It was dark, sub humanly dark, not quite nightmare dark, but storm drain dark. It was also cold, not, frostbite cold, but storm drain cold. Dean was not in a storm drain, but he was in a campervan with less space than a storm drain. He was in a campervan with a moose, and 6ft ex-angel, still getting used to sleep.
He was almost asleep, despite the cold, when the ex-angel rolled and tugged at the blanket.
"Cas if you move again, I swear to god I will kick your ass." Dean hissed.
"I am sorry Dean, I just can't get comfortable." Castiel hissed back a little louder.
"Don't talk so loud, you'll wake Sam, and you know what happened the last time." Dean hissed back. A grunt issued from the other side of the caravan. Dean sighed heavily and yanked the blankets back.
"Dean, I'm cold." Castiel replied. Dean closed his eyes and wondered how he ended up in this situation.
That morning...
"I'm sorry boys this is the only one we have available. You should have got here earlier." A heavy set woman said cracking her knuckles. Sam gave Dean his puppy dog look. They were standing in a campground beside a dingy old caravan. There were people staring at the two massive men who could almost see over the rusted yellow box. The thing was barely bigger than the Impala. The woman took their cash and slipped into pocket. She looked as though she was trying to not laugh.
"It's either this or the Car Dean." Sam said. Dean sighed and rolled his eyes.
"I'm sure the two of you will fit snugly in there." She said her mouth quirking.
"Three." Dean said. "There are three of us."
The woman cracked up laughing. "Please tell me he's bigger than you, 'cause honey that will just about make my year."
It was at that moment Castiel ran up, having just used the porta-loos at the entrance. "Dean! They have a salt water taffy stall by the road!" The woman looked at Castiel and his wide blue eyes practically sparkling with joy.
"Oh Honey." She said to Dean, her mirth still apparent in her voice.
"Fine we'll take it." Dean said sighed. "I'm not even sure you can even fit in there." He added to Sam.
Dean handed over the cash and the woman stuffed it into her pocket and she handed him the keys.
"Pleasant dreams boys." She said before walking away.
Castiel looked at the brothers.
"Is this where we're sleeping?" He asked.
Dean unlocked the door. "Yeah." Dean said and he opened the door with a rusty squeak. Dean looked inside. The first thing he noticed was the retro seventies wallpaper, the dingy sink and gas stove. He looked over and saw a bed on either side. Sam pushed his way in with his bag and threw it on the bed farthest from the door.
"Mine!" He shouted and leaped onto the bed with a slat cracking crunch. Dean rolled his eyes, and then Castiel stepped inside, revealing there was less space than originally anticipated.
"This is lovely." Castiel said squeezing passed Dean and putting his bag on the remaining bed and sitting down. Dean closed his eyes.
"Let's go get some of that taffy," Dean replied.
What ensued was a dinner of burritos that Dean was suddenly regretting, and dessert of salt water taffy. Now he was lying in the only slightly larger bed, with an ex-angel twitching beside him. And tacky glow in the dark stars on the ceiling.
Dean, closed his eyes, sleep was calling him. He was so close to drifting off.
"Dean." Castiel whispered. Dean opened his eyes. "Dean, I'm really cold." He wanted to be angry, but he was starting to feel the chill as well.
"Okay Cas." Dean said. He closed his eyes and shifted closer to the ex-angel.
"What are you doing?" Castiel asked.
"Warming us up." Dean replied as he rolled Castiel over to be the little spoon.
"I don't understand." Castiel replied. Dean wrapped his arms around him and closed his eyes. Castiels eyes closed instinctively and he wriggled a bit to make himself comfortable. Dean paused. "Is this okay Cas?" He whispered. "Is this comfortable for you?" Castiel sighed and closed his eyes. A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth and he leaned back against Deans' chest.
"Yes, I'm much warmer now." He placed his hand over Deans and laced their fingers together. Deans' eyes shot open.
"Jeeze Cas your hands are cold." Dean hissed into the ex-angels ear. Castiel didn't reply, he was fast asleep.
When Dean awoke, he could feel warm breath on his neck, and there was a hand linked with his. He opened his eyes. Castiel was pressed so close to him, all he could see was tufts of black hair poking out from the blanket. He knew he should get up, but it was so warm.
It was then that something terrible happened.
A low ominous sound rumbled from the other side of the Caravan. Deans' eyes went wide.
"Nooo." He whispered.
The smell of rotten eggs and burritos filled the tiny space in a matter of seconds. He pulled the blankets over his head, and tried to seal himself in.
He tried not wake Castiel, but it was too late. He saw the ex-angels nose wrinkle, and his blue eyes flutter open.
"I smell Sulphur." Castiel said. "Are their Demons?" Dean snorted and shook his head.
"Sammy's let one rip." Dean said.
"Is it still cold?" Castiel asked.
"It's warmer if you stay here." Dean replied. "How did you sleep?"
"Better than in the bunker." Castiel sighed.
"Really?" Dean asked incredulously.
"It's warm." Castiel said as his eyes drooped, "Soft." He nestled his head into Deans' neck. Dean was going to protest and argue that he was hardly soft, but chiseled and rock hard, but Castiel looked so cute snuffling his way back to unconsciousness. After a few moments their cocoon of comfort was broken, when Sam ripped off the blankets.
"WAKEY WAKEY." He shouted. Dean groaned and Castiels' eyes shot open.
"Are we under attack?" Castiel blurted.
"Awww look at how cute you are." Sam said.
"It was cold." Castiel said. "We were huddling for warmth."
"I'm so sure." Sam replied. "Now come on, suit up, we got a hunt."
Dean stretched and yawned and pulled himself upright. Cas buried his face into the bed.
"It's cold." Castiel mumbled.
"I know. But once you're up and in your suit it'll be fine." Dean said. Sam chuckled.
"Times a wasting." Sam said before running out the door. Dean sighed heavily.
"Dean." Cas said looking up at him. Dean looked down at the fallen angel. His hair was sticking up at all angles and his eyes were bright and sparkly in the morning light.
"Yeah Cas?" Castiel buried his head in the bed. Dean laughed and ruffled the angels' hair so it stuck up even more. "Come on Cas, we got a job to do."
"I know." Castiel said.
"I'll buy you an ice-cream if you're ready in the next ten minutes." Dean said. "Or More Taffy."
"Okay Dean." Castiel sighed. It took him a little longer before he climbed out of bed and dressed in his suit.
Sam was already waiting in the car when Dean was ready. They had to wait for another 10 minutes for Castiel to get ready.
"You okay Cas?" Dean said when Castiel finally graced them with his presence.
"Yes Dean." Castiel replied distractedly. He stared out the window without another word. Dean furrowed his brow and started the car.
Their destination was the state fair. There had been cattle mutilations and ritual sites found. No human deaths, but the boys had a feeling there would be demonic happenings soon to follow. Possibly even witches.
"Can we stop for breakfast?" Castiel asked. Dean glanced in the rear view mirror.
"Of course." Dean said smiling, the corners of his eyes wrinkled. Castiel smiled weakly back.
They pulled into the roadside diner which was packed with people from the fair. They managed to squeeze into a booth in the back. The waiter came over and poured them coffee.
"Pancakes." Cas said quickly as he opened the menu. Dean smiled fondly.
"Bacon, Eggs and toast." Dean replied.
Sam ordered cereal and the waiter took their orders and walked away.
Castiel stared out the window.
"You alright Cas?" Dean asked. "Yesterday you were a regular chatty Kathy."
"Just pensive." Castiel said. "And a little tired."
"Promise, after we check out the fair, you and have an afternoon nap." Dean said.
Castiel yawned and Dean found it hard not to smile.
The hunt went smoothly, but Castiels' mood did not improve, and Dean began to worry.
Castiel was depressed. They all could tell. The frustrations of being human had taken their toll. It wasn't simply that he wasn't an angel anymore, it was that he was a human fighting to find a place in the human race. He hunted with Dean and Sam as best he could, and he was still very good at hunting. But he was becoming lethargic, bored and tired of the same old routine.
Dean had watched the ex-angels descent with concern. He had tried to brighten things up, and make him happy in small ways, but the attempts seemed feeble compared to the weight that was growing on Castiels' shoulders.
And there he was, leaning on the table in the bunkers library staring at a book on the mating rituals of South East Asian werewolves, without much interest, flicking the page back and forth to listen to the crisp sound of the paper. His blue eyes unfocused and his lips slightly parted. He licked them absently.
"Hey Cas, what's happening?" Dean asked brightly. Castiels' eyes rolled slowly up to Dean and he sighed heavily and turned back to the book. "I hear ya buddy," Dean placed a cup of coffee in front of him and sat down beside him at the table.
"How do you do it Dean?" He asked.
"Do what?" Dean asked before sipping his own cup of coffee.
"How do you..." Castiel paused and waved his hand airily. Dean huffed a laugh.
"Poorly." Dean replied knowingly. "But sometimes we all feel like hanging up our boots and giving up. But the trick is to find something that makes you feel better, Sammy Reads, a lot. Charlie has her games, I have my music and my car. Sometimes it's someone, Jody has Alex, Garth has his werewolf bride. You just need to find your thing. Maybe it's saltwater taffy." He added with a shrug.
Castiel looked at him thoughtfully.
"I just need to do something that makes me happy." Castiel repeated.
"It's not a permanent fix, but it helps you get through the bad days." Dean replied.
"I understand." Castiel said. A small smiled played at the corner of his lips. "Thank you for your help Dean."
"You're wel..." Dean started, but was stopped midsentence when Castiel leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips. Before Dean could reply or respond, Castiel had closed his book and wandered off to another part of the bunker with his coffee.
Dean stared into space for a moment, and wondered what had just happened.
Dean was half concerned half confused when he next saw Castiel, it was dinner and Castiel seemed a little happier. Dean brushed the kiss off as Castiels' misreading of the situation and they ate dinner with Sam and Charlie as they always did. The conversation revolved around the next Moondor event, Dean and Sam were eager to attend the jubilee, and Dean was explaining a better strategy for the next battle.
Castiel even expressed an interest in attending the festivities. Dean grinned at this, he had hoped something would spark the ex-angels interest, and his thoughts wandered to them fighting side by side again, this time with plastic swords, and it might be nice to have an actual Captain of a whole Garrison on their side.
When dinner was done Castiel picked up all the dishes and dropped them in the sink and started to clean up.
Sam and Charlie stayed seated at the table finishing their conversation.
Dean approached Castiel "You need a hand with that?" Dean asked. Castiel smiled sheepishly.
"No thank you Dean, I have it under control."
"If you're sure." Dean said. Castiel nodded and kissed him briefly on the lips again.
"I'm sure." He said brightly. Deans' cheeks turned bright red and he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, before walking, half stumbling out of the dining room. Sam and Charlie followed Dean out, somewhat oblivious to the exchange.
They sat in the library with a movie playing over the projector. They were halfway through Drop Dead Fred when Charlie turned to Dean with a slightly bemused expression.
"Did Cas kiss you earlier?" She asked. Dean blushed furiously and was about to reply when Castiel walked in from kitchen, wiping his hands on his trousers.
"What have I missed?" He whispered.
"Not much," Sam replied. He filled Castiel in on the details briefly, Castiel took a chair behind Dean and leaned across the table and took a handful of popcorn. After about ten minutes,
Castiel leaned forward and whispered into Deans' ear.
"Isn't that Princess Leia?" He asked. Goosbumps errupted down Deans neck and arms as he felt the ex-angels breath on his neck. He then recognized Carrie Fisher.
"Hey it is too." He replied with a grin. Castiel grinned back, and leaned back in his chair again. When the movie was over Sam stretched and made his excuses to go to bed. Castiel took his seat in front of Charlie and across from Dean. He was closer to the popcorn.
Castiel insisted on one more movie before bed. Charlie and Dean obliged, and he insisted on watching a horror film.
"Haven't we seen enough horror?" Dean asked.
"What about Event Horizon, sci fi horror?" Charlie asked. Castiel looked intrigued.
"Isn't that the one about the space ship that goes to hell?" Dean asked.
"Right, bad choice." She laughed nervously. "What about the Exorcist?"
"No." Dean said. "Nothing supernatural please."
"Okay, what about Seven?" Charlie asked.
"Human murderer? That I can handle." Dean said. Castiel grinned and Charlie put the movie on.
About 30 minutes in, Castiel was staring intently at the screen, and Dean found himself watching for the ex-angels reactions. He watched him jump and his eyes go wide in certain scenes. When Dean turned to the film at the less disturbing parts Castiel would watch Dean.
Every time they would do this exchange Charlie would roll her eyes.
When the movie ended, Dean stood up and stretched. Castiel was still staring at the wall where the projector was now showing Charlies laptop desktop which was shutting down.
"You alright Cas?" Dean asked. Castiel nodded. Charlie packed up her laptop and yawned.
"I'm off to bed." She said.
"Night Charlie." Dean said, his eyes still fixed on the ex-angel. "Castiel." He said quietly. Castiel took a sharp intake of breath, before turning his eyes to Dean.
"Humans are so strange." He said softly.
"Yeah, Demons and Angels I get, Humans, not so much." Dean said. Castiel huffed a small laugh.
"Yeah." Castiel replied.
"Come on, bedtime." Dean said. Castiel nodded and stood up. They walked down the hall and Dean opened his bedroom door.
"Hey Dean." Castiel said. Dean turned around.
"Yeah Cas?" Dean replied. Castiel pressed a kiss to his lips again.
"Night." Castiel said before vanishing into his room two doors down. Dean stared into space for a moment. His heart was pounding heavily in his chest.
"Night." Dean said to the empty hall, before he turned back to his room and closed the door behind him.
It was about 3am when he awoke to a light tapping on his door. His eyes shot open and he climbed out of bed. When he opened the door Castiel was standing there, looking pale and holding his pillow.
"What's up?" Dean asked rubbing his eyes. Suddenly Castiel threw his arms around Dean and pulled him into a tight hug. Dean furrowed his brow and patted the him gingerly on the back. "Bad Dream?" He asked. He felt Cas nod. "It was just a dream, and dreams can't hurt you." He felt the ex-angel nod again. He patted him on the back again, and Castiel squeezed tighter. "Jesus Cas, how bad was this dream?"
"It was your head in the box." He whispered.
"No more scary movies before bed." Dean replied. Castiel let go.
"I'm sorry Dean." Castiel said.
"It's okay," Dean said. "Look, you - you want to stay in my room tonight?"
"Are you sure?"
"No, but the offer still stands." Dean said with a smirk.
"I think I'll be fine now." Castiel said smiling. Dean nodded, he was slightly disappointed, but he smiled back.
"That's cool." Dean replied.
Castiel reached up slowly and touched Deans' face. Dean looked puzzled, he expected Cas to kiss him again. Scratch that, he thought, he wanted Cas to kiss him again. But the ex-angel just lowered his hand picked up the pillow and walked back to his room and Dean went back to bed.
What seemed like an hour later, Dean woke to the sound of someone in his room. They closed the door behind them and they sat down on the bed. Dean rolled over and opened one eye. Cas was sitting there. Dean closed his eye again and shuffled over slightly, giving him more space, and a smile tugged at his lips.
Castiel lay down, putting his pillow beside Deans, and resting his head on it. Dean started to drift off again, and soon he fell asleep to the sound of the ex-angels gentle breathing.
Morning came, and Dean stretched himself awake. When he rolled over, he saw that Castiel was no longer in his bed. He frowned, and wondered if he didn't dream the whole thing. It was plausible. Then he saw the extra pillow and he smiled.
When he arrived in the kitchen for Breakfast, Cas and Charlie were already sitting down. Sammy was making pancakes.
Dean sat down beside Cas and pulled a plate towards him and ate hungrily.
"So plans for today?" Dean asked with a mouth full of pancake.
"Nothing in particular." Sam said as he landed another plate of pancakes on the table.
Dean glanced at Castiel, who was chewing happily. "Hey Cas, pass me the syrup?"
The ex-angel turned and handed Dean the bottle. Their eyes met for a second, and Dean smiled.
"Thanks." He said before dousing his pancakes in syrup.
"You're welcome Dean." Castiel said softly.
"You're looking much happier Cas." Sam said. "You were looking really down for the last few weeks." Castiel smiled sheepishly.
"I got some very good advice, and I'm finding my way." Castiel said. Dean stuffed his pancakes in his mouth and with his free hand patted Castiel on the knee. He stopped chewing when he felt the ex-angels hand slip into his and squeeze gently. Dean smiled into his pancakes.
"You just have to find something or someone that makes you happy."