If There Ever Was A Doubt

a Gossip Girl fanfiction

Chapter 1 – The City Spins Around

[A/N : Thanks for reading. This is my first published fic ever, and I'd appreciate your feedback and thoughts of it! Merci!]

Disclaimer : I don't own Gossip Girl. But I own a duplicate of Blair's Audrey Hepburn picture in her room!

Summary : 3x22, Last Tango Then Paris :

What if Jenny hadn't slept with

Chuck? And everything would have turned

out differently? NJ CB DS, no Georgina.

Chuck had barely touched Jenny's lips as she pulled back.

"I can't do this, Chuck. That's really not the way it's supposed to be... you're drunk, and so am I, but I just can't do this. I'm sorry. I – I gotta go now."

Chuck Bass leaned back and nodded. He took another sip of his Scotch and waved to the direction of Nate's room. He couldn't do this to Blair. She had let him down, she didn't want him anymore. But he loved her. He loved her so much, he even wondered how he was able to peck that Humphrey slut on the lips, without thinking of Blair. But well – he did think of her. He had thought of her for two years now. Every day and every second. He vaguely remembered how Nate had told him that he was in love with that Humphrey girl last year. He and Nate might have had their issues, and he had stolen Nate's girlfriend once, but he was his best friend after all. Chuck wouldn't do this again. Nate might be with Serena now, but that wasn't forever. Chuck knew that. Serena was his sister for god's sake – and she's never really gotten over the boy whose sister Chuck had just kissed.

"I suppose you are right, Humphrey", Chuck whispered. "But you can stay the night if you like, I'm sure Nathaniel wouldn't mind finding you waiting for him on his bed when he returns."

"But why would you do that?", Jenny asked, not really expecting an explicit answer. " 'Cause I'm Chuck Bass."

Yeah, right. With that, Jenny walked into Nate's room. Not being aware of what she would experience just an hour later, she threw her bag on Nate's bed. Oh god, how could she just almost have made out with Chuck Bass? He was the one who tried to rape her on the Kiss On The Lips party two and a half years ago, after all. She might have forgiven him, okay, and he was kinda her step-brother now. Ew. And Chuck was with Blair. Jenny knew they had broken up, but they were Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. They would always find their way back to each other. She and Nate wouldn't.

Nate was actually the only guy Jenny had ever loved. Really loved.

It had all started on the Masquerade Ball, when Nate had kissed her thinking she was Serena, telling her he loved her.

She loved him when they talked the entire evening at Blair's birthday party, she even loved him when he had given the present he had bought for Jenny to didn't mind that, he had bought it for her after all. Jenny had loved Nate when he supported her with her fashion career, when he kissed her in a crowded street in the night, and at her fashion show in front of everyone. She had loved him when he left with Vanessa, and all the time while they hadn't talked.

Blair and Chuck would always get back together. But she and Nate wouldn't. Nate, the Manhattan prince, and she, the Brooklyn maid. They just weren't meant to be. Even though it had felt like this several times. When he had escorted her to her Cotillion, when he had rescued her from that creepy bar, when she had kissed him in that strange storage room on his birthday. And when she had woken up next to him. It just felt so good to be with Nate.

Of course it always broke Jenny's heart to see Serena, the girl she had admired for so many years, now her step-sister, with him. Her prince. Her everything.

It hurt. So much.

And one thing Chuck was definitely right about.

"The world you're looking at only exsists from the outside. The reason I survive in it is because I always knew it was empty."

And then they had kissed. Two empty sould, two broken hearts. And surely not the only ones out there.

Jenny took off her heels, her feet hurt very much. She had been up for hours. Of course, as the Upper East Side Queen she must be able to walk on these shoes, and she had practiced since she was 13. But even the Queen breaks down at least once. Jenny wasn't even sure if she was still Queen. But she didn't care. She just wished for Nate to get home soon, and hug him. She wanted to touch him, the only comfort left.

She was so grateful Chuck let her stay the night – she had actually been planning on getting a room at the Plaza until tomorrow, then she would go to Hudson. To her mom. Her mom, who didn't know about the entire drama she was going through.

Jenny started walking nervously through Nate's room. He had it really nice here, she thought. Then she spotted it. It was a little box with a boat painted on it, standing on the very border of the desk. It had Nate's initals each on the boat and on the top of the box. She didn't know if she should open it since it seemed very private. But hey – there was nothing to lose. Tomorrow she would be gone, Nate didn't care about her, and she had shown him enough of her own by now. Once Jenny had taken the top cover off, she noticed that there was only one thing in there. Only one piece of something Nate obviosly cared about very much, or just didn't want to show to anybody – either way, it was only a picture. A picture laying on the ground of that box, with the printed side down. Jenny lifted it up and suddenly lost her breath.

There were two persons in the picture, her smiling self and Nate. Her Nate.

At her Cotillion, when he had rescued her. Again. Jenny just couldn't believe he had kept the picture. Or that he even owned anything relating to the Cotillion. It was just a coincidence that he'd been there, and he just couldn't let her down with obviously nothing to do that night. But now, Jenny started wondering if it had really meant something to him. Why would he keep the image? There was nothing Serena-related in his room, just a bunch of clothing she had left at his place, at the foot of his huge, comfy bed, on the floor.

Why would he throw Serena's clothes on the floor? Gosh, this couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. She needed to get some answers. Now. Right away. Jenny reached over for her bag, and rummaged for her cell. She took a snapshot of Nate's photograph, just like she had photographed her brother and Serena in bed this morning. Then she sent the text with it to Nate.

And hoped for the best.

[A/N: First chapter done! Let me know what you think, this one is pretty much based on Jenny's and Chuck's thoughts. More N/J and C/B action in the next one! xoxo]