With all that was on Bolt's mind, he couldn't sleep at all.
It was passed 4 AM when he just couldn't try anymore. He stood on his four paws and jumped off the bed. The door was opened a bit, and he nudged his nose through it and entered into the hallway.
He padded over to the living room, where the moon's silver light spilled into the house from outside the windows. The room was dark, and shadowy. The moon's light over the couch served to make it brighter then any other place in the living room.
Bolt leaped onto the old couch, circling a few times before reclining with his paws under his chin. He let out some air through his nostrils and tried to close his eyes.
This didn't serve him well. These thoughts still occupied his mind like people in a stadium. They were parasites viruses, fleas. There was no way around them, no distraction.
He stood up again, shaking his head back and forth. He leaped from the couch and growled lowly, scrapping at the carpet with his claws. His breathing had increased rapidly. The dog placed the side of his head on the ground and began scooting it across the room, as if trying to overcome an incredible itch on that side of his head, but it only proved to be in vein. Bolt was sleepless cause of these thoughts, and it was slowly killing him!
His growling intensified. His breathing became heavier, and his hunger for relief was strong. These thoughts were such pestilences to him! Getting rid of them would be like curing a mosquito bite while it was a storm of irritation the moment before.
It was all there... the memories and everything else that came in the package. Pain, regret, and sorrow. All that remains are wishes on how things should different... which are useless!
The pain was a living hell for Bolt. Everyone should know that you can't lose a close friend or relative without somehow crying or feeling an emptiness beyond crying. You can't let it slip by you like other things. Like the one that cut ahead of you in a line. Or like the person who accidentally stepped on your tail. ... Or if someone you don't know has died, the pain is never the same when you hear about it.
... No one could understand the torture Bolt was in now, but it was beyond what he has felt in the past. The regret of losing Penny was overwhelming to him, but that's when he thought he still had powers. However, later being told he doesn't was a needle to his heart. How has his whole life been a lie? Surely the Styrofoam was to blame for his lack of powers...
Well... now was just too different. He never saw it coming, nor could he stop it. There was so much happening in his life already, he couldn't have known that someone else was reaching out for him. Someone who...
... has always been his biggest fan.
Rhino was gone... in almost a flash, Bolt wasn't fast enough to see the motorcycle racing down the street. But now it was just a flash memory in his head that played over and over again. The horror of that moment doomed him in a cage trapping him with the image for the rest of his breathing days. Trapped with the regret that he never thanked Rhino for all he's done. Regret that he couldn't save him... even emotionally when he KNEW that the hamster was feeling ignored and needed his hero to help him through it. But no... in his last days he was just too quiet. Just... too quiet!
It should have been noticeable. The changes in Rhino. The hamster was so spunky when he was first adopted, but as time went on, and Bolt grew closer to Mittens, the hamster became more and more a background image. Bolt knew there must be some kind of a problem when Rhino tried to lock Mittens in a cabinet one time. But... it all happened so fast, it was unbelievable. Bolt saw it all, but never pieced together the clews.
Clues? ... clews... claws...
Bolt returned to the living room. He forgot what had been taking over him. In a shocking moment... Bolt looked down at his claws... then back up at everything in the room. The walls were destroyed by countless scratches and scrapes, and the carpets were torn up and unruly.
In a frightening instant, he felt a presence behind him. He snapped backwards suddenly, only to find Mittens scurry into the shadows. There was a high pitched yelp too, almost expecting Bolt would lunge at her. For a moment, nothing happened... no words were exchanged.
After a dead silent minute Bolt turned away, feeling nothing but bitterness. He wanted to cry, but he COULDN'T!
Mittens had already shed tears from the battle she was watching Bolt fight. She couldn't bare to see him like this, and it tore her heart just to watch the aftermath on Rhino's death torture him so brutally. She wanted badly to comfort him... say something, or DO something. But she hadn't the faintest idea. In fact, she knew she was unwanted. Without much thought, she left the room, and entered the darkened hallway. More tears came on as she thought about Rhino... She shut her eyes tightly, and lifted the back of her paw up to her face to wipe her tears.
Bolt took this time to leave through the dog door. He couldn't hear Mittens' painful sobs any longer. He hated to hear anyone's sobs... Penny's, Penny's mother... but Mitten's was just too hard. He knew he couldn't blame her for this. She felt as much pain as any of them did.
As Bolt choked on the lump in his throat, he finally felt the tear. It ran down his cheek and fell to his paw. His words came out as a crack when he spoke quietly,
"I miss you, Rhino..."