What's Found in the Cold

The falls I've taken only strengthen.

The tears I cry only make the shield thicker.

I am not invincible, nor am I fragile.

My hairs wet from the rain that beats at my back till it bruises.

My eyes red from all the tears I've cried.

My voice hoarse from every scream that's escaped my lips.

My legs have fallen from under me after running from every fear.

And finally, my arms have given up from trying to push back all the pain.

My last bit of strength is used to raise my hand to my heart.

There's nothing, no sound, no warmth, just a hollow echo and the unbearable cold that has filled my chest.

I'm so confused, but I feel as if it's obvious.

I'm scared, not of another but of me.

I want to push it back like I did everything else but my arms won't move from the place where my heart was….

Once.

I want to laugh but it hurts my throat, still I laugh through the pain.

My sanity was taken a long time ago and I know that now.

I wonder when they'll end this game.

Was this what they wanted?

To watch me snap like a twig under their boot?

My laugh gets louder and louder like a mad person.

Why not go mad?

In this game, I've seen many others just like me who've crossed the line thousands of times.

I wait for something, whether it be pain, sorrow, hatred, despair, fear, anything.

At this point it's all meaningless.

I've swam in many lies but none like this.

I guess it would be heart wrenching but I wouldn't know.

Like I said, like many, I've taken their bate and now I have to pay the price.

Such a stupid girl, I think to myself.

I look at the sky.

Gray.

Just waiting to pound on my back even harder with its rain.

I look in front of me.

A wave of pain coming straight for me wanting to just tare away at my body.

I sit there and wait for it come and finish me off.

For it to all just end so I don't have to face another pain again.

I look at the sky again and see rain falling almost about to touch me.

I look in front of me I see the wave just a few feet away.

I close my eyes and wait for the final blow.

I wait and wait.

Nothing happens.

My eyes open and around me there's a shield.

In front of me there's a boy, smiling, happy, handsome, and warm.

He walks over to me and places his hand over my hand.

Over my heart.

I start crying but I'm not in pain.

For once I'm happy and I'm not faking.

In a world of cold and pain I've found warmth and joy.

Here I have been and here I will stay.

Forever and always.

In my garden of pain.