{Alright, the reason I'm writing this is because the guy who wrote a Deadpool Zombieland crossover did a totally different story. Personally, I wanted the crossover. I want to see lots of crossovers (especially ones that seem unlikely (really love those)).}

"Are you going to write the story yet? I mean, I'm standing in some nothingness over here!"

{Hold on, I have to say what's on my mind.}

"Fuck that, I wanna kill some zombies already!"

{Goddamn it, fine. Let's get this show on the road!}

"Woo hoo!" *bang bang, bang bang* "those are gun noises..!"

¥...∆...¥ "what the hell are these about?"

Shush, Deadpool!

Its weird how things can go to bad, to total shit storm.

When the virus struck, the obvious to go were the fattys.

"Heh, that's you too!"

...!

The infection went through the cities as well, and with the feasting of people it grew. More were becoming the swarm of undead and eating more folks like mcburgers.

Running wasn't an option, well, at least not the option you should use only. Using a gun would help greatly. But its pointless if you can't even hold it properly because... It will fly right back at you.

So buckle up, cause its a ride to hell to Zombieland!

Columbus, not his name but where he's from, was walking down the road. Luggage in his hand and a shotgun in the other. It was a road full of car bodies, none to ever be used again.

He was deep in thought, a list of rules if you will. Like a kid with some kind of disorder.

Traveling lightly, not just the bits in his luggage, but in relationships too. He treated people like Zombies even before there were zombies. I don't mean he was a murderous psycho path. I mean he wasnt social.

In the distance, there was a car up ahead. It drove in a fast pace, not even trying to be careful. Columbus put his luggage down and he held his shotgun in both hands.

The car slowed down, a heap of dry rubber smoke came about as the car came to a stop. Columbus aimed his gun at the car, and saw the man stepping out of the car. He had a skin tight red suit and-

"Hold on! Hold on! Are you telling me that you replaced Talihasse with me!"

Columbus looked at the man oddly, seeing as he was screaming at the sky.

"Don't egnore me!"

{Yes... I did. I had to, I couldn't see a possible way to have the two of you in the story. There was just no way.}

"What if you had him ride in on a motorcycle!"

{Sorry Deadpool, but its not happening.}

He sighed with sadness.

Columbus turned around and walked away, not wanting to see what was up with this guy. Deadpool, however, ran after him.

"Hey! Wait up buddy!" Deadpool called.

Columbus slowed up and sighed to himself 'stay calm, he's probably not psycho bad.'

Deadpool came up to him and took a deep breath "where are you heading?!" He asked the skinny man.

Columbus told him where he was planning to go, Columbus obviously.

"Heh. That's cute, Columbus." Deadpool said in his cocky manner.

They both got in the car, and Deadpool looked all over the vehicle. He found guns, his anyway.

He put his hands on the wheel, and had a big grin under his mask "oh boy! Were going to have a good ol' fashion drive. Are you excited, Columbus?!"

Columbus, trying not to upset the crazy man nodded in agreement with a fake smile.

The drive was the most scariest thing ever, he was driving the vehicle like some a cocaine crazed monkey. I don't know if that analogy works, but I think you at least get the picture.

Columbus was holding on for dear life while Deadpool was trying to do stunts and fancy stuff.

"What's on the radio?" He asked.

There was just static.

"Oh, its the OST of the snow show!" Deadpool said, trying to make fuzzy noised nonsense with the radio. Columbus was just as surprised as he was earlier when the guy was screaming to the sky.

"Uhh! Hey, what's your name?" He said, trying to break the silence, well, trying to make things more homely.

Deadpool pulled out a CD from out of nowhere and put it in the CD player. "Just listen to the song." Deadpool said.

Pretty much, it was just some jazzy song about Deadpools name. It was the most obvious thing ever, Columbus now knew the name.

"Oh look, its a zombie!" Deadpool said, as he ran over the woman eating the man. "Sorry to interrupt your manwitch, lady." He quipped.

They continued driving along the road, right by the silent woods.

"I wonder if Legolas and that hot elven chick are in there."

{That would be the case if this was a lord of the rings crossover.}

"Damn."

Columbus just let it slide, already he was use to the shenanigans of Deadpool.

They had arrived to the store, the parkinglot had some cars but only three. Deadpool was looking for chimichangas, obviously. He stepped out of the car, unholstering his guns

"Let's go hunting. For Chimichangas, but also Zombies."

"Wait, are you sure...?"

Deadpool ignored Columbus and kept walking in. He sighed and said "I guess I should follow him."

Columbus went inside, looking around and seeing the registers. It was the purgatory isle. Till he heard gun shots in one of the store isles. He ran toward the noise, knowing it had to be Deadpool.

"Deadpool?!" Columbus cried.

"Say Marco polo." Deadpool shouted back.

"What?" Columbus didn't really want to play games. Especially if they were in a zombie infested store.

"Do it, or ya won't find me!"

Columbus called out "Marco."

"Polo!"

"Marco."

The one to find Marco wasn't Deadpool. It was someone else who wasn't playing. Well, something now.

Columbus ran from it, he did fire off his shotgun but it hardly did anything.

"Marco! Marco! Marco!" Columbus screamed, looking for Deadpool.

He ran circles in the isles, screaming for Deadpool. Found more zombies instead.

"Hold on slugger, I'm coming!"

Deadpool finally found Columbus and the zombies only to chase them all around like some Benny Hill endtro.

{Benny Hill was this comedy show that always had the host, Benny, chasing a bunch of these people. Think family guy or Simpsons, I don't know.}

"Ha! Hipster."

{I'm not a hipster!}

"Whaaaaa'aatever."

He pulled out his katanas and cut the fat zombies down, one by one. Like giant meaty birthday cakes, falling down as slices.

Columbus fell on his bottom and saw all these sliced up bodies. He was breathing heavily while gasping a lot. He looked at Deadpool in surprise and thanks.

Deadpool grabbed Columbus's hand and helped him up "don't worry, I got your back Columbo."

At the conner of there eyes, there was a girl. She had dark hair blue eyes and-

"Boobies!"

... Yeah, that too.

She looked at Deadpool with quivering lips "come help... Please. My sister is sick and we need help."

She ran back to the room she came from, Deadpool following her because she was a magnet and she attracted him. Eh, I've done better then this.

"I should hope so."

Columbus followed, not before he put a box in between the door way by the room. He wanted to make sure they could get out of there in case things went haywire.

But none the less, they followed the beautiful woman down to where they kept the meat. Where the young girl crying was.