The dimly lit bar in the middle of town buzzed quietly with activity. Monsters and humans alike came to drink their sorrows away or find new and interesting people. Two such monsters sat on bar stools together at the bar's long counter-top. The intimidating fish woman gripped a beer in her hands so tightly, that at any moment it might shatter into a million pieces. Next to her, a skeleton sipped at a similar bottle (labelled root beer) through a silly straw. The skeleton wore a very stylish archaeologist outfit, with a matching tan vest, tan shorts, and a large hat. A magnifying glass dangled on his belt.
Sitting next to the skeleton was another human. He noticed the skeleton's outfit and found himself interested in striking up a conversation. "Hey there," he greeted.
"HELLO, HUMAN," the skeleton replied, a little too eagerly. "I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"
The man cringed slightly, not expecting to get such a big response. "I was, uh, just wanting to talk," he was unsure if he actually wanted to anymore. "L-like about your outfit. What do you do?"
The skeleton beamed, absolutely ecstatic that anyone noticed his amazing outfit. "I'M AN ARCHAEOLOGIST! I GO ON ADVENTURES!" His feet bounced excitedly against the floor. "AND I SOLVE PUZZLES! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT ARCHAEOLOGISTS DO!"
The man raised a skeptical eyebrow for a moment, but tried his best not to be rude. He nodded. "An archaeologist, eh? I have a friend in that field. What college did you go to?"
"COLLEGE?!"
The fish woman sitting next to Papyrus found herself in a rather similar situation.
Though she was also on archaeological adventures like Papyrus, she wanted to wear much more useful clothes. Which was why she was decked out in her tough metal armor, professing to act as most awesome bodyguard to Papyrus. After all, when solving puzzles, you needed someone to watch your back and take out all the bad guys, right? And she was eager for some bad guys to take out very soon.
But right now, there were only normal guys and gals around her. One such was a mermaid who sat on the left side of her, sipping prettily on a colorful drink. The fish woman sneered at such a cowardly beverage. The mermaid, however, didn't seem to notice this. She brushed some of her long and beautiful blonde hair from her face to look into the other monster's right eye (the left being covered by an eyepatch). "Hey there," she breathed out almost in a whisper.
"Hey," the fish woman replied halfheartedly, starring forward at nothing in particular. The mermaid was attractive, but she wasn't about to show any weakness.
"My name's Ariel," she said, daintily taking a sip out of her rainbow beverage. "What's yours?"
Very original name, the fish woman thought to herself. "I'm Undyne. My partner and I are looking for information." She took her bottle and threw her head back, gulping the entire drink in just a few seconds. After a very unladylike burp, she signaled to the barkeeper for another one.
The mermaid's eyelids fluttered, clearly enamored at this point by the dangerous Undyne sitting next to her. "Information? Like what? Maybe I can help," she said in a silky tone, suggesting more than that.
Undyne turned to the mermaid, a scowl on her face. The mermaid shivered in excitement. "Various adventure junk. You know. Folk tales, legends, things people think aren't true but then end up actually being true and there's tons of bad guys and treasure and stuff." At the word bad guy, Undyne pounded a fist into the bar counter, a toothy grin on her face. Her fist left a rather large dent, but Undyne didn't even notice. Quite a few patrons of the bar looked over in interest, including the barkeeper himself, but felt too intimidated by the one-eyed fish monster to say anything.
The mermaid flinched, but refused to give up on her catch. "Oh, I know of something like that. Ruins. I could give you directions maybe…" She sat back, brushed a lock of her hair over her shoulder, and 'accidently' knocked the string holding her shell bikini top off her shoulder, calling attention to her chest.
Undyne's face finally showed a sign of weakness and for a brief moment, a shade of red and heat colored her cheeks. In an instant however, her blushing face turned into a nightmarish scowl. Undyne stood tall, slammed her fist into the table again (nearly breaking down the whole counter this time) and bellowed "Are you challenging me?"
"N-no, I-I just wanted to g-get to know you and take you to my place-"
"So you wanted to kidnap me too!?" Undyne roared. A glowing spear illuminated the bar as she gripped it hard.
"No!" The mermaid held up her hands, her seductive charade broken. "I'll tell you where the ruins are, please just calm down!"
Papyrus, meanwhile, was too happily engrossed in telling his new human friend about the intricate difficulties of Junior Jumble, unaware of Undyne's growling fish noises that were rising in intensity. He was also unaware of his human friend sliding away from him, making Papyrus soon just talk to the air for several minutes at a time.
Luckily, he soon had a new friend who was eager to listen to him.
"OH HELLO, NEW HUMAN!" Papyrus greeted politely when he actually decided to look. "DO YOU ALSO WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY PUZZLE ADVENTURES?"
The man, who wore a long trench coat and looked like he hadn't washed his head in weeks, swiftly glided into the empty seat next to the skeleton. Eyes shifted in all directions before turning back to Papyrus. "Hey. Heard from your friend that you're looking for…" Another quick look-around. "Information?"
Papyrus clapped his hands. "OH, YES. THAT IS WHAT WE BOTH SEEK. TO GO ON OUR ADVENTURES."
The man shifted his stool closer, enough so that Papyrus could see how bloodshot his eyes were. A human thing? "I got info for those who have… the goods." He shook a little. "Know what I mean?"
"OHHH." Papyrus narrowed his eye sockets. "UM. YES? YES!"
"I ain't accepting no substitutes." He held out his palm, face-up on the table. "So, hook me up."
"OKAY." Papyrus did as the human asked. A wad of spaghetti and meatballs plopped onto the accepting hand. "THERE YOU GO." He winked very audibly. "THE GOODS FROM THE GREAT PAPYRUS."
The man blinked at the mess he held. "The hell, dude."
By this point, Undyne was screeching, gripping her magic spear as she waved it around, trying to get her own share of information. The spear whizzed over Papyrus' head, slicing his archaeologist hat in half, though he was still too oblivious to notice. "I accept your challenge!" she was yelling at the quivering mermaid. "And I won't lose!"
The other patrons at the bar couldn't really ignore any of this. Some had fled, knowing what was about to happen. Others cracked their knuckles, ready to take out the trouble maker.
Before Undyne could get her precious information, she felt a smart crack over her head as a wooden chair shattered to pieces. She barely felt it, but the distraction caused her magical spear to fade out of existence. "Ngaah!" she roared, punching her first victim. "I'll take you all on!"
"AND THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS KEEP A JAR OF SPAGHETTI SAUCE WITH YOU!" Papyrus said, finishing his long speech. He blinked. The man he was talking to was no longer there. He blinked again. The bar he was sitting in was barely there! His eyes bulged out of skull for a brief moment and he hurriedly began to examine the situation.
The bar was in ruins. Dazed monsters and humans alike lay groaning on the floor, various pieces of debris and bottles scattered across their bodies. Nobody was horribly injured, but they were going to be awfully sore for a while. Light fixtures had been torn off the ceiling, sparks flying where the wires dangled in the wind. The wind?
Papyrus turned his head to the entrance and found the entire wall, door and all, had been destroyed. Cold night air was blowing into the once peaceful establishment. Green glowing spears littered the walls that weren't destroyed. A human was pinned to one by the scruff of his shirt, looking terrified, but not wanting to bring any attention to himself, lest the nightmare monster find him. So he dangled.
Undyne stood in the center of it all, covered in light bruises and tiny shards of glass. She noticed none of the pain, a terrifying smile plastered upon her face as she tormented her victim. A lone Temmie was beneath Undyne's boot as she continued to stomp on the monster's face. It didn't seem to mind and every time it's smiling face was struck, it let out a squeak like that of a doggie toy.
"UNDYNE!" Papyrus shouted, his usual grin turned into a disappointed frown. "WHAT DID YOU DO!?"
The fish woman looked up at the skeleton, stomping the Temmie one final time before kicking it out into the darkness, its smiling expression and vibrating body disappearing into the night. "They challenged me, Papyrus! What was I supposed to do?"
Papyrus held out a finger like he was scolding a dog who had gotten into the food pantry. "YOU CAN'T KEEP DESTROYING FINE ESTABLISHMENTS LIKE THESE, UNDYNE. IT'S RUDE!"
She hated being talked to like this, but she would never hurt her friend in anger. She would hurt him for plenty of other reasons, but not in anger. "All right, all right, I guess," she sighed, defeated.
"DID YOU AT LEAST GET ANY INFORMATION?" he asked, hands on his bony hips.
"I was about to! That's when they challenged me!" Undyne whined, crossing her arms.
Papyrus' grin glowed in the dreary ruins of the bar. He struck a heroic pose. "FEAR NOT! FOR I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS DID!" He pulled out a crumpled and worn out map from his shorts and held it out over his head.
The skeleton put the paper down on the remains of the counter, and turned his shoulder to face away from Undyne. "BUT I WILL ONLY SHARE IT IF YOU PROMISE TO STOP HURTING PEOPLE AND PICKING FIGHTS WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T DESERVE IT!"
Undyne stomped her foot into a piece of the chair, and its splinters scattered across the destroyed bar, nearly hitting Papyrus who either stoically did not flinch, or just plain didn't notice the danger that flew past his way. "But they did des-" she started and then stopped herself. She looked down at her feet with a sigh and childishly kicked some dust off the ground. She needed these adventures. "Okay, okay, I'll control myself better," she muttered. "Control myself the best. So good." She growled, clenching her fist and sweating profusely.
Papyrus cheered and ran over to give his buddy a hug, who ungraciously accepted it with a both a growl and a hiss. "GOOD, GOOD! THEN LET US BE OFF!" he yelled, running off with his pal into the night.
The map stayed on the counter, completely forgotten.