A/N: This is my first time actually publishing a fic of mine like this so I'm kinda nervous. But basically the band The Cure has always reminded me strongly of Vauseman so I got this idea to write a fic of them to their songs. To be clear, this is a one big story but each chapter features one of their songs and you can recognize the song from the lyrics written in bold in each chapter and the name of the chapter represents the song in the chapter. If you want to, you can listen to the song while reading, but the lyrics are more important from the story's view. Also, English isn't my first language so I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes. If you like the story (it'll get better from this first chapter I promise) please leave a review, a favorite - anything is very appreciated. I obviously don't own the characters or the lyrics/music. Thank you for reading in advance!

Oh you know how it is
Wake up feeling blue
And everything that could be wrong is
Including you
Black clouds and rain and pain in your head
And all you want to do is stay in bed

Piper Elizabeth Chapman was about to start her junior year at a new high school, expecting nothing and feeling rather miserable. She had learned to live without having any expectations and would rather cope with being filled with doubts and insecurities when it came to new situations like this. She was used to things not going her way. It had annoyed the young 10-year-old Piper massively but the growing pains that followed that age really taught her a thing or two about trying to find her place in this world. And it turned out that she still hadn't found it, no matter how much she had tried through the years.

Normally before starting the new school year she would go to the hairdresser to get her blonde hair to shine so that everyone would be jealous, she would buy her school books weeks before the actual studying even began because her parents demanded her to get good grades and she would think about her outfit for the first school day the night before. That was definitely not the case this time. She didn't have money for the hairdresser, let alone for the school books. Her blonde hair was definitely not shiny at all and it didn't look as good as it had done before. It reached her chest but the ends of her locks were really frizzy and dry. Her dark roots had overgrown and she had tried to dye them back to blonde with some supermarket bleach but it clearly had not worked because her roots were still harsh brown. She just wanted them to grow a little more quickly so the look would be considered fashionable on some level instead of plain neglect. Not that she cared that much about her hair anyways right now, she had bigger things to worry about. Not having the school books would draw much more attention than her hair, especially after must having the books on even the first day had been highlighted in every handout and newsletter they got from the school during the summer. It was already 11pm but Piper hadn't had even the tiniest bit of motivation to get up from her bed to pick an outfit ready for tomorrow. She couldn't care a less about what she looked like. She felt like she had no need to make a good first impression on anyone. In fact it felt kinda free to not care, but deep down she was really afraid that the ghosts from her past would come back and play a big part in her upcoming high school journey. She had been bullied for years, some days less so that it wouldn't bother her too much and she could leave it behind right away but some days it was too much for her and she couldn't get it out of her even by crying for several hours after school in her room to ease her pain. The pain from her past haunted her vividly even up to this day and she couldn't calm down in her bed when trying to sleep. Her reckless thoughts were running around in her mind and when she finally fell asleep, she saw nightmares about the upcoming year. She didn't feel safe, even in the comfort of her own bed, because of these nightmares. She saw herself all alone, being laughed at, not having a single friend and trying to cope with everything all alone even though it hurt like hell. Unfortunately she was used to it. If she had to name one thing, that was the thing she was the most scared of. She was afraid but somehow in the back of her mind she had a tiny bit of hope for this year. Maybe she could make a friend and have someone to hold on to. This was a new beginning after all.

After the night of waking up every once a while because of her horrible nightmares and feeling like she couldn't possibly face the new school because of her fears, she somehow managed to get herself up from the bed, changed her clothes, brushed her teeth, packed her bag and made her way to school. Maybe the reason why she managed to get going was the last strain of hope she was holding on to.

So you know how it is
Wake up feeling grey
Nothing much to think and nothing much to say

When she stepped in the classroom she felt that remaining hope escape her body as quickly as it came in the first place and to be honest she wasn't even surprised. She found herself comparing herself to every one of the girls that she could see within her reach. They were super beautiful in her opinion. Everything that she wanted to be. They had their hair on point for the first day and quickly enough Piper found her hand making her way to the top of her head, trying to make her hair look somehow better. The girls had their faces full of makeup and their clothes were exactly what Piper would've liked to wear if she had the money for brand clothes. She looked down at herself and felt uglier than in ages when she saw her old Adidas Superstar shoes that were not white anymore, but stained, and the soft yellow toned floral romper that she had on was her aunt's old one and had probably been out of fashion for years already. Piper didn't care about fashion but she knew these girls did. Wearing something that they thought was out would get you in trouble without even saying anything. They didn't care about you, they cared about your image. Piper noticed how everyone slowly found their way to the classroom and sat down with their friends so she woke up from her thoughts and walked to one of the desks that was still free and sat down. Luckily it was a desk for only one person so she didn't have to share it with anyone. She could hear a low hum inside her ears, probably caused by the anxiety she was feeling towards everything happening around her. People coming to the classroom were talking loud and laughing with their friends, leaving Piper to be the only one alone in the middle of the class. They surrounded her and the teacher yelled at them to be quiet. Some of the bold ones screamed something rude to the teacher but Piper didn't even realize what they said because she was too busy trying to keep herself from running out of the door in tears. She kept doing the same thing when the teacher said that they were going to do an introduction round. Who thought that would be a good idea? Straight from the kindergarten, Piper thought and listened to the popular girls introducing themselves. Stella, Daya, Maria and Madison. Those were the names of the most beautiful but yet the most arrogant seeming ones. In a while it was about to be Piper's turn and she could feel her heart beating in her throat and she could hear it in her ears. She was trying to think about how she should say her name so that it wouldn't sound stupid. Who would name their child Piper anyways? It was like asking for your child to be bullied. At least that's what Piper thought. She hated her name.

"And who is this jaded dandelion?" one of the mean girls shouted from Piper's left side. She could feel the anxiety slowly but surely creeping up her spine and that comment made it even harder for her to open her mouth to get some clear words out.

"Madison Murphy, I heard you very well", their teacher Mr. Healy said with a surprisingly bold tone in his deep voice. His voice made him sound like a tough guy but he definitely wasn't one. Somehow it still made Piper's confidence grow back for a second and during that short period of time she managed to introduce herself. She flashed a shy smile to her teacher

"I'm Piper Chapman", Piper mumbled out and looked around her, trying her best to meet up with as many pairs of eyes as she could, but when it started to feel like it was too much for her, she awkwardly turned back to Mr. Healy's direction and waited for something to happen. She thought the teacher would like to hear the next student's name, but no. Piper should've guessed that the comment from Mr. Healy would only light up a fire inside of a student like Madison and she thought it was rightful for her to speak again.

"What kind of a surname is that? And your first name is even worse!" Madison laughed out loud, dragging Stella, Maria and Daya to it with her too. They all laughed and some of the boys started to laugh too because they obviously wanted to make an impression on the girls. "What do you answer to that, huh?" Piper could feel the anxiety and the fury inside of her grow to enormous amounts but the anxiety won and she didn't have the strength to come up with something clever to say to this Madison girl, so she stayed quiet, tried her best not to cry and show how weak she was. She looked at Mr. Healy, asking for help with her eyes but he didn't have the balls to say anything. Piper guessed so. When Piper was about to take her bag and run away, someone in the last row stood up so that their chair almost fell and it let out a sound so loud that it made Piper turn around before leaving. She looked at the person and was surprised when she saw the angry look on her face. The person who stood up was tall, she looked like she was ready to conquer the world. She was incredibly beautiful in her black hair and glasses that made her eyes really stand out. She was dressed in a white t-shirt, tight black jeans and a leather jacket. She was intimidating in Piper's opinion but there was something different in her. Piper thought she was as beautiful as the popular girls to say the least, but something in her didn't make Piper anxious and she didn't see her as a threat. Piper was amazed, staring at her questionably. Something in this unknown girl made her feel like running away wouldn't be the answer in this situation. So Piper decided not to run away.

"That's enough, big mouth. What makes you think you can talk to another human being like that? Don't you have any empathy inside of you?" The girl who was standing up spoke and looked at Madison. She was ready to pick up a fight and it made Piper wonder why she was doing this. Piper looked at her and Madison after one another and heard how the girl raised her voice. "You're a heartless bitch. You should think about how you act, it's not acceptable at all. And please think before you open your disrespectful mouth the next time."

Don't want to talk, don't want to try
Don't want to think, don't want to know
Who, what, where, when or why

"Hey, Piper, wait!" Piper heard a low toned shout behind her when she was walking away on the school corridor, her hands holding onto her bag tightly, hoping it would make her nervousness disappear. She didn't recognize the voice so she had to think about turning around for a while. Eventually she turned around and was pleasantly surprised when she saw the raven haired beauty from her class reaching her. Piper was totally took by a surprise when she realized she remembered her name. Her stupid, ugly name.

"Wh… who are you?" Piper could mumble out while looking at the girl that was now standing straight in front of her, looking back at her with her chartreuse green eyes. They were beautiful and the sun that was reaching her pale face made them glisten.

"My name's Alex", she answered and smiled at Piper. "I'm sorry for what I did in the class, I wasn't sure if it was something you'd appreciate but I couldn't stand it so I had to open my mouth."

"Nice to meet you Alex", Piper smiled back at her, "no it's totally okay, thank you so much for doing it. I would never have the nerve to stand up for myself like that so it was actually really nice. I really appreciate it."

"I thought so", Alex said with a smirk on her face. It made Piper think about the fact that Alex could be just playing with her too. What if she did this only to get a chance to make more fun of her in the future? To get closer to her and then use all the information about her to turn it against her. Piper felt more uncomfortable than she even realized and the thought of running away started to sound like a good plan again. She was sure she wouldn't be able to take this if every day was even slightly similar to this morning only.

"I have to go", Piper said quietly and turned around in a rush but all of a sudden she felt a grab on her shoulder. Alex turned her back to her direction.

"Do you think you're gonna get away that easily?" Alex asked jokingly and laughed. It brought painful memories to Piper's head and she pushed Alex's hand down from her shoulder with a scared look on her porcelain face. She took a step back. She thought Alex was going to bully her just like everyone else before. Those words Alex just said were more than familiar to her.

"Please stop, I can't take this." Alex realized what she had done and was surprised of Piper's reaction. She can't possibly be this broken, Alex thought. But she was and Alex felt the biggest need inside of her chest to fix Piper.

"I'm so sorry! I just meant to ask you if you would like to hang out with me someday?"

You don't want to sing, you don't want to play
You don't want to swing, you don't want to sway
All you want to do is nothing
On a day like today

Piper was lying on her bed in the comfort of her thick duvets, trying to sleep but once again her thoughts were keeping her wide awake. She couldn't stop thinking about the incidence with Alex. She couldn't stop thinking about how stupid and weak she must've looked when she thought Alex was going to hurt her but that was the way she reacted to simple things nowadays. She couldn't stop thinking about the tone Alex had in her voice when she asked her to hang out because somehow it gave Piper a feeling that she could be trusted, but at the end of the day she wasn't completely sure. She couldn't stop thinking about how damaged she really was and how she didn't have any idea how to fix herself or even begin to fix herself. She just knew that she needed to do something about it before everyone at school saw it. Something about this Alex girl really intrigued her. Maybe this is a good thing, she thought to herself before she finally fell asleep.

If you do that you'll be missing the world
Because it doesn't stop turning whatever you heard
If you do that you'll be missing the world
You have to get up, get out and get gone
You have to get up, get out and get living