rukia. They had both been sitting on Yuzu's bed in her room, with a steaming pot of tea in front of them. Rukia absentmindedly reached for a cup.

"Really?"

"Yeah. One time, when I went to deliver Ichigo's lunch.. I found him in his classroom all alone. He was staring distantly out of the window. After I left his lunch on his desk, he hadn't even noticed me. Before I left the classroom, I heard on single word that come out of his mouth. 'Rukia'."

After hearing those words, she suddenly burst into tears.

"I thought they forgot about me. I saw..they..were having such a great time without me. Of course it's great they moved on, but how could they .. forget about me? Ichigo was having a lot of fun and I just felt so left out." She confessed everything that was on her mind, except one thing. That he would hang out with Orihime, who had seemed like a girlfriend to him. She suddenly thought of a memory 2 years ago..

Flashback

"Ichigo, can I be your girlfriend?" She just suddenly blurted it out. After reading articles and articles of boyfriends from teen magazines, she had wanted to experience it before she had to leave.

"W-WHAT?" Choking on the soda he was chugging down, he gasped for air.

"I want to know what it feels like." She said matter-of-factly, not knowing what it meant.

"Well, it's…it's like, happiness I guess? Never had a girlfriend before." He pouted just realizing it, what a loser he was, not having a girlfriend yet living with a female that wasn't his family.

"Hm, then let this be an experience! Before I leave forever, don't know when, but let's just be together just once. Then we can say we already had one!" She said happily with the compromise.

"Sure. But, not now. Certain things have to be developed." He sheepishly said, not wanting to explain the difficulties of "feelings" and "love" or "like". Heck, he blushed at the thought of Rukia saying "I love you."

Present

"It's not like that. Even though it seems that we've moved on, we always kept you in our hearts." Leaning closely, because she noticed that someone's shadow was at the door (probably Ichigo), she whispered, "Especially Ichigo. He's always staring at that photograph you two took together."

Laughing at Rukia's beet red face, she walked noisily over to the door and opened it with a yank. Ichigo had the right sense to pretend he was just walking by, and pretended to be surprised at Rukia's crying face.

"Why are you crying, Rukia?" He quickly walked over to her shaking figure, and carried her over to his room. After shutting the door, he turned to face her and admitted to listening in to the conversation.

Rukia froze with terror, what would he say now, would he be angry at her being sad at them moving on? Prepared to be lashed out on, she shut her eyes fearing for the worst.

"I didn't know you felt that way. I'm sorry." Sitting on his bed he shook his head while his hands were covering it. How could I be so stupid, if I had known she was coming, if I had SENSED her presence I would've searched for her. But my powers.., he thought while smacking himself.

"Stop! Ichigo!" Rukia cried out in concern to stop him from continuing. Her words wouldn't reach him, so she did the only thing she could do. She hugged him, the sudden warmth from her made him shocked. Finally, not having enough will to stop his tears, he cried.

"Why are you crying, baka?" She said laughing with her tears.
"I wanted to cry ever since I saw you, because I thought I would never see you again." He confessed, and finally poured his heart out in his tears. They cried while embracing each other, and continued hugging after they fell asleep. Ichigo held her tightly in his arms while they drifted off to sleep.

One Year Later of Fun (More description in my one shot-Moments of Happiness)

Rukia stood up suddenly from her desk, covering her mouth with her hand in shock. She reread the article in the newspaper, "18 year old, Kurosaki Ichigo, who is the savior of Soul Society has just died from a motorcycle accident. The funeral is to be held on Tuesday, at 4 o' clock at the town he grew up in. Hope for him to place in the Shinigami Academy are high and is confirmed by Yamamoto himself. 'He was –ehhem- smart, active, brave, and courageous. He would make an excellent Shingami.'"

Tears streaked across her cheeks, why couldn't she have stayed longer? He wouldn't have died then, if only she had.. Regret filled her conscious and she did not eat or sleep at all. The time for the funeral was the only time she would get out of her room. She dressed beautifully for his funeral while in her gigai.

Most of the shinigami were surprised at her appearance, she had tried to look her best at Ichigo's funeral and since she had grew out her long hair she had the appearance of Byakuya. She quietly left the Seikaimon. Strolling through the towns of Karakura Town, people turned to stare at the tall beauty. One thought crossed their minds, why did she seem so stone cold? An unmoving face was the only thing people focused on at the service. The Kurosaki family knew that Ichigo was very special to her and expected her to be more broken down.

When it was her turn to go see Ichigo's coffin, she just touched his face and spilled only one tear. After leaving, she never smiled or laughed again.

A few days had passed since the funeral and the mood in her office was ice cold. Anyone who stepped in shivered automatically and stuttered for fear of Rukia lashing out on them. When she was like this, they would often whisper that she had turned into the exact replica of Byakuya and he himself hated it. He missed the sister that would always panic whenever he was near her and that it felt like he was responsible for not protecting her from sadness like he promised to for Hisana.

"Stop acting this way, Rukia." He said coldly, trying to scare her into being her old self again.
"I do not know what you are talking about, Byakuya." She replied in the same tone. It was a sibling argument, even though they don't yell at each other. Strange siblings we have here don't you think?

"If you don't have anything else to say, I'm leaving." She stood up, and despite the calm protests from her brother she stepped out into the air. Sighing heavily, she thought at why others are trying to get her to liven up. She has to repent for not being there when Kurosaki died, so if she has to act this way, then so be it.

She had taken a quiet walk around the wild flower pasture outside of the Court of Pure Souls. It was then that she bumped into a stranger. Not even changing the emotion on her face, she muttered a sorry and was about to make her way past the man.

"Rukia!" Hearing her name in a voice she knows oh-so-well, she turned back trying to see if she was imagining things.

It was Ichigo definitely, with a different hairstyle. He had longer hair just like when he was in his form when fighting Aizen. He had a happy face plastered on as he said her name again.

"Rukia. I thought, I would never meet you again." He then pulled her in a long embrace and she finally lost her composure and cried with happiness.

"How could you find me? You must've come a long way." She asked curiously.

"Long story."

"Sit down, we have time." She pointed to a wooden bench and patted the spot next to her. Ichigo settled down and began to tell his story.

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Five Hours Ago

"Wha- Where am I?" Ichigo looked around, confused. He had remembered that he died a moment ago. Was he in the Spirit World already?

"Look who's here." A young voice spoke behind him. Ichigo quickly turned around, reaching for his Zanpakutō. The realizing instantly that he wasn't a shinigami anymore, he raised his hand to the voice.

It was Toshiro. And he had grown a foot, making him seem slightly taller. Ichigo broke into a smile, walking quickly towards the midget.

"Do you know where I am?"

"Yes, you are in my hometown district. I'm visiting my grandmother. Want to come?"

"You know that I died right?"

"Who doesn't?"

After he had visited the nice grandmother of Toshiro's, he had gotten directions to go to the Court of Pure Souls. It had been a long time since he had used his shinigami powers, so it took him longer than usual to flash jump.

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He finished his story, suddenly grinning. He happily pulled her into a hug again. He wanted to confirm that Rukia was real, who was right front of him.

"You've grown more beautiful, Rukia." He smirked, laughing at her flushed face.

"B-Baka!" She said hitting him hard. Then realizing that she should report him to Yamamoto in order for him to get promoted, she dragged him to the Court of Pure Souls.

"Chief Yamamoto! I found Ichigo!" Hearing her loud eager voice stunned everybody that was in the main building at that time. They smiled knowing that it was Ichigo who did this.

As soon as he finished a talk with Yamamoto, he was promoted to be the second-in-command of the whole 13 Division squad. Months have passed and Ichigo spent more and more time with Rukia slowly melting her iced heart.

Finally, the day of truth had come.

"Rukia, you know how you asked me back when I was still alive that you wanted to be my girlfriend?"

He asked suddenly one day as he was cleaning out his desk. Dropping her papers, the surprised Rukia replied, "Yes, I do remember. What about it?"

"Want to try it now?"

"Didn't you say that we had to have a 'special' feeling towards each other?"

"I have that feeling now."

"W-What?"

"Do you?"

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A/N: Because of my disappointment for any of the writers (that I could see on the first page) for not suggesting that Rukia could've used her gigai to communicate with the Living World, I have decided to make my own. Well, what do you think? RxR!

I'm taking a little break from Katekyo Hitman Reborn, and I will resume tomorrow since I released the final chapter to Loving Opponents today