The Weirdest Mission Ever
Chapter 1: Assembling the Teams
A/N: This is an idea I've had for a long time so I've decided to post it now. This story is a tribute story in honor of one of my favorite authors known as Alkaholik or Al's OTHER Account. He has a really awesome series called Grapefruits: The Adventure, and after I read them, I had the idea to do something similar but with the TMNT instead. So I asked his permission, and he said that he'd be honored to have me do something like that. And so, this story was born. I hope that you all enjoy what I have in store for this little story, and I will warn you that it's going to be a very humorous adventure for sure. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Disclaimer: TMNT and all related characters belong to Nickelodeon. Any other characters who make an appearance in this story are property of their respective owners. I only own the plot of this story and nothing more.
Summary: Shredder recruits the Turtles, Splinter, April, and some of his own henchmen to fulfill a mission only they can carry out for him. Will they fulfill said mission, or will disaster strike at every turn?
Shredder paced his throne room. What was taking them so long? They should have been back by now. He turned as the door opened and in filed everyone he had asked to meet him here. Yes, this was going to be the best idea ever, and he was surprised that he hadn't thought of it before.
"We are here, Master," Bradford said. "What did you want us for, and why did you bring your most hated enemies here as well?"
"I brought them because they will help me with this mission that I want all of you to carry out," Shredder replied.
"So this will be your servants against your enemies?" Xever asked him.
"Not quite," Shredder answered. "I am going to pair you up into teams and after I do so, then I will explain my mission." His eyes roved over everyone who was assembled before landing on Leonardo. "I suppose Leonardo should go first."
"Dibs on Karai!" Leo called out.
Shredder laughed. "Oh, you foolish Turtle, did you really think I would pair you up with Karai, the object of your constant deranged sexual fantasies?"
"I don't have sexual fantasies about her!" Leo protested. "Besides, she's my sister so that would be a moot point."
"Uh, bro, you do have fantasies about her," Raph said. "Don't deny it."
"Shut up, Raph!" Leo snapped.
"Enough!" roared Shredder, causing the room to shake. "Leonardo, you will be paired with my most trusted Foot Ninja. Bob, come forward."
A human Foot Ninja, who was one of the few remaining human Foot Ninjas since Shredder had replaced them with Foot Bots, rushed forward, eager to do his master's bidding. He wasn't sure why he had to be paired with this Turtle, but if it meant Shredder would reward him, then he was all for that.
"Are you kidding me?" Leo grumbled. "I have to get stuck with him?"
"Yes, you do. Now quit whining while I give out the other assignments. Xever, you will be paired with Raphael."
Xever, also known as Fishface to the Turtles, looked at the red-clad Turtle and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, it could be worse," he said to himself.
Raph wasn't too thrilled about it, but he knew if he voiced any complaint, Shredder would just laugh at him.
"Stockman, you will be paired with Donatello," Shredder declared.
"But I wanted to be paired with April!" Don whined.
"Too bad, Turtle," Shredder snarled. "I am not going to have to worry about you constantly attempting to get in her pants as that's the last thing I want. Bradford, you will be paired with Michelangelo."
Mikey sighed. "Aw, man, I get to be stuck with Rahzar?" he moaned. "That is so not cool."
"I don't like it either, but we'll have to deal with it," Bradford replied.
"Karai, you will be paired with April, and Tiger Claw, you will be paired with Splinter."
Karai and April glared at each other, while Tiger Claw hissed at Splinter. Neither of them were happy with these assignments and wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.
"And now for the mission," Shredder said. "I have run out of sake, and so I am enlisting you to go and fetch it for me at a place called Dong Woo's Best Sake and Book Shop. I will also need some reading material as I like to read while getting drunk, so you will be enlisted to help me find a specific book entitled How to Score the Best Chicks. As you know, thanks to Hamato Yoshi, I lost the love of my life and am a lonely man, so I need something to try and find another love of my life. The first team to get this to me will receive a handsome reward."
"And what reward is that, Master?" Fishface asked.
"You will find out once you have obtained the objects," Shredder answered. "The store is located in San Diego, so you must go there to obtain the items. Luckily, they are having some silly event called Comic Con, so you should be able to fit in well down there and no one will think the worst of you. Now let me show you to the garage where I have your transportation."
"We could always take the Shellraiser," Don volunteered.
"I thought the Kraang destroyed that thing," Shredder reminded him.
"I built a new one," Don retorted.
"No, you will be using my cars and that is final," Shredder decreed. He led them to the garage and pointed out which cars would be for which team.
Leonardo and Foot Ninja Bob were assigned to a car that was shaped like a katana. Bob pushed the remote and the handle of the sword parted to reveal a driver's seat, a passenger seat, and one backseat suitable for three people. Bob wanted to drive, so Leo let him since he didn't feel like having an argument over it.
Raph and Fishface were assigned a car that was shaped like a fishbowl. Fishface wasn't too happy about that, but there wasn't much he could do, so he opened the top of the bowl and decided he was going to drive. Raph didn't object because he wasn't in the mood to pick a fight with Fishface and get bitten again. That was all he needed was to be poisoned with no antidote.
Don and Stockman were given a car that was shaped like a beaker, which satisfied the two scientists. Stockman wanted to drive, and agreed that he would switch off with Don if he got too tired. Don agreed because he didn't want Stockman tattling on him to Shredder and getting punished for it.
Mikey and Bradford received a car that was shaped like a dog bone. Mikey thought it was funny, but Bradford was seething. Was this the best Shredder could do? He opened the car and immediately claimed the driver's side before Mikey could do so. Mikey pouted but got in and waited for further instructions.
April and Karai were given a car that was shaped like a shuriken. Karai wasn't happy because she had been hoping for a Mercedes or something even better.
"I'm so glad Shredder's not my dad because he sucks at it," Karai muttered.
"Oh, shut up and get in," April grumbled, not looking forward to having to deal with Karai the whole trip.
Karai took the driver's side, leaving April to get into the passenger seat.
Splinter and Tiger Claw were given a car that was shaped like a bowl of milk. Tiger Claw immediately took the driver's side and Splinter grudgingly got into the passenger's side. He wasn't happy about this arrangement and also hoped that his sons would be safe during their trip as well.
Shredder smiled as he saw all of the teams in their cars. "I want to wish you all a safe trip as you obtain the items I have requested," he said. "Let the mission begin!"
The cars were started, and they headed out of Shredder's garage to begin the mission. But what they didn't know was that this mission was going to be very weird and full of adventure along the way. The only thing keeping their heads in the game was the thought of the prize Shredder was going to give them.
A/N: So that's the end of the first chapter. I hope you liked it. I want to warn you that this story is going to be full of laughs and a lot of weird stuff along the way, so be on the lookout for that. Feel free to leave a review and have a shelltastic day.