A/N: Found this in my archives and decided to publish it. Set in S8. (it would have to be that T/Z didn't date between S3 and S4).
Disclaimer: characters not mine, but oh how I adore them!
Tony DiNozzo sighed at his desk.
"It's over with Amy," he informed McGee and Ziva, who were seated at their own desks."She got back together with her ex-boyfriend."
It's about time, Ziva thought, That girl was nothing but trouble.
It was true. Amy, precious Amy, was a heart and soul vegan, and a meditation freak. She didn't wear closed-toed shoes and didn't bathe as much as she should. She also only drank wheatgrass juice. Any girl like that was the wrong fit for a DiNozzo.
"Maybe it was for the best," Ziva said, trying to sound sympathetic, but struggling. She could tell Tony wasn't so much emotionally affected by this than simply peeved. No one liked not being picked over someone else, but Tony especially hated it.
"Yeah…" he agreed half-heartedly. "Wait, what do you mean, 'for the better'?"
"Tony, the girl would not stop trying to change you, you said it yourself that you despised it!" she exclaimed, his state of mind frustrating her.
"OK, that part was annoying," he agreed.
"I am sure it was. What could have possibly made up for that?" she asked, but regretted it before the words left her mouth. She knew the answer.
"She was fantastic in the bedroom department."
"Maybe your lack of emotional attachment is why she chose to go back," Ziva supplied, resting her chin on the heel of her hand.
"Ziva, he's a forty-five year old accountant that reads poetry at a juice bar on Saturday nights. Could there be anything more lame?"
She chuckled. "When we met, you told me you played charades on Saturday nights," she said, fondly remembering it, and at his desk, McGee laughed.
"OK, regardless, neither of them have an impulsive bone in their bodies. Amy won't even eat cheese. They probably just lay in bed talking about their feelings."
"You know, Tony, a relationship's not just about the physical aspect," McGee said, and Tony laughed.
"Oh, that's rich coming from you, McVirgin," he said, mimicking wiping a tear from his eye. McGee pouted and returned to his work, regretting ever listening to Tony.
"McGee is right, Tony," Ziva said. "What happens in the bedroom isn't everything."
He sauntered over to her desk, standing over her.
"But you agree that it's important." It was neither a question nor statement. But it did demand an answer, and Ziva put on a dignified face to deliver it.
"Yes."
"And what about Ray?"
Ziva's eyes widened. She was actually a little offended. That was pretty far to pry, even for Tony.
"That is none of your business," she said sternly, her usual reply to his overly personal questions.
He winced. "Ooh, that bad, huh?"
She knew too well that he was trying to get a rise out of her, and she also knew that it was working. But she refused to let him win.
"I guess you will never know. Anyway, what did she see in this accountant in the first place?"
Tony turned and paced the distance between their desks. "I don't know…she said something about spirituality."
"Something you certainly don't have," McGee chimed in, feeling the need to comment even though he knew there was a good chance he would be insulted again.
"But they seem wrong for each other. He's just another guy, another weirdo. I don't get it."
Ziva sighed. "Love is love, Tony. You can try your hardest but when you love someone, you can't change that. And even if she didn't love him, there must have been something between them. There is something that makes every relationship seem irresistible; something that makes it work, no matter the circumstances."
"So you're saying every potential couple has something that makes their relationship great?"
"I suppose I am," she agreed.
"Then what if you and I got together?"
Her eyes widened, and McGee shot him a look.
"Look, that's not what I meant," he defended. "I just meant, what would our irresistible thing be?"
That was quite possible the strangest question Ziva had ever heard. But that didn't mean she didn't have an answer.
She stood, leaning in, and now the desk was the only thing separating them.
Stop it, Ziva, a voice inside her said. You have a boyfriend, and his name is Ray, remember?
If it could have, the voice would have sighed. There was no getting through to her.
"I think you know the answer, Tony," she said, giving him her infamous 'elevator eyes'.
As much as he willed it not to, that remark sent his mind into a frenzy full of images he shouldn't even be picturing at all, let alone at work and while he was just inches from her.
She smiled, satisfied that she could still get the better of him.
"Yes," she added. "I think that would definitely be sufficient."
A/n: The end!