The morning after of Gordon Freeman

Freeman stretched on the bed, as wide as he could. He could not clearly remember what has happened last night and in whose bed is he now. It was white and warm, that mattered. A lot. All the recent beds he had occasion to see, were just a rusty and very little important part of the whole big picture. A big picture of a pilgrimage where he was being prosecuted and mentally tortured by aliens, zombies, Combine soldiers (at least these were more responsive to his actions, more fun) and he was forced to lead this brave revolution of sometimes really dumb citizens… He felt kinda honored and responsible once it occurred he's perceived as a hero… But these people… they were getting in his way and weren't able to fulfill simple orders like: "Get off the shooting range, dammit! Duck! Duck! …oh shit…."

With a grimace on his face, he dropped thinking of the past and just to be cautious enough, he did not turn his head to the side once he realized there might be someone else here… And he probably had sex with this person. A lot… Yeah, less sex and lots of fighting equals lots of love and no fighting in bed.

Then he noticed a dark szape of his glasses on a cabinet next to him. That's why he thought this hangover is so strong! He very slowly reached and quietly put them on and then decided to turn his head and face the truth!

In the same moment, an overgrown cockroach suddenly jumped up on his face, out of nowhere!

Gordon jumped as well, with unusual agility. He landed behind the bed, feverishly looking for the crowbar, his Glock, or any other weapon! He kept his eyes on it.

"Lamar!" Called a voice from behind the bathroom door and Gordon's heart went down to his stomach. For a few seconds he though he spent an awesome night with the professor, owner of a toothless headcrab! But the voice was not quite the same.

"Oh. There you are…" Said very nice, female voice and it brought a huge relief. "I thought you'll be still slipping." Gordon raised his eyes and was really happy to see what he saw. It was Jane! Jane, who was wearing only a thin and short enough robe.

"Oh My God! I promise I won't ever drink so much again!" He thought and sighted. Then sat on the bed. Lamar seemed to like the white sheets too. Of course it wasn't the same Lamar from the times and places where he was recognized. Freeman would just get rid of that small pest, but the girl liked it so he pretended not to care or care about it.

They remained quiet. As he did not remember anything, except drinking much to much tequila and maybe having some pot? "Where from they take so much liquor?"

Jane seemed to be very pleased with whatever has happened in that bed. But the scientist was not sure if it was totally right this time. I mean, he wouldn't care if it was Black Mesa or the University or even the freakin middle of the dessert! However, here, he had another four people that he had to cope with and they all had guns.

Lamar purred in this weird way and jumped off the sheets like a bored cat having a whim.

Jane put her hand on his with this flirting expression in her hazel eyes. All the sudden he got completely flabbergasted.

„Um… Jane… „

„Yes?"

„Do you like my crowbar?"

This time Jane got stunned. She looked like she could not control her face. Treid to keep it totally serous but finnaly the shaky edges of her mouth went up, she stood up and just exploded with laughter.

„What the fuck?" He kept staring at her with a confused look. „What happened last night?One of us has to remember something!"

She tried to stop laughing, but she was at a stage of an uncontrolled cry. Tears went to her eyes.

„AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Gordon, you bastard!" She made a pause to slow down her breath."You are just impossible!"

„Whaaat? What?"

„Oh Gordon, I just felt so grat!" She continued through her laugh and tears while he was becoming more and more pissed off. It was rude, he was always getting very good opinions from the ladies… at least before they decided to slap him.

„Whatever!" he rushed to get his clothes, happy that he doesn't have to put on the HEV armor again, like a freakin knight.

„Gordon, wait! Wait!" She ran to him and grabbed his arm."Wait! and don't walk around naked!" She said like it was so damn hilarious." Just wait. We did not have sex."

„Oh… What? So what the hell are you doing here?"

„It was a joke! I'm so sorry, we have so little entrtainment here and I used to be an actor…" Her eyes went darker for a second."Back in the day…I just miss my job so much now."

„Well you surely had a good fun of me." He started putting on his clothes, not even trying to hurry.

„I'm sorry. You had a lots of tequilla and you smoked some weed… I think you used all our supply but I hate it so… Anyway, you got high, told us that you love the bed and you got totally naked in a minute."

„How many people watched this show?"

„Well…all…"

„Shit! Did I say anything stupid?"

„Um…You gave us a lecture of physics as far as I remember. Yes, you were explaining me the string theory and then how you think the aliens got thrugh the portal. Lots of words I didn't understand plus your mumbling eventually."

„I was giving you a lecture naked?"

„Oh well, most of the time you were covered with sheets" Said Jane, trying not to look at Freeman's crotch and almost loosing her mind. This guy was totally shameless!

„Did you tape that? Maybe I said something smart about their technology…"

He finally covered the neuralgic spot of his body and she felt relieved. She could roll her eyesight to his face again.

„You… You are seriou? Um… Wendy could have recorded that. She's the only one with a camera. Plus she thinks you're pretty hot. I dunno. „

He finished putting on clothes and prepared to accept new reality. As being a local almost - pornstar.

„Lamarr went to bed with you and you hugged him! Then you fell asleep and we had to get him from under you. „

„Spare me the rest of details… I'm gonna have a long walk."