EPILOGUE

The bright light blinded me and caused my eyes water. I assumed it was the sun. Something I'd only read about. It felt warm to my soft, pale skin and it came from above with a great intensity, just as I'd always been told it would. I shielded my burning eyes with my arm and gasped for breath. My frail body was shaking hard with adrenaline and I couldn't quite catch my breath. The air out here felt thin and dirty in my lungs, and it grossed me out. I hated it already.

Finally my eyes adjusted, and I peeked over my arm at the vast wasteland before me. Dirt and debris as far as the eye could see. I couldn't help but gasp at the amazing sight. My mouth hung open and my eyes grew wide with awe. The floor-er, ground beneath me stretched on for miles and miles until the dusty atmosphere kept me from seeing any further. The massive sky was a brilliant gold, and the sun rested low in the sky, creating a beautiful show of red and gold light. I was overwhelmed by the size of it all; I'd never imagined anything like it. Of course, I'd seen pictures of our world before the nukes had fallen, but pictures did nothing to help me understand the astounding size and energy of it. I felt so small.

All over this stretch of land, I could make out ruined structures and dead trees. I was surprised anything still stood, even the skeletal remains of buildings. The Great War ended nearly two hundred years ago, yet there was still standing evidence of it? Suddenly, a lump swelled in my throat and my eyes filled with tears. Why? Why was I here? The events of the day were still too recent. Not even the shock of seeing "The Outside" for the first time in my life could cover it. I suddenly remembered the reality of my situation.

At that, I started to shake uncontrollably and the tears that had been waiting to fall finally ran over and down my rounded cheeks. I couldn't stop them even if I had bothered. I allowed myself to be overcome with sorrow-and panic. I whirled around to face the shoddy wooden door I'd emerged from and released a shriek that ended in a gargling sob.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhnnngggg!"

I used the entire capacity of my lungs, gasped for a moment and began to scream again. I screamed, yelled, and cursed. I picked up anything near by, mostly just rocks and dirt, and threw them at the wooden door as hard as my thin arms would allow. My anger and anguish was all I could see.

Why had these things happened? Why did my father leave me? Why did Jonas have to die? And Amata, would she ever forgive me? I kept screaming and sobbing. Fortunately, there was no one around to witness the only tantrum I'd ever thrown in my life.

What kind of sick, twisted person would kill their best friend's father? Yeah I hated the man, as much as anyone else in the Vault did, but was I really "That Girl"? The girl who became a psycho murderer and was never seen or heard from again? The girl who left the Vault in pieces and the people in chaos, never to return? I kept telling myself it was self-defense. At least, I think that's what it was. That was what I told Amata. But I wasn't quite sure what it had been. Amata couldn't, and would never forgive me anyway, and should I ever expect her to?

After a long time, I grew too weary to be angry. The adrenaline died away and I was left with a sinking hole of depression deep in my chest. Now what? I didn't know how to survive out here. I didn't even know what dangers I might encounter if I just stepped off this hill.

Slowly I rose to my feet, out of the dust and grime, and turned to look up at the massive sky stretched out for miles and miles all around me. I felt my heart lift and the muscles in my jaw and face relaxed. There was something inspiring about the sky, something mysterious.

I brushed off the dust that clung to my Vault 101 jumpsuit, slung my baseball bat over my shoulder, and holstered my murder weapon at my hip. I took one last look at the doorway to my beloved home and walked off to find the one who had caused all of this chaos in the first place. The catalyst of my unforgivable sin, my desperation, and my ultimate escape from the only home I'd ever known.

My father.

He was all I had left, after all, and finding him was now all I had to strive for.