I wrote this after watching 'Michael'. It has a few non-canon references, but other than that, it's as canon as I can get it. There's no specific timeline, but assume it's sometime after 'Michael'. This was written quickly, and it's not beta-d, so be warned.

Also, I would like to say that I wrote this because I want to know what's going on inside his head. I was to know what emotions he feels at certain times, how he justifies his actions, and though this isn't a very good show of that, it's a start of what I think he does.

Tell me what you think?


Sebastian watched silently as Kurt Hummel wrapped his arms around Blaine Anderson and kiss his boyfriend on the cheek. The grip Sebastian had on his latte tightened, but his eyes didn't leave the couple, on the other side of the cafe, as they stared into each other's eyes lovingly.

It was disgusting.

They were too in love. Sebastian knew they thought they'd be together forever, have little gay babies, live happily ever after, just as he knew that this was completely wrong. Kurt and Blaine couldn't stay together. They both had far too bright futures ahead of them to stay with one person throughout it all. They respected each other's dreams and encouraged them, not realizing they would tear them apart eventually. Kurt would be on Broadway, blowing audiences away with his spectacular voice. Blaine would be the heart-throb pop artist that girls had posters of on their walls.

Sebastian had no idea what he wanted with his life, except that he wanted it to be in music. He loved singing; it was the only thing he ever loved. He didn't know if he wanted to follow Kurt's path, to Broadway, or Blaine's to professional singing, or if he wanted to do something completely different. It irritated him that they could be so sure of everything.

Kurt and Blaine kissed, and he had to look away. It wasn't fair. Their love, all-consuming and perfect and happy, wasn't fair. The fact that those two extraordinary people got that, as well as their God-given gifts, made him sick. He wanted to be in love. He, Sebastian, wanted to feel wanted. For just once in his life, he wanted to be the one to get what he wanted without sneaking, or lying, or manipulating. He didn't care if it didn't last forever.

His first boyfriend had been last year. The guy, Mitchell, had been a junior while Sebastian was a sophomore, but he didn't know that. He thought Sebastian was nice, easy-going Seb, in junior year at Carmel High. He thought Seb was innocent and had, subsequently, taken his virginity and dumped him a month later. Sebastian had been so sure he'd been the one with power, the one telling lies to make things go his way, but he'd been surprised how much it hurt when Mitchell left a note after he left one morning, apologising and saying he was dropping out and leaving town the next day.

That was his first, and last relationship. He'd convinced himself he didn't want one, because all boys were the same and would hurt him, so he just had a string of one night stands or hand jobs behind one of the many gay bars he frequented, and Sebastian fooled himself into thinking he was satisfied with life.

Then he met Blaine, and Kurt, and realized he wanted exactly what they had and didn't have any idea of how to get it.

At first, he tried to get with Blaine, and it didn't work. Kurt Hummel was so fiercely protective of what was his, he never let Blaine even consider it. Plus, Blaine loved his boyfriend too much. It never would have worked.

Then he tried to get Kurt. When the boy was at the Lima Bean alone, Sebastian had tried talking to him, but the brunette just shut him down with his sarcastic insults that had secretly Sebastian laughing inside. Yes, Sebastian realized he was much better suited with Kurt, but the boy was clinging onto Anderson so terribly hard, probably because he was his first love, and only saw him as a threat to his relationship. He was, but not that way. He didn't want Blaine, he wanted Kurt, but the boy remained stubborn and Sebastian had, eventually, given up. Maybe he was meant to be alone, or maybe he needed lessons on not being a sly, conniving douche.

He watched Kurt rest his head on Blaine's shoulder from the corner of his eye and he stood up, leaving his now-cold latte, and walked out of the shop.

He didn't notice two pairs of eyes following him to his car, and he didn't know anyone was watching when he punched his window in frustration and possibly, though he wouldn't admit it, sadness. He thought he was being ignored when he leaned his head against his car door and took a deep, shuddering breath, willing his thoughts away from the consuming jealousy and anger that was boiling inside him.

He got into his car and drove away, not realizing those eyes were watching him, and decided he would never go to the Lima Bean again, if there was a chance they would be there.


Kurt looked at Blaine, whose eyes still followed Sebastian in that car.

"What do you think that was about?" the brunette asked casually, carefully watching Blaine's face. The shorter boy shrugged, and moved his eyes to Kurt.

"I don't know. Did he seem upset to you? Like, angry or sad or frustrated or something."

Kurt raised his eyebrows. "You speak as if the boy could feel human emotion. He's soulless and evil, Blaine."

The ex-Warbler nodded slowly as Kurt spoke, the words said with venom he didn't know the love of his life possessed.

"He's not worth your thought Blaine. He's not worth anyone's thought, or emotion. Forget him."


Not sure about the ending, but... what do you think?