I remember looking up
To look up to him
And I remember most the time
He wasn't there

Eight year old Jennifer Jareau was a lot like many other daughters her age, she looked up to her parents with glowing eyes. She loved them more than anything in the world and in her eyes they can do no wrong.

Her mother was beautiful, more beautiful then Jennifer could ever be. She had long golden locks of silk fine hair that bounced when she walked and dark cerulean blue eyes that shined with laughter. She was the mother every little girl dreamed of, the one everyone admires and compliments. It didn't matter to Jennifer that her mother pushed her aside in favor of a good looking delivery man or home contractor.

Her father was a handsome man, envied by the other fathers and fawned over by the mothers. His hair was a dark blonde like his wife's and his eyes matched hers, only his were always glazed over. It didn't matter to Jennifer that her father ignored her outstretched arms.

They were perfect. If they didn't want to spend time with her, than it had to be her that was the problem, not them.

I'd be waiting at the door
When he got home at night
He'd pass me by to go to pass out in his chair

Ten year old Jennifer Jareau smiled when she spotted her father's car pull up in the driveway. The smile was silly and her sister would likely have frowned at it, but Jennifer was excited. She pushed her homework aside and ran to the door to greet her hero.

She frowned when the door open and her sister assisted their father out of his car. The top few buttons of his shirt (that had been pressed and wrinkle free that morning) were unbuttoned and his suit jacket was absent. His eyes were glazed over and his footsteps were erratic.

"Dad?" she asked hesitantly, knowing the truth of the situation but refusing to accept it, as she had for many years.

He didn't answer her; instead he pushed past her as if she wasn't even there. Tears clouded her eyes as she watched her sister drop him into his chair and fall asleep.

And I'd say
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're swaying side to side
You're footsteps make me dizzy
And no matter how I try
I keep tripping and stumbling
If you'd look down here you'd see
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're leading me

Sixteen year old Jennifer Jareau was the perfect child, the friend that parents begged their children to be just like. She was a straight A student, a promising athlete, and one of the nicest people they had ever met, but there was something about her, something people couldn't quite put their finger on. It was her eyes, they were unsettling, sad, and no one could figure out why.

She was visiting her sister at college when she got the phone call. It was from Billy, the bartender a town over from her hometown, telling her that she needed to come pick up her father. With a sigh she agreed, it wasn't an uncommon call.

"Billy?" her sister's soft voice asked, though she knew the answer.

"Yeah, I've got to go Jess."

Her sister nodded with sad, but understanding eyes, after all she used to be the one that got the call. "I'm sorry JJ."

"For what?"

"Dad. Leaving."

Jennifer nodded before going to her father.

She picked him up from the bar as she had many times before, and helped him into the house. With a sigh she dropped him onto the couch and covered him with a blanket.

She was tired, so she started towards her room when she heard a giggle coming from her mother's room followed by a man's voice. With tears in her eyes Jennifer turned away, unable to pass her mother's room to go to her own. Instead she entered her baby sister's room and turned off the monitor.

"Hello baby girl," she whispered as she reached into the crib. With a sad smile she cradled the infant close. "I'm sorry baby."

He stumbled in the gym
On graduation day
And I couldn't help but feel
So ashamed
And I wasn't surprised a bit
When he didn't stay
He stumbled out before they called my name

Eighteen year old Jennifer Jareau smiled proud out into the crowd of her fellow students and faculty. She was graduating; standing in the same spot her sister had three years before, as the valedictorian. Her mother was in the crowd, holding her two year old sister in her lap and making eyes at one of the fathers. Her own father was attempting to sit up properly in his seat, and failing. Her sister was sitting next to them, smiling up at her with proud eyes.

"A lot has happened to us in the past four years. We are lucky in the fact that most of us have known each other our entire lives. Growing up in a small town isn't like it is in the movies, it's not people scrutinizing your every move and attempting to bury their secrets, it's a family. Every adult is a mother or father and every child is a daughter or son, to everyone. We've held each other and supported each other, but now we have to go our separate ways…" she stopped when she saw her father get up from his seat.

Tears flooded her eyes when she saw him headed for the door. She didn't even notice that she'd stopped her speech while she watched him.

Her father tripped over a chair, alerting everyone to his drunken state. He remained on the floor, struggling to get up.

Every eye was on him, no one getting up to help him, just observing the scene. Quietly and quickly, Jessica Jareau rose from her seat. Her heels clicked against the polished wooden floor of the gymnasium as she approached her father. Without words she helped him to his feet and supported his larger mass on her small frame like she and Jennifer had done a hundred times before.

With a sad, apologetic glance to her sister, she led him from the gym.

Jennifer swallowed as she tried to fight the tears that treated to fall. Without a word to her classmates, she took off her graduation cap and descended the stairs before leaving the gym.

Once she was far enough away from the prying eyes of her town, she let the tears fall, sinking to the ground.

And I thought
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're swaying side to side
It's not just me who's watching
You've caught everybody's eye
And you're tripping and stumbling
And even though I've turned 18
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're still leading me

She didn't return to the ceremony. Instead she got in her car and drove to the cemetery. When she got there she removed her graduation gown and placed it in the back seat before taking off her heels and repeating the motion.

Jane Jareau

Born: October 21, 1971

Died: November 6, 1989

The Kindest of Souls

Jennifer fell to her knees before the familiar grave, the tears still falling.

"I miss you Jane," she whispered, tenderly touching the granite.

When she finally did go home she found her father already tucked into the couch and her sister sitting at the kitchen counter. She looked lost in thought with her legs crossed and a cup of coffee in her hand.

"JJ."

The old mans still like he always was
But I love him anyway
If I've learned one thing from him
Its my kids will never have to say

"Will? Will, is that you?" JJ asked as she entered the main hall of her town house.

"JayJay," he slurred, a large smile on his face.

JJ didn't say a word, taking Will over to the couch and laying him down. She disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a cup of water and two aspirin. Calmly she sat down on the coffee table and fed him the medicine and water before laying him down completely and covering him with the blanket.

She went to sleep in Henry's room, holding him close to her chest.

Walk a little straighter daddy
You're swaying side to side
You're footsteps make me dizzy
And no matter how I try
I keep tripping and stumbling
If you'd look down here you'd see
Walk a little straighter daddy
You're leading me

"JJ," Will greeted when she came home from work the following afternoon. He looked awful. "Where's Henry?"

"I left him with Jessica for the night," she replied as she put her bag in the closet.

"Jen, about last night…" she cut him off.

"I understand Will, you lost your partner, you were shot, kidnapped, forced to leave our son with a serial killer, and strapped to a bomb. It's a natural reaction to go and attempt to drown yourself in alcohol. I'm not mad at you, but you need to know you can never do that again. I never want Henry to see you like that."

"He won't Jen, I promise."

Yeah walk a little straighter daddy
You're leading me

"Daddy?"

"Yes Henry?"

"When I grow up, I'm going to be just like you."

JJ smiled as she watched her husband lift their son up into his arms. She was happy, finally.