Bucky felt the weight shift on the mattress, his metal arm unconsciously going to grasp the knife hidden underneath his pillow. Bucky jerked the knife toward the throat of who was sitting on his mattress, his blue eyes snapping open. Natasha stood relaxed with a knife at her throat, her dark red hair wild and green eyes glowing at him in the darkness. Bucky sat up his dark hair hanging in front of his face.
"Natalia." Bucky said his voice gruff.
"We need to talk." Natasha said rubbing the circular scar on her wrist,"Why didn't you kill me in Odessa and in DC? James, you're good, you chose not to kill me."
Bucky thought for a second, his mind shuffling through compartmentalized memories,"I didn't have orders to kill you. Madame B. asked for your threat to be neutralized, not killed. A shot to your hip did that."
"So you didn't remember me?" Natasha asked sitting on Bucky's thigh.
Bucky shook his head,"Not consciously at least. I didn't remember you till a few month ago when I started to contact you."
"I'm glad you did, they would have killed you." Natasha said remembering seeing Bucky tied up to a meat hook. The restraints being the only thing holding him up, his hair matted and his skin covered with in his blood.
Bucky looked up, his blue eyes troubled and his voice dry,"Most days I wish I did."
"Why?" Natasha asked moving forward, so she and Bucky were sitting side by side.
"Steve woke up after being frozen, I didn't get that luxury." Bucky held up his hands watching as the metal one glinted in the light,"I killed so many people, your ledger may have red, but mine is gushing red, dripping red. Anyone who touches it will come away with stained hands."
"Steve's glad to have you back, James." Natasha said laying on her side without asking for permission.
Bucky laid back down putting the knife back underneath his pillow and laid down, his back touching Natasha's, listening to her breath even out and deepen before he spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper,"I wish we shared that sentiment, Natasha."