My childes head lay limply in my lap, his chocolate hair spilling over my
legs. The poor soul. His secret love was in love with his brother, my other
childe. He had spent half the day sitting like this doing nothing but
crying. He was completely heart broken.
I gently stroked his silky hair. My childe..
I sighed to myself. He needed someone to love, someone who would love him back. And now that Raven had Jeff, it couldn't be her anymore. The glow behind the thick curtains was getting dimmer. The sun was setting.
"Mathew," I whispered, stroking his cheek. "Mathew," I said again, louder this time. His eyes snapped open and he looked at me. "The sun is setting, it's time to get up," I said. He sat up and got to his feet. He kissed me, and then turned to go into his room.
"I want you to come feed with me tonight," I said.
"I was planning to just stay home," he said. I stood and walked over to him.
"Please? I want to show you something." He sighed.
"Okay," he said. A door opened down the hallway, and a young girl walked out, followed closely by Jeff. Matt hung his head, and then continued to his room.
"What's wrong with him?" Jeff asked.
"It's not your concern. I'll handle it.
"Now, you turned her last night, correct?"
"Yes. She looks hungry. I'm taking her out to feed. You wanna come?"
"No. Matt and I are going later. You all go on." He took Raven by her pale hand and led her out the door.
******
God. Where was my dagger? I needed it. Where the hell did I put it? I looked everywhere, and I still couldn't find it. I need to get this off my mind before I go crazy. Well, too fucking late.
I grabbed the thing closest to me and threw it with all my vampiric strength against the wall.
Damn him!! Damn me!! I should have told her. Why didn't I? God, I'm so stupid!
Where the hell did I put my dagger?!?! Danmit!
The tears burned as they left a fresh new trail down my face. Tears for her, when she was oblivious. Something I wish I was right now. If only I had my dagger I would be happily oblivious of the pain inside me. The throbbing hurt would be on my arm instead of in my heart and mind.
"Are you looking for something?" a calm, cool voice said from the door entry.
"My dagger. Where is it?" I asked, not stopping my search for it.
"You know damn well where it is. Do you remember the last time you used it?" she asked. Now I looked at her.
"You took it! Give it back!!" I yelled.
"No. And you know the reason why. You can't deal with your problems like that."
"Why not? It's not like it's gonna kill me."
"Mathew, why don't you calm down and think for awhile. The last time you cut yourself to fix your problems it sent you into frenzy. And do you remember what you did? You almost killed Jeffery."
"I would gladly kill Jeffrey now!" I screamed, turning my desk over. My sire just stood in the doorway, looking at me with tired eyes.
The tears flowed down my cheek more steadily now and sobs began racking my body.
What the hell had I just said? Did I mean it? Would I actually kill my own brother? Surly not. What was I becoming? The thing I've been for the past 100 years. A fucking monster!
I fell to my knees with my face in my hands. This was too much. Just too fucking much for me to handle right now.
I gently stroked his silky hair. My childe..
I sighed to myself. He needed someone to love, someone who would love him back. And now that Raven had Jeff, it couldn't be her anymore. The glow behind the thick curtains was getting dimmer. The sun was setting.
"Mathew," I whispered, stroking his cheek. "Mathew," I said again, louder this time. His eyes snapped open and he looked at me. "The sun is setting, it's time to get up," I said. He sat up and got to his feet. He kissed me, and then turned to go into his room.
"I want you to come feed with me tonight," I said.
"I was planning to just stay home," he said. I stood and walked over to him.
"Please? I want to show you something." He sighed.
"Okay," he said. A door opened down the hallway, and a young girl walked out, followed closely by Jeff. Matt hung his head, and then continued to his room.
"What's wrong with him?" Jeff asked.
"It's not your concern. I'll handle it.
"Now, you turned her last night, correct?"
"Yes. She looks hungry. I'm taking her out to feed. You wanna come?"
"No. Matt and I are going later. You all go on." He took Raven by her pale hand and led her out the door.
******
God. Where was my dagger? I needed it. Where the hell did I put it? I looked everywhere, and I still couldn't find it. I need to get this off my mind before I go crazy. Well, too fucking late.
I grabbed the thing closest to me and threw it with all my vampiric strength against the wall.
Damn him!! Damn me!! I should have told her. Why didn't I? God, I'm so stupid!
Where the hell did I put my dagger?!?! Danmit!
The tears burned as they left a fresh new trail down my face. Tears for her, when she was oblivious. Something I wish I was right now. If only I had my dagger I would be happily oblivious of the pain inside me. The throbbing hurt would be on my arm instead of in my heart and mind.
"Are you looking for something?" a calm, cool voice said from the door entry.
"My dagger. Where is it?" I asked, not stopping my search for it.
"You know damn well where it is. Do you remember the last time you used it?" she asked. Now I looked at her.
"You took it! Give it back!!" I yelled.
"No. And you know the reason why. You can't deal with your problems like that."
"Why not? It's not like it's gonna kill me."
"Mathew, why don't you calm down and think for awhile. The last time you cut yourself to fix your problems it sent you into frenzy. And do you remember what you did? You almost killed Jeffery."
"I would gladly kill Jeffrey now!" I screamed, turning my desk over. My sire just stood in the doorway, looking at me with tired eyes.
The tears flowed down my cheek more steadily now and sobs began racking my body.
What the hell had I just said? Did I mean it? Would I actually kill my own brother? Surly not. What was I becoming? The thing I've been for the past 100 years. A fucking monster!
I fell to my knees with my face in my hands. This was too much. Just too fucking much for me to handle right now.