A/N: So I was kind of in the mood for some Mosh and a post-college stuff. So here it is(: Kind of... well, SUPER un-editd, and I'm sorry for that. Just another hastily posted one-shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Clique. Just in case you actually thought... that I did.

College isn't exactly what you expected it to be.

Which isn't good or bad. You do need to study more than you ever imagined you would. But the parties are just as fun and more than frequent.

So your hands cramp up and lot more and you gain a tolerance for liquor that rivals some of the worst alcoholics, but come on, in a way it isn't surprising.

Josh helps after a bad one - three guys pulling you into a bedroom before you have time to think, alcohol blurring your vision and your words and making it hard to move your mouth.

He flips on the light, blinding you, and yanks you out of their little group of hands pulling and moving and touching. You start crying in his car and he lets you wipe your nose on his Ralph Lauren jacket.

Sometimes he calls you when your studying and you help him remember things like the life and death of Mark Twain.

On graduation day, he plants a kiss on your nose and says that now, you are adults.

You remind him that you've been legally adults since you turned eighteen.

"Ah, but now we have to drive our cars every morning and work. We have to buy a place to live and decorate it!"

You laugh and he hugs you and you know that your only friends, even with the kiss and all.

***

You don't like having to decorate.

You love it, kind of, but when you have to actually push the couch around and you have to put the sheets on your bed, you hate it. Having people do this shit your whole life kind of ruins a lot. Forever.

You can't do the whole purple thing any more - instead it's all about warm colors, comfort and security and rich hues.

So when deciding between the bedspread with gold and red or brown and turquoise, your thankful for a break. The break being Josh, who taps you on your shoulder and says that you should get the one with lime green and hot pink all over it.

"That wouldn't fit the decorating scheme."

He snickers and gives you a look. "I have no 'decorating sheme'. My place screams bachelor pad."

You laugh and don't say that you'd like to see it sometime.

You'd like to say that. But you don't.

***

This whole thing, this getting a real job in the real world and living in a real apartment and being a real adult, it scares you. Kind of like a mid-life crisis, only your twenty-three and nothing has really even began.

So to compensate, you do the one thing you never got around to doing in college.

His name is Jeremy, and despite the wholesome, good-guy, wants-a-family name, he isn't any of those things. He rides a motorcycle and has really, really short hair and the girls at work giggle when he clunks into your office and makes out with you.

It's the one chance you have to feel immature and fun and girly again, and you like that.

Josh doesn't like him.

This time, you ran into him at the movie theater, when you finally convinced Jeremy to go there. Two days later Josh calls you and says to dump him, now.

"He just doesn't seem like a good guy. Why you wasting your time with him?"

You don't know how to explain that growing up freaks you out, and Jeremy isn't grown up. You don't know how to explain that so you lie, sort of.

"He treats me well."

And you dump Jeremy a week later, because when you say that he treats you well, you shouldn't have to lie. Even if it's only sort of lying.

***

You finally get promoted, after months of ass-kissing and working until midnight, so you do the one thing that everyone should do when they get promoted.

You throw a party.

Your parents give you the money to hire a hot bartender named Nathan to serve drinks, and even though Josh's tiny little girlfriend named Nikki said that he wouldn't be available, he shows up anyway.

"Josh! Oh my God - did you hear I got promoted!"

He nods and smiles because you are so obviously drunk.

"That's fucking awesome. Isn't it awesome?"

He nods again. "Yes. Very awesome." His laughing makes you even happier, if that's even possible.

You think you're kind of getting the hang of this grown-up thing. You feel like you can do this, one step at a time.

Nikki's pissed at him, because it was some important date to her and he missed it for this.

"Our first kiss or something. She's great, but God, she cares about those things and I just don't."

You giggle and feel glad that the little blond thing isn't here, because she'd probably dump her drink on you or something.

He starts hanging with other people and talking to someone else after you manage to snag Nathan's number.

You ignore it. And in the morning, the details are fuzzy, so you don't really care.

Do you?

***

Wedding planning is the final step, nailing the coffin in adult you. Picking out bridesmaid dresses that you promise won't be ugly, finding the right flowers and reception hall and tasting unholy amounts of wedding cake, this is all somehow extremely important when pledging your union to someone else.

Josh is at the final dress fitting, to give a man's opinion. Your mother has the flu which you simply can't risk (Puke on the wedding dress? Disgusting.) And all the girls have commitments and appointments that can't be changed, not one bit.

You tell him to be honest. Too tight on the bust? Cinched enough at the waist? Making you look like a muffin? All of these questions are very, very important.

"Is it making you look like a muffin?" He puts his hands in his pockets, looking out the window. "Um, no. You definitely do not look like the product of a bakery."

You laugh and he smiles and you try not to focus on the way his eyes look when he cracks a joke.

You can't notice this, and focus on not, because he's married too. Apparently, Nikki had a lasting impression, despite her priorities being celebrating their three-month anniversary of their first kiss.

When he puts his hands in his pockets, she can't notice his ring.

"But anyway, you look beautiful. There's a little loose thread..."

"Where?" You starting inspecting every inch, twirling around to find it, anxious to yank it off.

"Right here." His voice is close, warm. You neck feels electrified when his finger brushed it, pulling with just the right amount of force to make a clean break with the thread, dangling from the halter-top and touching your shoulder.

"Thanks." It sounds like your letting out a breath when you say it, and you are. You ignore the fact that you hold your breath when he touches you. It is not a good sign.

***

The wedding is going to be beautiful. Nathan looks dazzling, all the girls say, and he tells you over cell that he can't wait to see you coming down the aisle.

You can't wait either.

You invited Josh, of course, and Nikki came too, of course. She swings her hips a lot and doesn't say anything. Maybe she's still annoyed about the whole missing the important date for Massie's party, you're not sure. And you don't really care. Today is the day of your fucking wedding.

It's your alone time, right before it begins, and you fix a few curls before adjusting your pearls. And then you hear a knock.

The door is locked, and when you undo it, Josh pushes in really quickly and then shuts it, re-doing the lock.

"Hey," you whisper with a grin and knock him playfully on the shoulder. You tried to make him your maid of honor, but he refused and refused and refused, saying that he was not gay and didn't want to be suspected of homosexuality. Plus, Nikki wouldn't really like that. Typical.

"Hi," he says lamely and his hand comes up like it's going to touch your forehead, but then he lets it fall back to his side.

"Came to talk to me before I'm a old married woman?"

He doesn't smile. And that catches you off guard, but you don't do anything about it.

Because then he's kissing you really hard and his hands are messing up your curls but you don't care, and that's funny, because you would normally be pissed at someone for messing up your intricate hair on your wedding day. But it's blaringly obvious that you aren't getting married.

Then he pulls away and says that Nikki doesn't like you because their having marital problems and she thinks it's because of you.

"It is," he mutters against your neck.

"It's... what?"

He chuckles and pulls away.

"We're having problems with this marriage. And she's all suspicious that we're having an affair. She thinks that it's your fault."

You nod slowly, taking it all in, and sigh. "And I guess now that it is my fault. Because we're having an affair. For real. But we aren't having sex."

He looks out the window for a second, a smirk on his face. "So?"

"So is it actually an affair? Or just a fling?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I don't... care. I guess Nikki was right, though. You're the reason I can't commit to our marriage."

You lick your lips and lean into him. "And you're the reason that I stood here, alone, before my wedding, scared as hell about saying 'I do'."

You kiss again and you feel like a spontaneous teenager.

This isn't what adults do. They marry and have fun with their friends, they don't marry and then come on to their friends before their weddings.

You're okay with that, though. And you know that it won't be too bad when you ask your mother to tell everyone that the wedding is off. You know that it won't be too bad when you sit Nathan down and apologize for this.

Josh exits quickly and you can't see the glimmer of his wedding ring.

Okay, you think. Being an adult is okay.

Reviews are appreciated.