(KAI) Title is inspired by, "A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings. -Earl Wilson."
These drabbles cover episodes one and two. Features AbeMihashi, SuyamaSakaeguchi, and ShigaMomoe.
The First Day
He didn't understand. Not even a little. Here was this skinny, cowering mess, crying without restraint on the ground at their feet, and Abe didn't understand.
The First Day
Mihashi is terrified of Abe's kindness, and of his bluntness. It is at once refreshing, and at the other like a very tall ladder which much be climbed, to jump from, in order to fall into the water below. Water that would be guilt, ineptitude, and selfishness. He wanted to tell Abe, to scream at him, not to give him a chance. To walk, run, away, and not waste his time. But Abe's face is impassive, or he smiles a confident, crooked smile, and both faces scare the truth that Mihashi knows deep, deep down, where it cannot escape his mouth.
And when Abe praises him, his heart soars, but his mind shoots it down.
To Ohno
When Mr. Shiga asks Abe to attend to Mihashi, he senses something in his voice that he can't quite describe. A knowingness. Perhaps a smugness. There's something, some subtext that he isn't quite reading in the big man's words. But then Mr. Shiga grins and Abe thinks that he must just be feeling cross from sitting for so long.
Mihashi is leaning back, his feet wedged in the forward seat, and as they talk, and as he cries, he feels a stir of pity. It's been two weeks, and he is… used to the crying. Mihashi cries frequently, generally for short periods of time, and he wonders how anyone could be like that. But he thinks, As long as he can hold himself together and be our ace, I can mold him. He just has to listen to me. I can learn to tolerate him, as long as he listens.
He takes the pity and wraps it up, impatient.
He knows he shouldn't have sat in the back of the bus, but he's too shy to get up and move. He doesn't want to bother the other guys, doesn't want to risk being told to move back, or to be thought of as weird. He's so tired, but even in the lull of the bus he cannot drift off.
Abe's voice is a terrifying and welcome distraction- until the stress and the bland look in Abe's eyes trigger the frustrated tears that have been hiding behind his eyes. Talking about his fears- not being ace, failing to change- only highlights the sad, unfortunate quirk of his personality he thinks he needs to change. He cries, softly, between his words, and for a moment, forgets that Abe is there. But he is there, and when Mihashi takes a deep breath, he sees him and nearly panics. That bland look.
He wants to say something, apologize, beg, something, but Abe has already leaned back and closed his eyes, as if going to sleep, or only thinking. Mihashi doesn't want to bother him, so he curls up tighter, leans against the cool window, and tries to smooth the hiccup out of his breath.
He wishes he could be as composed and cool as Abe.
To Ohno
They had been talking, of all things, about politics. Before that, a documentary they had watched together the night before- the documentary being what brought on the politics. Sakaeguchi was not necessarily adept at such talks, but Suyama was, and Yuuto liked to listen to Suyama talk. They had talked a long time last night, as well. Often, bursting with commentary, Suyama would pause the film and expound excitedly about some insight to which he'd been privy.
Yuuto, patiently, listened, occasionally learned something, and smiled.
It had been a while now, and Suyama was running out of steam. Staying over had been his idea, so that they could save on their parents' resources and go to the bus together. Despite their good intentions, they had lain in Shoji's futon for hours after the film had ended, talking and laughing, before finally falling asleep. Now, halfway to Ohno, they were both running low on energy.
Suyama fell quiet, and followed Sakaeguchi's gaze out the window. The world outside was quiet, green, and soothing. Yuuto turned to him and smiled, and his stomach turned, once, in strange nervousness. It wasn't long that he let his head back and fell asleep, gradually slipping over until his cheek rested on the head of his classmate.
Yuuto relaxed. This reminded him of last night on the futon- sharing the not so large space, and being warm and content. Their backs had been flush together when they finally went to sleep, and he couldn't think of too many things in this world nicer than that. Having Shoji fall asleep against him, though, that was close.
The scenery began to blur and fade. He was remembering something about the documentary, something about his swing, something about being a little hungry, something about the color blue, and then he was asleep, cheek on Suyama's warm shoulder.
Dust
When Abe defends his pitching, Mihashi feels his face flush. Has that… ever happened? Has he ever been defended? That nearly accepted feeling he had begun to experience, the first day he met Abe, when the boy had said, with excitement, "What other kinds of pitches do you have?" blossomed in him, stirred up like a dust devil.
The dust devil falls flat when he lands on his back, toppling from the wooden block, but Abe looking down on him, asking after him, that helps the dust devil not to die.
Head of the Table
Sometimes, when Shiga looks at her, she feels like a schoolgirl again. And he really isn't all that much older; he'll be thirty soon, only seven years older than her. And not a full seven, because she'll be turning twenty-four before too long. She thinks about these things, when they talk. As they drove to Ohno, as they prepped their young team.
She thought of such things before, when she had been approached to be their club's advisor. Maria had been startled at happy; it could have been any of the physical education teachers, or even the health teacher, but the one who wanted to resurrect baseball at Nishiura was… her favorite teacher, from when she had been a student.
She had been so excited, though at first she only partially understood why.
As the boys cleared their bowls and the table, she sat back, looked at Shiga, and pretended not to notice his bare ring finger. He smiled at her, adjusting his glasses. She grinned, blushed, and lay back. Daydreaming was all she needed for now. Daydreaming, and feeling like a schoolgirl again.