You drive me crazy, man, ya know that? Yer pig-headed and selfish, arrogant and cowardly, and ya whinge on about how everything is everyone else's fault other than yours. But sometimes, despite everything, I find myself feelin' sorry for you. I see that yer hurtin'. I see that yer lonely; and after that trip to that God-forsaken moon, I know how messed up yer mind is. I feel bad for you; you even make me feel compassion towards you. And I try to be kind to you, but it's not easy 'cause you're such a smeghead!
Yer drivin' me crazy.
In the same breath you make me soft toward ya, and then ya make me wanna scream. Sometimes ya make me think yer almost a friend, and then ya go an' make me hate you all over again. Yer a smeggin' roller coaster ride, man, and I don't need that! Not out here. I don't need to be worryin' over whether or not you'll betray us or if yer gonna be snarky or unexpectedly nice when I'm fightin' off simulants and psirens and G.E.L.F.s and smeg! I don't need that!
Smeg. What the smeg was Holly thinkin'?
But still, all the same, yer part of the crew. The boys from the Dwarf. One of the posse. And no matter how much ye drive me out o' me skull, I'll still be there for ya, man. 'Cause that's what we do, all alone out here. We may not'a chosen each other, but we're all we have left. And maybe… maybe someway we need each other.
Smeg; this smeg is too deep. I need another beer. An' maybe a midnight curry. All'a this is givin' me a headache.
Just one more thing: You're really somethin', ya know that? I just don't get you, man. Maybe that's why Holly picked you, to give me somethin' to figure out. But no matter why he went out o' his mind and picked you ta keep me company, I know one thing fer sure:
Ya drive me crazy!
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'd REALLY, REALLY love to hear what you think about this, and if you think I've captured Lister's thoughts correctly. :) Feedback is always loved!