Aftermath

I'm not sure what to call it, I'd not say I was "free" of Davids curse so much as no longer at it's mercy. The killer, the monster's gone, but it feels like somethings wrong, something is missing, like when it curled back and went into slumber or where ever the thing goes when you kill a head vamp, it took something with it as if its' denial of being allowed to claw free it out of spite tore something from me.

What ever it was, I don't know, I don't really feel all that much different, just empty. Maybe it's because it's presence suddenly vanished? I don't know, it really wouldn't bother me so much, cept it does, cause I have no one to talk to, I say anything to anyone I'll be called insane, probably thrown in a straight jacket and locked in a padded cell. I know two months ago I'd have laughed and been sure, then avoid someone if they where to say: " I was turned into a vampire for a week, but now I'm human and it's left me feeling a little strange." Yea who do you say that to? Who do you talk to about having fought a crazed killer inside of you over a craving worse than any drug addicts. Yea, No AA meetings for me, therapy, yea right.

No one really talks about it, Sam well he's talked, but mostly hyped up over kicking vampire but and he has those two little ass holes he can confide in, to let it out and just be able to open up to someone without being thought insane. Sam is in this fog that he's hero, I can't crush that with my problems, with him having to realize his big brother just isn't suddenly all well and happy again.

He wouldn't understand, he was a part of this, but wasn't this, he didn't have to go threw the torment to his body and mind, the inner war being raged with yourself. That's what I can't mention, the scariest part of it is the thing growing inside of me was part of me as well, not just something trying to take over. It's hard to explain how it's not you, but you at the same time, how it warps your thoughts, twists them, but it's not a whispering, like something telling you to do things, it's your own mind telling you to do things, while at same time it's the monster being the reason. I can't explain it, it's just an experience you'd have to go threw and Sam just wouldn't understand, he's smart, but intelligence wouldn't help him know what it was like, the conflict... And the pain, the pain was extreme when it struck and I felt that burning hunger.

I just felt wrong during the whole time that thing was inside me trying to take over, to change me into what they were. Now I just feel like something's missing and it wouldn't be so bad, but there's no one I can speak to... Star, yea that girl's far from open, she never wants to speak of it, in her little world it never happened... In mine it wont go away, it nags me.

I think Sam's a little worried, I tend to sleep a little latter in the mornings now, but I don't feel uncomfortable in the day. I do have to wear sun glasses, my eyes are more sensitive than before being nearly turned. Also I still wear that ear ring.

I don't know why, I've so many times wanted to rip that evil sign of Loyalty to David from my ear, chunk the thing into the ocean, stomp it, do something, but every time I lift my hand and about to pull the thing out... I hesitate and just can't bring myself to remove it. It kind of scares me, I don't know why and Sam's a little bugged by it and told me I need to remove the thing. I agree, but when my hand touches it and I'm about to pull the thing from me and remove that last piece, that last claim David had over me, I just pull away and can't pull it out like something stops me and I can't bring myself to remove that hellish reminder of that mid summer week of hell.

Or few months of hell. There was a lot of work needed on grandpas' house after what happened. How liquid vampire can burst the plumbing I can't imagine. At least the bodies of the creatures vaporized or turned to dust, saving us from burying their remains. I had mix feelings on that. David, he was a bit of dick, but also was sort of friendly aside the scaring the piss out of me for his little initiation, if he wasn't a killing monster, we could have been friends, I sort of wanted to when I realized he had zero interest in Star. So the idea of having to bury a guy I just killed that under different circumstances could have been a friend made my stomach churn.

I'm just not a killer, not like David thought anyway. I didn't want to be something that killed others and nearly haven killed Sam and would have if not for Nanook. That scared me more than anything, the thought I could suddenly just kill my brother, or my mom or Grandpa. It terrified me more than seeing the vampires slaughter those guys on the beach.

Not that any of this matters now, I'll just have to deal with this secret and the strange feeling i have.

Nothing's easy, I think while something feels gone, at same time I think the thing that was in me left something behind. I'm not as interested in socializing like I used to be. I just want to be left alone and I have a distaste towards people. The fucking ear ring doesn't help, the boys must have been notorious, because I get weird looks and kids whisper to each other soon as they notice the damned thing... I want to chunk it. I want these guys to stop treating me like a walking disease factory just because I have a dangling earring.

I wish mom wouldn't have guilted me into school, not like it's going to do me any good. My last school year, I don't have a chance of getting a scholarship, I'm not smart like Sam. My only hope was sports and this school already has their star quarterback and select kids picked out, I'm just the out of town new guy to them with no chance in hell. I don't want to be here, but I just caved to my moms demands, uhg. Well one more year to deal with, yea no chance of popularity and getting the hot girl like I did back in Phoenix... I snort thinking of Star.

Things went down hill after Max became ashes, she was distant, especially after I tried talking to her about what happened. We found we really had nothing to relate to, not with her closing up and not wanting to talk about things, not with her remarks about me nearly giving up to it, that I shouldn't have just let the vampire take over enough I physically change. I wouldn't be feeling so weird if I didn't let it have as much control. Oh yea, my fault, I didn't know what to do and David was using me as a punching bag, I think i did pretty good on the control department under the circumstances. I almost gave up was another one of her why you likely feel so messed up. No star didn't want to talk about it, she just wanted to tell me I should have been stronger or I'd not felt the way I feel now.

Star didn't understand how I could let the vampire easily sway me, she got upset when I tried talking about it and that I nearly killed my brother... Apparently Star overcame it and didn't kill when it hit and couldn't understand how I wasn't able to till I got attacked by the dog. Unfortunately I'm not as perfect as her.

I snort and bite into the dried tasteless chicken ring. School lunch isn't the worse, but isn't the greatest, not that it matters. Ever since returning to being human, food has been bland, It's not tasteless, just on the bland side. I sigh and stab another in irritation, to much on my mind, I think I'll go crazy at this rate, if I'm not already crazy.

" Hey? Mind if I sit?"

At first I didn't think it was me being talked to, but glancing up from my paid by tax dollars meal I see a cute girl looking at me. I raise a brow at this as most everyone avoided me or tried to haze me. The hazers finding I'm not a dork or nerd real fast, themselves being the ones stuck in the garbage cans instead. " Free country." I wasn't meaning to sound as snappy as I did, it just came out as such.

" Alright Mr. Sunshine." The girl sits with an eye roll. She had on pink hot pants, some short white top her hair done up like Cyndi Lauper. Nice full lips, soft facial features. Not bad on the eyes at all. " Uh, my face is up here Sunshine."

" Hu, uh, sorry." I tear my eyes from her chest which had some very nice shapely tits. " Why you want to sit with me? Everyone seems to want to avoid me if not try to trip me."

" I thought I'd warn you." She said. " Why you're avoided, well that ear ring, only one group wears an earring that dangles down like that and they don't tend to take kindly to anyone that copies the look. no one wants to end up being on their list by associating with you. The guys try trip you are just the typical ass holes trying to prove themselves."

I was a little disappointed, she was just being nice, but must not have any real interest in me. " Yea, hu, I have a feeling they won't care now, not about me." I went back to eating what was left of my process it's questionable if it's real chicken.

" Dude, seriously, I'm not joking." She leaned in to whisper. " They're called the Lost Boys, think it's some kind of sick inside joke, but new guys like you that copy them, vanish, they see you, you'll end up on a missing poster. That's all I can really tell you, but you're going to have to get rid the ear ring.

" Thanks, but I'm going to be fine." I reach up to start messing with said ear ring and stop myself, putting my hand back on the table. " I doubt they're really going to care." After all dead guys don't care right?

She shakes her head. " Man, you're just asking for it, can you at least stay away from the boardwalk at night? Cause not just them, the Surf Nazis' see that ear ring, they'll want to kick your ass. They hate the Lost boys and would love to have at anyone they think might be trying to join their uh, gang."

I got the feeling this girl knows more than she was letting on, that she may know what they where. Maybe this whole hell hole of a town did, maybe not. " I can't make promises, does my would be savior have a name?" I asked, really wanting know the girl who's trying to look out for me.

" Gale." She shrugs. " What's your name Sunshine?"

" Micheal, Gale's nice, normal." I sounded like a dork.

" Your name's nice to." She giggles. " Uh anyways, I got to go, but if you do go to the boardwalk, come find me, my Dad runs an electronics repair shop down there and it's lot better you be in there than out where either The Boys or the Nazis' may see you, well if you do the dumb thing and run around it at night.

I hadn't been to the Boardwalk since the show down at grandpas, it was nightmare inducing just thinking about it. I grin as gale walks off, thinking i might have to change that train of thought and that maybe the girl wasn't just being nice and that she was interested in me. Maybe I'll actually find some semblance of my old life in this god forsaken town.