ASA 4: Stinky Pie

By NocturneD

Note: meh another one shot. Contains crude humor so you have been warned. Also some gross immature things.

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Another beautiful day in Ponyville. Birds were chirping. Wind was blowing. Flowers blossoming. All the ponies were enjoy their day.

Pinkie Pie woke up to greet the day and rushed off to start making desserts. She made her quota for the morning. Mrs. Cake came into the kitchen to stop at the doorway then sniffed the air, "Pinkie did you take a bath this morning? Because it stinks in here."

Pinkie sniffed her arm pit ignoring the wavy lines coming from it. She smiled, "Nope."

Mrs. Cake was irked by this, "Pinkie Pie you know hygiene is important."

"I know. I brushed my teeth this morning." Pinkie smiled.

"How come they're still yellow?" Mrs. Cake frowned.

"I just ate yellow frosting silly." Pinkie bounced and bounced, the wavy lines followed her.

"Pinkie Pie. I'm ordering you to brush your teeth and take a shower!" Mrs. Cake shouted while trying to cover her nose.

Pinkie sighed in defeat and walked slowly out the kitchen, "Alright..." The pink stinky pony walked up the stairs and entered the bathroom. She walked right up to the mirror and pulled out her tooth brush, she accidently slammed her elbow into the sink and dropped the tooth brush into the toilet. Pinkie moaned. "I'll just use Mr. Cakes." She took his tooth brush and scrubbed her teeth over and over until they looked decent. She banged her elbow again and dropped Mr. Cake's tooth brush into the toilet. She beamed at the toilet angrily and pulled out the toothbrushes then threw them into the sink. She looked for her deodorant but could not find it. She would use Mr. Cakes but she already used his tooth brush. She walked over to the bathtub and tried to turn on the water to only find out the water line was broken. She found bathroom spray and sprayed it all over her self. "There. Now I smell like flowers!" She clapped happily. More like crappy flowers.

Pinkie Pie went outside and the spray wore off instantly. She bounced happily through out Ponyville unaware that her B.O. is killing the plant life. This pissed Apple Jack off as her apple trees died once Pinkie set foot on her property. Apple Jack sniffed the pink pony and wretched in disgust. "Pinkie Pie you smell worse than my cows! Even worse than granny Smith's perfume!"

"Oh don't be like that silly." Pinkie smiled.

"No seriously you smell!" Apple Jack protested.

"That's mean!" Pinkie argued.

"Just get the hell out of here!" Apple Jack fumed.

"Okay..." Pinkie put up no fight and bounced the other way.

Then she came across Fluttershy's cottage to find the yellow pegasus tending to her animals.

"Hey Fluttershy!" Pinkie waved.

Just then the singing birds fell over and died.

Fluttershy held her nose closed, "Oh... hey Pinkie."

"What are you doing?" Pinkie asked.

"Going to bury my animals apparently." Fluttershy sighed.

"Do you need help?" Pinkie asked.

"Unless you want to go in the ground too." Fluttershy mumbled.

"I'll take that as a no." Pinkie bounced to her next destination.

The boutique where Rarity worked. Pinkie knocked on the door

Rarity answered it and found it was Pinkie and she smelled very bad today. She wretched, "Oh hello Pinkie darling."

"Do you need any help?" Pinkie asked.

A gust of wind picked up and Rarity got a blast of BO into her nose. She threw up and passed out on the floor.

"I guess no then." Pinkie turned around and looked for Rainbow Dash.

Apparently the rainbow pony was hiding again. She traveled more and did not notice the disgusted ponies. Then she went to Twilight Sparkle and knocked on her door. Twilight was prepared this time she had stink spray, air fresheners and scented candles at her disposal. She opened the door and found Pinkie. At this time Pinkie had flies rotating around her.

"Hey Pinkie." Twilight put on a gas mask.

"Every pony is acting weird today. It's like they're insulting me saying I smell." Pinkie pondered.

Twilight beamed, "Really? Don't think it might have to do with your hygiene?"

Pinkie tapped her own chin, "Mmmm... Nope."

"Jesus Christ Pinkie that bum outside smells better than you. And he smells like dead animals." Spike peaked his head through the door.

Pinkie then started to cry. "Do I really smell!"

"YES!" Just then the other friends came along and watched Pinkie bawl all over the ground.

"I'm sorry... I'll take a bath." Pinkie cried.

"The water line is broken in our area Pinkie." Twilight reminded her.

"I got an idea." Rainbow Dash smirked.

And with that. Rainbow Dash made Pinkie go through the carriage (car) wash with no carriage. Figuring a light clean should do it. She put in seven bits for the wash to start. Dash and the others watched from the window watching the carriages go by and found Pinkie being sprayed with high pressured water and soap.

"Won't that hurt her?" Twilight asked, "Let alone kill her?"

"Nah. She's a tough pony." Dash waved off.

"And yet no pony stopped us from doing this?" Apple Jack asked.

Pinkie came out the other end being dried off by the carriage wash employees. She was all fluffy, clean and smelled like a new carriage. Thanks to Jose putting an air fresher around her neck. Pinkie smiled and bounced happily to her friends. Rarity liked this and wanted to go through the carriage wash as well. She wanted the best wash. Dash put in ten bits for the supreme special wash. The ponies watched Rarity go through the carriage wash like Pinkie did earlier only with some additions. It was all smiles at first until the hot wax come on. The ponies screamed in horror as Rarity came out the other end with barely any fur and hair left just blisters and blood patches.

Pinkie walked up to Spike, "Take a letter Spike. Dear princess Celestia. Today I learned that while outside should not be judged and the inside should. The outside still covers hygiene. Ignoring it will only affect how your friends and every pony around you will think that you can not take care of yourself or don't care. Brush twice a day and after every meal. Use deodorant before you go out. Comb your hair. Don't let ponies think you just woke up. Sincerely Pinkie Pie. PS. The car wash is super fun!"

"Was it okay I wrote it on a napkin?" Spiked asked.

"AH I'M A FREAK!" Rarity cried in pain. "CALL AN AMBULANCE!"

"Thanks for choosing Carl's Carriage Wash." Jose put an air freshener around Rarity's horn.

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note: yeah i just wanted to make another one of these stories. i'm not on crack just want to ask does Pinkie seem like the type to just let herself go? Also yes hygiene is important. Also saw some idiot drive his motorcycle with him still on it through the car wash. brilliant.