EvergreenGirl: Hi! I know you may be thinking, "Character death?! No!" But I assure you, read all the way to the end, and you won't be disappointed, trust me. I hope you get a kick out of this, weirdness and all. Please review and let me know what you think! :D
Died of Embarrassment
When Mordecai walked down the hallway, he noticed Rigby crouching in front of Pops' room, the door slightly open. Rigby held a camcorder in one hand, the other clamped over his mouth as he attempted to hold back laughter. As Mordecai crept closer, he could hear the sound of Pops giggling. "Rigby, what are you doing?" he asked the snickering raccoon.
"Shhh! Come here, it's hilarious!" Rigby whispered between suppressed chuckles.
The blue jay kneeled beside his friend. Through the cracked door, Mordecai could see Pops, who was spinning on his head. Suddenly, Pops fell over, but burst out laughing. He repeated the cycle over and over, giggling hysterically each time he fell. Mordecai choked on his spit as he tried not to laugh too loudly. "You filming this?" he just barely managed to mutter.
"Oh, yeah, man!" Rigby exclaimed quietly.
After a few minutes, Pops stood and headed for the door, still giggling. "Dude, let's go!" warned Mordecai.
The duo fled down the stairs. They bent over in uncontrollable laughter. "Oh, dude, that's the funniest thing I've seen all week!" Mordecai cried.
"Ooo, we should post it on Whotube! That would be so awesome!"
Mordecai's laughter slowly eased to a halt. "Wait, I don't think we should do that, Rigby. You know how sensitive Pops is. I don't care if you keep the video, but don't post it. That'd be mean."
"Oh, come on! It's freakin' hilarious!"
"I know, but how'd you like it if I filmed you doing something stupid and embarrassing, and posted it on Whotube?"
Rigby frowned. "Fine," he mumbled.
A few hours later, after helping Mordecai scrape gum off the park benches, Rigby bounded up the stairs, snatched his camera off his trampoline, and headed to the computer. He plugged the camcorder into the computer, uploading the video of Pops. "'I don't think we should do that, Rigby.' Pah! Who are you kidding, Mordecai? This video'll make us famous!" Rigby muttered to himself as he posted it on Whotube.
Rigby sat there and watched the video in its entirety. He burst out laughing, but froze when an all too familiar voice entered his ears. "Hello, Rigby! Where's-" was all Pops got to say before he noticed the video.
Pops stopped dead in his tracks, his cheeks turning bright red and his eyes filling with tears. He gasped suddenly and clutched his chest with his hands before collapsing. "Oh crap! Pops!" Rigby squeaked.
Just then, Mordecai pushed open the door and entered. It took a second before it all registered in Mordecai's mind. "Pops! Pops!" he screamed as he plopped to the floor beside him. Mordecai glared up at his friend. "Rigby! What the H?! I told you NOT to post that video! Gah! I can't even trust you to do something so simple! You killed him!"
"I'm sorry!" Rigby screeched. "I didn't know it'd kill him!"
"Well, what'd you think it'd do then?! Hm?"
Rigby looked down shamefacedly. "I'm sorry."
"Don't tell me that. You should be apologizing to Pops! Oh wait, you can't! He's DEAD!"
"What do we do?"
"Mordecai, Rigby?" Benson called from down the hall. "Where are you guys?"
"We're screwed," Rigby whispered.
"Oh, no no no! I'm not getting in trouble for this. Quick, grab his legs!" Mordecai ordered, and lifted Pops by the arms.
"What're you gonna do?" asked Rigby, lifting Pops' legs.
"We gotta hide him!"
"Where?"
Mordecai frantically scanned the room. "Just . . . uh . . . set him in the computer chair!"
They set him upright in the seat, and turned him to face the computer screen. "Pretend you're showing him something!" Mordecai shrieked as he ran to the door.
Rigby started clicking the mouse. As Mordecai opened the door, Benson was reaching for the door knob. "Oh, hi, Benson!"
"Why aren't you guys working?" the gumball machine inquired.
"Um, we were just . . . showing Pops how to . . . Snype."
"Snipe? You're showing him how to kill people?!"
"No! Not snipe, Snype. The video chat. See?" Mordecai gestured toward Pops and Rigby at the computer.
"You know, that computer doesn't have a webcam," Benson pointed out.
"Oh!" Mordecai slapped his forehead. "So that's why it's not working! Hunh, thanks a lot, Benson!"
"Okay," Benson replied, a little suspicious. "But I'll be back to check on you later. And you'd better be working when I come back, or you're fired!"
Mordecai sighed when Benson left. He turned to Rigby. "Dude, you can stop now."
Rigby stretched his finger. "Oh, good! My finger's killing me from all that clicking!"
"Come on, we've gotta get Pops to Skips. Maybe he can do something."
They sneakily carried him out of the house and to Skips'. Mordecai carefully set Pops' legs down, but Rigby dropped his head. "Hey, watch it!" scolded Mordecai.
"Sorry! His head is so heavy!"
"What happened to him?" Skips asked.
"Rigby killed him," Mordecai explained. "He posted a video of him on Whotube, even though I told him not to!"
"It was funny! I didn't know it was possible to die of embarrassment!" Rigby defended, crossing his arms.
Mordecai turned to Skips. "So, can you bring Pops back?"
Skips took a closer look. "There's nothing I can do. He's-"
"Hey, you guys!" Benson yelled from the distance as he headed toward them. "You better be working over there!"
"Hurry up and grab his legs! We've gotta get out of here before Benson sees!" Mordecai snapped.
"Okay okay!"
Rigby and Mordecai took off with Pops in their arms. "Hey! Where are you going!? Get back here or you're fired!" Benson screamed.
"Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up!" Mordecai cried.
They ran to the cart, sat Pops on the back seat, and drove off. "Oh, great! Skips can't fix it, and now Benson's gonna fire us!" Mordecai complained. "Why couldn't you have killed yourself instead?!"
"I said I'm sorry! What else am I s'posed to do?"
"Fix this!"
Rigby glared at Mordecai. "Ugh, I don't know how."
"Let's just lay him down in his bed and tell people he's taking a nap."
Mordecai slammed on the brakes to keep from hitting Muscle Man. "Hey, ladies! You wanna-"
"Sorry, Muscle Man! We're really busy!"
They drove around Muscle Man and High Five Ghost. Muscle Man turned to Fives and said, "You know who else is really busy? My mom!"
Fives laughed and gave Mitch a high-five. Mordecai hit the brakes yet again; Benson stood in their way. "Mordecai and Rigby! Why did you run away?!"
"Benson, we're sorry! Uh . . ."
Benson walked over to Pops. "Hey, Pops. Pops?"
"He's . . . asleep," Rigby lied. "We were taking him back to the house. He's exhausted."
"Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahh, right. He's asleep," Mordecai agreed, plastering on a faux smile.
"Okay," Benson answered calmly. "But after you get him to bed, get back to work. I don't want to hear any more excuses."
Mordecai and Rigby headed for the house. "That was close," Rigby sighed.
The two of them struggled to carry Pops up the stairs. "Ugh, why does he have to be so freaking heavy?" whined Rigby.
"Oh, quit being a wuss, Rigby."
"I . . . can't . . . hold him . . . anymore!"
Pops' legs slipped out of Rigby's hands, but Mordecai couldn't hold all of his weight. Pops fell right out of Mordecai's grasp, tumbling down the stairs like a rag doll. "Rigby! What the heck?! Are you trying to spill his guts all over the place!?"
Rigby cringed when Pops hit the floor at the bottom. "I couldn't hold him! Ew, he's probably all gross now."
"Does Thomas still keep his shovel in the garage?"
"Why?"
"We should probably bury him."
A groaning sound emanated from Pops. Rigby gasped, "He's a zombie!"
Mordecai punched his arm. "Ow!" Rigby cried. "What?"
"He's not a zombie. He's . . . still alive!"
They glanced at each other before sprinting down the stairs. "Pops, are you okay?" Mordecai asked, and helped him sit up.
"Oh, what happened?" Pops mumbled, bewildered.
"You . . . fell down the stairs," Rigby explained. "I'm sorry about the video, Pops."
"Sorry? I thought it was a good show! I was about to laugh when I saw it."
Rigby stared in astonishment. "What?"
Skips came through the door. "Wait! He's not . . ." he trailed off when he saw them.
"You knew?" Mordecai asked Skips.
"Yes, I did. I was going to tell you, but you ran off. Pops was never dead, he was just stunned. I've seen it only once before. Stunned by laughter. His body put him in a death-like state to keep him from laughing too hard. If it hadn't, his heart would have stopped."
"Well, I guess that makes sense," Rigby said. "Hey, let's go see how many views the video has!"
When they checked, Rigby shouted, "It's only been up for an hour, and it already has 1,000 views! Ooooooooohhhhhh!"
Benson came in the room. "GET BACK TO WORK!"
