Title: Silent Scream

Word count: 4137

Warning: Unstable Ichigo. Character Death.

Pairing: Shirosaki x Ichigo.

Side Pairing:None

Summary: "Hey, Shiro?" He called. "What do you think about this one?" He would continue talking with Shiro, even if his hollow couldn't hear him, he would continue no matter what. He held his sketch up towards the mirror, smiling, searching after yellow iris and black sclera. "I like this one better, much more than your former mask"

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach

A young male sat in front of a mirror. His orange hair was pastel pale as a sign of not having been outside too much, which could also be seen by the paleness of his skin tone. His oak brown eyes stared down blankly, but somehow alert. Dark bags underneath his eyes told the story about his countless sleepless nights.

He was there, but far away.

He drew and drew, not stopping the pencils movement across the paper. His eyes continued to gaze into the mirror, which was in front of him, connected with his closets door. It was as if the reflective glass opened a gate to another world, showing him what his own world could have looked like, filled with excitement with compared to the world he lived in. He sat silently in front of it, an worn A4 sketchbook sitting comfortably in his lap while his favorite mechanical pencil scribbled lines unto the former white page.

His room, which had once been filled with toys, only carried sketchbooks in different sizes, scattered across the room on top of his table, floor and even his chair. Pencils in different colors and variety littered his table, some used till the last, some only having been sharpened once. The male glanced up, a confident stroke leaving his hand before taking a quick look at the paper before gazing up. Every sketchbook was filled to the brim with drawings, along with lose papers. Most only contained drawing of one being, one man. A male so similar to the young orange haired male, you would think he drew himself, but with a wicked grin along with black sclera and yellow iris. The other creatures were humans with different kind of bone masks on their person, humans dressed in mourning kimonos and large creatures with holes through their chest, a full bone mask and suit.

The male glanced at his almost finished sketch, finishing the rough drawing with one last line before he stared into the mirror, hint of a smile on his lips. "Hey, Shiro?" He called softly into the air. No reply was heard, but the male smiled more. "What do you think of this one?" He asked as he help the sketchbook up, turned towards his own reflection. The drawing showed a figured, almost identical with the artist. But whereas he was small and all bone and skin, the male on the paper was trained and slender. Again, no reply was heard, but the male seemed to be satisfied with the reply. "I think so too, the hair is too short" Thin shoulders shrugged before he turned to another page, staring at it. "What should I draw now?" He nodded, but frowned slightly. "Sure, but I kinda wanted to draw you…." He muttered before he began.

He sketched the usual guidelines. A circle for the head, chin added, a strong neck spreading out to form the shoulders. The figures seemed to stand tall, arrogant with widely spread legs, a sword held up and rested on his shoulders, the other hand comfortable fitting in his pockets. Brown eyes glanced up; staring at something only he could see before he turned back to his drawing. A few lines and then the hair was formed, falling lightly across scrunched brows. Cocky grin, a bone mask attached to the side of his head in the form of jaws, jagged line forming teeth. He quickly finished the sketch, lightly shading it before holding it up, showing it to the mirror again.

"I told you to call me Ichigo, not Aibou or Ou" Ichigo scowled he placed the sketchbook on his lap again, closing it softly. Ichigo grinned as he stared into the mirror. "Hey Shiro, tell me about how you became a part of Espada"

"Nii-chan! Dinner is ready" A girl shouted from outside his door, but Ichigo didn't notice, too focused on the silent voice only he could hear. He smiled as he leaned against the mirror, gazing down at the tree covered floor.

"What are you exactly, Shiro?" he asked curiously, placing his hand against the cold surface. He grinned as his question got a response, a pale hand pressing against his own. "Why aren't you like the Adjuchas? Aren't they the same?"

Golden yellow eyes, surrounded by black sclera, looked into his own boring brown eyes, a large grin appearing on his face, revealing perfect rows of perfect white teeth. It was clear that the being was having fun, the mirth dancing coldly in his eyes. The being spoke, white lips forming words which could only be heard by the orange haired male.

"I wish you were real, here, beside me" Ichigo muttered as he leaned against the mirror more, placing his forehead against it and forming mist on the cold surface.

A young girl with light brown haired walked down the stairs, her gaze lingering on the door she just had walked away from before she turned to her fraternal twin sister, worry stuck to her expression.

"Why does nii-chan not response anymore, Karin-chan?" She asked, her tone light as tears slowly began to form in her eyes. "Does he not like us anymore? Does he not like the dinner?" She continued to ask, her tears trailed down her cheek, followed by more. She began placing the dinner in the plates, hunching in on herself

"There's nothing wrong Yuzu, you make delicious food as always" Karis took one of the plates, smilling to her sister, but knew Yuzu would know what she truly thought. "Let me take his Yuzu, maybe he is just tired again" They both knew that it was a lie. Ichigo had begun distancing himself from them. She half hugged her sister, rubbing her back as Yuzu softly cried against her shoulder, feeling tears well in her own eyes. "We'll work this out, he can't keep himself locked away like that, and then we will ignore him"

Yuzu laughed softly, a weak smile lifting her lips before she pulled back. Gratitude for her sister was clear as daylight in her eyes before she finished preparing everything.

Karin turned back to the stairs and looked toward her older brother's room. Lately, he had been… weird, or more than before. He had at least mingled amongst them, maybe not talking as much as he had used to, his gaze always lingering on every reflective surface, searching after something. He had at least replied when they asked him something, even if it took him a while. But now he never left his room, only when he was in need of new sketchbooks, and even then he bought a whole bunch. Karin had seen the drawings he drew, himself but with demon eyes and a crazy smile.

She remembered when Ichigo used to tell them about his best friend, Shiro, who lived in the mirror.

It didn't take long for her to reach the door, which lead into her brother's room. She stood before it, willing herself not to show weakness before she knocked lightly, hopping above anything that he would react to it.

No response.

The dark haired girl bit her lower lip softly, starring down into the kitchen and took a look at the form of her sister. She gulped before narrowing her eyes, about to open the door when she heard Ichigo say something. Karin stopped, her hand hovering above the doorknob before she leaned against it, pressing her ear against the door.

"Who are you talking about?" said Ichigo, his voice slightly muffled. Karin pressed her ear harder against the door, hoping to catch the answer, but hearing nothing before Ichigo continued talking. "Yuzu? Karin? Who are they? Some new Números you found? Or are they someone from your fracción?"

Karin pulled away from the door and stared at it, wondered about what she had just heard her brother say. He didn't know who they were anymore? So he didn't care after all? The betrayal and hurt burned, far more than she had thought possible. She gripped the doorknob, pushed it open and stared at her brother, what used to be her brother, but was nothing more than empty shell now. She wanted to hurt him, shake him and make him see them, react and just being there for them.

"Ichi-nii?" She called. He didn't move from his spot in front of the mirror, but just turned to another page in one of his numerous books, his pencil ready and already moving over the page. She couldn't stop herself from scowling. It was time to stop this, before it got too far. Time to end Yuzu's crying and her father's mournful aura. She placed the cooling plate on the floor beside her before she walked toward her brother. The only sounds in the room were Ichigo's scribbling and her silent footsteps.

She was tired of that

Were they not good enough for him, making him turn to some faceless mirror?

"Ichi-nii!" She shouted, but only got a twitch from her older brother before he continued to draw. Her fist clenched as she stared at Ichi-nii, once again wondering where they had gone wrong. Did it have something to do with their mother? But Ichi-nii had sat before the mirror even before that. Karin felt her chest tighten. She wanted to hit her brother, beat him until he woke up from whatever spell he had falled into, and make him look at her. Truly look at her than just the general direction. But she knew a way to make him see her, notice her presence.

Karing felt the cold surface of the mirror break underneath her fist, small shards falling around her and getting stuck to her hand. But it didn't matter as she gripped her hand, wincing at the pain

"Wha…" Ichigo muttered, staring flabbergast at what used to be his mirror but were nothing more than an empty frame now. Karin rubbed her hand, trying to remove the mirrors shards softly. "What…. Shiro…"

A hand suddenly gripped her injured fist, clenching it with a surprising strength. Karin stared up into Ichigo's brown eyes, feeling fear roll in the pit of her stomach.

"What have you done?!" He shouted as he finally stood up, his sketchbook forgotten as it felt to the floor. He was glaring at her, his expression livid and filled with so much and hate, making Karin wish she had never entered his room. A flash of Yuzu's crying face made her stand where she stood, straighten her back and ignore the stabbing pain in her fist. She was scared, yes, more than she had been in a long time. Ichigo was towering over her, eyes wide with bags underneath them, his hair messy and long. She knew she should have been happy, she finally had her brother's attention as she had wanted for so long. But the man standing in front of her ws not her brother, but a strange she never knew.

"Do you know what you have done?!" Ichigo continued shouting, grabbing her shoulders and shook her violently, his breath smelling like something had died and rotted in there. "You hit Shiro! Tried to hurt him! Say sorry to him!"

"Ichi-nii! She whimpered, her fist beginning to beat in rhythm with her heartbeat, "It hurts…" She tried to push him away, but it was as if he had sudden gained some strength, not budging as she tried to make him move away with her good hand. "Stop it!" She finally shouted, feeling tears spill from her eyes and race across her cheeks.

Ichigo stared at her for a while, his eyes taking her face in as he saw someone he never had meet before, but somehow remembered. His hands shook before he let go of her, his gaze still lingering on her face before his shook his head, stumbling backwards and sat down at his bed. He leaned forward and placed his head in his hands, staring at the glass shards that covered the floor.

Karin breathed deeply as she stared at him, slowly scrambling backwards, she could feel that she had to the room, her eyes having stayed on the hunched form of her brother. She accidentally flipped the plate over, spilling its contents onto the floor. She didn't care, she just needed to run away from Ichi-nii and tent to her wounded hand

She needed to get out, and she couldn't go fast enough.

"Karin-chan" Yuzu shouted in surprised when her twin sister ran down the stairs, "What happened?" She hurried to her sister and grabbed her hand, staring at the remains of what seemed to be a mirror. "Did you accidentally break the plate? What that what I heard? Ne, Karin-chan!" The sandy blond girl whined as she pulled her sister to the table, pushing the plates away before finding the first aid. She pulled the necessary bandage and disinfection.

"Ahaha…" Karin laughed nervously, winching as Yuzu began pulling the shards out, "nothing happened, so don't worry Yuzu" She clenched her other hand in her lap, trying to stop herself from shaking. "Ichi-nii just surprised me, so I accidentally dropped the plate, nothing else."

Yuzu stopped for a second to gaze into her eyes, making Karin glance away and close her eyes. She didn't like lying to Yuzu, but she didn't want to break her twin sister's view on their brother either. Yuzu obviously didn't believe her, why should she? Karin had said she dropped the plate, but had glass shards stuck to her hand instead of porcelain. But she didn't push the question. Karin would tell her if it was important or not.

The days slowly continued and Ichigo seemed to have woken up, slowly coming out more and tried to interact with Yuzu and Karin. His father too, but he still didn't feel comfortable with that. His eyes were still blank whenever he looked at them, as if they weren't there, but they didn't complaint. But one thing they all noticed was how his gaze always lingered on every reflective surface, as if he was searching for something before he gave up and continued on, acting as if nothing had happened.

Yuzu began smiling more, her eyes almost sparkling and seemed to return to being the old Yuzu. But she always stuck to Ichigo, wanting to be with him all the time.

But Karin wasn't like that. She had begun to find excuses to leave the room whenever Ichigo entered, sometimes going out of the door, shouting something about soccer practice, or how she suddenly remembered some homework she had to finish. Yuzu always asked her when they went to bed, was someone or something hurting her? why she was avoiding their big brother, now when he finally left his room and talked with them?

"Nii-chan?" Yuzu pulled slightly at the orange haired male's shirt, trying to gain his attention. They were sitting in the living room and had been watching a show about Don Kanonji and how he had saved a lost soul. It had gone well until he had suddenly looked down and stopped moving. Ichigo knew that wasn't true. It had probably been some shinigami. Yuzu stared at the table too but only saw herself. She pulled again on his shirt "Nii-chan!" She finally shouted, tears appearing in her eyes as she felt fear creep up again from her heart. Was she going to lose her big brother again? Was he going to abandon them again to stare at himself?

"What is it,Yuzu? He asked softly as he turned towards her, life slowly returning to his voice. But Yuzu couldn't stop herself from staring into his once lifefilled eyes. They were like a black vortex now, void of anything and sucking every feeling without leaving anything behind. She relaxed slightly as he held her petite hands in his own hands, the eyes returning to a light amber color. "What's the matter, Yuzu? Did you see an hollow?" He asked honestly, his eyes slightly narrowing as he stared out the window, his shoulders tensing.

"Hollow?" She stared at her brother. "What's that?" The word seemed familiar to her, as if she had heard it many times before, but she couldn't remember when and where she had heard it. Hollow meant empty in English, right? But how that had anything to do with now was a puzzle to her.

Ichigo pulled back from her as if he had been shocked, his eyes widening. He leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes, breathing harshly. His eyebrows began to crunch while biting on his lower lip. "It's nothing, Yuzu" He bit out, his hands began shaking. "It's nothing at all." He shook his head, his hand shook harder than before. "It's nothing, it's nothing" he continued to mutter, as if trying to convince himself that it was the truth. As if realizing she still was there he opened his eyes and looked at her. She looked stressed and weary.

"She didn't dare to say anything as she looked away, a lump forming in her throat. Maybe she should try and talk with someone about all this? But what should she say? She didn't know so much about him after he began staying in his room, barely coming out for dinner or when they were going anywhere. He had even stopped going to school and interacting with other human beings.

He hadn't always had Shiro. He had just felt an unbelievable want to learn how to draw. He had always been a self-taught artist, and so he didn't want to ask other people for help, when he clearly could learn it himself. He was proud of how much he had learned. But he had entered what most people called an art-block, and he hadn't known what to draw without it looking like crap. One day he had just glanced at his mirror before the idea of being his own model had appeared.

He had sat down in front of it and begun drawing.

Drawing after drawing, some only filled with eyes, some with mouths, noses, ears, fingers. He deleted almost every line as soon as it had been made on the paper. His distaste grew with ever crumbled paper he threw over his shoulder. It all looked wrong! Either his eyes were too big, or his nose to small. Or the shading were to flat, hair too rigged.

Everything was wrong!

But Ichigo hadn't wanted to give up. The thought had angered him even more than the pitiful excuse of drawings he had made. As he slowly had gotten better the anger had faded until he one day met Shiro. It hadn't been suddenly, but more like slowly noticing over time that it hadn't been himself he had been staring at, but a paler, much better looking, version of himself.

Shiro had been hate filled, claiming his need to kill the one who he deemed king and not going to stay as the 'horse' forever. Ichigo hadn't immediately understood what he had been talking about in the beginning, but came to the conclusion that the orange haired male was the 'king'. He had been horribly scared of the white being in the mirror. He had told his mother about the horse man in the mirror, but she had only smiled while petting his hair, telling him that the boogey man did not exist.

Had the white haired boy been the boogeyman?

After that he had been too scared to sleep at night or stare into his mirror, even going as far as covering it with a spare blanket he had had. He wished to hide from Whitey, wished to shut his voice out so he could finally get just one night sleep. But he couldn't and so he stayed awake several nights, every night worse than the one before.

Whitey would talk about all the things he could do to his sisters, to his father and mother. How he could bath in their blood, pull their inner intestines out and hang it around. He would laugh loudly everytime he tried to fall asleep, his voice filled to the brim with malice and shocking him enough so he couldn't sleep again.

Ichigo's parents had at last noticed how tired he had been whenever he walked around, his eyes dropping and almost falling asleep where he stood, only to pull himself up and stare at the nearest reflective surface, a grimace on his face before he had continued. They had taken him with them to the doctor.

His doctor had looked like a nice man with soft fluffy hair and glasses. But Ichigo never opened his mouth and talked.

Masaki and Isshin, his parents, had asked the orange haired boy why he was so silent Around Aizen-sensei. He couldn't lie to his parents, no matter how much he wanted, and told them. Aizen-sensei somehow reminded him of Whitey. The brown-haired man had been smiling all the time, but his eyes had been calculating – different from Shiro, but somehow with the same air, the same aura, as if he knew something about Ichigo he didn't know.

They had been diskusing about it when they had believed he was sleeping? How could he have falled asleep with Whitey in his room? Mentally torturing him like no tomorrow? He had shouted out his name, called himself Shiro when Ichigo accidentally called the white haired boy for whitey. Shiro always threatened him with murder if he should fall asleep, and he hadn't wanted to test the other boy's words. Ichigo's parents believed that he was just misjudging Aizen-sensei. He was, after all, just a child who hadn't been able to sleep, and for that reason he had imagined Shiro.

Masaki and Isshin had later consulted Aizen-sensei, telling the brown haired doctor what their son had told them. Ichigo had ignored it all as he had concentrated on staring at his shoes, feeling like he was watched by Shiro, almost feeling his drilling gaze on his person. He glanced up and caught a glimpse of white. Was Shiro watching him? Scaring him so he wouldn't tell the doctor about his existence? The adults finally stopped talking and Ichigo immediately held his mother's hand as they said their goodbyes. Ichigo caught the man's last word before they were out of the door.

"Maybe little Ichigo should see, that there is no monster in his mirror"

They had arrived home, late at night. His father and mother had led him into his room, his father's big hand on his shoulder, offering comfort. "Let's remove the blanket " He said as he softly pushed him toward his mirror. "We're right here." He had believed their word and removed the blanket with shaking hands, only to be greeted by Shiro's gored gaze. The white haired boy had immediately grinned. He was real, he was there. He had immediately turned to his parents, but the words died on his tongue as Shiro threatened him yet again. He had to lie to his parents, tell them that 'Whitey' no longer lived in his mirror, that it had all been a part of his imagination.

He had follow the orders and watched his parents walk out with dread in his stomach. But he had willed himself to be strong and sat down in front of the mirror, firing question after question. He had been surprised when Shiro had laughed, no hint of bloodlust in his voice. After that Ichigo had opened up to his white look-a-like, and Shiro had done the same with him. Shiro told him all about what it felt like, being an adjuchas, what his world looked like and how he had found Ichigo.

He had then begun drawing Shiro, drawing small scenes of the bared wastleland that surrounded the reptile-looking boy. He loved it, hearing all the tales and even saw some of the other Hollows, their forms ranging from really tall – they were called Menos Grande – to animal looking like skeletans – Adjuchas. And then there was Shiro's goal – Vasto Lordo. Shiro told him about their strengths, how they had hands like Ichigo and were beings that looked like a mix of Ichigo and Shiro.

After a while Ichigo began telling his younger sisters, Yuzu and Karin, stories about Shiro's tales. How he had once almost gotten eaten by another adjuchas but had tricked him, turning the tables on the bug-like hollow and eaten him instead. He also told them about the three worlds. Soul society had been the first world he told them about. This was where the shinigamies lived. The human world "our world" he had told them. And then finally told them about Hueco Mundo, which was where Shiro lived.

They loved his tales, and he loved telling about the world only he had seen with the help from Shiro. He told them about the few times shinigamies had crossed paths with his white-look-alike. What Shiro looked like and how he had gotten hold of his own group of servants, calling them all for fracción.

To them, Shiro was only a friend, a guy with a good imagination. Later one they placed him as a fantasy friend, seeing as Ichigo always stared at his mirror when he was 'talking' with the white hollow. But to Ichigo he was far more than just a friend. He was Ichigo's only friend. As time passed he wanted to stay with Shiro more and more than just a few hours a day. With time it lead to Ichigo barely leaving his room and with an almost non-existent appetite.

Masaki and Isshin had tried to pull him away from his mirror after that. They told him to play with the other kids, to have a normal boy's life. But Ichigo didn't want that, he wanted to live a life with Shiro.

A/N

I had written this story a long time ago, and then happened to forget about it. I got this idea when I had had an artblock and then one day thought I should just try and draw myself. I always used about one hour, or more, trying to draw my sister. That was how I got the beginning idea for this story

I will try and update more now, than before. Or at least finish my stories before I go into a hiatus again :D I would be really happy to know what you guys thought about this story :)

~Fochi-chan