Evince

by Kalimyre

Daniel finds out that taking care of a child is harder than he thought. Part two of the Scion series. SLASH

1. One

Evince

By Kalimyre

Series: Part two of the Scion series

Rating: R

Pairing: Jack/Daniel

Category: Angst, H/C, Established Relationship

Season: Seven

Spoilers: Singularity, general references up to season seven

Warnings: Reference to sexual abuse of a child. Not explicit.

Summary: Taking care of a child is harder than Daniel thought it would be. In this chapter, the truth about the cameras, and why Sam argued so hard against Daniel leaving the team.

Notes: Thanks go out to Noel, Mamabeast, and She Who Must Not Be Named for the great beta work and suggestions.

OOO

"It was bound to happen eventually, Daniel."

He nods, his eyes still on his computer screen, where the report he was writing is displayed, half done, stopping in the middle of a sentence. "I know."

"You were the one who made the decision about leaving SG-1."

"I know, Jack. I'm not arguing with you."

He stares intently at his unfinished work. He's the picture of focus, except that he hasn't typed a word since I came in. "It's a short mission," I tell him. "A cake walk, really. We're trying to..."

"To break the new guy in gently?"

"You know we'd rather have you."

He sighs and finally turns to face me, carefully expressionless. "Don't do this. Don't lay some guilt trip on me because I chose to stay behind."

"It's not a guilt trip," I protest. "I came in here to check on you. To make sure you heard about the mission from me and not some memo."

"And to try and talk me into changing my mind."

I drop onto his couch and take a deep breath. I'm so tired of this conversation. "No, Daniel. You won't take the risk because of the boy. You're responsible for him and can't be leaving the planet for days at a time. First contact is too dangerous for a single parent." Never mind that half the people on our teams are parents. Never mind that Daniel was willing to take the risk when it only meant leaving me behind. I try not to think about that too much.

Daniel is silent, and I'm startled when he rises from his chair and sits beside me, our shoulders bumping briefly. He edges away after that, keeping a respectable distance, mindful of the security camera in his office. "Have I said it so often that you know the words by rote?" he asks, sounding a bit chagrined.

I shrug and say nothing, casting him a sideways glance. His hands are loosely woven together between his knees as he leans forward, watching me. His hair is still flat on one side where he slept on it--we were in a rush this morning and Danny was being uncooperative about getting ready because he didn't want to go back to the childcare center, so Daniel didn't have time for a shower.

He shaved with an electric razor in the car, which means the shadow is already reappearing now, at eleven in the morning. I had time for my normal shower and shave, but that's because I don't wait until the last minute to get out of bed. Daniel is accustomed to his whirlwind morning routine of maximum sleep and minimum breakfast, and he still hasn't accepted that getting a child ready in the mornings means you have to get up earlier.

"Where are you going?" he asks finally, staring at some unspecified point on the wall.

"One of those uninhabited, boring places where it rains a lot and I get bored out of my mind watching you--" I grimace slightly and catch myself. "Watching the science guy remove dirt from rocks with little brushes."

"Actually, the climate on P4C-119 is quite dry," Daniel counters.

I open my mouth and shut it again with a click, staring at him. He gives me a sly smile and shrugs a little. "You knew," I say. "You already knew about the mission."

"Sam told me this morning. And then she tried her level best to talk me into coming along. She showed me pictures of the ruins you would see, and she said it was only a daylong mission, and that the planet was safe and quiet, and so on... for quite a while."

"Ah." I shake my head. Carter should have known better than to try this-- Daniel doesn't budge once his mind is made up--but I can understand her reasoning. We only just got Daniel back from being glowy. We're not ready to part with him so soon. Or ever, for that matter.

"So when you came in here to tell me about this mission..."

"You thought I would do the same thing," I finish.

He nods, offering an apologetic smile. "And it's simply not an option. Even if the planet was guaranteed to be safe, which is impossible, who would take care of Danny tonight while we were off-world?"

"I'm sure Fraiser wouldn't mind one night."

"Jack," he warns.

"Hey, you asked," I say. "I'm only answering your question."

"Of course you are," he mutters. "Look, Jack, I know you're not happy about this. I wish I could somehow have both, that I could be there for Danny and still be on SG-1, but I don't see how that's possible. I had to make a choice, and... and I made it, and that's final."

I'm nodding as he speaks, accepting the familiar words without really hearing them. "So, no wiggle room here, then?"

He sighs and sags into the couch a little, his back curving in a way that makes me wince. In ten years, he's going to be sorry that he slouched so much. "If it helps any," he says, "I'm not thrilled with the idea myself. Being a part of SG-1... you know, I'm still wearing the team patch on my jacket? I meant to take it off this morning, and I... couldn't. But I don't see any better choices here. No matter what I do, somebody is disappointed, somebody is hurt, and all I can try to do is minimize the damage."

"I know." I let our shoulders bump together again, and he flashes a quick smile at me. "You're trying to do what you think is best."

"Right."

"So one night is too long?"

"Jack!"

I hold my hands up, leaning back and dipping my chin a little. "Okay, okay, never mind. Forget I asked. If you never go off-world again, that's your choice. No argument from me. Stay on this planet for the rest of your life, like six billion other people."

He scowls at me for a moment, folding his arms across his chest. "I didn't say never," he points out. "I may go for short scientific missions later, provided there is someone I trust available to watch Danny. But now... he's only been with us for a week. It's too soon."

I nod and settle against the couch, picking up a piece of carved stone from a nearby table and turning it over and over in my hands. "Okay. I can do patience."

Daniel snorts and I look at him sharply, trying for a glare, but it only makes him smile and shake his head. "Sure you can," he says. Then his smile slides away, and he looks down, touching me with occasional flickering glances. "So... who's going with you?"

"Cortez."

"Oh."

"You recommended him."

"I know," Daniel agrees quickly. "He's good. Experienced."

"It's only on a trial basis. If he doesn't work out, we'll go to the next person on your list."

"It's fine, Jack. I know you had to replace me."

I lean toward him, knocking one hand against his shoulder to get his attention. "We're not 'replacing' you, Daniel. We're taking on another anthropologist to try and do your job with even half the skill you had. He is not a replacement, he's a... a place-holder. The position is always yours if you want it back."

A slow smile spreads across his face, and he pushes a fist against my upper arm, nudging me roughly. "Thanks, Jack," he mumbles.

"Sure," I mumble back, shrugging and clearing my throat. A silence that threatens to become deep and meaningful falls between us, and I shift awkwardly on the lumpy couch cushion, rubbing a palm over the back of my neck. "So! Think you can handle one night with the kid on your own?" I ask, a brash, overly cheerful tone cutting through the quiet.

"I'll live," he says dryly. "I think he may be settling down, actually."

Well, that would be nice. Adult Daniel can be impatient and irritating and hard to live with at times, but child Daniel is amazingly inventive when it comes to getting into trouble. He argues and talks back and has such a smart mouth that I wonder how many sarcastic remarks Daniel bites back on a daily basis, if this is how his mind worked when he was seven.

We went grocery shopping with the kid last night, which was a huge headache. He kept running off and hiding from us--he got over that "scared to be separated" thing alarmingly fast--and he thought it was a riot to let us wander through the store, calling for him and getting strange looks from the other customers. I finally threatened to make him sit in the front of the cart like a toddler and he stopped making us chase him. He settled for glaring poisonously at me and sticking random crap in the cart when we weren't looking. He also cast Daniel a lot of these betrayed, mutinous "why aren't you sticking up for me?" looks, which left Daniel feeling both guilty and annoyed.

When Daniel signed on to do this, he thought he went in with both eyes open, but nothing can prepare you for the experience of taking care of a child. The only way to really learn it is to do it, and even then, you're never ahead of the game. You're forever playing catch up, trying to deal with whatever new thing your kid throws at you from day to day.

After all that crap, though, he suddenly turned nice and helpful, carrying groceries in from the truck and chattering to us about what he did in childcare that day. He kept going up to Daniel and hugging him, and when he approached me for the same thing, I tried not to let my surprise show. I just hugged him back and got this amazing grin from him in return, and then he went back to detailing the hieroglyphics that he taught the older kids in the center's after school program.

Later, when he went to bed and Daniel and I could finally catch a moment to ourselves, Daniel explained what the boy was doing. "It's a test," he told me. "He pushed us, made us angry, and then he stopped pushing to see if he was still welcome. To see if we would stay angry with him, or forgive him. Next time he'll probably push harder. It's a cycle that will keep repeating until he's completely satisfied that no matter what he does, we won't send him away or leave him."

"So what do we do about it?"

He shrugged and shook his head. "We give him what he needs. We never threaten to send him away if he's bad--that doesn't mean we don't punish him, but we also don't abandon him. Discipline, yes, but also forgiveness. Once he's sure, he should settle down."

"Great," I muttered, and Daniel sighed and offered me a kiss.

So we used the time available the best way we knew how, and somehow the crappy grocery store trip didn't seem so important anymore.

Now, sitting in Daniel's office the next day, I can't offer a palliative like what we did last night, because of the security camera. So I squeeze his shoulder briefly, give him a tight smile and a nod, and that has to be enough.

"It'll be different when Hammond retires," Daniel tells me, or maybe he's telling himself.

I raise an eyebrow. "Maybe. Maybe I'll be tapped to take his place. Or maybe not. My record isn't exactly spotless, you know."

"Come on," Daniel argues. "After that debacle with General Bauer, how can they risk giving such an important job to someone who doesn't have the experience or the character to handle it? How can they choose anyone but you?"

"You'd be surprised how stupid the people in charge can be. Hell, think about who we've got for a vice president."

Daniel's mouth twists disparagingly. "Kinsey," he growls. "Do you think he had anything to do with Simmons coming around, trying to get at Danny?"

"I wouldn't put it past him," I reply. "Be especially careful tonight. While I'm off-world and you're alone with the kid..."

"Do you think they'd really try something so blatant as kidnapping?" Daniel asks seriously.

I drum my fingertips on my leg, considering the question. "Not now. I think Simmons and his organization are still trying to find some legal way of forcing you to hand the kid over. It helps that you're not military, so they can't just order you to do it. Besides, outright breaking and entering and snatching a child is too high profile for these types. They're more likely to sneak him away without using force."

Daniel nods grimly, frowning at the floor. "Taking him to get groceries last night was probably a dumb idea, wasn't it? Somebody could have picked him up while he was out of our sight at the store."

"We can't watch him every second," I reply. "If we don't allow him a certain amount of freedom, then we're no better than the people who want to take him."

"Didn't I already say something like that?" Daniel asks, smiling.

"There you go. You should listen to yourself."

"Sage advice, Jack," he says drolly. "You're getting wise in your old age."

"Less of the 'old age,' if you don't mind," I growl, shoving at him. He laughs and shoves back, and then he casts a longing look at his unfinished report and the books and pictures scattered about his desk.

"I should--"

"Yeah," I interrupt. "You want to go back to playing with your..." I wave a hand to indicate all his crap. "I'll just go clean my weapon in front of Cortez, and maybe I'll finally get a scientist on my team who knows how to follow orders."

"Cortez has spent the last three years on SG-5, Jack. I chose him specifically because Major Krensky said he was a stubborn pain in the ass who wouldn't know an order if it jumped up and bit him."

I groan theatrically and rub at the back of my neck again, dragging myself off the couch with stiff, exaggerated movements. "Wonderful, Daniel. Thanks so much."

"You're welcome," he replies easily, already getting lost in his work again. I watch him type for a few minutes, watch the expressions chase across his face. A frown of concentration, the tip of his tongue touching the corner of his mouth, eyes widening in comprehension, a tilt of the head, a raised eyebrow, then a furrow down the center of his forehead as he glares at a particularly difficult bit.

It doesn't matter how experienced and smart and stubborn this Cortez guy is. He's not Daniel. No one else comes close.

OOO

Cortez did all right. He's a professional, and while he was clearly a little awestruck at being a part of SG-1, he settled quickly. He's competent, in good shape, and can handle a weapon and a set of digging tools equally well. Of course, I knew all this before I signed off on his transfer to the team. I pored over his weapon qualification records, his reports, and his pattern of behavior in the field and on base. I talked to his teammates, his CO, and Hammond about him. He's not perfect, he's made mistakes a few times, dropped the ball, but as science types go, he's the best available.

Except that he isn't, really. Daniel is the best, he's just not available anymore.

Carter looks around the gateroom expectantly when we come back through, right on schedule, and then sags a bit when she realizes Daniel isn't waiting for us. Teal'c sidles over to her and exudes a little calm in her direction. I offer a semi-salute to the general, looking down at us from the control room, and then lead my team to the infirmary for the usual post mission check. Cortez follows a little behind the three of us, as he has throughout the mission. He's smart enough to know that he's taking the place of a legend, and he doesn't expect us to warm to him immediately.

I didn't really expect Daniel to be waiting for us. It was a routine mission, quiet and pretty damn boring from where I stood, and we weren't overdue or in any kind of trouble. He's a busy man with a job to do, and there was no reason for him to stand around in the gateroom just so he could see us the second we got back on the planet. We were only gone a day. So there's no reason to be disappointed that he wasn't there. I'm not disappointed. Carter might be, but I'm not. Really.

"Hey, Doc," I call out as we walk into the infirmary. It's busy today--SG- 6 sits around in various states of muddy and bleeding, looking like they lost a fight with a landslide. Siler is on his usual bed in the corner, with a nurse putting clean bandages on some electrical burns. I can see a curtained off bed with the silhouette of a sleeping man on it--that would be Jameson. He's still recovering from the staff blast he took last week. It was touch and go for him for a while, but now the doc says he'll pull through.

"Colonel," Fraiser replies, sweeping past us with a sheaf of files in one hand and her trusty penlight in the other. She treats that thing the way I treat my P-90. "Grab a bed and sit down. Someone will be with you shortly."

"Right." So I sit down, and the others follow suit. Cortez sits next to Carter and starts speaking to her quietly. Those two hit it off right away. The new guy is serious, levelheaded and rational, not at all like Daniel, who tends to work on instinct and intuition. I haven't decided yet if this is an improvement, but Carter loves it.

Soon enough, the nurses get around to poking us, and we're separated out to little curtained off cubicles for the oh so lovely after mission shot in the ass. Carter and Cortez are still chattering at each other through the curtain, and Teal'c, who doesn't need the shot, thanks to the tretonin he takes, has already made his escape. I sit on my bed, holding a cotton ball to the spot inside my elbow where blood was just drawn and waiting for the nurse to show up with the needle, but instead, Fraiser ducks around the curtain.

"Colonel," she says, looking at me steadily. "Could we have a word?"

"Okay..." I reply slowly. "What's up?"

She hops up beside me, perching on the edge of the bed, and leans in close. "I would appreciate it if you spoke to Daniel for me," she says in a low voice.

"About what?"

"About putting young Danny in therapy."

Oh, that again. "Doc..."

She cuts me off with a sharp chop of her hand in the air. "While you were gone, I treated Danny for a dog bite."

I sit up straighter, my guts lurching unsteadily. "What? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" She knows about Daniel and I, which became unavoidable when she discovered evidence during a full physical, and she has agreed to look the other way, provided that we are discrete and keep our relationship strictly off base. She also knows how I get about kids being hurt. This is something I would have wanted to know right away.

She's shaking her head. "It was very minor," she assures me. "The dog was small, and while the bite did break the skin, the dog's owner had a record of rabies shots available, and all I had to do was clean and disinfect the area and apply a small bandage. The point is, he wouldn't have been bitten at all if he wasn't trying to hurt the animal."

"I find that hard to believe," I tell her stiffly. "Daniel would never be deliberately cruel, especially not to an animal."

"We're not talking about Daniel," she shoots back. "We're talking about Danny, who is a very troubled little boy who apparently decided to take out some of his frustrations by hurting your neighbor's dog."

I raise my eyebrows, feeling my mouth drop open in a rather undignified manner, but unable to stop it. "The neighbor's dog? You mean that little brown mutt that lives across the street from me? The one that tries to lick me to death every time I come home?"

"That's what Daniel said," Fraiser replies grimly. "Apparently, he caught Danny trying to tie a rope around the dog's hind legs and swing him. He'd already swung and let him go several times, sending him flying across the yard to land pretty hard, seeing as he only had two legs free to catch himself. The dog had managed to get loose of the rope and Danny was struggling to retie him when he was bitten. Understandable, considering what he was doing."

"Jesus," I mutter, scrubbing a hand over my face. "And I was thinking about getting the kid a dog of his own."

Fraiser pats my shoulder, giving me an earnest look of concern. "Now you see why I want Danny to be in therapy? I know that Daniel wants to wait, but I doubt that he will ever consider the boy to be ready. I already have an excellent child psychiatrist who has the necessary clearance. It took months to find him and get the clearance for him, when I first adopted Cassie. Doctor Manfield spent some time with her then, and was a great help to both of us."

"Did you tell Daniel this after the kid was bitten?"

She nods. "He still insists that therapy will do more harm than good. Since he is the boy's legal guardian, it's his right to refuse treatment, including psychological treatment. I am, however, hoping that you can talk him out of it."

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "I'll give it a shot, doc, but I can't make any guarantees."

"That's all I ask, Colonel, is that you try."

The upside of the whole conversation was that Fraiser got sidetracked and forgot to give me that shot. However, now I have to go brace Daniel on a subject that is already very touchy for him, and try to convince him to do something that he is dead set against. I think I would have preferred the shot.

OOO

I check Daniel's office first, then the main lab of the archeology department, and I look at the briefing schedule, but he isn't due for any briefings and he's not in any of his usual places. I have to write my report on the mission and submit it before I can go home, so I do that, and then I spend some more time stomping around the mountain, getting more and more fed up.

When I find my way to Carter's lab again, she speaks without looking up from her computer. "He's not here, sir. I haven't seen him." Then she glances at me, her fingers tapping lightly at the keyboard without actually pressing any of the keys. "Why are you so determined to find him?"

I shrug and pull up a stool, resting my elbows on one of the lab benches. "No real reason. Just bored."

She nods, her thumbs tracing lightly over the space bar like her own brand of worry stone. "Maybe he's upset. I mean, it's not like him to avoid us, especially when we've just returned from a mission. He could have at least said hi."

"Why would he be upset?" I ask casually, picking up a watch-sized metal ring with wires coming out of it and spinning it like you spin a quarter on its edge. It wobbles twice and falls down, the wires ruining its balance.

"We left without him."

I snort and shake my head. "It's not like we kicked him off the team. He chose to stay behind."

"It can't be easy for him," she insists. "I'm sure he didn't want to leave the team. He had to give it up for Danny."

I have a pretty good idea why Daniel is avoiding us, and I don't think it has much to do with the team going off-world without him. He knows Fraiser would have told me about Danny and the dog, and he doesn't want to talk about it. But that whole mess is not something Carter needs to know about, so I just grunt noncommittally and try to spin the metal ring again.

Carter sighs and gamely tries again. "Teal'c says we have to let Daniel choose his own path, and that trying to hold him back will only make him pull away harder."

"Mmm-hmm." Almost got a triple spin out of it that time.

"Sir." Her hand comes out and covers the ring, keeping me from picking it up again. "Are you just going to let him do this?"

"Let him?" I lean back and raise my eyebrows, rapping my knuckles on the surface of the lab bench. "How do you propose I stop him? He's a grown man, in case you hadn't noticed."

"But he's making a mistake," she argues. "He loves SG-1, loves doing first contact. We need him."

"Danny needs him."

She sighs and slumps in her chair, letting her fingertips glide lightly over the keyboard again. "And he chose the boy over us."

I shift uneasily on the stool and scrub at the nape of my neck with one hand. I hate these kinds of conversations. "Carter..."

She holds a hand up, shaking her head. "No, no, I know that's not fair. It was a once in a lifetime chance for him. Danny is personally linked to him in a way that Cassie wasn't linked to me."

I tilt my head to one side, suddenly seeing why Carter has a problem with this. "Is that what this is about? You were willing to give up your chance to adopt Cassie for the sake of the team, and you resent the fact that he wouldn't do the same?"

"No!" she says sharply, staring at me. "No. It's not like that at all." Then she frowns and picks up the metal ring that she confiscated from me, giving it a spin of her own. It whirls several times before toppling over, and I cast a brief glare at it. I knew her gadgets didn't like me.

"If you say so, Carter."

Her jaw tightens and she drops her chin, fingering the tangle of wires coming out of the metal ring. "Maybe it's like that," she admits. "It's just... Cassie was a long time ago. Six years. I figured I still had plenty of time to find someone, have kids of my own. I wasn't giving up my only chance."

I swallow and wish I had that ring to occupy my hands. This is coming perilously close to a discussion of Carter's "thing" for me, something I avoid at all costs.

"It's not fair to ask Daniel to give up his only chance," she says, winding some wire around a finger, focusing intently on it so she doesn't have to look at me. Carter knows about Daniel and I, but she's not entirely comfortable with it, and she doesn't like to talk about it. We both know that Daniel is still young, and that if the situation were different, him getting remarried and having children would certainly be possible. Except that he's with me, and that makes Danny his only chance. My only chance, too.

"You still could..." I start awkwardly, rubbing my fingertips on the smooth metal surface of the lab bench and watching the streak of moisture evaporate within seconds.

She laughs shortly. "I'm past forty, now, sir, and even if I were in a position to have a family, I'm still not prepared to give up my career."

"Oh," I mutter. This is not the kind of conversation I want to have with my 2IC. We're friends, and I told the truth a few years back when I admitted I'd rather die than lose her--but the same holds true for any of my team. Even so, there has always been a kind of professional distance between us, a product of the military rank system and Carter's own strict adherence to protocol. She's coming very close to overstepping her bounds here.

"Sorry, sir" she says suddenly. "This is the kind of thing I should talk to Janet about. I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine," I interrupt. "No problem."

She nods and offers a strained smile, and then turns back to her computer. "Tell Daniel we missed him out there, but that I'm happy for him, would you, sir?"

I recognize a dismissal when I hear it, and I'm frankly relieved to get out of there. "Sure, Carter," I call over my shoulder as I head out the door. "Will do."

I could check with Teal'c again, because sometimes Daniel likes to meditate with him, but I'm not sure if I'm up to another heart to heart with a team member. Teal'c has this quality of brutal honesty that often tramples right over any comfortable, casual barriers I might have. He says things like "we are brothers" that I don't know how to respond to. And besides, I have a better idea.

One call to the front gate confirms what I should have known. Daniel left the mountain hours ago. It's rare for him to leave early, but technically he can leave whenever he finishes his work for the day. In a way, it's good, because I didn't want to have the argument that I know is coming on base. Of course, if he's retreated all the way to his house, instead of going to my place like he usually does, it could be bad.

I consider calling ahead, to find out exactly where he is, but decide against it. He's most likely at my place, where all of Danny's clothes and toys are. Better to have the element of surprise on my side.

OOO