This is my first CM story. I wrote it quickly because I just had to get it out of my head, it's been spinning there for days. Please tell me what you think!!!
CM not mine........ :(
They all want to protect me. I know that much. I mean, I know a lot of things. But I know that they feel this need to protect me. I'm the "weakling" of the of my fancy facts, though they are often the key to figuring out the unsub. I am also aware that I slow them down the most. If anyone was to trip and fall, it's me. I get hurt, I get caught. I stumble during interrogation, can't look people in the eye. I'm the one that needs to be protected. And that's what they do.
Rossi sees me as a colleague. Yes, he's threatened by my knowledge, but also impressed by it. He feels no differently about me than about Emily, or Morgan or JJ or Hotch. I'm part of the team, and you always look out for the team.
Hotch is in charge of me. My life is in his hands, always. No matter how much I prove myself, I will always be the rookie with the big head and the shaking hands. I know that he will do whatever it takes to protect me, to help me. But he will also trust my abilities; he will take the risk for me. He will let me grow, he will help me grow.
Gideon wants to protect my mind. Wanted to. He always wanted me to prove myself, that I could figure it all out myself. He showed me an immeasurable amount of trust, sometimes undeserved. I was the Dr. To him. He knew I had earnt my degrees and that they were more than just certificates on my wall. He taught me that I can use my head for anything I need. Without him, I never would have made it this far.
Morgan is bewildered by me. I can tell by the look he gives me every day. He is both astonished and disturbed by me, my trivial interests that turn out not to be so trivial. He will be the first to tease me, but also the first to save my life. I know, he would take it the hardest if anything were to happen to me. I can tell, he's already promised himself nothing ever would. It's clear by the way he holds himself in my presence. He's ready to save the kid with the key to everything. He's ready to save his friend.
I grew up an only child with an even lonelier mind. My only sense of achievement came from knowledge and I fed on it. I still do. I work with these powerful, strong, confident men every day. I watch them catch criminal, save the world. These were the people I was afraid of in high school, the people I wanted to be in college. It's no surprise they are now the ones my life depends on day in day out. They keep me from trouble, or save me from it at least. Without them, I would not have lasted this long.