A/N: Have you ever wondered what sort of words you think our lovable SD characters would never say in the yaoi fandom? Here, I list (with contributions from my SDFC Babble Forum pals) the unlikeable quotes that would come out from them - not counting any supernatural influence, drugs or too many knocks on the head :p
What You Do Not Expect the SD Characters To Say
or in short
"Say What?"
By: Noor
Hanamichi: Wow! Rukawa! You are the best!
anamichi: Haruko? Eww! Girl-cooties!
Hanamichi: Bash me again, great captain, and show me the folly of my ways!
Hanamichi to Anzai-sensei: Are you sure I can do this, sensei? I mean, I think the guys can do fine without me...
Hanamichi: *sits demurely and sips tea* I say, ol' chap, can you pass me the sugar?
Sendoh: Don't you know I announced myself to celibacy until I get married?
Sendoh: Hmm.. I think I'm going to change my hairstyle this year. Maybe a Don King hairdo or some orange dye...
Rukawa: I am not an introvert. I just lack the words to express myself fully. And I want you to know that I don't only like basketball but also walks along the beach at sunset, candlelight dinner, soap operas... blah, blah, blah... How do I feel about Hanamichi? He is just a fool but if you delve inside his mind you can see that all he needs is guidance to self-acknowledgement... I'm not saying that he's not already such a brag but what I mean about self-acknowledgement is the spiritual kind... blah, blah, blah...
Rukawa: Oh my GOD! I can't sleep! What'll I do?
Haruko: Eh? Rukawa? That cold sod? *laughs hysterically*
Haruko to Akagi: Oh c'mon, bro, loosen up.
Akagi: Group hug! Group hug!
Akagi: I'm afraid I have to skip today's practice because I have a flower-arrangement class this afternoon.
Koshino: Get ready, Sendoh! Here I come, lover!
Aota: Actually, that chase on Haruko is just a trick to trap the gorgeous Hanamichi...
Ayako: From now on I'm not going to hit on you guys again *crumples paper fan*. I'm just going to let you guys fight because people say that fighting is a way to express on how you feel, an outlet of anger and stress. I, too, am going to join in. BANZAIII!
Anzai-sensei: You stupid kids!
Kogure to Mitsui: You're just a wash-up three-point shooter, Mitsui. Wake up and smell the flowers.
Mitsui: I just can't do this! I'm too weak! I want my mommy! Waahh!
Mitsui to Anzai-sensei: Die, old man! Die!
Kiyota: Hanamichi! Oh pal, oh buddy! Let me treat you to a bowl of ramen or something!
Maki: I feel sooo insecure...
By: Pastles
Akagi: Basketball is such a stupid game, I think I shall go and take up ballet... (hee hee inspiration from Pojz's fic...)
Sendoh: Hiro-kun, I think you would suit someone better, someone like Rukawa...
Rukawa: Yeah, I need more basketball like Hanamichi needs more ego...
Hanamichi: You know, I think I might not be that smart after all, what do you think Rukawa?
Rukawa: No, that's not really true, you have one of the brightest mind that I've ever seen
Fujima: Hanagata! I don't know what to do? ARGH! HELP!
Maki: Do you think that I need a tan?
Kiyota: I like monkeys... really! I really do!
Koshino: glomps AKIRA!
By: Sunfire
Ryota: Ayako, you should go lose some weight.
Kogure: (to the team) You want some water? Go get them yourselves .. hn!
Anzai points gun at Ryonan's coach: *frown* Omae o korosu...
Haruko: *holds up sword* By the honour of the universe ... I am SHE-RA!
Rukawa in Pokemon mode: Pi-kaaaa-chu!
Akagi: Oh you mean the match was yesterday? *rubs head and turns to Shohoku team* All right .. pack up .. lets go home and party!
Mitsui in his gangster long hair: Guys... I have decided to perm my hair ... *points to a DDR poster*
By: Tsuki
Hanamichi: You know, maybe I shouldn't have kicked the crap outta Mitsui.
Rukawa: Baskeyball? Are you crazy? I don't have enough hannd-to-eye coordination to dribble and not fall onto my face! Hahahahahahahhahahaha! Basketball indeed.
Rukawa Brigade: Rukawa? Who's that? Oh him? He's worthless! And not all that cute either!
Sendoh: No, that's quite all right. I've sworn off girls for the rest of my life. And guys too, Hiro-kun. I've decided I'm going to join a monastary.
Akagi: Can't we all just get along?
Koshino: Hanamichi, you really shouldn't lose your temper so easily. *tsk tsk*
Koshino: Take me, Haruko, I'm yours.
Mitsui: Megane-kun? Are you nuts? He looks like a beaver with a vision impairment.
Miyagi: Ayako? That uncute tomboy with the endless array of fans? Hell no! I like my head bump free!
Anzai-sensei: I really think you kids should think of new hobbies...
Hanamichi: Hey, leave that kid alone! What am I going to do about it? gulp I'll just quietly walk away...ARGH! HELP!
By: Virgo
Akagi: *singing* I feel like a natural woman!
Rukawa Brigade: SA-KU-RA-GI! SA-KU-RA-GI! L-O-V-E, SA-KU-RA-GI!
Rukawa: Go Sendoh! You da bomb!
Rukawa: Panties! Panties!
Happosai: Ah, my best student, yet!
Rukawa: Sakuragi or Sendoh... I can't decide! I must have them both!
Sendoh: Eek! Pervert!
Ayako: *waving fan* Lekka Shien!
Mitsui: I can't fight you! I might break a nail!
Miyagi: You're so mean!
Mitsui: I didn't mean it, honest!
Miyagi: Yes you did! You think I'm short and fat! *full wail*
Uozumi: Who's that hot buff of stuff over there?
Aida: I have no idea.
Kogure: C'mon, everybody! Let's all go to a biker bar, get plastered and pick up some strippers!
Kiyota: *in a cultured voice* Welcome to Masterpiece Theater.
Haruko: That's it! I'm dropping out of school and becoming a dyke!
Akagi: Peace, calm... you must have good karma. Breath in the good air, breath out the stress...
Anzai: *full hippie gear* Far out, man...
Murasame: *singing* I love you! You love me!
Past Dumpers: Sakuragi I love you!
Sakuragi: *running in opposite direction* Stay away!
Akagi: Alright! One more time!
Entire cast: *singing and dancing* YMCA!
By: Toko
Sendoh: Oh my God, I'm naked!
Anzai sensei to Hana: I will teach you. I will be your Yoda. Backwards I will talk until smack me you will want to.
Rukawa: Wazzup Girlfriend? Oh. My. God. You'll never guess who I bumped into on the train today. HIM! You know... HIM. squeel Could you just DIE? So I went up to him and I'm all, "hi," then he was like, "hey," then I'm all... blah blah blah...
Uozumi: I feel pretty.
Akagi: Does this dress make me look fat?
Sakuragi: *groan* All that ramen I just ate is going to go straight to my thighs...
Kogure: I think my butt's begining to sag...
Rukawa: Oh my god I'm naked!
Rukawa Mitsui and Akagi: More rich chocolate Ovaltine please! *cheesy smile*
Haruko: I'll kill you. I will kill you until you die.
Maki: It's good to be the king.
Akagi: I wish I were as smart as Tensai Sakuragi Hanamichi-sama...
Rukawa to his shineitai: I feel neglected... *sniffle*
Rukawa: You cannot say to a rainbow, "Hey rainbow, stop being a rainbow!" Such is Mango.
Kiyota: *big sparkly eyes* Rukawa-sama? He's my hero! I want to be just like him when I grow up.
Akagi: Oh be nice!
Maki: Oh my god, I'm naked! (-One track mind)
Fujima: Nice ass!
Sakuragi: So, What is your speculation on comparative embryology? I myself tend to disagree with the theory that ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny...
Rukawa: *singing to Hana* I want to f*** you like an animal, I want to feel you from the inside...
By: Enilyn
Rukawa: Oh, how beautiful I am!
Hanamichi: No, please, don't hit me...I beg you, you're scaring me...no...please...*buaaaaaa*
Anzai: Let's party! *throws confetti*
Ayako to Ryota: You poor thing...
Ryota to Ayako: Get your hands off me, you $%&/!
Akagi: Ohhh...cherry blossom it's sooooo great...let's skip practice for today and pick up some flower for Jun-chan...
Kogure: Don't dare messy with me! *raises a clenched fist*
Koshino: *passionately* Yes, Sendoh, take me!
Sendoh: *blushing* No, no, please Hiro-kun, I'm not ready for this!
Hanamichi: Let me follow you, Rukawa-sama, my spiritual guide!
Rukawa: No, that's not right, Sakuragi-sama, let's confront each other as equals!
Haruko: Let's give the guys some encouragement...ehi, guuuuuuuys! *'You sexy thing' theme starts* Let's strip!
Hanamichi: Oh, no, Haruko! You're more fat than what I believed!
Rukawa: *perverted laugh* Finally I can see her butt!
Hikoichi: F%&k you, Sendoh!
by Minako
Yuki: WAAAAIII! HANAMICHI-KUN NO KAWAIII! *swoon*
Haruko: HEY! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING DURING OUR PE CLASS? HEEENTAAAAIII!
(remember the chapter where Aota pops out? I'm sure you will! ^^).
Nobunaga: Awww! You're so sweet! * sniffle *
Kogure (during a fight): Faster, Mitsui! Kill! Kill!
Norio: Waaahh! I'm so scared!
Yohko (only for the anime): Hey you gals! Oda's my boyfriend so SHUT UP!
Yohei : Hanamichi ? Our relationship is just a fool... All I wanted since I met him is to f%$&/ his $$...
Takamya : I'm on a diet now. That's very serious, man. No bananas for three months.
Sakuragi Gundam : Money is not important. We all believe in friendship.
Kogure : I don't like animals. That sucks. If my tee-shirts have drawings of them, it's just 'cause I don't want to break my *so gently* reputation.
Mitsui : You know, man, I'm a Teletubbies addict. Kogure : Really ? I prefer SouthPark.
Tetsuo : It's done ! I have my official member card of Tom Hanks fan club ! [you can change Tom Hanks with any name of any romantic and kindly star]
Miyagi to Aota : Don't cry! I know what it is to be too short. I'm short, and I'm proud of it ! Face the reality, Aota, and we'll show them that we can be as good as they are... even if we're short. Aota : Speak for yourself, my legs are short, but I'm not. Miyagy : Don't lie. Be proud !
Ayako : I want you Ryo-chan.
Miyagi : Hey, see my earring ? In some countries it means I'm gay ! So take off your hands from me !
Ayako : Oh, sorry... Hmm... So you don't mind if I jump on Mitsui-senpai ?
Miyagi : Don't even think 'bout it. He's my future boyfriend.
Hanamichi : Yohei ? Our relationship is just a fool. I use him to get money.
Rukawa : Sakuragi... I... You know I'm... erm... [in a very quiet voice] virgin. So, I... I'm not very sure... Can't we just stay all dressed... in the dark...
Akagi : If I'm so protective with Haruko-chan, it's 'cause she's not my sister. She was adopted... And I love her. But how a so sweet girl could love a gorilla like me ? T.T
Hanamichi : Don't worry, Take-chan, I'll always be there for you...
by Star
Rukawa: *singing gleefully* I... want to f*~/ a dog in the $$!
Myagi: *sniffle* I want to slamdunk like the others!
Mitsui: You can stand on my shoulders if you want ^^
Anzai: What the hell do you call that! Playing? A bunch of baboons could do better!
Koshino: *singing* I want to change the world! (Inu-Yasha theme)
Yohei: Brothers, sisters, we are gathered here today to celebrate this most joyous occasion. The joining, in holy matrimony of Akagi Haruko and Uozumi Jun...
Rukawa: My friends are very important to me...
Sendoh (to therapist): I've been feeling so depressed recently, I just want to cry!
Mitsui with long gangster hair: If I platted it into bunches, do ya think it'd make me less imposing?
Sendoh: S&M? What's that? Smile and make up?
Rukawa: ...as are my fans.
Hanamichi (with help from Hana-Ling): Fight? Hate? Goodness me no! Go in peace, my furry tailed fox.
Yohei: (after fight with Mitsui) Y'know, it's not the winning, but the taking part that counts.
Rukawa: I've found my true vocation in life... I want to be a milkman.
Myagi: What do you think of my new platform boots?
Kogure: I think I'll go gothic this season...
Kyota: I'm going to run away with the circus.
Jin: I love spandex!
Rukawa: I have a confession, I'm addicted to caffeine...
Maki: *singing* you're so yo-ung at heart!
Sendoh: Hiro-kun... have you been doing the housework in the nude again? The neighbours have complained...
Maki: Hanamichi Sakuragi-sama is having a party! What am I going to wear!
Jin: Alright! Let's go trash the place!
Hanamichi: *at the party* oh no! Someone's put my favourite spice girls cd in the microwave!
Akagi: *singing* don't blame it on the sunshine!
Rukawa: Haruko... will you slow dance with me?
Haruko: Hell no... b****r off!
Aida: I feel so out of place... I don't know anyone here!
Rukawa & Fujima in cheer leading outfits singing to entire cast: You hate us cos we're beautiful, but we don't like you either! (from 'gotta have it')
Koshino: Sendoh... I don't think our relationship is working out...
Sendoh: What's your point?
Koshino: I think we should have a more 'new age' approach to our love making...
Sendoh: *blushes* how d'ya mean?
Koshino: *hollers* Sakuragi! Rukawa! You can come in now!
Sendoh: *pukes* ugh! That's sick!
Jin: Oh god... faster! Faster!
Maki: I... *pant* ... can't... *pant*... I think my *pant* hip replacement is *pant* working lose!
Ru: Basketball game? What basketball game? Do you think I have time to play basketball? I'm a very busy young man, you know! I don't have time for basketball! ...zzz...
Mitsui: *To those three guys that always cheer for him* You guys aren't loud enough! Yell! Yell yell yell!
Ru: to Rukawa Shinetai: Are you gonna let them beat you? YELL!
Kogure: How come I never get a fanclub... humph...
By: Nywexia
Hanamichi: *grovels before Ru* Oh, Rukawa-sama, please teach your humble servant the fine arts of basketball... *kisses Ru's feet*
Anzai: Let's do the macarena! C'mon, everybody!
Uozumi: Does this make my butt look fat?
Akagi: I'm sorry, Uozumi... the one I really love is... Nobunaga Kiyota
Sendoh: *talking to a fish* Hey, help me out here! I can't go emptyhanded!
Okay, okay, that last one was pointless
Uozumi: Ahhh! Everyone else is so tall! I feel so tiny!
Anzai: Hey, do you think I need to eat more?
Hana: Yah, you're looking a bit scrawny there, pops!
Rukawa: I talk too much
Hana: Me too!
Akagi: oops... i guess I'm too heavy to sit on basketballs anymore... holds up squashed basketball
hana: Haruko? Huh? Who's Haruko?
Ru: to hana: Anata wa... tensai!
First posted in 2000