He had always had his suspicions. He had always seen things that made him wonder. Both on and off camera.
He noticed the 'innocent' touches, the smiles, the silently spoken words. Things that can't be written in the script but do make the scene look better.
He had given them the benefit of the doubt. They were both terrific actors. Maybe that's all it was. Both of them had spent many years in the business and maybe they had just picked it up.
None the less, Josh noticed. For the most part, he would keep the suspicions to himself. But he couldn't deny what he had slipped into 'The Rainy Day Women' commentary.
He remembered saying it.
"They have such a natural chemistry between them. They really do feel like a married couple."
As soon as it left his mouth, he regretted saying it and felt incredibly awkward. But, in no time, Stephanie seemed to agree with him. He had cast a look at her which she didn't seem to notice.
Josh couldn't believe he had said that. He had successfully gone the entire first season without voicing any opinion on the topic. But now, he had slipped. Obviously, he couldn't go back and not say it.
Much to his surprise, no one said anything about it. He figured that neither Kelly nor Peter had heard it. Of course, Josh didn't expect them to buy the DVD's of the show and listen to the commentaries. However, he couldn't deny that he was a little afraid of what their reaction might be.
However, it never came up and Josh made sure he never slipped up again. But it was always in the back of his mind. As he walked around set, he would notice them together.
How Peter would hold onto her. When they hugged (scripted or not), Peter seemed to hold her possessively to him, protectively in a way.
How they kissed each other. The entire set would heat up.
The looks they would share whether they be across the room or right next to each other.
The occasions they would finish each other's sentences. Or pass each other something when the other hadn't even asked for it. They had a short hand that others had only seen through years of knowing another person.
How they brought out the best in each other.
He noticed the way Peter's entire person changed when Kelly laughed. His face would light up, a huge smile would erupt, and his eyes would burst with excitement. Sometimes he would look around to make sure that it was he that was making her laugh. It seemed to give him an extra sense of pride that he, him, Peter Gallagher, was the one to make Kelly Rowan laugh. (And boy, was it a pretty laugh! Josh couldn't deny it either. Kelly had a great laugh.)
On that note, Josh had also noticed how much Kelly seemed to enjoy Peter's jokes. Any time they were in the same room together it seemed Kelly always had a smile on her face. All he had to do was walk into the room and her face would light up with a grin.
Yes, Josh always had his suspicions. But his suspicions weren't confirmed until April 6, 2007.
The show had been renewed for a fifth season and filming for the end of the fourth season was just wrapping up. That's when Josh got the news.
At first, he couldn't believe it.
Denial is a very effective coping mechanism. He could hear her reciting the line he had written all those years ago.
When Stephanie Savage told him, he just stared at his hands, thinking of all the reasons she would tell him this lie. Late April fool's joke perhaps.
He hadn't said a word in an hour and Stephanie was patiently waiting, seated in a chair in front of his desk. It took him that entire wordless hour to come to grips with reality.
It was true. No way around it.
Now he had to tell his cast.
This would be the day that his suspicions were confirmed. He would see the truth behind all the glances, touches, and gestures. Nothing physical may have happened. But something sure had.
When Josh told the room of actors the news. When he told Peter that Kelly had died. When he watched Peter's face falter and saw the older man weep and heard his pleas for it all to be a lie, that's when he knew that they had truly loved one another. That's when he knew his suspicions were true.