Liz - You're Annoying Go Away

Jack Lee is the most annoying human being I've ever come across.

It all started with Mark, who I know because he's Crona and Maka's friend or something. I don't really have an opinion about Mark, other than that he's sort of a player and has these really broad shoulders which are kind of dreamy but like I said, he's kind of a slut. I don't think he really does it intentionally, but his relationships never seem to last more than a month. So, no, I'll pass.

But back to Jack. We were all in the cafeteria when Mark, out of nowhere, starts telling me about his friend Jack, who thinks will just be perfect for me. Warning bells everywhere. Do I really want to get involved with slutty Mark's friend, who is probably equally slutty? No siree.

But honestly . . .

I've been kind of lonely lately. And I know Patty and Kid can tell. Especially Kid. I rewatched all of Hana Yori Dango, even the movie ending, all in one weekend. I just wanted to escape into a land of rich Asian boys dying to get with you, and not just in your pants.

So anyways, Mark started calling his friend over from all the way across the cafeteria, and I turn around to look because well, I'm a teeny tiny bit interested, and I see Mark's friend coming over, whose name is apparently Jack.

Okay. So I was not expecting him to be emo.

He was slim, and wore these black jeans held up by a studded belt and black band t-shirt that was probably My Chemical Romance or something. On his feet were a pair of black Converse and around his wrist a couple of black bead bracelets, and his hair was long, dark and stringy, almost to his shoulders, hanging in front of his dead black eyes. All this black stood out against his alabaster white skin.

The reason I have such an accurate description of him is because I couldn't take my eyes away. Like, he didn't look like every other emo, even though his face was kinda brooding and he was sighing and stuff. But I instantly shut these feelings out. There was no way I was falling for someone like him.

(Let me just add, it is pure coincidence that he's Asian and looks like one of the main characters from the Taiwanese version of Hana Yori Dango. I don't know why, but I have a thing for Asians. I love their eyes. They're so cute and small and make them look so sweet . . .)

Then Mark introduced him to me. And his dark eyes looked at me, and I paused, because it was a little uncomfortable, he was so serious looking, and then suddenly his face lit up and he was leaning in (waaaayyy too close), grabbing my hands and saying, "Your eyes are beautiful!"

All I could say was, "Uh . . ."

And he smiled this giant smile that made his eyes shrink and the corners crinkle in a really adorable way, and he said, "You're really pretty!"

And I still couldn't get anything out, because who was this kid who I thought was just another angsty teen a second ago? Who is currently showing me a smile with the whitest, most perfect teeth I've ever seen? So I cleared my throat, and finally spit out, "Well, I guess I am -"

"So how do you know Mark?" he said, and sat down next to me. I withdrew my hands from his and he pushed away the hair from his face. Wow, he had nice cheekbones.

"He's been my best friend since kindergarten," said Jack, "We're pretty much brothers. Hey, you have a sister, right? You're both partnered with Death the Kid -"

And he suddenly noticed Kid on the other side of me.

"You!" Jack gasped at the sight of Kid, who of course had his poker face on.

". . . Me?" said Kid.

"Wow, this is so cool!" said Jack. "Juliet - she's my partner - she thinks you're a really interesting meister." He laughed. "She told me if I met you I should take notes - she's funny like that."

"Really," said Kid, who I could tell just wanted to go back to making out with Crona or whatever it is they were doing.

"Anyways," said Jack, turning back to me, "It's so great to meet you! I've heard about you around school and you just sound so amazing -" the bell for lunch to end sounded "-so I'll talk to you later, okay? Give Mark your number to give to me!" And then he was gone.

"Isn't he great?" said Mark, smiling after Jack.

"Sure," I said, but really, I was kind of tired. He seemed like a nice guy, but really? He was just too much for me. And that's saying something, seeing as I'm Patty's sister.

"Great!" said Mark, "I'll text you his number later."

Patty poked my arm. "Did you like Jack?"

I avoided answering her question by saying, "I might've guessed he would be like Mark." I mean, I thought he would share a sluttiness with Mark, but really, he just shared Mark's energy.

"He's nice," said Maka, "You should go out with him."

"Ehhhh," I said, "He's not really my type."

"What's your type?" asked Kid, eyebrow raised.

I sighed, thoughts of magazine models floating into my head. "Tall, strong, six pack -"

"Ooookay," said Maka, "Good luck with that."

Everyone was starting for their classes. I could tell Kid was about to say something really cute to Crona, but he gave me this look which meant it was none of my business, so I sighed and went with Patty to our next class.

"Okay, bye. Mhmm. Okay. Yeah. Monday, sure. Bye now . . . what? No. I said Monday. I said - yes. I know. Goodbye. No. Goodbye, Jack." I ended the call and let my phone drop to the table.

Ugh. Phone calls with Jack were like climbing Mount Everest. Tiring, with no end in sight.

"That's the third time he's called you today," said Kid, who was sitting across from me at the dining table, reading some big ass book.

I moaned. "I know!" I said, "And it's Saturday. Ever since Mark gave him my number on Tuesday he's been texting and calling nonstop. I got out of meeting up with him this weekend but now I have to eat lunch with him at school."

"Sounds like he's really into you," said Kid, turning a page.

"Ugh," I said, "Too into me."

And he was. Is it just me, or do I like a guy to play hard to get? I feel like it's the only way to know they're taking the decision of going out with you seriously. Because if they're just going to say yes to any pretty girl who passes their way, who's to say they won't dump me in less than a week? Nope, they have to play hard to get, and you have to play hard to get, and once everyone is freaking tired and crazy exhausted in love, that's when you get with them, because you know for sure they like you when they've devoted like, weeks just trying to woo you.

"You've been moaning forever about finding a boyfriend," said Kid, breaking into my thoughts. "But now that a guy is actually paying attention to you, you don't even bother trying."

"He's just not my type," I said. I wanted someone big and strong, someone who girls would cry over because he didn't pick them.

That's right, I wanted arm candy. I just want to feel special. What's the harm in that?

"That's bullshit," said Kid, "You don't know what your type is."

"Oh yeah?" I shot him a glare. "Then do you know what your type is?"

"Yes," said Kid, "My type is male, slim, similar height, cute, awkward, surprisingly strong -"

Oh boy. "So Crona," I said, rolling my eyes, though isn't it just really super cute how mushy Kid is with Crona?

"That's my point," said Kid, "You don't know what kind of person you'll fall in love with until you do."

"Wow," I said, "That's very deep and all, but I know exactly the kind of guy I want."

"Oh, whatever," he said, obviously done with me. "Jack seems nice, but I guess you don't deserve him if you're not willing to give him a chance."

I frowned. "What's that supposed to -"

The front door rang.

"Ah," he said, "That'll be Maka."

"Maka's here?" I said.

"Yeah," said Kid. "She was going to help me find a present for Crona."

"Oh . . . is his birthday soon or something?"

"Uh, no," he said, "I just . . . want to get him something."

I smirked. "How thoughtful of you."

"Yes," he said, "How thoughtful of me." The doorbell rang again. He closed his book and went to the front door.

I sighed, and leaned back in my chair, staring at my phone. Suddenly, it rang. I checked to see who it was and, lo and behold, it was Jack.

"God damn," I muttered, and ignored the call. He instantly called me back.

"Ughhh." I answered the phone.

"What?!"

"Oh, hi," said Jack, "Is this a bad time?"

"It -" I pinched the bridge of my nose, calming myself down. "No," I said, "What do you want, Jack?"

"So about our Monday lunch date -"

"Jack!" I said. "I already said yes! Don't call me anymore."

"Sorry," he said, "I just wanted to make sure . . ."

"Well, okay. You've made sure. Now goodbye."

I hung up before he could say another word.

Don't think I don't know I'm being mean. I know I'm being mean. And it's kind of hard, because Jack does seem like a nice guy. And honestly, he's kind of cute, in his dark moping / insanely happy way. He'd make a nice friend. A friend. I don't know why everyone thinks I need a boyfriend, because I don't. I just get lonely sometimes, like every other person on this planet.

Scratch that. I'm not lonely. Not at all.

Not one bit.