The passage of time perplexes me, more so than life, death, or the moments in between. The haze of everything rushes past me, slipping through arthritic fingers, deafening already suspect hearing. My life has not turned out the way I had expected. Twists and turns of fate have tangled the threads of my path, lifting my spirit, only to tear my beating heart from a battered chest. For me, and for everyone else, the future is always unpredictable. Sure, people can guess and imagine what their lives will become, they can see the person they want to be. But, in reality, nothing is black and white, and the things we dream of never turn out the way we want.
Time floated by
Leaving me, soaring into the evening sky
Now I'm old and gray
Too worn out to pray
Abandoned by friends and lovers
These old bones won't hide under the covers
Looking back to a time in the past
It seems these memories are the only things that last
Objects in the rearview mirror are gone
I haven't seen them in so long
They passed me by, the youth of tomorrow
Leaving me old and full of introspective sorrow
The sun shone brightly in the clear blue sky, sparkling and glimmering off dewy grass and the serene surface of the placid lake. Today started like every other day, perfect in the never ending summer of youth and innocence. I was basking in the early morning glow of the heated rays, watching dark black ants in conquest of new land for the colony, while I waited for Kenny to pick me up. It seems that most of my sixteen years had been shared with Kenny, closer than any brothers we knew. As kids, we spent the endless summer days on our childhood adventures, getting into trouble, but man, we got around. Be it checking out abandoned homes for creepy ghosts and ghouls, hunting for new species in the pristine lake, or staying up all night, watching the stars in the clear evening sky. We were always together, friends forever. Our short lives had passed in a blur, now we were sixteen and ready for anything. As a birthday gift, Kenny's father had bought him a sleek, black Ford Mustang. Now, we could stretch past the short reach of this town, and better, we could go anywhere, anytime we wanted. Looking back our ideas seem so miniscule and immature, but we were kids with so much time to make our dreams come true.
One night, Kenny and I had been getting drunk off beer we stole from the local convenience store. After finishing off the numerous bottles, we staggered and stumbled through the thick brush of branches and leaves back to the Mustang. He drove me home, dropping me off at my depressing and desolate house, before zooming off in his beauty of a car, roaring in the silent night. Kenny thought he was invincible, but I guess he found out the hard way that life is never fair to the foolhardy. The police said he crashed and burned, I know I'll never know why any boy should die so young. His car was on the front page of the newspaper the next day, twisted and charred metal wrapped around a burnt tree on the turnpike. Nothing had been left of Kenny, only ash floating away with the gentle caress of the wind. Even now, I think I see that Mustang catching up to me on this never ending highway, inching towards me. But it was long ago and so far away, and the objects in the rearview mirror definitely appear closer than they are.
We were only kids starting our lives
Not ready to say permanent goodbyes
That's what happened to Kenny and me
I was stuck here while he was set free
But I can see him catching up on this winding road
Only to look back and find myself alone
I swear objects in the rearview mirror are closer than they are
On this highway I'm still the only car
The night rose, as the sun receded behind the lifeless corpses of the dying trees. The dead of winter, all the dreams seemed to freeze. I heard the incoherent screaming of my drunken father, tripping and falling all over our shabby shack of a house. This happened nearly every night; I couldn't wait to be free of this violent man. All the yelling and the noise could never fill this empty void, eating away at the edges of my frightened mind. The already loose door to my room slammed open, wood ripping away from the hinges, tearing and escaping the imprisoning metal. The slam of wood against hollow wall and floor echoed through the oppressing room, filling me with dread.
My father was a big man, more than a foot taller than myself and at least a muscular fifty pounds more than my lanky teen body. In his drunken rage, he grabbed me before I could escape; tearing his black leather belt from the worn loops of his faded and stained blue jeans. He wound back, as I cringed, ready for the pain. His eyes were blank, as he hit me again and again. My screaming body could feel the lashes, burning and searing through the thin cotton of my shirt, marring my already scarred back. But I remained silent, whimpering and hollering would only prolong my torture. There was nowhere to hide, every time he would find me, I'd have to get away eventually or I would die. I know he'd never let me leave, I had to run away alone. So many wasted years before I could finally call my life my own. Even though the nightmares of those days should be over, some of the memories haunt me to this very day. I'll hear that slurred, violent voice, and he grabs me from behind and he takes me back. Waking up in a sweat, I realize that even though it was so long ago the scars will always remain. I swear, sometimes, I can see my old man catching up to me, one mile at a time. But objects in my rearview mirror still appear closer than they are.
The night was dark and the winter lasted forever
This old man wouldn't let me out, never
Got to fight and escape on my own
Even if I'm not fully grown
Have to flee from this violent man
Who only drinks and doesn't give a damn
I left on my own that daybreak
Had to escape the yelling and the hate
But I swear I can see my old man in the rearview mirror
His image becoming clearer and clearer
But those objects are still showing up closer than they are
On this highway I'm still the only car
Julie was the most amazing beauty I had ever seen. She lived on the edge of town, roaring into our quaint community with her foot heavy on the pedal and the top down on her red Corvette. Like a blast from some other dimension, she shot into my life like a bat out of hell. It was always spring, and we did everything together. In the day the birds would sing their songs of rebirth, new buds would grow and sprout leaves, grass would grow in the pale sunlight, everything was perfect. At night, Julie and I would drive around the town we wanted to escape from, sit on the top of her red hot rod, staring up into the clear heavens above. She taught me everything I'll ever know about the mysteries of life and love. I know I'll probably never know where she disappeared, but I cannot help but think of her during the many lonely nights since she left me. Though I'll never know where she went, I'll never forget all Julie taught me. But it was long ago, and so far away, but I swear I can see that hot red 'vette tearing up the road behind me. I look back, only to see I am no longer alone on this highway, but pieces of my past are catching up to me. Now it seems that objects in the rearview mirror are closer than I could have guessed.
Julie was the beauty who lived on the edge of town
She'd speed in her red corvette with the top down
Man, how she drew me in and stole my heart
Julie swore we'd never ever part
But I guess teen promises don't mean too much
Cause working off puppy love isn't enough
She left me, I know I'll never find her trail
No forwarding address, no apartment number, no email
And objects in the rearview mirror are closer than we think they are
That 'vette's out here, side by side with my car
Now I sit, thinking back to a past I can never forget. Here I am, in my beat up Ford, the car I bought to honor Kenny's free spirited memory. Old busted, flat tires will not take me along the open road once again. My time is over, and I must step aside for the youth of today. This car has taken me far, but the journey is over. Vision blurring, I can see my Julie rising up out of the backseat now. Slowly, pain shoots from the nerves in my left arm, I know that I am being released from this earth. Bright light calls to me. She calls to me. The years have not changed Julie, she appears to me as young as the day she disappeared forever. I follow her willingly, my faith unwavering as the dying life leaves my old and worn body, I am taken into death's eternal embrace.
Objects in the rearview mirror no longer appear closer than they are
I tried to run from the past but didn't get far
All the nightmares haunt me forever and always
In my dotage Julie is the image which stays
Haunting the backseat of my broken Ford
Coming closer as my body grows cold
I had never found where she had disappeared
Now my head is grey and so is my beard
How I have waited for her to finally return
Pain growing in my left arm begins to tingle and burn
I lose myself in her youthful face
As I am drawn into death's embrace