Smutty Cuteness : The Cake, Lace and Kitty Cat Wonderland
Psst! Like lollipops? Oh, yes? What about chocolate? Now, don't tell me you don't like chocolate, or I just won't believe you. I don't know what you're doing wondering down this quiet lane, but you've been lucky enough to stumble across a secret candy shop. Since you look hungry I'll be generous and let you inside. I'll bow and welcome you, and point you towards some of our finest confectionaries.
Up there on the shelves, there are edible figurines of fairies, butterflies, and a few playfully rolling kittens. Personally, I grow quite attached to the kittens. I hate seeing them sold, but rock candy doesn't stay fresh forever...who am I kidding, I have 5 year old kitten figurines hidden under the counter. It's an obsession, I know! Don't tell anyone!
...Over there on a stand we have chocolate fondue with marshmallows ready for dipping. Yes, you may sample. And if you like the gothic touch, look towards our Halloween section in the corner. Yes, over there with the fairy floss spider webs and cauldron of molten 'green goop'...it's really only liquid toffee dyed green. Ingeniously creative, isn't it? Here we have silver-embellished black roses and little crosses...aren't the mini skulls adorable?
Oh, you like what's in the display window? Well of course you do. That's the finest thing in the shop, a divine 10 pounds of fondant, red velvet cake and pink and blue rocky candy, or as the Belgians say, 'shota ex shota'... I don't actually know why they call it that. But everyone seems to make quite a fuss over it.
Now now, easy on the- my my, you can burp quite impressively! You like the chocolate-coated honeycomb dolls? Delicious, you say? Why, thank you! My shop's pretty neat, if I do say so myself.
Oh...you're becoming very greedy...I just hope you're going to pay for all this...
Author's Note: This is an adorable story, not simply pure, direct injection smut. I don't want you to die of overdose okay. O_O
Ciel and Alois get up to some raunchy stuff that mortifies their butlers (in public too, the dirty little gremlins). Claude and Sebastian become on 'friendlier' terms ie. "I won't gouge out your eyes for now, bitch". And if you'd like, bring a special treat with you when you sit down to read this. Bon appetit!
Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji is the intellectual property of Yana Toboso.
Rating: T
Chapter 1 : Sour Gripes
It was the day of the Great Cake Exhibition, held in the Crystal Palace. All nobles in the region of southern Britain had to attend. The Queen had decreed it, and besides, who didn't like cake?
Not Ciel Phantomhive. He mostly approached the gatherings of nobility as a duty, but this event was something he had been looking forward to… in his typically mild, disinterested sort of way. That morning his demon butler, Sebastian, had helped him into an outfit of long button-fronted jacket and shorts in a rich shade of cream. The knee-high gartered socks were instead a sweet, burnt burgundy, as were his neck tie and jacket's cuffs and the flaps of its large, open collar. His shirt underneath was a mute gold. For embellishment, his jacket was studded with gold buttons on its front and sleeves. The outfit came down to his knees and up to his neck. Nothing revealing, as usual.
But it was elegant. The contrast of sweet, burnt burgundy and rich cream was almost like a warmer take of black and white. And the hints of gold detailed the outfit nicely. To finish off the look, Sebastian had pinned a miniature burgundy hat, tied with a striped gold-and-cream ribbon at a lopsided angle on his teal head. Ciel also beheld his dark brown cane with gold handle, and sported his ever-present eye patch…in gold. Well, something extra had to be done for such a special occasion. Sebastian had even placed a dark red rose in the breast pocket of his jet coattails for the occasion. Then they had set off.
And now the two stood silently at the front of the whispering crowds, dressed to impress and waiting patiently for the event to commence. The Cake Exhibition was set in the central exhibition hall of the Crystal Palace; the Queen's throne resided at the northern end. At the southern end of the hall towered the Centre Transept, its transparent façade an impressive archway that stretched high to the heavens, below which stood the comparatively small main entrance into the Crystal Palace. Within, people peered down the length of gold-lined red carpet that lead from the entrance to the throne, eager for Her Majesty to appear on it. To be honest, they just really wanted their cake.
It was a sunny morning that poured soft light through the curved rooves of the huge glass and metal building. The Palace was a miniature world of timber floored 'streets' and arch-fronted walls that mimicked buildings with balcony overhangs, the continuous aisles of which stretched further than the eye could see. All were filled with exotic exhibitions. Being built on parkland, the Palace boasted giant glass fountains, replicas of statues from around the world and fully grown elm trees, six times the height of a man; they spread their branches out in attempts to reach the teasing curved rooves.
The main exhibition hall in which Ciel and Sebastian stood had one long walkway of red carpet running north to south. This had been laid out for the Queen's procession to her throne. On either side of the Queen's walkway the nobility stood, bound within temporary rectangular courts bordered by boxed white rose hedges. These two rose courts were filled with many round white tables, intended to accommodate the exhibition guests for their long awaited cake tasting. There were also some large, rectangular tables, each supporting an immense weight of sugar, flour, milk and eggs. And more sugar. The cakes were loaded with it.
Today was about cake and only cake. Not even cupcakes were admissible. But of course, the ever-iconic English beverage of tea was present in various brews, with the intention of accompanying the sweet masterpieces that filled the endless hall. Commissioned by her Majesty, some cakes were five feet tall, and resting atop tables they towered high above the tallest men's heads. Some cakes were flat and wide, with patterns of glazed fruit or finely sculpted cream of every imaginable shade. Others were perfect sculptures, marble-white and intricately detailed. The rule here seemed to be, that if you could imagine the cake, you were likely to turn around and see it moments later. Edible garlands adorned the architecture of the hall. There was even a blooming white rose made of fine icing that was attached to the side of the Queen's throne by a plaited silken rope. The inner most petals of the huge rose curled together like velvet tongues, and the infinitesimal specs of silver glitter incorporated into the icing shimmered delicately at every angle, so that everyone noticed its brilliance. Usually, this would be classed a childish, overdone ornament, but today was the wonderful exception.
This was a cake wonderland.
If the sparrows outside had found their way into the Crystal Palace, they would be feasting by now. As it was, they watched the heavenly scene from above the transparent Palace cieling in wonder.
Surreptitiously, Sebastian inspected the craftsmanship that embellished each edible artwork. Swirls of pink, yellow, orange, violet and silver vied for his attention. He was sure they all tasted and looked wonderful, but he knew his were better.
Nearby, a portly old nobleman edged his beefy hands towards a cake with many icing flowers. No one would notice if just one of them was missing…but his middle-aged wife slapped his hand away before he had the chance. He lowered his head in disappointment as the faces of other nobles turned to see where the noise had come from. They raised their eyebrows in surprise at his candour, just as all well-bred nobles should do.
"Fat old bastard," a haughty, mocking young voice echoed through the crowds, it being deliberately loud enough to turn even more heads. Hushed laughter ensued from the crowd and the old nobleman blushed. His wife covered her face with her fan in a vain attempt to mask her mortification. He would be hearing from her once they got home. The mocking voice now laughed the loudest.
Standing beside his own table, Ciel muttered at the scene that was unfolding to their ears, "Rude brat…"
Sebastian nodded his head in calm agreement. But Ciel's warning bells had gone off, "Wait…I know that voice…Sebastian! Clear a path for me."
"Yes, my Lord," the butler carved through the crowd towards that relentless childish laughter. It seemed the crowd surrounding the manic laughter were now beginning to feel awkward, and they let Sebastian closer without hesitation. Sebastian was tall enough to notice the huge gap between the laughing youth in the distance and the rest of the guests. As he reached the human clearing, he paused and allowed Ciel to come onto the scene first, but it was too late. The boy had already discovered the source of the laughter.
"Alois Trancy…" Ciel's surprise was quickly masked with the dark utterance as he pushed through the remaining crowd.
At the sound of his name, a taller blonde haired boy dressed in a questionably short-cut outfit whirled around. Icy blue eyes shining with amusement, he greeted his fellow earl with a devious smile, "Ahh! We meet again, Ciel Phantomhive. I didn't think you would be coming here. This occasion is far too sweet for anyone so damn grumpy, I say."
"I happen to love cake," Ciel muttered defensively under his breath. He would never be able to say that one out loud. Wanting to make Alois pay, he continued with volume, "And I didn't think they allowed people in here with only half of their outfits. Indecent exposure was outlawed years ago, along with the fornication of humans with marine life. But it just shows what I know."
Sebastian's mind inadvertently drifted to the image of an octopus with wandering arms; they adventurously groping in places that I cannot mention here.
"I wonder where one would find such an outfit to begin with? At the back streets of London, in a brothel's reject bin? Oh! But don't look so offended, Alois; the cheap and sleazy look is back in, I promise," Ciel smirked.
Sebastian did what he could to stifle an un-gentlemanly snigger.
"It would be wise to hold your tongue, Earl Phantomhive," a dry, throaty rumble interjected, announcing the emerging presence of Claude Faustus, the blonde's own demon butler. He too was dressed for the occasion, though it seemed Alois had been in control of the extravagant decorations. Claude's customary black uniform had been replaced with an off-white suit, complete with white dress shoes and silver lining on the cuffs. The polished onyx stone that pinned his now silver neck ribbon together was now a garnet, complementing his master's ruby ring. One would assume silver on a gold-loving butler would not work well, but there one would find themselves pleasantly surprised. The only thing out of place was the blushing pink camellia, wedged into Claude's hair. Obviously, Alois had stolen it off one of the table decorations, and now Claude could not go against his master's wishes by removing it. As the two demons glared across the gap between them and their masters, something told Sebastian that Claude actually didn't mind his new outfit. Not even the pink flower.
Claude came to the aid of his human, his voice passionate in defense, "My master's outfit has been created with Indian-imported ivory wool of the highest thread count. Note the silver inlay is pure and untarnished, every stitch invisible, and the delicate combination of hues, flawless."
"That's right, Claude, you tell them," Alois shot an arrogant 'you've just been told off, hahaha!' smile to his tormentors, and stepped back to hang off the arm of his white-suited protector. He was practically posing as he stood, showing his body off for the surrounding crowd. The onlookers seemed so bored that they had turned to watch the drama. From a safe distance, of course.
Alois was, as Claude had said, dressed in silver, pink and ivory. He wore a tailor-fit vest of subtle silver. It was dark or light, depending on the angle viewed, and obviously so delicate that it had to be made of silk. Underneath was a loose woollen shirt of ivory; a refined, creamy white. The shirt hung off his frame as much as his favourite booty shorts clung to it; their soft pink outlining his rump and hips well…almost too well. Alois knew even the men were staring. His frock coat was also the same shade of soft pink, and he wore it off his shoulders, in the crook of his elbows. Its body hung behind his back like a lazy, gaping cape, and its sleeves covered his forearms like puffy open gloves. He wore no neck ribbon, probably because he enjoyed the breeze of his slovenly unbuttoned shirt far too much. Sebastian noticed Claude shift his pelvis in discomfort, and wondered just where Alois had decided to tie that neck ribbon…
Ciel rolled his eyes as he noticed the stockings Alois wore; they were transparent with a faint glitter of silver. Worse than his black ones, today it was like he wore nothing at all. Ciel grumbled, "Where does he get this garbage?"
The blond smirked at his nemesis and twisted his heels into the tiled floor. Alois' statement making heeled-boots were this time…pink. Don't get it wrong: pink jackets and shorts are one thing, but pink boots something else entirely. No one in London wore things so outrageous, (remember this is a period in time where unconcealed ankles are considered raunchy business) so Claude had to bargain with the cobbler to specially make the flamboyant pink boots, in secret if must be, and promised to pay triple the price. And so it was done. Claude arrived home with the boots one afternoon, carefully concealing them in a box under his arm. He had hoped to see them as little as possible…...But the moment Alois got his hands on them, he began strutting around the mansion with them on, and greeting guests with their outrageously bold pinkness. Many nosebleeds had ensued.
Ciel and Sebastian had just about enough of Alois and his wardrobe choices (to be honest, he looked rather cute, but Ciel wasn't about to admit that) and were about to dive back into the safety of the crowd, when Alois chirped from behind them, "Hey! Why didn't you give your Sebastian an outfit? Gosh, you're stingy, Ciel.'
Sebastian froze as he felt the blonde teen poking and prodding him all over. Alois tugged at his long coattails with a frown, "What is this? Black is the new yhack! Didn't you know?"
The more Alois investigated him, the more Sebastian started to feel out of place. It was true that no one else in the hall wore black. If there were servants or bodyguards here, he didn't notice them due to their beautiful outfits.
Am I the only one..?
"Hey, get your vile fingers away from my butler!" Ciel spat. At this moment his temper was edging ever closer to the level of indecency that would permit him to beat the Trancy boy over the head with his cane, repeatedly. He was certainly looking forward to stooping that low.
Claude intervened and gently tore the prying Alois away from Sebastian before things got out of hand. Claude looked quite dashing, Sebastian noticed, and the cat demon had to force himself not to sulk in jealousy.
Alois noticed people were watching, and relaxed his tense frame, "Don't worry, Claude. I won't cause any more trouble. I know when I've offended the little cross dresser. Huh. And I thought he would enjoy this shade of pink…"
"ALOIS! How did you…I-...Don't you dare speak of it!" Ciel stumbled hastily over his words, suddenly faint from horror. Sebastian quickly sized his master before the boy had the chance to lunge at Alois' throat. Alois was clutched protectively by Claude; enveloped in off-white splendour.
The two masters hissed at each other from the restraints of their butlers. Alois was the first to spit back, "Don't you know? Unlike some unsocial people, I actually go out once a while. And at these gatherings we get to discussing quite a lot, you know. Such as…" Alois drawled on, knowing every moment's pause inflicted agony, "…such as….the hushed up gossip that a certain mistress of a nobleman well knows, entailing the avid story of a boy who decided to dress as a girl in a pink ball gown, for a reason only god knows why. He waltzed around the room with his 'guardian' for hours that night. It happened at one of Druitt's parties, I heard. Shocking, eh?"
"Y-you!" Ciel tremored. He thought no one had identified him. How many people knew about this?
Sebastian tactfully leant over his master's trembling shoulder and whispered in his ear, ever so softly, "Bocchan, we cannot allow these inferior copycats rattle our dispositions thus. And we are in a public place. Do not forget yourself."
"I won't…but...he...is...so…" Ciel trailed off in a mutter, staring darkly into the eyes of his opponent.
Alois was positively gleaming. "Come on, Ciel, if you want to make me suffer, catch me. Come and give your revenge!"
From Claude's grasp the wild child suddenly sprung forth and darted through the shocked crowds. He even turned back for a moment to shoot Ciel a devilish grin, then disappeared into the forest of suits and skirts. Ciel scowled, and surprised Sebastian's grip by immediately following after the young upstart. Like two animals in spring time, Ciel and Alois bounded daringly away, their young legs carring them into their game of cat and mouse. Weaving through the immense crowds, they soon were lost like deer in the forest. Booty short-wearing deer.
Sebastian looked in the direction he last saw his master evaporate into, but in vain. A demon butler could hardly retrieve his master in this setting. He would have to leap an inhumanly high height above the crowds and swoop down to pluck Ciel out. With so many witnesses, a display of demonic prowess was simply out of the question. Claude was thinking much the same, except that he feared a little less for Alois' wellbeing; his master could easily hold his own against that scrawny, yet cute, Phantomhive child.
And so, with no orders given, and no where to go in the thick crowds, the butlers were left behind in the empty clearing, trying hard not to make eye contact with each other. Claude fumbled his gloved thumbs together, unsure what should be said at a time like this. He spoke hesitantly, "So…"
"Yes…" Sebastian replied cautiously, he leaning his hand on a nearby table and staring avidly at a teacup.
Deep in the sea of people, Ciel wadded through numerous pairs of legs in search of his human prey. The air was stuffy and smelt none too pleasant, but he had become a determined little monster, "Alois! Where are you!"
A sly voice tempted him, "I'm here, you fool…"
Ciel whirled around, but too late; Alois had pounced on him from behind. The two began to struggle on the floor. Hair was pulled, and noses were bitten.
"Ouch! You bitch, you made me bleed!"
"Stuff you! I'll show you who's a cross dresser!" Ciel hissed vengefully.
"You are! Ouch! You are! Cross dresser! Cross dresser! Cross dresser!"
You had to give it to Alois; the kid was relentless.
The people above them were so exhausted from standing in wait that they barely noticed the scrawny pair of brats mauling each other to death on the tiled floor. They had been waiting more than long enough for their sovereign to appear, and were beginning to indulge in the fine art of gossip. Chatter overcame the hisses of the brats at their feet.
Alois was pinned down, but the sneak decided he wasn't through and made a wild scramble in an effort to rise. He got away by the tips of his heels, and Ciel scampered right after him. They burst out of the crowd and leapt over the low divide of white rose hedges, not caring how many women screamed, "Wild animals are loose in the Palace! Oh my!"
Alois snorted in hilarity as his long legs carried him down the path of a carpet walkway. Ciel was hissing wicked swears, losing all semblance of self control as he raced after the cheeky pink frock coat in the distance. They soon found themselves facing the quiet southern end of the central exhibition hall. Delightful as the architecture of the galleries looked, there were mostly storage rooms here.
Breathless for the moment, the dishevelled boys stood panting on the floorboards. Alois was soon full of energy, and immediately considered his options. Through the arches he spied an empty white-walled room, its door still open. The interior was pitch black; it seemed the perfect place to beat some sense into Phantomhive without any interference. Or maybe, they might even…
"Chase me! Ahahaha!" Alois suddenly smothered his frock coat over Ciel's face, the distraction giving him a head's start. He darted into the strange room and waited for Phantomhive to run by. That was the moment he planned to drag him inside and make him pay. The method of payment still remained undecided in Alois' filthy little mind.
By the time Ciel threw off the offending coat, he had no idea where Alois had gone.
Ciel was becoming sick of this childish game, and besides, her Majesty would be arriving soon. Ciel looked forlornly over his shoulder to the back end of the waiting crowds. He didn't want to miss out on the cake…He decided to take cover before Alois came racing out of his hiding place to smother him again; this time he might use his panty hose. Ciel shuddered. He couldn't risk that. There were so any places to hide, sneaky spots. Alois was sure to have chosen one of them. Quickly, Ciel crept towards the open door of the storage room ahead, feeling it provided safety in its darkness, and very sure Alois would never choose such a blatantly obvious hiding spot. He leapt inside, and braced himself against the wall, panting.
Inside the room, the only light was streaming in from the doorway. Alois could just make out Ciel's figure by the doorway. He was surprised that Ciel had entered his trap of his own free will, and waited to see what Ciel was planning next.
"That bastard is not going to mess around with me anymore," Ciel panted to himself. As he slammed his fist up against the wall in frustration, the heavy door swung shut on the room, immersing them in total darkness. Alois heard Ciel wrestling with the door handle in vain. Ciel gasped, the rising panic evident in his voice, "No…..no. Don't tell me I'm locked in here…no…not today…no, no, no!"
From a deeper part of the room came the voice Ciel least wanted to hear at this dreadful moment. It mocked Ciel's panic with its own sweet serenity, "Well…at least I'm not alone in here."
Note: Ahhhh! Ciel, trapped in a room, with Alois! Ahhhhh!
I'm not sure if I should continue with this at a regular pace because I've got lot of work going on, so let me know if you like it.